PLEASE HELP, I'M DESPERATE :(

NY152
NY152 Posts: 2
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
For years I have struggled with weight ... for about 20 years now !!! I really want to change my lifestyle !!! I want to shed the extra weight (about 45 pounds), get fit, and eat healthy ... I just don't know anymore what to do, where to begin, or how to make it work for me. Let me tell you a little bit about myself so you can understand what the problem is:

I'm a mom of two girls (1 and 4). I work fulltime (often more than that) outside the home and so does my husband. We have no babysiting help whatsoever since all of our family lives overseas and we don't really like leaving our girls with anybody else, even for short periods of time. We usually wake up at 6, leave the kids at daycare between 7:30 and 8 am so that we can be in the office before 9 am. We work non-stop (no time for sit-down lunch, we eat at our desks while completing assignments) until 5:30 pm an promptly leave to pick up the girls before 6 pm. We often drive home with two very hungry, very tired, screaming girls so we just pick up something to eat on our way home. It is usually chinese, burgers, greek food, or something from Applebee's. After finishing diner, we give the girls a bath, put their PJs on, comb their hair, brush their teeth, and give them their corresponding medicines. If we are lucky, the girls are in bed before 8:30 pm and then they want to pray, read books, sing songs, and cuddle until they fall asleep. By then, it'd be 9:30 pm or 10 pm (sometimes even 10:30 pm). Then is when Daddy and Mommy work starts ... we pick up the dinner table, wash the dishes, do laundry, prepare bottles and lunch boxes for the next day, etc. ... and then we work some more if we have pressing deadlines :( In conclusion it is virtually impossible to go to bed before midnight ... and this is our routine day after day after day ...

I don't know if this is common ground for other moms of young kids who work fulltime outside the home, but I don't seem to find a minute of the day ... any day of my life ... to even think about the food that I'm going to put in my mouth, much less talk about finding any amount of time to exercise. I don't even have cable at home since I just don't find the time to sit down and watch TV no matter how short the show may be ... I don't listen to the radio, don't have time to post pictures of my girls on facebook or make a print for my desk ... our christmas pictures are still in my digital camera !!!! I can't even find time to call my family overseas and let them know that I'm alive !!! I'M COMPLETELY DESPERATE :sad:

If anybody out there is going through the same situation and have been able to figure out a way to incorporate weight management to a CRAZY lifestyle, PLEASE let me know how you did it ... I would really like to succeed this time. I don't think I can take yet another failure.

Thanks!

Replies

  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    I'm not a parent so I hope some other folks will respond with better ideas since they'll know what you're going through...but the one thing I do that helps me is that I always prepare my lunch the night before (as well as put out a bowl and cereal, etc. for breakfast).

    Maybe you and hubby could trade off making yourself healthy lunches at night while making the children's food and bottles?
    Maybe carry baggies of quick snacks in the car for the kids to eat on the way home? (goldfish, cheese, raisins, pretzels, etc)
    As for exercise...walks with the kids on the weekends, play with them at the park...include them so whatever you're doing to get healthy doesn't make you feel like you're taking time away from them...

    feel free to add me as a friend--I will do my best to give you support :)

    Ellen
  • KickassYas
    KickassYas Posts: 397 Member
    wow. i mean wow. sounds like what you really need is a deep breath.

    what photogrrl suggested is probably the most logical. i know its hard, but look for quick and easy cook at home meels that could be made the same amount of time that you are sitting in a drive thru or takeout parking space. this would be good for everyone because making enough for leftovers gives you lunch for the next day and your kids are eating less processed food which is healthier for them. snacks are a godsend. if you are near a target, archer farms makes snacks fruit snacks planters nuts anything sans salt but with easy carry so you can just grab and go. sometimes snacking will also help with the stress when its healthy.

    also... i don't know you but honestly at some point you're going to have to re-evaluate whats going on. that type of schedule is extremely hard not only on the body but the mind as well.

    i really hope it gets better soon and good luck! we're here if you need support :)
  • heartpdx
    heartpdx Posts: 97 Member
    i can sympathize with this high paced lifestyle...and here are the things that have worked to help me.

    1. switch off household chores (one night on one night off) to take time out for yourself to mediate, relax, etc. stress can really help pack on the pounds.

    2. prepare foods as a family on the weekend for the week....and if you need to take them with you so that they are there when you pick up the kids. the time it takes to stop off and grab a bite could be used for an impromptu picnic, or as a way to get home faster and squeeze in a quick ten minute work out. plus, your kids are young enough that you still are able to teach them good eating habits that will last a lifetime--and that should definitely be a priority...because the time savings and cost savings in the long run are worth it. preparing all your meals for "home cooked" to go foods is also really, really good for the budget.

    3. ten minute, five minutes, whatever you have to give---little workouts throughout the day can add up to the recommended 30-60 minutes/day. it might be as simple as parking your car really far away from the office, or forcing yourself to take a fifteen minute "lunch" break to get away from the desk. i know its hard, but trust me your productivity at work will improve!

    4. routine and organization really helped me get control of a hectic schedule so that i can begin to focus on my health. i found i wasted a lot of time on daily tasks/chores because i didn't preplan.

    5. an extra half hour in the morning, too (not every morning even!) can also help to squeeze in a workout or prepare healthy foods for the day.

    in a nutshell, what has been working for me (in all aspects of a busy life) has been routine, organization and preplanning. you will save time, money, and make healthier choices which will in turn, lead to weight loss. the toughest part is accepting that as much as we would like it to be instant, weight loss/management and a healthy lifestyle doesn't happen overnight. but fortunately, it is cumulative (just like bad habits are)...which means that little changes can add up!

    good luck!!!
  • girlofsun26
    girlofsun26 Posts: 140 Member
    What about on the weekends prepare your dinners for the week? Dedicate one day or night to cooking 5 meals and freeze them so all you have to do is pop them in the microwave and they are ready to eat..Dance! Even if its just for 5 minutes pick up those babies and dance with them! Do it while the bath is filling up..that way you get a little cardio in while getting mommy and baby time in..:) I agree with the above poster..have you or hubby make your lunch as the other makes the kids..or while one cleans up the table the other gets to make the family lunches..When you lay down to go to sleep do a couple leg lifts while laying in bed..:) Anythings better then nothing!
    I hope this helps!!! Good Luck! I know you can do this!!!
  • FLYing2011
    FLYing2011 Posts: 7 Member
    It's all about preparation. First you need to get yourself a crockpot. It's easy to prepare healthy meals without spending hours in the kitchen. Themeal will be ready when you walk in the door. You can set it at night or like I do in the morning. I precut the veggies and stuff the night before.

    My second suggestion is on weekends make double and freeze one part. I do this when we grill meats over the barbeque or when making taco meat or spaghetti meat. That way when I am in a bind I can take out something I have labled in the freezer and it is waiting for the microwave when I get home.

    It can be done! I am in the same boat as you. My family lives four states away and I have three children. Mine are no longer as young as yours but I do understand. if you want to be around to see your kids you have to make yourself a priority. I wake up before the kids and get in my workouts 20 minutes at a time. I go to bed 20 minutes later and get a workout in. I take the kids places like I did today (to the rodeo) where I can get in a workout by just walking. When they are at practice I go and walk around the track.

    It can be done! I usually eat at my desk and have only 30 minutes, most of the time it is interrupted. I pack my lunch everyday and choose healthy things for snacks. Sometimes lunch is a piece of fruit and a fiber bar but at least it's not french fries.

    It can be done! Pack a car snack for the kids for the ride home. This way their not starving when you walk in the door. Pack some car activities that are special for the car. Maybe a special story or fun game to look for colors, shapes or letters outside in the neighborhood. This will make the ride fun and less stressful for everyone.

    Plan! Plan! Plan! It seems like it will take up too much time, but in the long run it's the best thing you can do for your family.

    I hope this blesses you. Remember it can be done!
  • Blakes_Mommy
    Blakes_Mommy Posts: 12
    Oh honey I feel your desperation. I'm also a mom and I get the crazy schedule thing, I do. But if you are serious about trying to lose weight I'm sorry to say but I think there needs to be some sort of lifestyle change made. Whatever changes you do make need to be sustainable.

    Photogrrl had some good suggestions for some smaller changes you could make. Planning ahead is crucial and while I know you probably think you have no time to make more lunches, etc. you need to find the time somehow. One thing I like to do is cook on the weekend a couple of things that give me leftovers, or something I can make ahead and throw in the oven when I get home. Have you ever tried a slow cooker? It's awesome coming home to dinner already made.

    Good luck.
  • Lorrie7195
    Lorrie7195 Posts: 14
    You're living my life!!! We are constantly on the go too - even now with having college age, high school age and elementary school age children. One life saver that helped us to eat healthy during crazy times like this - slow cooker. I would put the meat and veggies in with water and spices and guess what? Our need to stop at take out ceased! It was so welcoming coming home and smelling the aroma of a home cooked meal that we weren't even home to cook! All we have to do is wash up and serve! When you pack the children's lunch, include the extra ones for the drive home and label it for the day care (it won't hurt to let them know these are for the drive home) - that way it will be refrigerated whether it's fresh fruit, veggies, pretzels or whatever your babies will be satisfied with. Also, make clean up time a play time as well. Not only will you teach the babies to keep tidy, but you can definitely make a great game of it (the 1 year old may not be able to do much, but if dance and song are added to any activity, they enjoy even that time with parents). You're not alone, I definitely have and still am there! You can do it though...giving a shout out was the first step. We can journey together!
  • monicaP413
    monicaP413 Posts: 165
    Wow! I am really sorry you are struggling so much. I am a mother of a 2 year old and work full time. I drop my daughter off at her sitters at around 8:30a and work till 5. I pick up my daughter at 5:30 and then I go home and cook. I make really easy stuff like noodles and sauce or chicken, rice and vegetables. I find that eating healthy is easier to cook than eating junk or other stuff. I had to make huge adjustments though. I learned, only recently how to cook healthy and find it's a lot easier. I make big batches so there are left overs for a few days. My daughter runs around while I cook. We eat, take a bath, read, pray and then I turn off her lights by 8pm. I then have my time to read, sew, work out, hang out with the hubby or whatever. I am not a great cleaner, but have made it a habit to do 20 -30 min in the morning. You can do that at night, just take 30 minutes and clean up. If there is more to do, leave it and have some you time. I have to have me time. Please feel free to message me if you want. I understand how hard it is to have so much to do. I don't get much help from the hubby around the house, and I'm not a great house cleaner, as I said before, but somehow we manage. We have a house cleaner come every other week, and I wish it were every week, but it helps so much! Maybe on your lunch you can plan your meals. If you want easy healthy recipes, I can give you some.

    I hope this helps and I hope you get a bit of a break. You deserve it. And you need your sleep. You are less likely to lose weight if you are not sleeping enough.
  • owlwomyn
    owlwomyn Posts: 50 Member
    Do you have a crock pot? Many healthy meals can be prepared in very short time the night before and refrigerated. Plug it in before you leave for work and dinner is ready when you walk in the door. Prepare healthy lunches the night before also. Take a cooler in the car with fruit, drinks and healthy snack bars for the kids for the ride home.

    An excellent crock pot item is turkey breast (bone in or out) 4-6lbs. and then you have great meat for lunches left over too! Check out the turkey breast recipie at : http://crockpot365.blogspot.com I use that site alot. The turkey is amazing!!

    You can put sweet potatoes in the microwave (done in 6 minutes) Add some frozen veggies and you are done!. Some of the recipies already have the veggies, like the pot roast.

    You sure are a busy family! I guess the best way for you to get exercise is walking with the kids as much as you can, or riding bikes. You can get a baby seat for the little one if you don't already have one. If you don't have bikes you can get some good used ones on craigs list.

    Welcome to MFP. It's a great place for support. There are many wonderful people here to help you on your journey. Feel free to add me as your friend if you like!
  • AnitaAntone
    AnitaAntone Posts: 177 Member
    It can be done if you want it bad enough to do the work. I exercise as part of play time(tossing ball ,walking pet,silly dancing,games,soccer,etc.), 15-20min , with son in evening. It would be preferably if i cooked more during work week,but not always possible so I did a little looking at my favorite stops to eat websites and found better choices to save calories and keep diet/nutrients varied. Applebees made this easier with 500 calorie dinner choices marked on menu , for fast food chick fil a chicken sandwich with side salad instead of fry has become a family fave . Started purchasing 100 calorie packs at grocery store, and meal substitutes bars,shakes for my working lunch and snacks to cut a little more. "eat this, not that" book and website gave me even more good choice substitutes for shopping and eating out! excellent resource and has done the time consuming reading labels that was to hard to do during shopping. and of course this site and forums has been my most vital resource for me! I had to change for me,my health, and to keep my son from learning my own bad habits!
    I have failed at getting healthy for long term in the past but it is NOT my future. I'm putting in the effort this time and not giving in when its been a hard day or I if i make a bad choice. I get i've got to do the hard work for the long term to get what i want. its hard but feasible. And I want it Bad Enough to do the work Whatever takes this time! If you do , you will get this done, Good Luck and i offer any support i can give!

    How bad do you want it?!

    3 months in 35 lbs gone! and blood pressure down from 140/80 to 120/70! WOO HOO!
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    Please please friend me... please. I am a mom of 5, ages 8, 8, 5, 2 and 8 months. Girl, I have got a system down pat and our routine is on lockdown! I will be happy to help you with ideas, suggestions, and resources that work for us. I would type it all here but it would probably take me 3 days bc I am laying in bed on my bo-bo phone that has basic 1980s Internet... lol I was once in your shoes then I took control of every aspect in my life and turned everything into a positive outcome. Good luck and send me that request please!
  • heartpdx
    heartpdx Posts: 97 Member
    one more thing i thought of...if you tally the receipts from the money you spend a week eating out against any increased grocery bills, you will probably find that you are saving at a minimum a hundred dollars a week.

    with those savings you could easily afford to treat yourself to a weekly cleaning service. that would give you the time to focus on spending quality time (and hopefully active) with your family.

    the other thing i thought to add was that your husband really is your best ally. once you are honest and open with him about your concerns and goals, he can help you to figure out what steps you need to take to make a change.
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