how to stop the "I deserve it" mentality

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Whenever I'm faced with a food temptation, I end up thinking " I deserve this because I've worked hard today...I'll be stricter tomorrow". Then, when 'tomorrow' comes, I say the same thing again. I am getting very frustrated with myself. It's easy to say that I just need to hold strong to my willpower, but when the moment actually comes, I always give in. Does anyone have any advice?
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  • skinnyhopes
    skinnyhopes Posts: 402 Member
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    Story of my life.
    I'd love to know what everyone else says.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Whenever I'm faced with a food temptation, I end up thinking " I deserve this because I've worked hard today...I'll be stricter tomorrow". Then, when 'tomorrow' comes, I say the same thing again. I am getting very frustrated with myself. It's easy to say that I just need to hold strong to my willpower, but when the moment actually comes, I always give in. Does anyone have any advice?

    What do you deserve? Guilt? Disappointment? Poor health? Self-recrimination? Jeez, I hope not!

    You deserve love. You deserve pride in yourself. You deserve good health. You deserve to feel good about yourself and your body.

    Maybe looking at it that way will help?
  • PrincessLacey
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    i have this problem too
    ALL the time.
    i want to know what other people say
    0_0 that is me watching xD
  • nseuell
    nseuell Posts: 110
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    Think of it like this - I deserve to feel GOOD about myself- and nothing is going to taste as good as healthy and physically fit feels!
  • davesgirl82
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    Try telling yourself: "Nothing taste as good as being thin feels".

    It's been working for me.
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Not that I can say I always stick to this, but maybe instead of "I worked hard, I deserve this", try "I worked too hard to throw it all away on something that will be gone in 5 minutes".
  • strandedeyes
    strandedeyes Posts: 392 Member
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    Get rid of all temptation in your kitchen and stock it with healthy alternatives. This way, even when the temptation is in your mind, you don't have a choice to give in.

    Once you feel confident in making choices, then bring in small treats but put them in the high cabinet in the back of the shelf so you actually have to work to get it. So far back that you have to ask yourself if its work all that work to get it. If it is, you will burn a little while trying to get it :)

    You do deserve to treat yourself and enjoy life...so don't stress...just make smart choices.
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
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    You DESERVE good healthy, wholesome food that will benefit your body. You deserve not have diabetes and joint pain. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You deserve to have a body that will do anything that you want it to.

    You DON'T deserve to have a painful body that won't cooperate. You don't deserve to be stuck in your fat jeans for the rest of your life. You don't deserve to have to look at clothes and figure out what will hide your flaws... you DESERVE to rock whatever outfit you want because... damn, you worked hard!
  • kathyc727
    kathyc727 Posts: 187 Member
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    Whenever I'm faced with a food temptation, I end up thinking " I deserve this because I've worked hard today...I'll be stricter tomorrow". Then, when 'tomorrow' comes, I say the same thing again. I am getting very frustrated with myself. It's easy to say that I just need to hold strong to my willpower, but when the moment actually comes, I always give in. Does anyone have any advice?

    What do you deserve? Guilt? Disappointment? Poor health? Self-recrimination? Jeez, I hope not!

    You deserve love. You deserve pride in yourself. You deserve good health. You deserve to feel good about yourself and your body.

    Maybe looking at it that way will help?

    AMEN to that!
  • acknan
    acknan Posts: 261 Member
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    I deserve to treat my body well and not fill it with garbage. I deserve to look and feel good and if this won't help me do that, it doesn't deserve to be in my body!
  • kathleennf
    kathleennf Posts: 606 Member
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    I think you have some good answers above!! I have dealt with this for a long time and am finally winning, thanks be to God. I think you have to keep in mind the big picture, and also look at this as an answer to why you are overeating. A lot of us overeat to try to reward ourselves because of something else that we did not like- a hard day at work, or whatever. But that's not a good reason to eat!!

    Another suggestion- find something else to treat yourself with instead of food. A special cup of tea? A bouquet of flowers? A fragrant candle? Bubble bath? Whatever you like that's not food!!
  • kathyc727
    kathyc727 Posts: 187 Member
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    You DESERVE good healthy, wholesome food that will benefit your body. You deserve not have diabetes and joint pain. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You deserve to have a body that will do anything that you want it to.

    You DON'T deserve to have a painful body that won't cooperate. You don't deserve to be stuck in your fat jeans for the rest of your life. You don't deserve to have to look at clothes and figure out what will hide your flaws... you DESERVE to rock whatever outfit you want because... damn, you worked hard!

    AMEN to that too!
  • jenn2782
    jenn2782 Posts: 47
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    This is part of the reason why I am where i am today..I quit smoking and kept telling myself that it was ok cause I quit, i deserved to be rewarded because I quit..30 lbs later (and i was no where near thin to begin with) I'm paying the price..BIG TIME....The only advice I can give is stop and acknowledge what is going on..When you find yourself saying that you "deserve this" think how you feel when you get on the scale and haven't lost or worse GAINED! Or how the next day its going to be even harder to stay on track because you gave into it.

    I try little tricks like force myself to drink another glass of water, read a chapter in a book, anything to get your mind off of it. And sometimes i give into the "reward" and feel like crap about it but i know that there are plenty of other times when i didn't. Its definitely a hard thing to do..i think naturally we think we should be rewarded for doing good but you need to find other ways to reward yourself.

    I hope I helped a little =)
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
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    I have this problem too...
  • emyback68
    emyback68 Posts: 89
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    Wow, these are great posts. I have the same problem, day after day I make an excuse for myself. And then once I do that, than I just quit and think I will be good tomorrow.

    From now on, when i am ready to make an excuse, I :smile: am going to come back here and read these posts to remind myself what I truly deserve. Thank you all on MFP! :smile:
  • NanoReefDiver
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    I'm feeling the self-pity "but I deserve it" right now since I'm sick and have a lot of non-stop school work in front of me. I've been eating junk since I need to go to the store to stock up on healthy food as I just returned from vacation (but again, sick!). Normally I do the whole 'But being thin feels so much better ..." than whatever it is I'm contemplating but it's hard to reason with yourself when you are reaching for tissues and prescription cough syrup! Stuffing myself on tons of low calorie foods (ham, broccoli, ect) so I feel like I couldn't possibly be dieting is also good for getting me out of the 'I deserve it' rut as I don't feel deprived.
  • naebear99
    naebear99 Posts: 73
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    Not that I can say I always stick to this, but maybe instead of "I worked hard, I deserve this", try "I worked too hard to throw it all away on something that will be gone in 5 minutes".

    I REALLY like this answer. For some reason, making it a game has been working for me, mostly, but this is going to make my personal mantra list.

    By making it a game, I mean that I'm constantly trying to stay under my calories like it's some contest, and also trying to constantly up my workout intensity - again, like I'm going for a competition. I LIKE competition, even if it's against a semi-random number, and my own weaknesses.
  • skinnyhopes
    skinnyhopes Posts: 402 Member
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    I should have read this before I ate 2 slices of a 3 layer chocolate fudge cake.
  • crjugrl
    crjugrl Posts: 172
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    I have lots of cravings, but I don't feel like I'm suffering. Even on Weight Watchers or MFP alone- you can eat whatever you want, just stay within your goals. If it's really worth filling that craving to you, make room for it in your food diary or exercise to have some extra calories. Nothing saying you need to eat the whole cake, just have a small slice... (At least that's what I need to tell myself :wink:)
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
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    My friend always says this too me if I say I overate something. I'm like 'Deserve what? To be fat and miserable?'. Then again, she is overweight by a good few stone.

    You have to remember that although you can still enjoy sugar and fat filled foods, you have to make room in your diary for them. Some days I've had to spend extra time working out to burn off something I ate too much off, and I didn't like it! I just feel guilt more and more now if I have any crap, because my hard work exercising isn't as valuable now.