Distorted Perception... a self-rant

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kerrilucko
kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem, but it's still a problem that kind of worries me. I have lost 45 pounds (yay) but when I look at myself, in the mirror, in photos, whatever, I still see so much fat to lose. I weigh 164 pounds, which is marginally overweight for my 5'6" frame, but I really still see someone who needs to lose about 50 pounds, which I know in my head isn't true.

I know that photos of models don't represent what a woman SHOULD look like. But I don't think I even know what a regular, healthy woman's body should be. I've become really critical of my own body and of other women's bodies and I don't know how to fix this. For so long I tried not to care about how I looked and that seemed to work for me, but before I knew it I was over 200lbs and I'm just not ok with that.

Each time I check in with a new weight I am disappointed because the pounds I have to lose are getting fewer and fewer and I just don't see how 14 more pounds lost is going to make as big of a difference as it needs to. I know I'm so much smaller than I used to be and I know that I'm so much healthier because of it, but I don't feel like I'm making any progress at all with how I see myself.

Is anyone else struggling with issues like these? I used to struggle with anorexic tendencies and this is always how I thought of myself back then. Don't worry, I don't want to go back to that and I have done really well with the whole healthy eating plan. All I really want is for my perception to change. :indifferent:
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  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem, but it's still a problem that kind of worries me. I have lost 45 pounds (yay) but when I look at myself, in the mirror, in photos, whatever, I still see so much fat to lose. I weigh 164 pounds, which is marginally overweight for my 5'6" frame, but I really still see someone who needs to lose about 50 pounds, which I know in my head isn't true.

    I know that photos of models don't represent what a woman SHOULD look like. But I don't think I even know what a regular, healthy woman's body should be. I've become really critical of my own body and of other women's bodies and I don't know how to fix this. For so long I tried not to care about how I looked and that seemed to work for me, but before I knew it I was over 200lbs and I'm just not ok with that.

    Each time I check in with a new weight I am disappointed because the pounds I have to lose are getting fewer and fewer and I just don't see how 14 more pounds lost is going to make as big of a difference as it needs to. I know I'm so much smaller than I used to be and I know that I'm so much healthier because of it, but I don't feel like I'm making any progress at all with how I see myself.

    Is anyone else struggling with issues like these? I used to struggle with anorexic tendencies and this is always how I thought of myself back then. Don't worry, I don't want to go back to that and I have done really well with the whole healthy eating plan. All I really want is for my perception to change. :indifferent:
  • SherryRH
    SherryRH Posts: 810 Member
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    I am right there with you kerrilucko. Although my weight isn't terrible (129lbs) to me I am grossly overweight and cannot fathom how I got to this point. I look in the mirror and all I can see is fat. I know this is not the truth but to me it is. Why is that? I think it is all the ads and all the shows that say you have to be a stick to have people think you look good. It is drilled into us from a very early age and it just keeps getting worse.
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
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    This is a HUGE issue for me. I won't let anyone take pictures of me, etc. When I look in the mirror, I just feel sick to my stomach. Things that help me are instead of focusing on today's standard of beauty, I concentrate on the standards of my body. I will never ever ever look like a supermodel in today's world, because my boobs and hips just WON'T do that. Even if I weighed 100 pounds, I would have curves, that's just the kind of body I have. So I try to concentrate on that idea. I'm not saying it's easy, but I try to do that.

    45 pounds is a big deal! You look great! Try to concentrate on more positive role models. I try to concentrate on 1950s models. Most of them had a little pooch in front, a little extra fat on their arms, and shapely hips and breasts. To take a really generalized '50s icon, here's early Marilyn Monroe:

    marilyn-monroe-4.jpg

    And to take a really generalized modern day model, here's what you would look like if you lost 50 pounds after goal:

    runway_model_ana_anamia_proana_skin.jpg

    What would you rather look like?
  • dolphin7
    dolphin7 Posts: 192 Member
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    Yes, I'm kind of feeling the same way, I have been overweight for 10 years since I had my first baby, through my last (we have 5 kids), and since my brothers wedding July '07 I've lost about 33 pounds, even though my ticker only says 14, I just joined MFP in May. People say they notice, say I look great, but when I look in the mirror I still see fat, scale still says fat to me. I have about 40 lbs. left to go, so that I will be in my healthy BMI. But I wonder and often think when I do get to my goal weight, and I will, what about all the extra skin, stretch marks etc from having 5 kids, will I be happy with that, I will not do any type of surgery to correct anything, don't like hospitals. I just hope that I can be happy with the way I look, since I will be healthier, I think maybe being healthy is so much more important than how you look, because I want to be here for years and years to come for my children. And I agree, I really don't know what a healthy person looks like either, it is so distorted on t.v. and in the magazines. So I wish you luck, and I hear ya, I think we just have to do the best that we can, accept the results and live long happy and healthy lives.
  • NewMK08
    NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
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    Wow-When you put the pictures together like that the difference is shocking! Even though the present-day model would look disgustingly thin next to another current model, but still!

    And I can't believe that people say Marilyn was too curvy and wore a size 12. Yeah, a size 12 back then is a size 4-6 today! I think she looks gorgeous in that picture...I'm adding it to my inspiration pictures! YeeHaw!
  • Vilma
    Vilma Posts: 23 Member
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    A lot of us struggle with the image in the mirror. Maybe a trip to a good doctor will do you good, a doc that cares and tells you at which weight he beleives (in his professional opinion) that your body will be heathiest, sometimes hearing it from themmakes a difference. Don't beat yourself down, you have done a great job and you ALREADY look great, like a "normal person" (in your words). Eventually your mind will kinda catch up with your weightloss and then you will see what everyone else sees clearly. :smile:
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    I completely agree about the model pictures. And of course I don't want to look like a skinny rack of bones, but I just can't imagine being even nearly as small as marilyn monroe is in that photo. I know everyone's body is different, but I just feel like my scale is tricking me. Like when I stand on it it's telling me I've lost when I havn't, even though I know that's silly.

    Thanks guys, it is always helpful to know that other feel the same way I do. Maybe getting healthy just takes some getting used to. Maybe one day soon I'll look in the mirror and realize I'm a picture of health and I shouldn't lose another pound!

    :flowerforyou: :ohwell:
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
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    Wow-When you put the pictures together like that the difference is shocking! Even though the present-day model would look disgustingly thin next to another current model, but still!

    Yeah, I was trying to find the most generalized pictures out there. I know that personally I have had moments when I think I need to look like her. It's sad because a lot of people think that too. It's taken a while but my perception has changed to want to look like the picture of Marilyn, because she looks healthy and happy and gorgeous.

    Edit: And Kerrilucko, I think you are probably pretty close to looking like the picture of Marilyn now. She really probably can't weigh less than maybe 140 pounds in that picture. Probably closer to 150. Maybe my perception is way off, but I know that my boobs weigh a LOT. Like, 15 pounds apiece. My husband always laughs because he says, "Well, you don't REALLY weigh (whatever I tell him), because you need to take off 30 pounds for your boobs!" :laugh:
  • Theresa35
    Theresa35 Posts: 1,102
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    That second model is disgusting! Ewww, how would want to look like that...:noway: I will gladly take a few extra pounds if it means have boobies, a booty and some curves!
  • NewMK08
    NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
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    Edit: And Kerrilucko, I think you are probably pretty close to looking like the picture of Marilyn now. She really probably can't weigh less than maybe 140 pounds in that picture. Probably closer to 150.

    There's no way Marilyn weighs 140 in that picture! How tall was she?? Man-If she weighs 140, is that what I will look like? :love:

    I think she has to weight more 125ish...She looks SO tiny!
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    Ya, I don't know how tall she is but if fshe's about my height, she must weight around 125-130.
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
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    Edit: And Kerrilucko, I think you are probably pretty close to looking like the picture of Marilyn now. She really probably can't weigh less than maybe 140 pounds in that picture. Probably closer to 150.

    There's no way Marilyn weighs 140 in that picture! How tall was she?? Man-If she weighs 140, is that what I will look like? :love:

    I think she has to weight more 125ish...She looks SO tiny!

    She's sucking in too. This is a more accurate picture of what she looked like in her early years:

    capt_nyr11211112241_marilyn_museum_.jpg

    Notice she has a little belly pooch, her arms are thick, and her thighs aren't tiny, and I think she looks even more charming for it. She looks like a real woman to me.

    I stick to my 140! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Edit: It also could be because the last time I weighed under 150 pounds, I was about 11. Everybody's body is different, and 140 on me looks much different than 140 on someone else.
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
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    I don't have any advice for you, except that you are beautiful, and we are always our worst critics. And yes I find I'm critical of other people now too. I mostly just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in these feelings, and I hope someday we will all just find happiness on the inside, and not be so hard on ourselves!:flowerforyou:
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
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    Edit: And Kerrilucko, I think you are probably pretty close to looking like the picture of Marilyn now. She really probably can't weigh less than maybe 140 pounds in that picture. Probably closer to 150.

    There's no way Marilyn weighs 140 in that picture! How tall was she?? Man-If she weighs 140, is that what I will look like? :love:

    I think she has to weight more 125ish...She looks SO tiny!

    She's sucking in too. This is a more accurate picture of what she looked like in her early years:

    capt_nyr11211112241_marilyn_museum_.jpg

    Notice she has a little belly pooch, her arms are thick, and her thighs aren't tiny, and I think she looks even more charming for it. She looks like a real woman to me.

    I stick to my 140! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    She does look bigger here. Still beautiful though!
  • NewMK08
    NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
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    Ya know-It doesn't really matter what she weighs...She looks beautiful in both pictures!! I love having healthy looking role-models like that!
  • NewMK08
    NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
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    Height: 5 feet 5 1/2 inches
    Weight: Varied, 115 - 120 lbs.
    Measurements: 37-23-36 (Studio's Claim); 35-22-35 (Dressmaker's Claim)

    Here we go! :laugh: Who knows how accurate all this is, but I got it from:
    http://www.marilynmonroe.com/about/facts.html

    Dang-Her waist was tiny!!
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
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    Height: 5 feet 5 1/2 inches
    Weight: Varied, 115 - 120 lbs.
    Measurements: 37-23-36 (Studio's Claim); 35-22-35 (Dressmaker's Claim)

    Here we go! :laugh: Who knows how accurate all this is, but I got it from:
    http://www.marilynmonroe.com/about/facts.html

    Dang-Her waist was tiny!!

    It was! I take all of those with a grain of salt, because when's the last time you told the truth about your weight? LOL I know I only tell the truth about mine when I'm on the scale and have no choice. And even then I'm like, "NO! I'm wearing shoes and jeans and an extremely heavy pair of socks and..."

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • lessertess
    lessertess Posts: 855 Member
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    I think most women suffer from some sort of image distortion. I have the opposite problem. When I was at my heaviest, I realized that I was heavy but when I looked in the mirror, I saw someone a lot thinner than I really was. It was only when I saw myself in pictures that reality seeped in. Even with loosing the weight, I look in the mirror and see someone slim and then I see a picture and I look the way I thought I looked 70 pounds ago. It is very distressing.

    I don't think the weight charts help. I have a large frame and so I should be at the top of the weight range for my height. But if you're even 1 pound over you're in the "overweight" category. Despite the fact that I've lost 70 pounds and dropped 4-5 dress sizes (depending on style), I'm still in the "obese" category. Also very discouraging.

    I'm trying really hard to be accepting of myself and my body. When I started working on this, I had a friend that is the size I am now. At the time, I was telling her she looked great and I'd be happy to be her size. Now I'm there, and it's not enough. Women are much too hard on themselves and on each other and we do put too much importance on our size. You're right, we've been bombarded with impossible images since we were girls and it's hard to get past that programming. I think that reassessing physical beauty has to be a part of this lifesyle change. We have to learn to love ourselves in all our imperfections. What I am pleased about is my physical condition. I'm stronger, more balanced, more flexible, more toned than I was before and I find that to be a pleasure.
  • NewMK08
    NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
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    It was! I take all of those with a grain of salt, because when's the last time you told the truth about your weight? LOL I know I only tell the truth about mine when I'm on the scale and have no choice. And even then I'm like, "NO! I'm wearing shoes and jeans and an extremely heavy pair of socks and..."

    "And I have a ponytail holder in my hair, and my earrings are still in, plus I was holding my breath..."
    :laugh:
  • LokiFae
    LokiFae Posts: 774 Member
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    Kerri -

    Just saw your new av! :love: :love:

    You look HOT!

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