Looking for somebody with "my kind" of demon!

bunnysone
bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
edited September 24 in Motivation and Support
Hey all!

This site has been wonderful to me and helped me so much with support, but now I really need to talk to somebody who can relate to my circumstance.

My issues are not really weight related,they are more stress related. I am currently on forced stress leave from work, diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and am being "forced" to sit on the couch doing nothing, even to the extent of my PT "giving me the green light" to sit there and eat in front of the TV and put weight on (obviously I dont want to do that ... but boredom has driven me to do it before). He knows that it will be easier to take weight off me than have me stop being so stressed, so he is worried about my state of mind rather than any weight gain.

Most people on this site have issues with weight, and I can understand that being given that prescription would knock them for six, I'm really hoping that I can find somebody who has my kind of issue who I can relate to a bit better? Would love a couple of messages if you think you can help :)

Replies

  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
    Do you have a physical injury that is "forcing" you to sit and veg?
  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
    nope. no physical injury whatsoever. that makes it more frustrating. I kind of wish I had a broken leg or something - that would make it a bit more bearable.
  • I can somewhat relate to you. Seven years ago, I lost my job due to "political" issues in education about three weeks after I had a miscarriage. Long story short - I spiralled into a depression (and gained some weight). Eventually, things turned around, I got pregnant - had my family and now am focussing on getting back on track...
  • Healthyby30
    Healthyby30 Posts: 1,349 Member
    That sounds strange b/c exercises is a great stress reliever!
  • Connie48
    Connie48 Posts: 190 Member
    I think I"d be looking for a different PT, at least a second opinion. I can't imagine how sitting in front of the TV would help stress.....did you ask WHY that was recommended? Shaking my head on this one.....
  • i am kinda in the same boat but not really im laid off pilling on bills im really afraid i cant afford my gym membership or the foods to eat better .. ive noticed a lot of food better for you are twice as spendy ... i dont want to resort back to my old self i like this new life ive started and the friends i met on here ... also dealing with some ex gf issues and self worth .. i dont believe in myslef anymore and it scares the piss out of me it was close to 3 yrs ago i threw 90 percent of my possesions away and tried to take my own life ...
  • skitchlu
    skitchlu Posts: 56 Member
    If you don't have a physical issue preventing you from exercising, I don't see why you can't. While you're off work, doing things like some light exercise, dancing or yoga, may help you keep the weight off and help decrease your stress/anxiety levels. I know when I'm stressed out l like to do kickboxing - I love the feeling of beating the crap out of something.
  • yeah i would seek a second opinion too... but what about taking a nice walk in a park or doing something that you love that would relieve your stress? it seems like sitting n vegging out is stressing you out more..
  • skitchlu
    skitchlu Posts: 56 Member
    @monkeyboy881 - it's true that fresh and/or organic foods and gym memberships are expensive. However - canned and frozen fruits and veggies, beans (legumes) and canned chicken and tuna etc are all fairly economical. Take advantage of your break in employment to learn how to make foods that are cheap and healthy. Also, while it's great to be able to have access to a fancy gym, at the end of the day, walking and running are free. Doing squats, lunges, pushups at home in front of the TV is free. Walking up and down stairs is free. Don't let being laid off bring you down more than necessary - I was laid off 7 years ago and was out of work for over a year. I used that time to lose 150 lbs. It's hard, but you can do it :smile:
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
    That sounds strange b/c exercises is a great stress reliever!

    I agree. I don't see why they'd suggest you sit down and do nothing and advocate such an unhealthy way of living. Maybe you should get a second opinion? Sounds off...
  • amandabrady
    amandabrady Posts: 203 Member
    That sounds strange b/c exercises is a great stress reliever!
    This is so true, I also agree that it might be time to get a second opinion. I somewhat feel that sitting around doing nothing just makes me think about everything i'm stressed out about...I do way better when I get up and keep busy. It seems like people should be working to help you target what is causing the stress, and find ways to modify that and be able to cope/overcome it. Exercise is one of the best ways to blow off some steam, I would talk to another professional and see if there are better alternatives...
  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
    Hey guys,

    I know this is a weird one and completely understand how many of you can relate to exercise being a stress reliever. I too use exercise as a stress reliever and advise others to do the same.

    My problem is that I do too much. I work full time and with the additional tasks, jobs and volunteer work I do I end up having about half a day in total to myself, which is normally doing housework. It's going to be a difficult one to relate to, but the problem is that I dont know how to stop.

    I cant stand sitting mindlessly in front of the TV, I cant watch movies, it just frustrates me that I am wasting time sitting doing nothing when there is washing to be done, or another project I have committed to do be doing.

    My PT is right. He knows me very well and has been waiting for this to happen. His concern is that they will be burying me due to heart attack from stress, not from other physical issues like obesity.

    I guess Im hoping to find somebody here who appreciates that me being "forced" to do nothing for a few days will actually help my health, it isnt going to take much for me to get back on the horse and start overdoing it again physically and mentally again.
  • sbarham
    sbarham Posts: 44 Member
    Do you know the source of your stress? Is it your job or your personal life? Or did the depression and anxiety "come out of nowhere?" I almost took a leave like that and my dr was wanting to put me on anti-depressant medication for depression and anxiety...but I knew deep down that it was the unrealistic demands of my job that was making my life unmanageable. I took 2 weeks off and actually did some things for ME (which helped some) until I could find a new job. This could totally not be your situation, just sharing my experience...

    But if you have so much time on your hands, I'd say it's really important to take advantage of it and use it to help yourself grow and get better! Read an inspiring book, take a bubble bath, take walks outside often, spend time with friends, focus on spirituality if you're into that, find a good counselor, journal, visit family, do things that YOU enjoy and pamper your yourself. This time and opportunity won't last forever...good luck and stay connected here!
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
    Do you have a physical injury that is "forcing" you to sit and veg?

    Guess I should explain my question! If you suffer from depression, inactivity is one of the worst things you can do to yourself! (And I am speaking from experience - much more experience with serious depression than I'd care to admit!) I am currently following the "prescription" from Dr. John Ratey's book "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain." (Excellent book - everyone should read it!) He cites a study where basically it was discovered that burning 8 calories per pound of your body weight PER WEEK makes a dramatic improvement in depression - as much as rx pills or more! I must say that since following his prescription, I have seen HUGE improvements in my depression - to the point where my doctor and I are discussing weaning me off of medication in the near future.

    I hope I didn't misunderstand you and I hope that helps a little. :smile:
  • jellyfishjen
    jellyfishjen Posts: 1,787 Member
    I can't say I'm in the same situation, but stress and depression are often my unwanted companions. Try and use the time in a positive nature. Borrow some books from the library. Inspirational or motivational books. Do you have a garden? Spend time in the garden or go to a park. My auntie often says it does her good to look at beautiful things. So whatever please your eyes. Even if its lovely clothes or artwork. You don't have to buy or spend money, just fill your soul with beautiful things. I keep a pile of books beside my chair of inspirational sayings and play the game of grabbing one and letting it fall open to any page. I just did it to get something to write for you and here it is.... "Spend and afternoon alone. Give yourself time to reflect." Feel free to friend me. :flowerforyou:
  • @monkeyboy881 - it's true that fresh and/or organic foods and gym memberships are expensive. However - canned and frozen fruits and veggies, beans (legumes) and canned chicken and tuna etc are all fairly economical. Take advantage of your break in employment to learn how to make foods that are cheap and healthy. Also, while it's great to be able to have access to a fancy gym, at the end of the day, walking and running are free. Doing squats, lunges, pushups at home in front of the TV is free. Walking up and down stairs is free. Don't let being laid off bring you down more than necessary - I was laid off 7 years ago and was out of work for over a year. I used that time to lose 150 lbs. It's hard, but you can do it :smile:


    all very true frozen chicken and white beans is my main staple things are looking up but sometimes its like digging in sand
  • there are a lot of people. i have noticed on here that have anxiety / depression, especially the larger ones of us (hope that's not offensive, i don't mean it to be. just an observation).

    I myself suffer with anxiety, have done for years. I had a pregnancy termination due to fetal abnormalities when I was 21 and I was pretty screwed up for 5 years, on and off of anti depressants, marital problems, self esteem, getting a job was very difficult, then my anxiety would give me my version of panic attacks each morning before I went to work (sitting on the toilet every 5 minutes to do a number 2). I am pretty sure I have been dealing with depression most of my life from puberty or there abouts, esteem issues I think were the main problem, aaand that directly relates to why the lowest weight i recall being is about 80kgs (over 160lbs) when I was 16ish.

    So. You are completely not alone with the anxieties / depression / stress. you'll always find someone around here with a similar issue.

    and. I agree with everyone else. if you aren't physically in pain from exercising. I don't know why you'd be told to stop exercise. Just do something lighter, calming, like the yoga ;)
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
    nope. no physical injury whatsoever. that makes it more frustrating. I kind of wish I had a broken leg or something - that would make it a bit more bearable.


    I have never had a dr., naturopath, counselor or psychiatrist recommend NOT being active. Exercise is always the first thing they all prescribe for stress and depression!

    I agree with others here that a 2nd opinion may be warranted - or, if you have no physical injury, perhaps start with some gentle calming activity such as tai chi or yoga? You can get cheap dvds or even your library might have some to borrow for free. Even meditation would be WAY healthier than vegging in front of the telly! I wish you the best my friend - it can be a long road back but you have lots of support here at MFP!!
  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
    yes, the source of stress is my job. i do all the other things either as volunteering, giving to others, or just as projects that keep me busy.

    Lack of support over a number of years, unrealistic expectations just to start.

    I set the bar VERY high myself, so when people see me acheiving that they just set the bar a bit higher for me, so of course I expect more than that. Over 13 years this has just come to crunch time.

    I will have a new job to go to in the next 6 months or so. Problem is that a) its not there yet b) my curent job is HARDER becase their is light at the end of the tunnel and the waiting game is killing me and c) my husbnd doesnt agree that I should move to the new job that I want, even though he vehemently agrees I need to get otu of the one Im in, so I don't feel 100% supported by him.
  • shelleyrose
    shelleyrose Posts: 12 Member
    I am a PTA (Physical Therapist Assistant) and I know for a fact that all things good and bad for you can be over done. Short breaks from over doing it can actually heal your body. Listen to your body. Every time I over do it, it takes me 3 to 5 days to recover. The older I get the easier it is for me to over do it. You are so right. If your PT is worried about you having a heart attack then you should listen up. This time of healing and rest will not be forever. You can do it. I struggle with over achieving and unrealistic expectations as well. I am sorry for your struggles. One day at a time right?
  • JennDoesKeto
    JennDoesKeto Posts: 244 Member
    Ive actually been told to STOP before. dr will keep me out of work a few days for me to stop and i do veg on the couch. hubby knows to leave me be and other than taking calls from him checking on me i just sit there and crochet usually. now im not going to lie and say i don't sneak in a bit of cleaning here and there or i don't check work email...cause i do sometimes. but then other times i just keep it in my head that i have to do something to make ME feel better cause im the only one that can do it. I hope this helps!! (HUGS))
    Hey guys,

    I know this is a weird one and completely understand how many of you can relate to exercise being a stress reliever. I too use exercise as a stress reliever and advise others to do the same.

    My problem is that I do too much. I work full time and with the additional tasks, jobs and volunteer work I do I end up having about half a day in total to myself, which is normally doing housework. It's going to be a difficult one to relate to, but the problem is that I dont know how to stop.

    I cant stand sitting mindlessly in front of the TV, I cant watch movies, it just frustrates me that I am wasting time sitting doing nothing when there is washing to be done, or another project I have committed to do be doing.

    My PT is right. He knows me very well and has been waiting for this to happen. His concern is that they will be burying me due to heart attack from stress, not from other physical issues like obesity.

    I guess Im hoping to find somebody here who appreciates that me being "forced" to do nothing for a few days will actually help my health, it isnt going to take much for me to get back on the horse and start overdoing it again physically and mentally again.
  • Becky1971
    Becky1971 Posts: 979 Member
    I struggle with depression and Anxiety. Diagnosed with Bipolar to be exact, but never see mania except when I was on antidepressants. I stopped taking meds, and so I have to really focus on what I eat and do to help keep me "sane". I spent years doing for everyone else but me. My children, my husbands ex wife and her children, my sister and her children, helping at church, My own Daycare, etc... I had to come to a realization that doing so much wasn't healthy for me or my state of mind. I realized that sometimes I just have to take a day or two and do nothing. Sorta like rebooting I guess. (Course there had been times when it was a week or even longer that I needed) These days I'm subbing for the schools but don't get many calls, and it drives me nuts just being here and not doing much of anything, I hadn't been very active due mostly to physical health stuff going on, and it had a huge impact on my mental state, so I have gotten back at it again since being here. I find sometimes it's hard to connect with people, because it's really hard to find someone exactly in the same boat. We can relate, and have some understanding but really to get the whole picture often just doesn't happen.
  • bunnysone you rock girl
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    I am a PTA (Physical Therapist Assistant) and I know for a fact that all things good and bad for you can be over done. Short breaks from over doing it can actually heal your body. Listen to your body. Every time I over do it, it takes me 3 to 5 days to recover. The older I get the easier it is for me to over do it. You are so right. If your PT is worried about you having a heart attack then you should listen up. This time of healing and rest will not be forever. You can do it. I struggle with over achieving and unrealistic expectations as well. I am sorry for your struggles. One day at a time right?
    :flowerforyou: :wink:
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,032 Member
    yes, the source of stress is my job. i do all the other things either as volunteering, giving to others, or just as projects that keep me busy.

    Lack of support over a number of years, unrealistic expectations just to start.

    I set the bar VERY high myself, so when people see me acheiving that they just set the bar a bit higher for me, so of course I expect more than that. Over 13 years this has just come to crunch time.

    I will have a new job to go to in the next 6 months or so. Problem is that a) its not there yet b) my curent job is HARDER becase their is light at the end of the tunnel and the waiting game is killing me and c) my husbnd doesnt agree that I should move to the new job that I want, even though he vehemently agrees I need to get otu of the one Im in, so I don't feel 100% supported by him.
    Honey, that's a tough spot to be in, I'm sorry you're not feeling supported at home.:frown:

    I wonder if something like Yoga, just simple Yoga in the morning like Sun Salutation and a bit of Meditation might help release some of the stress and anxiety from your body and mind. It's something completely for you that you can find a spot of time in the day when you're by yourself and clear your thoughts and simply be. Is that something you think might work? Not sure if you've tried either of those before but wanted to suggest them as it's helped me tremendously when I was on overload and couldn't slow down my pace.

    I too don't seem to have a medium speed, I have a high speed and I so understand when you shared that when you do a certain level at work more is put upon you and the cycle continues. Wow, it brings back memories and it wasn't pretty as I had gotten myself to the point where I finally broke down due to the stress and pressure.

    It does sound like your PT knows what you need at the moment, to be calm and not to be caught up in the stress of work etc. It's going to be hard to slow your mind and body down when you're used to going 1000% miles an hour but it can be done. TV might not be my first suggestion as that breeds boredom. Perhaps journaling, and as shared above, Yoga, relaxing time Meditating, card games where you use your mind like Solitaire where it's not super fast paced. Just tossing out some ideas...

    WOW, wish I had thought of those ideas when I had my rough spell some years back but keeping a perspective ourself when we're in it isn't easy is it? :noway: :wink: :flowerforyou:

    Big Hugs!:heart:
  • ChessRonin
    ChessRonin Posts: 160 Member
    Hey guys,

    I know this is a weird one and completely understand how many of you can relate to exercise being a stress reliever. I too use exercise as a stress reliever and advise others to do the same.

    My problem is that I do too much. I work full time and with the additional tasks, jobs and volunteer work I do I end up having about half a day in total to myself, which is normally doing housework. It's going to be a difficult one to relate to, but the problem is that I dont know how to stop.

    I cant stand sitting mindlessly in front of the TV, I cant watch movies, it just frustrates me that I am wasting time sitting doing nothing when there is washing to be done, or another project I have committed to do be doing.

    My PT is right. He knows me very well and has been waiting for this to happen. His concern is that they will be burying me due to heart attack from stress, not from other physical issues like obesity.

    I guess Im hoping to find somebody here who appreciates that me being "forced" to do nothing for a few days will actually help my health, it isnt going to take much for me to get back on the horse and start overdoing it again physically and mentally again.

    Are you seeing a therapist? You obviously have some deeply rooted issues that need to be worked out in therapy. If you're seeing one, that's great. EVERYone needs down time. Always. EVERYone. No exceptions. If you can't allow yourself to have any, you definitely need to change that, and therapy should help.

    I get the impression that a therapist is "forcing" you to integrate downtime into your life, and if that's the case, it sounds like he's doing the right thing. You need to learn to let yourself relax, or your mental and emotional health will probably continue to suffer.

    Good luck.
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
    I totally get you. I am supposed to 'take it easy'. I have various problems, anxiety and depression, that I take tablets (That make you gain weight :( for). I have something undiagnosed wrong with my heart and some kind of fatigue syndrome, I am waiting for specialists on alll fronts. I am supposed to sit and relax apparently. I don't, EXERCISE, its the way forward, makes everything seem better, helps with stress, makes you thin and nothing cheers me up like a few scale or non scale victories :D

    Its not often I say ignore the doctors, but you know whats best for you, not them, in situations like that anyway.
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