Losing weight and having children.

mamareese
mamareese Posts: 1,573 Member
edited September 24 in Health and Weight Loss
So let me start by saying I have two beautiful growing boys who just turned 2 and 4 years old. I realize I'm rather biased but my children are pretty quick. Mommy's little smarties.

So I've been struggling to explain to my oldest why Mommy eats differently than Daddy and the kids. Why my plate is smaller, my meals sometimes different, etc. I realize I'm probably paranoid but with coming from a pschology backround, I try to be extra careful with how I say things to them. I don't want to emphasis that 'Mommy wants to be skinny' or 'Mommy needs to lose weight' But they are also smart enough that I can't say that I don't like what they are having so I fixed myself something else...if I did that I'd be fixing 4 different meals all the time.

The kids usually get a combination of the meals I fix my husband and I. Since he is trying to gain muscle, he needs different foods than I do with trying to lose weight. So I try to balance the two for the growing kids. But it ends up being a lot of questions that I have no problem answering, if only I knew a good way to say it.

Inquisitive children are starting to have questions that Mom can't side step anymore!!

Replies

  • JennAshRose
    JennAshRose Posts: 1 Member
    Mommy and Daddy are different people, and they need different foods. I would take the all bodies are different route :)
  • cmbneeley
    cmbneeley Posts: 160 Member
    would love to hear others' answers to this. i have a little girl who i expect to ask me those questions soon...
  • elzettel
    elzettel Posts: 256
    Rather than tell my son I'm trying to lose weight or diet I explain more about eating healthy. We aren't in a situation where my husband is trying to gain muscle so since I do the bulk of the cooking/shopping we all eat the same foods. My 5 year old loves salad and most fruits. Meats/fish can sometimes be a struggle but I'm lucky that he's laid back enough to give things a try. Losing extra pounds was a huge motivator but it has been a lifestyle change. I'm happy to explain how eating healthy is a good idea regardless of size, shape, age or gender.
  • Cbandelier
    Cbandelier Posts: 217 Member
    You could focus more on the "daddy needs a lot of protein to get big muscles" aspect when you try to explain to the kids, whereas "mommy already has big enough muscles so she doesn't need as much food" or something like that.
  • suzycreamcheese
    suzycreamcheese Posts: 1,766 Member
    you could say mummy is not as hungry as daddy.
  • Belle_Fille
    Belle_Fille Posts: 469
    You could focus more on the "daddy needs a lot of protein to get big muscles" aspect when you try to explain to the kids, whereas "mommy already has big enough muscles so she doesn't need as much food" or something like that.
    this
  • dspearsb
    dspearsb Posts: 186
    I have 2 girls, same ages as your children. We got the book, "The Berenstein Bears and No More Junk Food" from our local library. It explained a lot about eating right and exercising. They enjoyed the book and now my girls (at least my 4yr old) understand why Mommy is eating differently and why they can't have cookies everyday.

    Hope this helps!
  • 6Janelle13
    6Janelle13 Posts: 353 Member
    Is there a way you can both have meals and plates that don't look so different. For instance, my husband loves nachos I will make his and top it with lettuce and such mainly so i'm not feeling jealous as i eat my salad . I'll also have 4 nachos total with a large salad on the side. It is similar but different (and my 5 year old nieces don't really notice). As you said making 4 different meals won't work but if the plates look similar it will be less noticeable. You already said the boys plates are a mix of you and your hubby's so is there a way you two can get what you need while making your plates look more like theirs? You could also try mommy and daddy have different needs form their foods so they eat a little differently. there is nothing wrong with them seeing you and your hubby working on healthy habits and it may make them healthier in the long run.
  • CurriedGrasshopper
    CurriedGrasshopper Posts: 86 Member
    For one, I would suggest everyone use the new smaller plates - Daddy can simply get a second helping to 'make his muscles grow big and strong'.

    When talking with the kids I would focus on "Daddy is exercising to help make his muscles stronger and muscles need lots of nutrition to grow and Mommy is exercising to feel healthier so she can run and swim and play more and needs very healthy food, and kids are growing so they need food to make them healthy AND to help their muscles grow."

    I hope that helps a bit :) I serve the same food to everyone in my house and if my Fiance wants an extra serving a protein because he had a gym day I make sure there is extra :)
  • lesliemk
    lesliemk Posts: 382 Member
    I'm waiting for similar questions to start with our almost 4yr old, but we do all eat on the same plates and we pretty much all eat the same breakfast and dinner. I may occasionally have more veggies, my husband may occasionally have a larger serving of protein--nothing really so obvious that it would cause her to ask. We all exercise as a part of our lifestyle and healthy eating goes right along with that. I'm worried more about the questions like, "Mommy, why do we never go to McDonald's?!"

    I will say though, as a girl I grew up with a mother who was always dieting, working out, obsessing over food, eating nothing, etc... It was not a way to grow up (in & out of Diet Center, Jenny Craig, etc...), b/c I literally believed that all girls just dieted all the time. It's just what women did--I literally knew no different growing up and I think that's sad. I struggled with various eating issues until my early 20's. To this day I believe my Mother is still obsessive about food or her lack thereof. I plan to raise my girls differently... I don't want them to see me always on the scale, eating nothing and working out non-stop. I would just start emphasizing health and drop the skinny. Skinny doesn't necessarily mean healthy anyway. :D
  • myrabarlow
    myrabarlow Posts: 17
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your children at any age see you working to maintain your health. If they are smart as I am sure they are - they may just learn life lessons from watching you! Don't dumb it down for them. Tell them the truth in plain language with clear meaning and short explanation. Then when they get older and have (or not) to work to maintaining their health, they will know that it is something that people need to do. Learning that they need to pay attention from an early age can only benefit them in the future. Oh, and skip the 'baby' talk . . . ALL our kids are smarter than that.
  • think48
    think48 Posts: 366 Member
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your children at any age see you working to maintain your health. If they are smart as I am sure they are - they may just learn life lessons from watching you! Don't dumb it down for them. Tell them the truth in plain language with clear meaning and short explanation. Then when they get older and have (or not) to work to maintaining their health, they will know that it is something that people need to do. Learning that they need to pay attention from an early age can only benefit them in the future. Oh, and skip the 'baby' talk . . . ALL our kids are smarter than that.

    I agree with this. You tell them that you have made mistakes in the past by eating the wrong foods. You must now make things right so that is why you are eating more veggies, etc. I also agree with serving everyone the same thing though. We all eat the same foods in our house. But where Daddy gets a whole chicken breast, I'll get a half or something. And the kids split my other half.
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