NSV.... Childhood bully!

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It was really good of her to apologize to you, I mean really good. A lesser person would have ignored you or not even spoken to you. We all do things we regret later, but very few realize it and have the strength to apologize.

That's great that she has apologized. When we grow up and we have regrets like that from the past it takes a lot of courage to aproach the person and admit that you were a horrible person earlier in your life. No doubt her life had some issues in it for her to act that way. It is sad how much that effects us when we are little. It must be like a shadow from your past has been erased. Many people don't get apologies for things that caused them pain in their childhood. I am so happy for you!!!

Thats great for you! I can't say I'd be pleasent with "that person" in my life. You're a bigger person than I am.

What an awesome story! Thanks for sharing. They say that bullies are really people who have inferiorities themselves. Your story proves that true in this case. I have a strong heart for the underdog. I can speak from experience with my children that, most of the time, the victims come out better people for it. You clearly have compassion and inner strength. Good for you!!!

Karma is a B!tch. She seems to have gotten her come-uppance and you got your beginning of recovery from that horrible time in your life. Kudos to you for being so gracious. :flowerforyou:

Bullying is incredibly harmful and has lasting effects. I have been bullied and I have been the bully. Generally speaking bullies do what they do to try to replace something that has been taken from them. Sometimes it is their power. Sometimes their dignity or respect or self esteem. As a parent, I have already had to deal with my son being bullied at the age of 5. He was being thrown into a trash can at his after school care facility and being punched and kicked. I found out later that the two boys (brothers) who were treating him this way were being abused at home.

Just last night my son told me that when he grows up he wants to prevent bullying [eyes fill with tears]. I guess your post is a sign that I need get my a** in gear. Last year I started a small anti-bullying initiative called Stand Together. I have to make it happen in my spare time which is pretty limited. However, I have done very little with it lately. Time to get busy! If you want more info, msg me and I will be glad to share it.

I am sad to hear that you experienced that when you were younger, but I am also glad that you got an apology directly from the person who antagonized you. And who knows...maybe that was the thing she needed to do to get her life on track. I believe in karma (or whatever people choose to call it) and I imagine she has built up a ton of it in a negative way. Maybe seeing you after all these years means she has an opportunity to start banking some good karma!

If you'd like it as a resource, I had professor last year that did an entire anti-bullying program at her school when she was an administrator and she wrote a book full of ideas, concepts, exercises, plans, etc.
"Fight Free School: Creating a Caring School Culture that Promotes Achievement" by Dr. Margaret R. Dolan. ISBN-13: 978-1-880463-14-7, ISBN-10: 1-880463-14-8, $30. Published by Rising Sun (www.rspublishing.com).

I'll send you a PM also in case you don't check this thread again.

It has taken way too long for schools to start opening their eyes to the bullying problem. It's only been getting worse over the years. (...) So many people have to get injured and/or die first before they do something about it. (...).

This isn't, generally, true. I'm sorry if you experienced a delayed reaction by the adults in your community... that's terrible. However, bullying has *always* been around and to a pretty violent extent. It just used to be an accepted part of childhood and it wasn't nationally publicized as it is now. If a girl got raped, it wasn't talked about. If she got pregnant from that rape, she was sent away to bear out the pregnancy and give the child up. If a boy gotten beaten to a bloody pulp, his father would tell him to man up and fight back. And I'm sure murders occurred - but they were kept quiet. No one wanted gossip about their cities or towns. Unless it was race driven... in which case, it was okay because it was generally accepted that it was okay to pound a black man to death just because. ugh. Yes, bullying has been around always and it has always been very violent.

What has changed are: 1) the number of children - therefore, there are more incidences but the percentage of incidences is probably about the same as it was 50 years ago. Many stats are like that. 2) social media. Now we can bully at a distance and it can be reported within minutes, depending the case. We didn't have that technology so long ago.

I do think the extremities in some cases has gone beyond what once was - but I honestly can't say that for sure. It certainly seems like it. But if a school shooting occurred in 1951, we aren't going to know about it now. It would probably take some research into old news archives to find out - in every city of every state in country. Personally, I'm not really up for that. lol....

School policies have changed as well in order to mitigate any problems. Do they work all time in every place for every person? Of course not. But they do the best they can when all is said and done. I wouldn't call this a blame situation because really, bullys LEARN that behavior; usually from a parent, who learned it from their parents, who learned it from there parents... how far back do you go before the blame stops and problem solving begins? It's not the school's responsibility - it's the entire communitie's responsibility. But too many people are afraid to get involved. If you saw it on the street, would you intervene?

We'd all like to say we would... but really.... would you? I probably wouldn't. Not directly anyway. I am not trained in such matters and being of small stature, it'd be more likely than not that I would end up injured. Who does that serve? But most people just walk by. There was recently a video experiment of a little girl being "kidnapped" .... her parents and the police put this on, the daughter was acting but as the father (unbeknownst to anyone in the street) grabbed her and she screamed for help, saying that this man was not her daddy and kicking... guess what people did? walked by. Maybe a turn of the head to watch for a moment and then kept walking. It took HOURS for anyone to get involved... even so much as to get out their cell phones to call the police.

This is what we have bred in our society. Indifference. Bullying hasn't gotten worse, we have.

Bullying hasn't gotten worse, we have.[/quote]

I agree. Our disposable world is made up of disposable people and disposable relationships (thank you Fight Club...although I am not supposed to talk about that). Nobody means anything to anyone else these days. This disconnect will be our downfall if we, as a society, don't realize that all people have equal value and that we should treat all people with dignity and respect. Forget the golden rule...follow the platinum rule to "treat people the way they want to be treated".
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Amen. btw, I LOVE your ticker!!!