If I didn't feel bad enough...

ladybug2020
ladybug2020 Posts: 83 Member
edited September 24 in Health and Weight Loss
As if I wasn't aware enough that I have put on 40 pounds since 2009, today I was told "congratulations on becoming a mama again" and I said "no, just fat" then they said "are you sure"?!?!?! Yes, I'm sure! Ugh. All my weight has gone to my stomach and does make me look pregnant but still....bad way to start the day. Thanks for letting me vent and get it out.

Replies

  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    I got mistaken for a girl few years ago. my moobies ( boobs on a man) made other girls jealous. :bigsmile:
  • therobinator
    therobinator Posts: 832 Member
    Ugh. This is why they teach us as children never to assume anything. People suck. I am sorry. Keep working, though....and you will get to where you want to be.
  • Fat2FitChick
    Fat2FitChick Posts: 451 Member
    I can't sit here and say try not to let it get to you because I know it hurts. Just keep in mind that soon you will be slim and all that belly weight will be gone!
  • JenniferH81
    JenniferH81 Posts: 285 Member
    are you sure???!! wow. normally people backtrack after such an insulting comment. but asking if you were sure, is really something special.....
  • amehrkens
    amehrkens Posts: 162 Member
    I'm sorry someone said that! The exact same thing happen to me inbetween my 3rd and 4th kids, I had actually lost some weight and was feeling good about myself and then it is like a big blow! Hold your head up high!
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
    I was asked when I was due.....it's a difficult question to answer when you're not pregnant. I asked, "Due where?"
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    Oh boy do I feel your pain all to well. Before I had my daughter I had weight in my mid section and was asked all the time "when are you do?" I was like you "not pregnant, just fat. Thanks for pointing it out!" What made it worse was I had been pregnant and miscarried and people asked. (I worked as a cashier and it was the public, they didn't know I had been pregnant. But they asked before that pregnancy as well) Talk about a smack in the face, cuz not only was "just fat" but I had been pregnant and it was lost. Grr. People can be so rude. I NEVER assume some one is pregnant, even if they are holding their 9 month big bellies having contractions! Just because a woman has a little extra in the mid section doesn't mean she's with child. Just hold your head high and keep working at it. :)

    PS: Next time someone ask just say "well from my understanding its about 9 months after you ACTUALLY get pregnant." and walk away! haha
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
    Ugh. I'm sorry :/
    They didn't mean it like that, but they were insensitive. You're doing great, and have every reason to let that motivate you :)
  • guppygirl322
    guppygirl322 Posts: 408 Member
    What an ignorant clod. "Are you sure?" DUH!!! Like you wouldn't know! However bad you may feel about what that jerk said (and you really shouldn't feel bad at all, people will always say stupid things), at least you will never be as dumb and insensitive.
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    are you sure???!! wow. normally people backtrack after such an insulting comment. but asking if you were sure, is really something special.....

    Bahahahahaa!! I know right?!?! People did that to me and its like you want me to pee on a stick right now and show you?! Ugh! I believe the best backtrack you can do is just say "oh I'm sorry for being a moron!"
  • marci355
    marci355 Posts: 292
    I've got one word for that idiot......*kitten*!! What a jerk...
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    I am sorry this happened to you. I NEVER assume someone is pregnant, I made the mistake once in my life at an antenatal swimming class I went to, in the changing room were a lot of pregnant ladies, I was next to a new face and I said hi, my name is Karen, when are you due?......she looked at me in that way and I knew right off I had got it wrong, she said I am NOT pregnant...I said I am sorry, I just assumed being as we are all here for the antenatal class, it's not that you LOOK pregnant....

    arghhhhhhhh
  • Kate_UK
    Kate_UK Posts: 1,299 Member
    (((hugs))):flowerforyou:
  • UpToAnyCool
    UpToAnyCool Posts: 1,673
    :explode: I'm sorry that happened to you! People are just plain rude!

    Don't get discouraged - you're on this site and that's a big first step towards change. I would have answered, 'Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's just my food baby!" :laugh: :wink:

    Best of luck! :flowerforyou:
  • ladybug2020
    ladybug2020 Posts: 83 Member
    Thank you all sooooo much! Eventhough it wasn't the first time I had been asked, it had been a while and each time it just rattles me to the core. I get teary thinking about it and then realize that I'm stressing which doesn't help with weight loss to which makes me more stressed LOL.
  • simplynila
    simplynila Posts: 54 Member
    Ugh. This is why they teach us as children never to assume anything. People suck. I am sorry. Keep working, though....and you will get to where you want to be.

    Amen! :) You can't fix stupid... but you can make them feel bad about their "foot in mouth" disease... jeez.
  • biellas
    biellas Posts: 39
    The same thing happened to me a few months ago. Hopefully that person learned their lesson not to ever assume again. I'm sorry it was at your expense.

    All you can do is stick to your goals and ignore the idiots. :smile:
  • LilOlMe69
    LilOlMe69 Posts: 89 Member
    (((hugs)))
  • ablueskier
    ablueskier Posts: 104
    Ugh, feel the pain. I had at least 10 students ask me last semester when I was due and if I was having a boy or girl :(. Probably didn't help that I always hung out with abpregnant teacher so everyone just assumed were both having babies. I think I have finally beaten it into their heads that it is utterly rude to ever ask a woman that unless she has come out and told you she is pregnant.
  • appleofmyeye
    appleofmyeye Posts: 94
    A comment like that one was what sparked my decision to join MFP! I knew from how my clothes fit that I had gained some weight, because I had started avoiding about half the pants in my closet along with any slim-fitting shirts and dresses. The scale confirmed it for me--but I still wasn't motivated to do something about it. Then an innocent comment lit a fire under my butt. I was teaching one day, and one of my fourth graders asked me, "You having a baby?" But that wasn't all--he put his hand on my belly!! (Which was definitely sticking out, by the way--if I'd actually had a bun in the oven, I think I could've convinced someone I was about four months along...) That was my tipping point. So I downloaded the MFP iPhone app (along with a couple others that I ended up not liking as much), then learned it was a website, too, and the rest was history. I'm almost back to my wedding weight/size, and I definitely don't look knocked up anymore. Just use comments like that as motivation! You are doing great for making this decision to improve your health. :)
  • Mairgheal
    Mairgheal Posts: 385 Member
    I'm always paranoid saying anything to anyone in that respect. This lady who has her child in the same creche as mine, has a huge bump but it took me ages to congratulate her, I was so afraid of getting it wrong! :laugh:
  • UmbraForzare
    UmbraForzare Posts: 137
    I've been asked that before.
    I just smiled sweetly and responded with "oh how embarrassing for you - I'm not pregnant" and watched as their faces fell and they stuttered for reply....They gave up after a few seconds and walked away :laugh:
  • lulu64uk
    lulu64uk Posts: 62
    somebody offered me a seat once thinking I was expecting, I was so embarressed, that I just thanked them for the seat and flopped down in it ! looking back it was funny but didnt feel that way at the time - Chin up x
  • nachoqtpie
    nachoqtpie Posts: 81
    I know that it's not funny... and it's not.. it sucks.. trust me I know!! (My own daughter told me in Old Navy one time when I was searching for a pair of shorts that if I wasn't so fat that I could find some... yeah.. she got a bar of soap for that one...) But... what IS funny.. is I was just watching a movie last night called Wedding Daze or something like that... and in the movie the 2 get on the bus and there is a woman standing there that you assume is pregnant (has the belly and whatnot), and the guy lets her sit down next to his girlfriend. She sees her stomach and says "May I?" And then just proceeds to put her hand on her stomach... and then "feels it kick" so he gets down and puts his FACE on her stomach (which is pretty illogical... who would do that to a stranger?!?! LOL) But anyways... he asks her when she's due and she says "I'm not.... and this is my stop... lemme off... lemme off... lemme off!!!"
    I'm sorry that this happened to you.. just keep pluggin away sugar!
  • Denise6914
    Denise6914 Posts: 176
    Ouch, I know how bad that hurts. That's happened to me twice. Hugs!
  • gertrude13
    gertrude13 Posts: 64
    i have people poking at my "back boobs" at school, and it really hurts my feelings sometimes :( but you know what i'm loosing the back fat and now i look at those days with a smile :)

    just think of this day as one of those moments you will look back on when you lose the weight :) don't let this push you down, instead push forward!
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