To give up, or not to give up...

shggygrl · March 2011

Hello fellow MFPers. So about 2 weeks ago, I made the decision to become healthy and happy... Unfortunately, most recently, happy has not come along with happy. I am so frustrated that losing weight in a healthy way means I can only lose 2 pounds per week. It just seems like a lot of effort for 2 measly pounds. With a goal to lose 50-60lbs (in my case) or more, how do you keep yourself motivated to keep going? It seems like I will never get there.

And I'm sure if you're trying to lose this much weight you've had a feeling or two like this. What do you do?!

-CJ

sarahs440 · March 2011

I feel the exact same way, and almost posted a topic about this. I have about 35-40 to lose. I started two weeks ago and am down about 5 pounds. My problem is, I wanted to be a size 8 like, yesterday. lol. I obviously know that is totally unrealistic, but I am impatient. I just keep telling myself that this is the third time I have tried to lose. This is the FIRST time I have tried doing it the right way. Not some fad diet. When I did those diets I gained it all back. This website has amazing tools and amazing people that keep me motivated. And I know that I will get to where I want to be, it will just take some more time. Hang in there. Friend request me if you want, we can keep eachother motivated.

mintymurray86 · March 2011

Don't give up! You've done the hardest thing, and that is starting!
I have lost 84 pounds so far, 4 since I found this website and every pound is worth it. Sometimes you feel like its not worth it, but then you will soon look in the mirror and think, oh, I look a bit slimmer there. Or your jeans will feel that bit looser and you will soon need to get smaller sizes. Every little thing gives you such a buzz, and every week you will feel healthier and lighter
Think about how heavy 2 pounds is, of butter for instance. If you lose 2 pounds that week, that's a lot of butter you don't have to carry around with you.
Good luck! x

AggieCass09 · March 2011

break up your 50-60 into 5 or 10 lb goals first off then think hard about WHY you want to lose the weight. Write down these reasons and put em on the fridge where you will see them when you are tempted to eat. Think about how you will look and feel when you lose that weight and all the energy you will gain. Try to slowly incorporate exercise into your daily routine...just 10 minutes is good to start and do something you enjoy. Honestly, it feels too good being healthy to ever go back, you'll realize this too

Good luck!

baisleac · March 2011

My thoughts on the matter:

Don't diet to lose weight. Make healthy lifestyle changes. The weight may or may not come off, but you're still healthier at the end of it.

rskidmore · March 2011

I have felt this way too. I've decided to only weigh myself once a month. I know people say you should weigh yourself once a week on the same day, but I tend to obsess over it. Weighing once a month will produce larger numbers which will keep me motivated even if it was only one or two pounds a week. 8 or 10lbs a month sounds better to me than 2lbs a week! Just find what works for you and stick to it.

godroxmysox · March 2011

Don't give up! I was having some of the same issues when I first started. Part of my problem was depression over losing my father in September. I talked with my doctor and she put me on some medication (she called it a mood-stabilizer, but I call them depression meds), along with stressing to me how unhealthy my weight was. Looking back at pictures from high school is what really keeps me motivated. I graduated only 6 years ago, but I have put on almost 70 pounds in those 6 years. I was at my heaviest weight ever. It is rough, but once the pounds (and inches) start coming off, it will seem more worth it. I made sure to not purchase a scale for my home. I can only weigh myself when I go to the gym. Also, I only weigh myself on Fridays & I measure every other Friday. Weighing yourself every day or even every other day can really be discouraging. I find it better to look at the progress you've made in a week, rather than in only a couple days. Once you get into the habit of counting calories and working out, it will get much easier and you will begin to do it without even thinking about it. The forums on here can be very helpful and encouraging. I wish you the best of luck!

beckyhope · March 2011

I think the healthiest way to get the weight off and actually keep it off is through only losing about 2 pounds a week. I know that number seems so small in comparison to the ultimate goal but you're changing your lifestyle, your long-term habits and in order to get the weight loss as well as maintain it in the long run you're going to need to take it slow. Definitely set yourself some short-term goals as mentioned above. Good luck and don't give up!

therobinator · March 2011

DO. NOT. GIVE. UP!

The weight didn't get put on to you overnight, and it can't come off that fast. You made the first step, coming here, and that was the hardest part. I know we can all feel impatient something (me, especially), but change just doesn't happen as fast as we want it to.

You are here to start a new lifestyle, a new way of eating....and even when you reach your weight goal (however long that takes), it's not over....at that point you will have learned a better way of being, and you will have that knowledge (and pride) for the rest of your life.

Go get 'em!

aranchmom · March 2011

My thoughts on the matter:

Don't diet to lose weight. Make healthy lifestyle changes. The weight may or may not come off, but you're still healthier at the end of it.

Thats awesome if you have that kind of priorities, unfortunately, some of us (most of us?) wouldn't get healthy if we didn't have the motivation of losing weight while doing it! :laugh:

SueInAz · March 2011

break up your 50-60 into 5 or 10 lb goals first off then think hard about WHY you want to lose the weight.

Most of us have a reason we are losing weight and that end goal is important, even if it seems like it'll take forever. Smaller intermediate goals (at my work we call then "inchstones" as opposed to milestones) are a great idea. Set up 5 or 10 pound goals every few weeks. Then give yourself a reward (not food related!) when you reach these smaller goals. Buy yourself something you've been wanting or do something special. Write down the goals and corresponding rewards and post them somewhere you will see them every day. (You'll notice some in here have put them into their signatures.) It will keep you motivated and moving in the right direction.

Good luck and keep with it!

debbiemacfarlane · March 2011

You are exactly where I was by week three. On that week I was starting to lose the feeling of wanting to do this. I have 89lbs to lose and yes I feel I will never there.

I typed out a blog on MFP and basically talked myself back into refocusing. I had gained 3lbs back that week and since I hadn't lost a lot of weight by then i WAS DEFEATED. I tried to justify why I wanted to lose weight and made every excuse under the sun that I didn't have to do and I would feel fine about myself. The honest part was ... that this time I had started this journey for myself only and that meant I was only letting me down. After blogging out all my feeling I took a deep look at what I was doing to lose weight. I wasn't working out as I could have been... Actually the week I gained the 3lbs I didn't work out at all. It was like I was testing the system... Did I really have to workout to lose weight even if I was eating really well. Well I found out the answer to that was yes. For me anyway and my body. Other people may not have too.

I started changing my thoughts slowly that I was emotionally ready to take on this challenge and change in my life. I made my mini goals. I challenged myself each week... "ok this week three lbs" and then I would work out to make sure I hit that goal. I had to learn to be flexible around my time of the month as I usually gained a pound or lost nothing. The following week weight was usually a bigger one so you learn to cope with the ups and downs. I made a longer goal of two pounds in two months. I made that goal. I have made an unrealistic goal at first of 39lbs in 12 weeks. I had to adjust that. It was ok because I now and starting to see the change in myself. I feel stronger physically and some of my old clothes are starting to fit again. I feel happier and positive I can do this. I have gone through my clothes and got rid of all the clothes I will not wear again. That is how positive I am that I am never going back.

Adding friends to MFP helped me out quite a bit. I was registered on here but was still kind of doing it alone. I started to add people and I found motivation through them. Seeing them workout every day made me want to post my exercise as well.

I am very happy that I continued and didn't give up. You can do this too. I honestly hated exercising. I groaned for the first month. Now I actually have days when I am excited to work out. Not everyday of course .... lol. Good luck and I wish you all the luck.... Add me as a friend if you wish

mvonk1016 · March 2011

I'm right there with you. I am working on loosing 75#s. It helps to give yourself "mini goals" to work up to your big goal. For instance, in 1 month I want to have lost 10#'s I make that my mini first goal and then have some kind of reward for when I do make it to that point, I havn't decided what it is going to be yet.

Another thing I did is I chose to structure weight loss and my fitness around loosing 1# a week, and if I loose more great! The reason for that is I looked at the numbers and was overwhelmed. I wasn't going to be able to eat anything!!

I knew I wouldn't survive, and for that matter no one around me would either.

In starting small I have been inspired by the 6#s I have lost in the first 2 weeks, it has helped me keep going, when I have wanted to give up this week. I hope this is some help and don't give up! :happy:

megteg · March 2011

The thing is...you will get there if you don't give up! If you don't keep at it, nothing will change, and you won't feel any better. If the 2lbs a week doesn't make you feel proud enough, (which is should, any loss a week is motivating!!) try setting other health-related goals that you can focus on. Try working up to running a mile, or lifting a certain amount of weight. Even if you aren't losing weight as fast as you like, you will feel different and amazing if you reach fitness goals! Focus on feeling a better, stronger, healthier, and more durable person - that's what the whole point of losing weight is! And actually, the slower it goes the more likely you will be to stay healthy the rest of your life

l3ugjuice · March 2011

I just started recently, too.

I'm keeping myself motivated for this in the same manner I did when I quit smoking (cold turkey) two years ago: by focusing on the tree rather than the whole forest. I quit smoking one cigarette at a time, thinking about NEVER EVER SMOKING AGAIN! was depressing and if I'd have focused on that I would not have made it through even one day. So I quit by waiting 10 minutes to light a cigarette, that 10 minutes became 20, which became an hour, which became a day, which became a week, which became a month, and has now become two years.

So I'm doing the same thing with my weight loss. I'm giving myself smaller goals and trying to focus on those rather than the big picture. I need to lose over 100 lbs, if I expected to see that every time I stepped on the scale...I'd go nuts.

I started at 305 lbs two months ago, I'm down to 277 (as of last Friday). I dont weigh myself every day and fret over what the scale says, or doesnt say. I just weigh once a week, and I really only do that to keep track. I try to focus on my diet one craving at a time, one day at a time...and that works pretty well for me. I set short term goals (like: I'm going to make 5 miles on my elliptical in 45 minutes today, 5.5 miles in 45 minutes by the end of the week, etc) and focus on those.

When I need more motivation, I read these boards. Mostly the success stories. If that doesnt work, I think about my daughter and the lesson she will learn from seeing me stick to it and lose the weight. I also try to remember the selfish reasons, how much fun it will be to be active again. How much I'll enjoy going for a hike with my wife without having to stop and sit down every 5 minutes, things like that.

Also an added bonus: the endorphin rush from exercising is addicting, too

. Two months ago my elliptical machine was my nemisis. Now? I have daydreams about using it while I'm at work. Pretty sad I know, but true!

kettlewitch · March 2011

The time will pass regardless. I've felt like this in the past and as I had over 100 lb to lose it just seemed like such a mountain to climb that I couldn't see past my next Friday night without wine and takeaway. The last time I felt this way was when I started a diet in January 2009. Seems like yesterday and yet two years have gone past since and if I'd just aimed for 1 lb a week I'd be at goal now. 10 weeks ago I had 133lb to lose and today I have 94.

ubabe1 · March 2011

Healthy and Happy...you said that so remember those reasons when you get frustrated. Do you just want to get skinny?? Well, you can starve yourself or take pills if you want that! Your path to better health and overall happiness is not going to come in a blink of an eye...it will be a slow and sometimes painful process. If you really want it bad enough, and I think you do...you will stick to the best laid plan for weight loss...and that is...eating healthier foods, smaller portions and exercising daily in some way. I hope that you will follow this path and stay on it for life. Everyone needs encouragement, applause and sometimes a swift kick in the behind!! Thats what we're here for. Add me if you'd like. I'll stay on your case!

JennS19 · March 2011

I have to say what my Weight Watchers leader always says, you didn't put the weight on over night, it's not going to come off over night either"

Stick with it, while it sucks that it takes a while, there might be some weeks you lose more than others, but along your journey you'll learn a lot and change as a person. Don't give up.

shggygrl · March 2011

Thank you so much to each and every one of you that responded to my post. You all have such encouraging words and valid advice. You are right. It took me over a year to put this weight on and it might take just as long to take it off. Each pound lost is a step closer to my ultimate goals of healthy and happy. Those of you who mentioned mini goals, I am working on that now, along with fitness goals. I have to say I'm actually looking forward to this.

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm not giving up, and that is partially because of the support you have provided me with.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

I will reach my goal. No matter how long it takes. I wish all of you the best on reaching your own goals as well. And kudos to those of you who are doing it the healthy way.

Take care & See you around.
CJ

To give up, or not to give up...

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