Embarrassed to go to gym
CharlieSC
Posts: 42 Member
I went to the gym several weeks ago and this lady in her mid 60's weighing less than half my weight was pumping iron double what I could do. It wasn't so much her gender as it was her size and age. An embarrassing moment for me!! It made me realize just how weak I am. Nothing against her accomplishment but I am really weak. Nearly all of the men and many of the women a the gym are much stronger than me. The perils of the male ego!! I know I need to suck it up and just go again but I am having a hard time. Any suggestions on how I might overcome this?
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Replies
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some people are built strong and others aren't.... that lady must have been an avid gym goer and didn't get like that over night. Maybe make it your goal to be strong like her.... you aren't there to compete and maybe you can even ask her for advice...0
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dont'' sweat it (pardon the pun). I've seen people half my size lifting a LOT more than me. just do what you can and work your *kitten* off. you will start gaining ground.
now - get back into the gym!
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My trainer said it best... Everyone has their first day.
People are at the gym for themselves not to judge other people, I think its encouraging that you are taking steps towards a better you and keep it it, nothing to be embarrased about!0 -
Use them as your role models...0
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My trainer said it best... Everyone has their first day.
People are at the gym for themselves not to judge other people, I think its encouraging that you are taking steps towards a better you and keep it it, nothing to be embarrased about!
i LOVE this...and i agree with all of it....each time you go to the gym you will do better...dont give up!!!0 -
Everybody has to start somewhere and those people in the gym know that more than anyone else!0
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Instead of feeling embaressed about it, just look at their will as your motivation. You're there to get fit and lose weight right? don't let that stop you...keep going to the gym and pretty soon you'll be where they are. 0
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The only way to improve is to keep on going and getting stronger. I'm still one of the weaker ones at my gym, but after going for a few months, I've definitely gotten stronger and been able to lift more weights. Not everyone out lifts me now, which is a good confidence booster.0
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Just go!!
If you have time to analyze what others are doing at the gym, then you aren't working hard enough.
And everyone has different fitness goals...and I can promise you that woman was not standing around worrying if you were going to outlift her.0 -
My trainer said it best... Everyone has their first day.
People are at the gym for themselves not to judge other people, I think its encouraging that you are taking steps towards a better you and keep it it, nothing to be embarrased about!
well said!0 -
I was watching the Biggest Loser a couple weeks ago when the cast went home for 2 weeks. They showed clips of Arthur, the biggest guy ever to be on the show, jogging down the street at home. I totally felt like a jerk for all the times I said I didn't want to run in public because I might jiggle too much or look like a chubby girl jogging. We are our own worst critics. I bet no one else is thinking anything of you being there. You're taking steps to get healthy and you're not going to be able to immediately do all these intense things. That lady probably works out all the time and if she didn't then she wouldn't be able to do that. Do a little extra each time and work at your own pace! I've heard of very obese people going to the track and only being able to make it around a quarter of the track but each day they move a little more until they're running a mile. Don't let others have any control over your health or your success!0
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Most of the women I run with are faster then I am. I know quite a few women who are better athletes then I will probably ever be. However go do what you can do and remember you are doing it for "you". That lady didn't start lifting however much weight, she had to work up to it.0
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Hi! Do you have any friends or family that have the same/similar goals? Because I find it always helps me if I have a buddy. Otherwise, I put my earphones in, crank the music up as loud as it can go, and ignore everyone else! You are all there for the same reason, regardless your level of fitness. If they are too busy looking at you and what you're doing, then you should be flattered because they are obviously more concerned with you than they are themselves.
And- all in all, if you still can't get past it, there are plenty of great ways to get a workout in other than at a gym! Get some fitness tapes and a mat and go it alone- in the privacy of your own home 0 -
dont look into it that much....my trainers are so friendly they know everyone has their own limits and the best thing is to 'RESPECT YOUR BODY' dont pull a muscle or look insecure. Be confident and slowly and gradually you can build yourself up. I do what's best for me and push myself to MY limit not those around me. Someone may look the 'same size' or 'same age' as you but they may have totally different goals than you.0
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There are some strength training exercises you could do at home to get your strength up before heading to the gym again. I know because I have the same problem. I hate watching other people work out because I always feel inferior when they are doing SO much better than me. I am embarrassed by my lack of strength and stamina. There are lots of places online where you can find modified exercises, using milk jugs full of water instead of going out and buying weights, cans of soup, push-ups... Things like that will help you build the muscle mass and burn the fat so you aren't so self conscious at the gym.
Another thing that I've tried is going with a friend in a similar fitness bracket to me. That way I feel like I am on level with SOMEONE. I've also pushed myself to talk to others, even though I am pretty shy.... Just starting with small talk and then explaining a bit about your own fitness journey can sometimes garner new friends as well as a workout pal.
Just keep reminding yourself that you DON'T have anything to prove to these people. The journey you are taking is for YOU and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for taking steps down that path anyway! Being at the gym and starting out small is just another step. Really, think about it. One day, YOU will be the strong guy that someone is looking at going "wow... I am SO weak compared to him" and then YOU will have the chance to help someone else out! 0 -
I know going to the gym can be intimidating. I'd say you just need to focus on the reason you're going to the gym & not be negative on yourself because of what others are doing.0
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My first day at the gym I was on the strider for five minutes, thought I would die, and then got on a bike for a few minutes. There were all ages, shapes, sizes of people around who could lift more, run farther, stride faster, etc than I could. My only insight is to keep it up, you are not there for anyone's benefit but your own. Keep going back, for yourself, and you will soon be the one that the new guys are looking at wondering how you can run so fast, jump so high, etc.0
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I love all the advice people have given you.
I'm right there with you feeling the same way. That's part of the reason I go to curves, no one can tell how much or how little anyone else is doing so you never feel inadequate.
Just keep going and keep negative thoughts away0 -
Dont be embarrassed! We all have our starting points. Be proud that youre getting to the gym and that you are making positive choices in your life!! Not everyone gets the courage you have to get out there! You're a rock star and dont you forget it.0
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Hey Charlie,
Try not to measure yourself against everyone else. Use yourself as reference for measurement. Next time you go to the gym write down the number of pounds, reps, and sets you do for each exercise. Use those numbers as a measurement and you can increase 5-10 lbs slowly as your body gets stronger. Go back and 6 weeks and look at how much strength you've gained!! Also DO NOT neglect your legs; squats, leg press, step-ups, and lunges are crucial. Hitting legs will increase testosterone production (naturally) which will increase your strength. If you have an questions you can send me a message. Hope this helps
Curt0 -
Just keep going......people shouldn't be looking at how much weight you are lifting!
In Planet fitness.....the machines are set up so you can't really see how much weight people have on there..
I guess with free weights...there's no way to hide it.
You are there to improve your own health and you are doing more than the avarage guy who doesn't go to the gym at all...
I have never cared for men with huge bulging muscles....maybe it's just me. ......Just enough muscle to help carry groceries in the house is good enough for me :-)0 -
Everyone has to start somewhere....... its respectable when someone actually goes to the gym and works out HARD instead of just walking around doing anything that catches their eye.... weather they are curling 5lbs or 50lbs.
Have a plan, write it down in a note pad, then go to the gym and follow it
someday someone else is gonna be in your shoes and YOU are going to be the one making them embarrissed.0 -
How do you think they got that way? By going to the gym! I go, I do the classes, but there are people of all fitness levels. Don't focus on anyone else but you. Chances are they aren't judging you, they may even been thinking, "good for him!" I swear I am the fattest person in all my classes, but everyone is very accepting and nice. The trainer who sold me my membership said people are afraid of the gym because they think its all fit people. They are there, but there are all sorts of levels. And remember, those people at the gym are in shape because they go. And many have been where we are so don't let it discourage you!0
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buy a home gym and get started doing stuff there. THis will build you up some so you wont feel so ashamed and then go back to the gym once you have some strength behind you so that you can build in so many other areas that a home gym can not do for you.0
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1. Find a gym that meets your needs -- both the brand of gym (ex. YMCA or Bally's) and the location. I personally found big differences between different YMCA locations. Some seemed very accepting of all shapes, ages and abilities, while others made me feel more uncomfortable.
2. LOVE that you're focused on ability, not appearance. I was always inspired to see little old ladies at the gym who clearly thought about their bodies in terms of what they were capable of doing, not in terms of what they looked like. If only we could all adopt that mindset!0 -
Most people while in the gym are paying attention to what they are doing ... so chances are no one was really watching what you were lifting... and if they were .. they not there to better them selfs. Also have to remember that everyone at one point had to start at square one... congrats on you wanting to get healthier
) and before you know it you will work up to being stronger and be able to lift more !! You can also keep some hand weights at home or work to help build up your strengh ) Keep up the good work !! 0 -
Hehe, Male ego! I know the feeling, my GF is in much better shape than me, she even teaches aerobics part time. And there is a woman at the gym, who is fiftyish, and she is incredibly buff, doing stuff I can't even think of doing. But I go anyway because if I don't workout I don't have a chance of meeting my calorie goal!
Just go for it, it will really help with losing some excess pounds.0 -
I feel your pain! The best way to try to overcome your 'male ego' is to remember that these people didn't just wake up one morning buff/built. They all started out as someone that needed to get into shape, all you see is the end result...not all the work and perseverance it took to get that point. I found it hard to go and work out next to people with an awesome shape UNTIL I watched one co-worker transform in front of my eyes...we have a fitness facility at my job I would she this young lady in passing almost everyday going to the gym or getting ready for aerobics, or fitness bootcamp, coming in from running the outdoor trail...and now a year later she is down to a healthy weight. I finally started working out and on my first day on the treadmill I see her pumping iron looking great. Of course if I didn't see her working out everyday I would have felt really bad about myself....but I knew how hard she worked and she inspires me.
The point of the story..well I think you get it :-)0 -
I am so pleased with the response that I have received. This is awesome site and there are obviously a lot of caring and considerate people that use this. Thank you so much for your comments and support!0
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I would work out at home with some smaller weights to get my strength up and then go to the gym. I've done this before when I first started working out again because I was too embarrassed to fight through the brawny men to get to the free weights. Women can sometimes have their own egos to deal with...
I suffer from a different symptom of the same problem: I am ultra competitive so if I see someone my size or smaller lifting more than me, I usually will try to match them- I've been lifting weights since I was in 8th grade, so even though I got fat, I am still strong. I've found that I can typically lift double what I "think" I should be able to lift, and it's my mind that stops me from doing something, not my body. I'm working on being less competitive, and not paying attention to what other people are doing. Although being competitive provides much motivation, competing with random people at the gym is stupid and an easy way to get hurt- I know this, yet I've done it. :-)
Good luck with this. Perhaps you can ask that 50 year old woman for some training tips. She'll probably be flattered, and chances are, she was in your shoes at some point, too. And I'll work on taking my own advice, too.0
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