Embarrassed to go to gym

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I went to the gym several weeks ago and this lady in her mid 60's weighing less than half my weight was pumping iron double what I could do. It wasn't so much her gender as it was her size and age. An embarrassing moment for me!! It made me realize just how weak I am. Nothing against her accomplishment but I am really weak. Nearly all of the men and many of the women a the gym are much stronger than me. The perils of the male ego!! I know I need to suck it up and just go again but I am having a hard time. Any suggestions on how I might overcome this?
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Replies

  • strandedeyes
    strandedeyes Posts: 392 Member
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    some people are built strong and others aren't.... that lady must have been an avid gym goer and didn't get like that over night. Maybe make it your goal to be strong like her.... you aren't there to compete and maybe you can even ask her for advice...
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    dont'' sweat it (pardon the pun). I've seen people half my size lifting a LOT more than me. just do what you can and work your *kitten* off. you will start gaining ground.

    now - get back into the gym! :smile:
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    My trainer said it best... Everyone has their first day.

    People are at the gym for themselves not to judge other people, I think its encouraging that you are taking steps towards a better you and keep it it, nothing to be embarrased about!
  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 10,390 Member
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    Use them as your role models...
  • crazymama2two
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    My trainer said it best... Everyone has their first day.

    People are at the gym for themselves not to judge other people, I think its encouraging that you are taking steps towards a better you and keep it it, nothing to be embarrased about!

    i LOVE this...and i agree with all of it....each time you go to the gym you will do better...dont give up!!!
  • skinnylizzard
    skinnylizzard Posts: 460 Member
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    Everybody has to start somewhere and those people in the gym know that more than anyone else!
  • chicnsweet83
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    Instead of feeling embaressed about it, just look at their will as your motivation. You're there to get fit and lose weight right? don't let that stop you...keep going to the gym and pretty soon you'll be where they are. :)
  • NightOwl1
    NightOwl1 Posts: 881 Member
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    The only way to improve is to keep on going and getting stronger. I'm still one of the weaker ones at my gym, but after going for a few months, I've definitely gotten stronger and been able to lift more weights. Not everyone out lifts me now, which is a good confidence booster.
  • justyourtypicalgirl
    justyourtypicalgirl Posts: 136 Member
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    Just go!!
    If you have time to analyze what others are doing at the gym, then you aren't working hard enough.
    And everyone has different fitness goals...and I can promise you that woman was not standing around worrying if you were going to outlift her.
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    My trainer said it best... Everyone has their first day.

    People are at the gym for themselves not to judge other people, I think its encouraging that you are taking steps towards a better you and keep it it, nothing to be embarrased about!

    well said!
  • mixmastermolly
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    I was watching the Biggest Loser a couple weeks ago when the cast went home for 2 weeks. They showed clips of Arthur, the biggest guy ever to be on the show, jogging down the street at home. I totally felt like a jerk for all the times I said I didn't want to run in public because I might jiggle too much or look like a chubby girl jogging. We are our own worst critics. I bet no one else is thinking anything of you being there. You're taking steps to get healthy and you're not going to be able to immediately do all these intense things. That lady probably works out all the time and if she didn't then she wouldn't be able to do that. Do a little extra each time and work at your own pace! I've heard of very obese people going to the track and only being able to make it around a quarter of the track but each day they move a little more until they're running a mile. Don't let others have any control over your health or your success!
  • emorym
    emorym Posts: 344
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    Most of the women I run with are faster then I am. I know quite a few women who are better athletes then I will probably ever be. However go do what you can do and remember you are doing it for "you". That lady didn't start lifting however much weight, she had to work up to it.
  • gretchann917
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    Hi! Do you have any friends or family that have the same/similar goals? Because I find it always helps me if I have a buddy. Otherwise, I put my earphones in, crank the music up as loud as it can go, and ignore everyone else! You are all there for the same reason, regardless your level of fitness. If they are too busy looking at you and what you're doing, then you should be flattered because they are obviously more concerned with you than they are themselves.

    And- all in all, if you still can't get past it, there are plenty of great ways to get a workout in other than at a gym! Get some fitness tapes and a mat and go it alone- in the privacy of your own home :)
  • aks1985
    aks1985 Posts: 27
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    dont look into it that much....my trainers are so friendly they know everyone has their own limits and the best thing is to 'RESPECT YOUR BODY' dont pull a muscle or look insecure. Be confident and slowly and gradually you can build yourself up. I do what's best for me and push myself to MY limit not those around me. Someone may look the 'same size' or 'same age' as you but they may have totally different goals than you.
  • SKP1986
    SKP1986 Posts: 392 Member
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    There are some strength training exercises you could do at home to get your strength up before heading to the gym again. I know because I have the same problem. I hate watching other people work out because I always feel inferior when they are doing SO much better than me. I am embarrassed by my lack of strength and stamina. There are lots of places online where you can find modified exercises, using milk jugs full of water instead of going out and buying weights, cans of soup, push-ups... Things like that will help you build the muscle mass and burn the fat so you aren't so self conscious at the gym.

    Another thing that I've tried is going with a friend in a similar fitness bracket to me. That way I feel like I am on level with SOMEONE. I've also pushed myself to talk to others, even though I am pretty shy.... Just starting with small talk and then explaining a bit about your own fitness journey can sometimes garner new friends as well as a workout pal.

    Just keep reminding yourself that you DON'T have anything to prove to these people. The journey you are taking is for YOU and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for taking steps down that path anyway! Being at the gym and starting out small is just another step. Really, think about it. One day, YOU will be the strong guy that someone is looking at going "wow... I am SO weak compared to him" and then YOU will have the chance to help someone else out! :)
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    I know going to the gym can be intimidating. I'd say you just need to focus on the reason you're going to the gym & not be negative on yourself because of what others are doing.
  • dbosh
    dbosh Posts: 40 Member
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    My first day at the gym I was on the strider for five minutes, thought I would die, and then got on a bike for a few minutes. There were all ages, shapes, sizes of people around who could lift more, run farther, stride faster, etc than I could. My only insight is to keep it up, you are not there for anyone's benefit but your own. Keep going back, for yourself, and you will soon be the one that the new guys are looking at wondering how you can run so fast, jump so high, etc.
  • Akeddie
    Akeddie Posts: 18
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    I love all the advice people have given you.
    I'm right there with you feeling the same way. That's part of the reason I go to curves, no one can tell how much or how little anyone else is doing so you never feel inadequate.
    Just keep going and keep negative thoughts away
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
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    Dont be embarrassed! We all have our starting points. Be proud that youre getting to the gym and that you are making positive choices in your life!! Not everyone gets the courage you have to get out there! You're a rock star and dont you forget it.
  • bigcurt61
    bigcurt61 Posts: 51 Member
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    Hey Charlie,

    Try not to measure yourself against everyone else. Use yourself as reference for measurement. Next time you go to the gym write down the number of pounds, reps, and sets you do for each exercise. Use those numbers as a measurement and you can increase 5-10 lbs slowly as your body gets stronger. Go back and 6 weeks and look at how much strength you've gained!! Also DO NOT neglect your legs; squats, leg press, step-ups, and lunges are crucial. Hitting legs will increase testosterone production (naturally) which will increase your strength. If you have an questions you can send me a message. Hope this helps

    Curt