comparing myself!

jilldan55
jilldan55 Posts: 61 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Ok, so I am wondering... what do men find attractive if super models are not parading in front of them? We are all normal women that would love to look like a million bucks. However, none of us really ever fit the image on tv. I spend a lot of time comparing myself with other women and wondering if I am ever considered attractive. I know it sounds insane. Does anyone else really do this? I just want to feel sexy and good about myself. I want to be healthy too, but it is that mental thing that seems to plague me so often.
so I am wondering "what is sexy"?

Replies

  • jilldan55
    jilldan55 Posts: 61 Member
    Ok, so I am wondering... what do men find attractive if super models are not parading in front of them? We are all normal women that would love to look like a million bucks. However, none of us really ever fit the image on tv. I spend a lot of time comparing myself with other women and wondering if I am ever considered attractive. I know it sounds insane. Does anyone else really do this? I just want to feel sexy and good about myself. I want to be healthy too, but it is that mental thing that seems to plague me so often.
    so I am wondering "what is sexy"?
  • NewMK08
    NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
    I wish I could tell you what sexy is-To me, it's everything I'm not! I have the same problem you do of comparing myself to other people. But lately I've gotten a lot better about it. If I see someone who is obviously fit and gorgeous, I don't compare myself, but use it as inspiration to run harder on my next outing, or eat an apple and yogurt for dessert instead of a cookie or piece of cake.

    I think it also helps to sit down and make a list of what you like about YOU-Eyes, hair, personality, laugh, sense of humor-Whatever!! Pull that list out whenever you start comparing yourself to someone else and remember what makes YOU fabulous-And start playing up your favorite features!!

    We've all heard it time and time again, but when you have confidence and "own" yourself, that's when you're the sexiest of all!

    Huh-Now if I would only take my own advice :ohwell:
  • WillPillageYourVillageForFood
    WillPillageYourVillageForFood Posts: 777 Member
    I just asked my husband and he replied "Sexy to me is a woman who is confident in herself but not snotty about it. Mostly it's all about attitude....if you think you look good, you do!"
  • Ezzie
    Ezzie Posts: 665 Member
    Confidence and a ready smile...

    Look around in a crowded gathering...I'm willing to bet there's at least one woman with a group of guys that wouldn't ever make it to the first round of any of 'those' TV shows, but she has guys gathered around her having a great time. As well as her choice of men to escort her anywhere.

    Now, that's an older female point of view.....
    Gentlemen, your thoughts?????

    Max....yours as well ....:heart::bigsmile:
  • obliged
    obliged Posts: 465
    Ok, so I am wondering... what do men find attractive if super models are not parading in front of them? We are all normal women that would love to look like a million bucks. However, none of us really ever fit the image on tv. I spend a lot of time comparing myself with other women and wondering if I am ever considered attractive. I know it sounds insane. Does anyone else really do this? I just want to feel sexy and good about myself. I want to be healthy too, but it is that mental thing that seems to plague me so often.
    so I am wondering "what is sexy"?
    i dont have the problem of comparing myself to supermodels - for if i did i think i wouldnt leave my room :noway: - however, i do compare myself to my friends and older sisters
    i'm the only single one out of my sisters and my friends kinda always have been - though one or two friends are single but thats by choice not due to lack of options, like myself

    i think most of it comes down to confidence and how you carry yourself because whats "sexy" to one person might be completely off putting to another
  • nichols
    nichols Posts: 240
    I would have to agree that sexiness comes from attitude, personality, and confidence. I know many women that are beautiful by say todays media opinion, but just have horrible attitudes and are stuck up and snobby and beleive they are better then others because of their looks . An outer appearance will only get u so far if the personality is not there to go with it. I know myself have been out and had some very visually attractive women approach me, but after several minutes of talking to them and watching how they put down others for no reason. I could not wait to politely get away from them and just walk the other way. Beauty is only skin deep but a poor attitude shows the true sole of a person. Despite what my female friends say, I myself dont feel like i am an attractive guy by any means, but i know i have a big heart and a good soul, so i still dont care how attractive a woman is, if she relys on her looks to define who she is.
  • nichols
    nichols Posts: 240
    If u really want to know what sexy is though and what real men find attractive, just go look in the mirrior and then take a scroll through and check out all the other women of MFP, because u girls are some the best the world has to offer. U ladies rock.
  • elliott062907
    elliott062907 Posts: 1,508 Member
    I know how you all feel. I think most women feel this way, but ya know what?? You have to love your self.
    Honestly, do you think these super models, per-say ,are really and truely happy? Being arm candy for some rock star that probably cheats or hanging on a sugar daddy's arm? It all runs out eventially and when they get a bit older, they are all washed up.

    I may be a chunky monkey, but I am happy. I have a great life and a wonderful man and son that love me for me and yes , I can even think on my own and do not need instructions on how to breath in and out.

    I'm not doing this for anyone, I am doing this for me and I have so much support....

    So remember, when a man, or your man, ogles these women, just think, "they ought to thank their lucky stars they have a woman like you that will put up with them", because in the long run, normal men will never have these type women!!!!
  • jenken99
    jenken99 Posts: 564 Member
    Ok, so I am wondering... what do men find attractive if super models are not parading in front of them? We are all normal women that would love to look like a million bucks. However, none of us really ever fit the image on tv. I spend a lot of time comparing myself with other women and wondering if I am ever considered attractive. I know it sounds insane. Does anyone else really do this? I just want to feel sexy and good about myself. I want to be healthy too, but it is that mental thing that seems to plague me so often.
    so I am wondering "what is sexy"?

    You know sexy is what one makes of it, and just be your self remember and remember those super models are just coat hangers for clothes that is there job if they was not like that they would not have a job and my have you seen alot of them with out makeup ? i would not worry about it, just be yourself eye is in the beholder
  • Theresa35
    Theresa35 Posts: 1,102
    First of all ladies....we are way too hard on ourselves!!! We look at ourselves and see every little thing everywhere that is wrong with us. Maybe our lives have been through difficulties, perhaps we've a child, or two or more. Obviously our bodies are going to some extent display the events of our lives. BUT, that should be celebrated! I'm not saying we should stay in an overweight, healthy body, but we most love ourselves, our lives and whatever that entails, while working towards being the best healthy version of us we can be.

    Second, I think that what we believe the guys think and what they actually do think about women in general is really off base. Several men have mentioned here what they believe is sexy-and not a one of them mentioned a particular size, firmness, proportions...anything. They mentioned confidence, smiles, etc. I think men overall find the shape and form of the woman's body to be beautiful. Especially the guys on this site. They are some of the most sincere and encouraging to everyone.

    We each have a smile to share that can change the world and two arms (flabby or toned) in which to embrace this life with which we have been blessed!
  • Jackie_W
    Jackie_W Posts: 1,676 Member
    I think it comes down to personality and happiness, if we go around with the weight on our sho0ulders, we all look ugly - even the suer models!
    Now come on, do any of us really wanna be a size zero anorexic, that's too scared to eat a crumb without running to the loo or the scales???

    My hubby or 17 years tells me he loves me for being me, caring, funny (erm, dunno about that one :laugh), my whole demeanor on life. He says he couldn't care less how big or small I was, he loves me anyway - beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    I'm in a wonderful marraige, ok it'd be nice to have more money, but it can't bring happiness right guys?
    I have a wonderful man, 2 wonderful boys (even tho they recked my home last weekend:grumble:) 2 loveable dogs, a large mortgage, a great job and a big bum! But hey, I am losing this weight for me, my diabetes and high street shopping, ooohh how I dream of getting into a size 16 skirt - a 14 would be fab, but i'll be happy with a 16, it's still high street ready :tongue:

    To me personally, life itself is sexy, it's what you make of it, now ... I'm always dreaming of an isolated island with palm trees, beautiful golden sands and blue ocean for miles - but ... I know this is a dream, but boy, what a dream!!!

    May I remind all you lovely ladies, it's not just the men that can ogle - give me Patrick Swayze or Tom Cruise any day!:blushing: :blushing:

    What's important here is remembering, looking is fine, it's touching that's a big NO NO!

    Luv all you fab people :love:

    Jackie
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
    I agree, sexy is an attitude. Having confidence in yourself and holding your head high. Believe it and you will be. You can look at a really beautiful girl but can see ugliness in her at the same time if that makes any sence. It's how you treat yourself and others. Sexy is whatever you want it to be!! Along with most of you, I'm still working on it lol!!
  • lessertess
    lessertess Posts: 855 Member
    I just asked my husband and he replied "Sexy to me is a woman who is confident in herself but not snotty about it. Mostly it's all about attitude....if you think you look good, you do!"

    I've often wondered about this. When I'm fit and thinner, I'm more confident and I get more attention from men. The question is, do I get the attention because I look sexier, or because I've got more confidence and am more comfortable in my own skin.....???

    Someone should do a study. I'd love to see how it comes out. I also think that men are much less critical and more accepting of women than we are of ourselves.
  • jilldan55
    jilldan55 Posts: 61 Member
    thanks everyone for all your great thoughts. I know the cofidence thing is vital to how you are percieved. I just can't help but feel insecure at times about my physical appearance!
  • psyknife
    psyknife Posts: 487 Member
    Second, I think that what we believe the guys think and what they actually do think about women in general is really off base. Several men have mentioned here what they believe is sexy-and not a one of them mentioned a particular size, firmness, proportions...anything. They mentioned confidence, smiles, etc. I think men overall find the shape and form of the woman's body to be beautiful. Especially the guys on this site. They are some of the most sincere and encouraging to everyone.

    Ditto... and my boyfriend would agree. Seriously... he sees so many different types of women as beautiful.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    Hi

    I never had a problem with comparing myself to celebrities or supermodels...I've always been Ok with the fact that they make up maybe 1% of the population, and that just isn't me
    PLUS they have personal chefs, trainers, hair and make-up artists to help then achieve their flawless look....don't even bother with the pics of woman in mags....I just have one word about that.... AIR-BRUSHING....

    I think it's normal for some woman to compare themselves to friends/family members and admire their attributes and even 'wish' at times for a flatter tummy or longer legs
    BUT overall, I agree with everyone that being sexy is being confident about what you have.....that shines through...

    Kim
  • DjBliss05
    DjBliss05 Posts: 682
    I think sexy is in the eye of the beholder. At 225 pounds, I haven't had too hard of a time finding some great men. I have also had many nights at the bars where I have left upset because no one noticed me. It all depends on who is there, I guess. There are men out there who just love bigger women (AKA the BBW community) and some who just love great women of all sizes.

    I think it is really all about confidence. When I am feeling good, I think I am the hottest thing around. When I am not, it shows! I really don't think the "model" look works for all men.

    Work on feeling good about yourself and people will notice!
  • MFS27
    MFS27 Posts: 549 Member
    If u really want to know what sexy is though and what real men find attractive, just go look in the mirrior and then take a scroll through and check out all the other women of MFP, because u girls are some the best the world has to offer. U ladies rock.

    Awwww! :smooched:

    Superifical beauty can hook a man, but it takes a deeper spiritual beauty to have a meaningful relationship. I certainly have issues with my physical apperances (another topic), but I am content with the person I am - that is reflected in how I live my life, and how I interact with others.

    I think the definition of "sexy" has become so overblown - fishnet tights and silettos are really not necessary. All you need is a subtle glance, some class and pose, let your hair down - laugh and relax - the rest will all come together. Afterall, it's best to leave some things to the imagination, no? :wink:
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