no self confidence..

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karylee44
karylee44 Posts: 892
in Motivation and Support
I have recently lost 32 pounds, gone from a size 16 pant to a size 10. But every time i look in the mirror.. i see the SAME person. FAT. I can't seem to get myself to see weight loss.. i keep hoping that the more i lose, then i will finally look thin.. but i still see the same fat person..

any help on getting my self confidence back after being fat for so long....

Replies

  • randi50
    randi50 Posts: 112
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    (((hugs))) I have a really low self esteem etc so I know how that is. I am losing it this time for good and hope that I am happy with my results. Have you but before and after pics up side by side? I bet that would show you how much you have lost and may help your self image
  • Charrisse
    Charrisse Posts: 163
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    Im exactly the same. Since my heaviest weight, Iv lost of 40 lbs now, but I still feel like Im fat. I dont see me as thin, even though my 8's are lose now.
    I dunno. I hope I know when enough is enough.
  • chrish1981
    chrish1981 Posts: 156
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    First, it's AMAZING that you've lost the weight, so be proud of yourself!

    Hold up your old pants to yourself. Put them on and watch them fall to the floor because you're too skinny for them anymore!

    And do "before/after" pics side by side. I've lost 1 pant size and I see a difference in me. I can't IMAGINE how much of a difference you should be able to see.

    You've made progress. Embrace it and be proud. So many people can't do it, but you did!!
  • asallen7
    asallen7 Posts: 301
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    It is my belief that if you don't like yourself fat, you will still not like yourself thin. You have to embrace who you are as a person--not just how you look, but who you really are. If you you are happy with that person, then you will just be working on the exterior to make it reflect who you are internally. If you need to work on your inner self, then no amount of weightloss is ever going to change that. Don't put limits on yourself saying you'll be happy when you're skinny. Work on building up your mind and your spirit and you will like yourself regardless of how you look.
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
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    I have to agree to do before/after pics. Also, just give it some time! I know I lost about 25 pounds years ago (down to the lowest weight I'd been in years) and I didn't feel like there was a difference at all. Now, I can look back at pictures and see that there really was a difference in the before and after. Trying to get back there and then keep going! I think that it is tough to see change in ourselves because we get used to how we look... I've had the same issue with gaining weight and not noticing a difference.
  • liberty741
    liberty741 Posts: 122 Member
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    I am so sorry to hear that you feel this way because I feel the same way at times. I can get very down on myself and have very low self esteem. My advice is to learn to love yourself at ANY weight or size, whether it is a size 16 or 6. You are a beautiful and worthy individual at any size. I have to tell myself this everyday. Look in the mirror and find one thing you like about yourself. For example, I like my hair. It is curly and unique. But sometimes, I hate my hair and cannot even say that. So I will think, okay well I like that at least I am HEALTHY. I have a body that works. I can see, hear, touch, etc ... my body isn't failing me there. I am lucky. EVen if you have to start out that small, it's worth it. Also, talk kindly to yourself even if you don't believe what you are saying. Eventually you will start to believe it and feel better! Good luck!
  • Norty7
    Norty7 Posts: 9
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    It is my belief that if you don't like yourself fat, you will still not like yourself thin. You have to embrace who you are as a person--not just how you look, but who you really are. If you you are happy with that person, then you will just be working on the exterior to make it reflect who you are internally. If you need to work on your inner self, then no amount of weightloss is ever going to change that. Don't put limits on yourself saying you'll be happy when you're skinny. Work on building up your mind and your spirit and you will like yourself regardless of how you look.


    Wow, I never really thought about it like that but you are so right!
    Thanks for the great insight :)
  • eddieharrisjr
    eddieharrisjr Posts: 21 Member
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    Remember that the fat is not who you are. Outward appearance is nothing more than a book cover, the "real" you is comprised in the pages of your book, on the inside. You have to get to a point where you are happy with you, the "real" you. You can gain weight, lose weight, change your hair color, buy new clothes and shoes....those things accessorize you, but they don't make you who you are or who you have the potential to become. See yourself as viable and someone who is just as great as the next person, someone with unlimited potential and something to offer. Often times helping others, helps you feel better about yourself in the end, because you are doing something greater than and outside of yourself, so it takes the focus off what you feel that you lack.

    Eddie Harris Jr, CWC
    Certified Wellness Coach, Lifestyle and Weight Loss Specialist
  • eddieharrisjr
    eddieharrisjr Posts: 21 Member
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    Plus...you need to celebrate your accomplishments thus far. You've done well. We are always our own worst enemy, but also our greatest cheerleader and champion.
  • daves1grl
    daves1grl Posts: 26
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    It happens a lot to people who struggle with weight. I recommend researching information on how to improve your body image. Unfortunately distorted views of our bodies can lead to eating disorders. That 94lb girl may see her body the same as the 200lb girl. I understand because I used to struggle with that a lot. Weight loss CONTRIBUTES to our happiness and self confidence, but can't MAKE us happy and self confident!
    By the way, good job on your weight loss!

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