Friends = Two-way street

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Celo24
Celo24 Posts: 566 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I was going through my friend list this morning and wound up deleting 5-6 people. Why you ask? Well, not for any personal reason. I'm sure they are all very nice and great people but I found myself always commenting on their statuses and encouraging them with nothing coming my way in return. From my perspective, that's not cool.

We all want support and I am happy to give it to each and every person out there. I accept every friend request that comes my way with the hope that that person will become a big part of my success and that I can be a big part of theirs. But I also purge my friend list regularly. I spend a decent amount of time every day on this site and try to comment on my friends' statuses and blogs and updates as much as I can. If I can find the time to do that with a full-time job, a 15-month-old son and my training schedule, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask others to do the same, at least to SOME degree. If someone isn't willing to, then I'm not going to carry them. Once they become a part of my support system, I'll cut them more slack. But while we are still "getting to know each other," no one has a lot of wiggle room. Not logging on? Gone. Not returning my support? Done. Personality conflict? See ya.

What's the golden rule we were all taught as kids? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," right? Right. And if they don't, then I say kick them to the curb.

Thoughts?

Replies

  • RTricia
    RTricia Posts: 720
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    dude... I'm a single parent, working two jobs, volunteering teaching dance, taking refresher courses for my credentials and even I have time to give someone encouragement on their weight loss efforts!! I HEAR YA BRO!!!
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
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    I tend to agree with you, though I'd slow down my rate of encouragement for those not reciprocating before defriending.

    My most common reason for deleting friends is when they become very noisy and generally full of themselves; becoming seemingly more interested in becoming popular than healthy.
  • dababers
    dababers Posts: 135
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    Kudos....I do the same thing on Facebook periodically. Let go of dead weight....pun intended.
  • MOMvsFOOD
    MOMvsFOOD Posts: 654 Member
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    I tend to agree with you, though I'd slow down my rate of encouragement for those not reciprocating before defriending.

    My most common reason for deleting friends is when they become very noisy and generally full of themselves; becoming seemingly more interested in becoming popular than healthy.

    I totally agree. I will once or a twice a week review my friend lists. If I cant remember someone in the older section of my list I delete AND I attempt to comment on people who encourage me as often as I can.
  • ashleyplus3
    ashleyplus3 Posts: 284 Member
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    I totally agree! But you knew that. :wink:
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
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    WELL said!
  • truedecember
    truedecember Posts: 151 Member
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    This is definitely something I need to work on! I love getting encouragement... sometimes I'm just shy about giving it. This post made me realize that I should be a better cheerleader to the people I'm friends with. New goal!! :)
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    I never decline a friends request so I have alot of friends now it is starting to make it difficult to keep up with everyone.When ever I sit down at the computer I try to scroll down through as many of the status updastes as I can to try and get everyone.
    Thats the best I can do.I just cant bring myself to decline a request so its a challange to keep up with everyone
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    I do the same thing pretty often.
  • Painten
    Painten Posts: 499 Member
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    I don't have as many friends on here as a lot of people and sometimes i miss peoples updates. If some people post alot it slips off the page. I have a couple of people that seem to post all the time, and when i log on it seems it's all them on my feed and no-one else. They are good people though so i'm not going to delete them.
  • lkkyer
    lkkyer Posts: 38 Member
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    I think some people get all excited and add a ton of people, then give up on the whole diet thing in a week or two. Those people probably won't even notice you deleted them for weeks ;-)
  • Rinny_D
    Rinny_D Posts: 80 Member
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    Agreed! If there are people who are inactive for a long time- gone, never comment on my posts,- gone, generally not interested in fitness and weigh loss but instead being anorexic- gone. I might accept everyone, but if your not going to make a positive contribution then away you can go! (in saying that I personally know 3 in-actives that are still on my account BUT only as they are my mum and 2 personal friends) but shhhh lol.
  • Oompa_Loompa
    Oompa_Loompa Posts: 1,099 Member
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    Completley agree. Once I get close to the 250 friend mark i go through them and the ones that havent logged in, or dont really post stuff i delete. its nothing personal i just want friends who keep me motivated.
  • JuneGem6471
    JuneGem6471 Posts: 1,001 Member
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    I give encouragement as much as I can, I will even go so far as to hit the "show more" button to make sure I got as many as possible. I get very few comments, I think you are right, maybe some need to go!
  • jenX1174
    jenX1174 Posts: 154
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    I work full-time and have kids as well. If I spent what little free time I have on here commenting on everyone's status updates, I wouldn't have time for anything else. Not to mention, by the time I get home from work, get supper done, get my little one settled for the night, get myself settled, logged in my food + exercise -- I am friggin' beat. I try when I can to leave encouragement here and there, but if a friend deletes my because I don't comment enough then that isn't someone I'd want in my friends list.

    This is a journey with many ups and downs. People have lives outside of MFP, and there are thousands of reasons someone may not log in or always comment.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    I Agree with you completely. I have mixed feelings but generally I try to be as helpful and fun to my friends as I can. I find it kind of a bummer to see that people don't even bother at all with me- *ever*. When I first started this five weeks ago- it wasn't a big deal. But now I'm just declining requests if you can't even bother to read my profile. I ask for a message at least up front- if you can't be bothered to do that one single moment how can I really expect you to be reciprocal? I look at every single profile for those that friend req me .. It takes just a minute!!
    I feel kind of guilty saying no- I'm not trying to be a jerk but I have one simple little requirement.
    Also I hate missing updates for the people that are my core friends! I religiously scroll down through the underbrush to give them some props. I am having a hard time thinking of giving people the ax though lol :)
  • luckyanniefish13
    luckyanniefish13 Posts: 6
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    You said it buddy! We should be as interactive on MFP as we are on facebook or myspace or twitter!

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