Doing This the Right Way

Hi. My name is Rachel. In 2007, I said goodbye to a four year struggle with bulimia. My unhealthy perception of food, exercise, my body, and even myself as a person has been a little harder to beat, though.

I eventually learned how to stop purging, but I did not stop binging. And while bulimia, unlike anorexia, is not known to cause significant weight loss, I quickly began to gain weight--about 30 pounds in three months--when I no longer vomited everything I ate.

Somehow--really, through the grace of God--the weight started to slowly come off. I am no longer overweight. And so, someone might wonder why I am here...doing this. I am not here to lose weight. I am here to become healthy. I learned how to eat without purging, and then I learned how to eat without binging. I have not, however, learned how to eat healthfully and exercise without becoming obsessive...dangerously, scarily obsessive. Whenever I give ANY attention--even with good intentions--to food, exercise, and my body, I feel myself drifting back to former ways. In an effort to avoid that haunted place, I do not give any attention to those things, even the attention they deserve. I want to become healthy. I want to BE healthy, body and mind. I am using this site as a tool to keep myself mindful, grounded, and accountable. And maybe, I can encourage someone else along the way.

Now please allow me, I must give credit to whom credit is due: without the grace of my Heavenly Father, without the compassion and sacrifice of my Savior, Jesus Christ, I would not be where I am today. I submit this yet again unto Him, but I will do my part, too.