Verge of giving up

queenbsw
queenbsw Posts: 8
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
As many of us do, we love to see results. Well, I'm not seeing any!! Since my boyfriend and I have stopped eating out he is losing weight like it's a piece of cake, and he isn't even trying. Me on the other hand...well...no such luck. Since I've seriously changed my eating habits and I've been exercising 3 times a week, which was 2-21-11, I've lost about 3 pounds. I'm sure most of you will say that is plenty for 2 weeks, but with the drastic change in eating habits, I would have expected more for the first 2 weeks. Maybe I shouldn't expect to lose any...I don't know, I'm simply frustrated!

I just need some encouragement, accountability, and reassurance that I'm dong the right thing. I know it is the right thing, especially when I can't fit into any of my clothes and for the general health of myself.

Thank you.
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Replies

  • cptino
    cptino Posts: 46 Member
    Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating enough food? Are you exercising?
  • Becky1971
    Becky1971 Posts: 979 Member
    Awww, I would hate to see you give up! First of all you can't look at your boyfriends loss and experience it will drive you nuts! lol. Theres lots of ideas running around here, sometimes it's tough to find the right combo of stuff, getting lots of water and watching sodium and caffiene, has always been extremely huge for me, if I don't watch it, then not much else is going to work for me. It will keep me stagnant if I'm not careful.
  • durlingkristi
    durlingkristi Posts: 22
    You might have put on some muscle as well. Don't go by weight, go by measurements :smile:
  • Celo24
    Celo24 Posts: 566 Member
    It's hard to say whether or not you are doing the right thing without more information. What are you eating? How many calories? How much water are you drinking? What's your sodium intake like? What kind of exercise are you doing and how long are your workouts? I would suggest opening up your diary - at least to your friends - so people can give you better info.

    The other thing is that you were right when you said that 3 pounds in 2 weeks is good. A HEALTHY AND SUSTAINABLE rate of weight loss is 1-2 pounds a week. You'll have weeks when you lose more and weeks when you lose less. Don't get frustrated though. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

    Let me know if I can be of help in any way. Good luck reaching your goals and - since you live in Columbia - GO TIGERS!!!!
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
    #1 you are doing the right thing by exercising and making healthy choices regardless of the weightloss
    #2 sometimes it takes a while for your body to catch up with your new habits
    #3 be patient with yourself...all good things come to those who wait
    #4 drink a lot of water and make sure you know the correct serving size and the correct calories...don't trust the entries on MFP...some of them are not correct
    #5 3 lbs is a great loss!
    #6 you are worth the effort to make you healthier and happier.
  • kdao
    kdao Posts: 265
    You have lost 9 pounds so far, that is way to great to give up on. Keep on going, you CAN do this!
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
    Men don't have the same issues that we have...some of them can drop weight like a cr@ckhead, but it will come off for you...there may be some trial and error as is with us all, but just remember that slow and steady wins the race...anytime the scale goes DOWN, you're doin' okay!!!:huh:
  • Adsnwfld
    Adsnwfld Posts: 262 Member
    Hang in there, follow the website, log all of your calories. You will see results. If it was easy everyone would be thin, tan and ready for the beach.
    It is a lot of hard work, good job on your loss so far. Keep at it and you will see the results you want.
  • CarPol
    CarPol Posts: 5
    Keep going. I find the 6 week mark is the best when you and others start to notice you are losing the inches and looking healthier. Eat less and move more...and don't compare yourself to anyone else. Good Luck!

    16 pounds lost since 11th Jan.
  • jmdale84
    jmdale84 Posts: 5
    I know it's tough, but you're not always going to see the huge results you're expecting right off the bat. I know I get discouraged sometimes because I watch shows like the biggest loser and think they are login so fast! But it's different for everyone, and you may have a week or two where you lose very little and then boom the next week it's five or ten pounds. Just keep the faith and keep working.
    And remember that's three pounds less than when you started and that's a start!

    Anything worth having is worth working hard for. Just be realistic and realize that every single pound lost is reason to celebrate. You didn't gain the weight in two weeks and it's not going to come off in two weeks. Just be patient and don't give up!!
  • B140
    B140 Posts: 56
    Measurements or a body fat% scale would help, I bet. I like to use the mantra "keep going, keep going, keep going" and maybe focus on how you feel better/can workout more, etc. But don't beat yourself up, your journey is just unique to you. :tongue:
  • SJT75
    SJT75 Posts: 134
    Keep Going...I'm exactly the same in that i never have that great initial weight loss....but steadily it is coming off. I know it's really hard to keep motivated but it will come of just persevere :-)
  • cjnorman
    cjnorman Posts: 93
    How have you changed your diet? Are you cooking for yourself? Have you shifted to more fruits, veggies, protein and fewer carbs? Watch out for sugar and salt in processed food.

    Cj
  • posherspice
    posherspice Posts: 15 Member
    Men always seem to make a quicker start than women - don't know why this is, but I've seen it several times. So don't measure your success by your partner's! If you are being honest with your recording, your body will catch up. Don't know where you are in your cycle but that can also make a difference - the week before my period I never lose anything, but the middle week of my cycle it all comes good again.

    Anyway, don't give up, you've made a great start!
  • Iceskatefanrn
    Iceskatefanrn Posts: 489 Member
    Think about this - if you keep losing at a rate of 3lbs every 2 weeks - by May 1 you will have lost 15 LBS! Woot Woot!

    Keep up the good work, come here often for advice and guidance, and let us celebrate with you!

    :drinker:

    Ice
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
    Drink at least 64oz of water daily.

    No you haven't gained muscle. That is impossible without a calorie surplus, heavy weight lifting and lots and lots of protein. In fact, dieting and calorie restriction will make you lose muscle mass along with fat. Strength training and upping your protein can hopefully help prevent that. (It takes mass amounts of calories, lots of protein and hours and hours of weight lifting each week for men to build muscle. It's even worse for women).

    Check your sodium too. That will cause water retention. You do need to give it more time though. Men lose weight much easier than women. Our bodies were designed to hold onto fat. I lost and gained 3 pounds for two months then late January it just started melting off.

    Make sure you NET calories are above 1200. You don't have to eat back all of your exercise calories, just make sure to stay above this number. This is a general baseline number for Starvation Mode and a good number to go by. You go under for too long and your body responds by slowing your metabolism down. This can slow down weight loss.

    And please be patient. It took a long time to put the weight on. It will take a while to get it off THE HEALTHY and SUSTAINABLE WAY!
  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
    Please don't worry about the boyfriends weight dropping. My hubby is the same, he can drink beer eat chips and crap and still lose it without trying. Men do lose weight easier than women. Concentrate on you and your long term goal, make sure you are drinking enough water and if you are not already track your sodium. I wasn't tracking sodium and it's a killer.
  • Naomi91
    Naomi91 Posts: 892 Member
    You might have put on some muscle as well. Don't go by weight, go by measurements :smile:

    Its incredibly hard to build muscle on reduced calories. especially in 2 weeks time. Strength training will help protect muscles on low calorie, but will be estremely hard to actually build. Reduced cals and cardio causes muscle loss, not gain.
  • hpsnickers1
    hpsnickers1 Posts: 2,783 Member
    I know it's tough, but you're not always going to see the huge results you're expecting right off the bat. I know I get discouraged sometimes because I watch shows like the biggest loser and think they are login so fast! But it's different for everyone, and you may have a week or two where you lose very little and then boom the next week it's five or ten pounds. Just keep the faith and keep working.
    And remember that's three pounds less than when you started and that's a start!

    Anything worth having is worth working hard for. Just be realistic and realize that every single pound lost is reason to celebrate. You didn't gain the weight in two weeks and it's not going to come off in two weeks. Just be patient and don't give up!!

    They are losing fast because they work out every day for hours and hours. Not everyone has that kind of time.
  • AbiNichole
    AbiNichole Posts: 300 Member
    You can do it! Be patient, you'll get it.

    Don't weigh yourself everyday. It's always very discouraging to me to learn that I haven't lost weight. It makes me highly suscpetible to a binge. For that reason, I only weigh myself once a week. For you, maybe you should take a break from the scale for a bit and keep up your healthy lifestyle and then weigh yourself again in two weeks. Just a thought. :flowerforyou:
  • EdAmundson
    EdAmundson Posts: 38
    Your underlying prblem might not be diet at all. Have you hsd your Thyroid checked recently? An underperforming Thyroid could be your culprit. Also remember men do take off weight faster than women. Plus if you are nearing your cycle, women's bodies tend to retain water. Are you exercising? Guess what? Muscle weighs more than fat. My suggestion is start with a physical examination with your family doctor. Second, take into account the difference between the physiology of men and women. Third if you are not exercising, if your doctor says it's ok, start slowly. Fourth, don't rely on the scale alone. Get a cloth measuring tape and measure your neck, bust, waist, hips, arms and thighs. Keep a diary. You may find that while your weight shows little or no movement, the inches are melting away. Finally, take stock of your mental (particularly emotional) well-being. How is your relationship with your boyfriend? Our emotional states require healthy living habits as well. Have you tried church? Couldn't hurt? I believe it would go a long way toward helping you maintain a positive outlook. Ok, now suck it up and get going. It isn't time to give up,! It is time to dig in and huncker down! LOL Get after it! YOU CAN DO IT!
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    3 weeks seems awful early to be getting so discouraged dontcha think? If you plan on reaching your goal your going to have to kick the negativity to the curb and quick. Firstly, don't compare yourself to someone else, we area all different. Secondly, I think 3 pounds is good. The maximum amount you should be losing is about 2 pounds per week. I know hardly anyone who loses exactly 2lbs per week until they reach their goal. Some weeks you may not see a loss and then the next week you will be down 3-4 pounds all the sudden...it's not always super consistent. I guarantee if you keep it up, you will see progress.

    If you are worried you are doing things right or not we will need some more information. Current stats, how many calories a day you are eating, are you counting EVERYTHING (veggies, fruit, condiments etc...), What are you doing for workouts?
  • dababers
    dababers Posts: 135
    Your body is in the process of resetting. You sent it into shock by starting the program and it is trying to figure out what is going on. Also, if you are exercising, you are likely building muscle mass, which is denser than fat. Drink plenty of water. Are your clothes fitting differently? Getting looser. Remember, the scale is not the only measure of progress.....and oftentimes is not our friend. Keep going, and you will see results.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,336 Member
    The reason men lose weight faster than women is at least in part because men have more testosterone and less estrogen than women. That means men usually also have more muscle and thus burn more calories while exercising, and they don't have the same fat holding to battle that someone who has higher estrogen levels has. Some men do have higher estrogen levels, and for them it is often just as slow as women to get the muscle off.

    As stated, without seeing your food diary, we cannot help there so you need to open it up. Also, without knowing the sort of exercise you are doing, we can't really make suggestions there either.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    I'm just going to post this because it's a biological fact that men tend to lose weight faster than women.

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/193153-do-men-lose-weight-faster-than-women/

    But, that doesn't mean that you should compare yourself to his loss either. 2 weeks is just the beginning of a long journey. If you're dead serious about weight loss, you will have to learn to be patient as it is a lifestyle change...meaning for life. Unless, you have some sort of reason for not planning to enjoy all of life, there's no reason to give up now because a short term expectation wasn't met. It's your choice, but if you expect too much, and results don't meet those demands, chances are you need to re-evaluate what you really want. Set realistic goals, not wishful expectations.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    If this makes you feel any better - in my first couple of weeks I put on 2lb. I was really annoyed: Gym 3 times a week, cutting down my calories and what happens - I gain weight!

    I did some reading and spoke to my gym instructor and basically concluded that I had successfully put on a pretty good amount of muscle (it really showed actually - in what I could lift, in how long I could run and in how I looked) - and I just hadn't started loosing fat yet.

    At the time I was targeting a 1lb per week loss - In theory my calorie intake would have been 1760. I increased my target to 1.5lb a week - which changed my calorie allowance to 1460.

    Since then I have lost 7lb (OK, MFP says 5lb but thats because I gained 2). Its been slow - sometimes 1lb a week, sometime none. occasionally its up one, sometimes its down 2. Doesn't matter - the trend is down.

    Just think - how long will it be to get to your target weight at 1.5 lb a week?

    How long before you notice a change? I say you probably already can: Here is a fact I learnt today - 1lb is 453 grams. We buy butter in 250 gram packs. You just lost 5.5 slabs of butter. You have to be pleased with that!
  • cama2681
    cama2681 Posts: 10
    hey i started on 2/23/11 and i only lost 2 pounds but i didnt expect to lose it right away. As do all thing they come in time. So i knew this is too. Just stick it out everything will be fine and you'll be glad you did. Like you said your doing this not only to fit in your clothes but for YOUR HEALTH. As am I. We can do this i know it looks hard believe me i joined this on the same day as my mom and my younger sister and My 21 year old sister lost 7lbs so far and my mom has lose the same amount as you 3lbs. I try not to look at them and say how are they losings and not me. But i believe i am worth waiting and finding out in time.
  • Zaggytiddies
    Zaggytiddies Posts: 326 Member
    Hello fellow slow loser! (Me too) 3 pounds in two weeks is awesome I know it's frustrating but take it one day at a time. Maybe try to do 4 or 5 days of working out, or extending your workouts longer I don't know what your schedule is like so this may be waaay easier said than done. Drink the $#'+ out of water. Water is your friend. Keep at it and it will happen. You CAN do this!
  • queenbsw
    queenbsw Posts: 8
    wow.

    I honestly did not think anyone would respond, thought it would be a shot in the dark. I am extremely thankful for your responses because it put that fire under my butt, just what I needed! I did open my food diary for everyone too see, however, I shall explain one thing. I'm a graduate student, and with my current schedule I stay up until 2-3am and don't get up until 11-12 (on most days). Therefore my, "late meal" is to make up for the lack of breakfast.

    I think I'm going to start a blog tonight, it might help me talk though something going on in my head. One of you asked about my emotional state..or how my boyfriend and I are doing. Well, our relationship is great, I think, sometimes there is a lack of communication, but for the most part if we have a problem we talk about it.

    Nothing in my life has ever been consistent, except for my food, and now him. He is always there for me, he never raises his voice, and he loves me for me!


    Any who, I'm pretty good about staying under my calories, but not my sodium/sugar. I do eat lean cuisines/healthy choice a lot, because I am a graduate student and they are quick and easy. Lunches are easier for me sandwiches and such, but dinners "meat and potatoes" kinda stuff, not so good...especially since I'm one person!

    I'm no longer on the verge of giving up! Thank you :)


    Oh, one more thing. You can only imagine how I truly felt while I was writing my original post, it probably should have been titled "verge of tears". When I read all of your posts I sure did cry, but not out of sadness, out of relief. I was relieved to know people, who didn't even know me or any of my 'story' were there to encourage me
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,336 Member
    I am glad to hear you are motivated to keep going again. Losing weight can be hard at time, especially when things are not going as fast as you would like. Keep at it and you will see success. I was looking at your diary a bit, and unless you are like me (forgetting to log water) you really need to drink more water. Try to make it to your calorie goal for the day as it will help as well, although if you are a little over one day and a little below another, over the week it sort of evens out.

    The one thing which you may find difficult as a grad student, would be my main suggestion, eat more stuff you cook, especially veggies. I often use a frozen California mix (which here means broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots) or something similar for a quick meal. I take several servings out (it is only 25 calories a serving) heat it in the microwave, then add some salsa and a serving of crumbled feta cheese. The little bit of feta goes a long way to making it much more tasty, as would a serving of a 2% cheese grated. This would be much more healthy than the lean cuisine.
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