Distorted Perception... a self-rant

I am right there with you kerrilucko. Although my weight isn't terrible (129lbs) to me I am grossly overweight and cannot fathom how I got to this point. I look in the mirror and all I can see is fat. I know this is not the truth but to me it is. Why is that? I think it is all the ads and all the shows that say you have to be a stick to have people think you look good. It is drilled into us from a very early age and it just keeps getting worse.

Yes, I'm kind of feeling the same way, I have been overweight for 10 years since I had my first baby, through my last (we have 5 kids), and since my brothers wedding July '07 I've lost about 33 pounds, even though my ticker only says 14, I just joined MFP in May. People say they notice, say I look great, but when I look in the mirror I still see fat, scale still says fat to me. I have about 40 lbs. left to go, so that I will be in my healthy BMI. But I wonder and often think when I do get to my goal weight, and I will, what about all the extra skin, stretch marks etc from having 5 kids, will I be happy with that, I will not do any type of surgery to correct anything, don't like hospitals. I just hope that I can be happy with the way I look, since I will be healthier, I think maybe being healthy is so much more important than how you look, because I want to be here for years and years to come for my children. And I agree, I really don't know what a healthy person looks like either, it is so distorted on t.v. and in the magazines. So I wish you luck, and I hear ya, I think we just have to do the best that we can, accept the results and live long happy and healthy lives.

A lot of us struggle with the image in the mirror. Maybe a trip to a good doctor will do you good, a doc that cares and tells you at which weight he beleives (in his professional opinion) that your body will be heathiest, sometimes hearing it from themmakes a difference. Don't beat yourself down, you have done a great job and you ALREADY look great, like a "normal person" (in your words). Eventually your mind will kinda catch up with your weightloss and then you will see what everyone else sees clearly.

Wow-When you put the pictures together like that the difference is shocking! Even though the present-day model would look disgustingly thin next to another current model, but still!

Yeah, I was trying to find the most generalized pictures out there. I know that personally I have had moments when I think I need to look like her. It's sad because a lot of people think that too. It's taken a while but my perception has changed to want to look like the picture of Marilyn, because she looks healthy and happy and gorgeous.

Edit: And Kerrilucko, I think you are probably pretty close to looking like the picture of Marilyn now. She really probably can't weigh less than maybe 140 pounds in that picture. Probably closer to 150. Maybe my perception is way off, but I know that my boobs weigh a LOT. Like, 15 pounds apiece. My husband always laughs because he says, "Well, you don't REALLY weigh (whatever I tell him), because you need to take off 30 pounds for your boobs!" :laugh:

Edit: And Kerrilucko, I think you are probably pretty close to looking like the picture of Marilyn now. She really probably can't weigh less than maybe 140 pounds in that picture. Probably closer to 150.

There's no way Marilyn weighs 140 in that picture! How tall was she?? Man-If she weighs 140, is that what I will look like?

I think she has to weight more 125ish...She looks SO tiny!

Edit: And Kerrilucko, I think you are probably pretty close to looking like the picture of Marilyn now. She really probably can't weigh less than maybe 140 pounds in that picture. Probably closer to 150.

There's no way Marilyn weighs 140 in that picture! How tall was she?? Man-If she weighs 140, is that what I will look like?

I think she has to weight more 125ish...She looks SO tiny!

She's sucking in too. This is a more accurate picture of what she looked like in her early years:



Notice she has a little belly pooch, her arms are thick, and her thighs aren't tiny, and I think she looks even more charming for it. She looks like a real woman to me.

I stick to my 140! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Edit: It also could be because the last time I weighed under 150 pounds, I was about 11. Everybody's body is different, and 140 on me looks much different than 140 on someone else.

Height: 5 feet 5 1/2 inches
Weight: Varied, 115 - 120 lbs.
Measurements: 37-23-36 (Studio's Claim); 35-22-35 (Dressmaker's Claim)

Here we go! :laugh: Who knows how accurate all this is, but I got it from:
http://www.marilynmonroe.com/about/facts.html

Dang-Her waist was tiny!!

I think most women suffer from some sort of image distortion. I have the opposite problem. When I was at my heaviest, I realized that I was heavy but when I looked in the mirror, I saw someone a lot thinner than I really was. It was only when I saw myself in pictures that reality seeped in. Even with loosing the weight, I look in the mirror and see someone slim and then I see a picture and I look the way I thought I looked 70 pounds ago. It is very distressing.

I don't think the weight charts help. I have a large frame and so I should be at the top of the weight range for my height. But if you're even 1 pound over you're in the "overweight" category. Despite the fact that I've lost 70 pounds and dropped 4-5 dress sizes (depending on style), I'm still in the "obese" category. Also very discouraging.

I'm trying really hard to be accepting of myself and my body. When I started working on this, I had a friend that is the size I am now. At the time, I was telling her she looked great and I'd be happy to be her size. Now I'm there, and it's not enough. Women are much too hard on themselves and on each other and we do put too much importance on our size. You're right, we've been bombarded with impossible images since we were girls and it's hard to get past that programming. I think that reassessing physical beauty has to be a part of this lifesyle change. We have to learn to love ourselves in all our imperfections. What I am pleased about is my physical condition. I'm stronger, more balanced, more flexible, more toned than I was before and I find that to be a pleasure.

Kerri -

Just saw your new av!

You look HOT!

Ok i used to feel the same way you do... always would look into the mirrior and see a roll here and a dimple there... and at that point in my life i was anywhere between 130 - 270 pounds ..i was never happy with how i looked no matter my size


I think the problem is that we spend so much time looking at the things about our bodies that we dont like, we forget about the most beautiful parts of our bodies!!!!! Honestly every day i would look in the mirrior and notice all the pooch and rolls and dimples... i never saw the parts of me that stand out to everyone else!!!
I trained mysself to start looking in the mirrior and to start looking for the good things about me...
I started with the most prominent -my eyes- every day i would go really close to the mirrior and inspect them and think about how pretty they were!!! then i moved on to the next body part i liked -my hair- anyways i soon realised that there are so many body parts on me that i truely do like and am thankful for that everytime i looked in the mirrior i wasnt really seeing the bad stuff .... i was noticing all the good....

right now i am 218 pounds i have a bunch of weight left to lose but I can honestly say i love myself and my body for what it is!!

OH Jackeh.....:flowerforyou: You're SO beautiful both inside and out....thanks so much for opening your heart.....you post was beautiful and gives others such hope:smooched:

Ok i used to feel the same way you do... always would look into the mirrior and see a roll here and a dimple there... and at that point in my life i was anywhere between 130 - 270 pounds ..i was never happy with how i looked no matter my size


I think the problem is that we spend so much time looking at the things about our bodies that we dont like, we forget about the most beautiful parts of our bodies!!!!! Honestly every day i would look in the mirrior and notice all the pooch and rolls and dimples... i never saw the parts of me that stand out to everyone else!!!
I trained mysself to start looking in the mirrior and to start looking for the good things about me...
I started with the most prominent -my eyes- every day i would go really close to the mirrior and inspect them and think about how pretty they were!!! then i moved on to the next body part i liked -my hair- anyways i soon realised that there are so many body parts on me that i truely do like and am thankful for that everytime i looked in the mirrior i wasnt really seeing the bad stuff .... i was noticing all the good....

right now i am 218 pounds i have a bunch of weight left to lose but I can honestly say i love myself and my body for what it is!!

I'd truly love to hear what males think of this model.....scary and sad that some (though most likely NOT on this site, thankfully) many would first see her legs and think.........''ohhhhhhhh look at those legs'......hm.....she doesn't happy or well, it must be such high maitenance to keep that body looking that way......I mean no food, probably drugs, purging, laxatives...etc. I don't want to make assumptions though as some are naturally very very slim almost to slim for there own good....and they just can't gain weight............not sure that's the case here.....

The sad part is that I showed these pictures to one of my husband's friends and he said that Monroe looked "fat" and that the model was "really hot".

I promptly punched him in the stomach.

No, I didn't, but I was really disgusted by him. The funny part is, he's overweight. :huh: I don't understand men sometimes.