At the risk of........

kettlewitch
kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
getting myself into trouble, I would like to respond to a recently deleted thread regarding alcoholism. Alcohol has been at the root of my weight problems. I drink, then I eat then I eat when I'm hungover. I'm not an alcoholic because I don't drink 24/7, I don't need alcohol to get me out of bed and I can hold down a job and function without falling on my face. But I am an alcoholic because when I'm stressed it's what I do, and when I want to relax it's what I do, and when I have a hard week its my reward for it being Friday.

I wasn't offended at all by the post, in fact I had valid points and experiences to share and it's a shame I couldn't do that

Replies

  • Luckymam
    Luckymam Posts: 300
    But that's where it starts. I can say that, in a non-judgemental - daughter of an alcoholic way x
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    Bump
  • darling_nickie
    darling_nickie Posts: 117 Member
    I know compared to some my life experiences may not amount to much but I agree with Luckymam. If you know its something you go to for stress and to cope, be careful...its a dark and disturbing road to head down and a hard one to come back from. My mom is in the state hospital for downing almost a gallon of vodka and a bottle of sleeping pills twice in the same month...both times she had no recollection of what she'd done. She is getting the help she needs now...I hope...but it all started with a drink after a stressful day and weekend benders because hell, it was the weekend. I have a drink at special occasions, and once in awhile at a dinner date with the hubby. But I've found its not worth the risk to get caught up in it...best of luck to you.
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
    And I know that i am one disaster away from plunging headlong into that world. From another daughter of an alcoholic. And that's where the thread couldve gone. Genetics?
  • kettlewitch
    kettlewitch Posts: 277 Member
    Best wishes to you and your mum x. Alcohol is the worst drug as it's socially acceptable until u end up face down in a puddle and that's what makes it so hard to beat. Nobody ever formed a cocaine tasting society. And ive been there to.
  • djthom
    djthom Posts: 651 Member
    Alot of what you say sounds like my husband. He is what they call a functioning alcoholic. He's quite capable of holding down a job, he doesn't drink 24/7, he doesn't drink 1st thing in the morning. But unfortunately his drinking does affect our life. Once he starts drinking he usually doesn't stop until he either runs out of beer or passes out. As far as it being genetic I completely believe that. His father is an alcoholic (in recovery) and all his brothers and sisters are alcoholics. I have seen him fight to quit and fail quite a few times. He doesn't want to be like this, but can't seem to help it. It has changed his whole personality. Not being an alcoholic myself I don't know what he's going through, and as much as I tell myself it's not his fault, it's a disease, there is still a part of me that doesn't understand why he can't stop. There is always that if he loved my and the kids enough he would even though I know that's wrong, I can't help that thought from going through my mind sometimes.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    .

    I wasn't offended at all by the post, in fact I had valid points and experiences to share and it's a shame I couldn't do that

    Thank you. I was the one who started that post but unfortunately I had to have it deleted because I've learned that you can't ask certain questions on this website and that certain people on here will get their panties in a bunch in a nano second. But I can understand how you feel and I wish you nothing but the best. I do know that when I'm stressed I will drink more than I should but that isn't every night and I HATE hangovers with a passion. My FIL is a full blown alchoholic and it's so sad to see him get drunk and pass out night after night after night. My husband has gotten more than his fair share of calls from the bartender to come and retrieve his father who is passed out cold on top of the bar. He isn't willing to get help and unfortunately, this will more than likely cause his demise. Good luck to you in the future and have a great night!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    people are way to sensitive which leads to the early demise of many interesting threads.
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    Alcoholism runs in my family. I am a functional alcoholic. To be quite honest what you said describes me to the T. To relax I drink, to celebrate I drink, to get over something I drink...So on and so forth. My grandfather was an alcoholic and it seams to have been passed on. My husband was an alcoholic and drank until his liver and kidneys failed, trust me not a pretty death not that any death is pretty but I never want to go that way.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    people are way to sensitive which leads to the early demise of many interesting threads.

    Hey, I just sent you a PM! LOL! Yeah, some people SUCK!:laugh:
  • darling_nickie
    darling_nickie Posts: 117 Member
    Best wishes to you and your mum x. Alcohol is the worst drug as it's socially acceptable until u end up face down in a puddle and that's what makes it so hard to beat. Nobody ever formed a cocaine tasting society. And ive been there to.

    ty! My mom was adopted so I dunno about her genetics...but I try to steer clear of addictive substances...unfortunately I think my drug of choice is food!
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Alcoholism runs in my family. I am a functional alcoholic. To be quite honest what you said describes me to the T. To relax I drink, to celebrate I drink, to get over something I drink...So on and so forth. My grandfather was an alcoholic and it seams to have been passed on. My husband was an alcoholic and drank until his liver and kidneys failed, trust me not a pretty death not that any death is pretty but I never want to go that way.

    I'm so sorry about your husband. My FIL is a raging alcoholic but walks 5 miles a day and eats a banana every morning and says it countereffects the alcohol. It's sad but this will someday kill him. Thank God my husband isn't like him. He drinks but doesn't get drunk every night like my FIL. Very sad situation.
  • darling_nickie
    darling_nickie Posts: 117 Member
    people are way to sensitive which leads to the early demise of many interesting threads.

    Hey, I just sent you a PM! LOL! Yeah, some people SUCK!:laugh:

    I actually just wanted to say I LOVE THE QUOTE IN YOUR SIG!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    people are way to sensitive which leads to the early demise of many interesting threads.

    Hey, I just sent you a PM! LOL! Yeah, some people SUCK!:laugh:


    Its more to me people just cant handle something the dosent go along with what they think or believe and thats where problems start.it gets taken as personal attacks or offensive.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    I have noticed that there seems to be a strong group of people who enjoy being offended by topics on this site.

    It does make things less interesting, sadly.
  • DancingYogini
    DancingYogini Posts: 377
    From the daughter, granddaughter, great-grandaughter etc...of alcoholics, I can say that I do believe it is part genetics, part environment. I enjoy a pint or two, or wine on the weekends, but never to the point of oblivion. Now in college, that was a different matter! But, it is not the first thing I turn to when stressed, I enjoy it as part of dinner or for a night out. My dad and his dad both died because of alcohol related mental illness, so I have seen the ugly side. My mother does not drink, which I think was a huge influence on how I view alcohol (her dad, brother, grandmother...were/are alccoholics also). So, I am genetically prone to becoming an alcoholic, but because of my mothers influence, I feel that I dodged a bullet...if that makes any sense. Granted, having to scream at your father to stop drinking and go to bed when you are 9 probably was a major aspect in my not becoming an alcoholic.
  • GoingMedium
    GoingMedium Posts: 28
    I have noticed that there seems to be a strong group of people who enjoy being offended by topics on this site.

    It does make things less interesting, sadly.

    I think if people read posts and don't like them they should move on. If a person gets offended, or has a choice opinion, post it and move on.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    I wholeheartedly agree, GoingMedium. It's fine that not everyone likes the same things, otherwise there would be line-ups everywhere, but let others live their lives and have their own opinions in peace.
  • tobeinshapeagain
    tobeinshapeagain Posts: 236
    Relatives on one side of the family were/are alcoholics.
    When we went to their homes for family gatherings,
    there would always be alcohol involved and
    at each event, there was always a loud, hurtful argument of some kind.

    I learned to avoid going to family gatherings when I knew alcohol would be there, too.
    That's one of the reasons I don't allow it in my home.
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
    Almost everyone in my family are alcoholics...i was just commenting yesterday to my husband on how i was so sick of calling my mother at night and hearing her drunk . She was doing soo well until she lost her job... it was the first time ive seen her sober for a week at a time in my entire life. Now shes back at it... my sisters are alcoholics b/c they cant do anything or go anywhere to have fun without drinking. They drink every weekend. It's upsetting b/c i would like to do things with my family sober but they always want to drink so i only go see them like once a month or every other month if i feel like drinking. I stay away from alcohol b/c i know when i start drinking i dont want to stop... i once went on a 4 day drinking binge with my uncle and sister and didnt even call my husband to tell him i was alive... we almost got a divorce over that but I've never done it since (it was my 21st bday which was why he didnt divorce me over it)
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
    I wish those ppl would stay out of threads that offend them instead of ruining for others.
    I have noticed that there seems to be a strong group of people who enjoy being offended by topics on this site.

    It does make things less interesting, sadly.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    I wish those ppl would stay out of threads that offend them instead of ruining for others.
    I have noticed that there seems to be a strong group of people who enjoy being offended by topics on this site.

    It does make things less interesting, sadly.

    I agree with you 90% of the time.
  • djthom
    djthom Posts: 651 Member
    From the daughter, granddaughter, great-grandaughter etc...of alcoholics, I can say that I do believe it is part genetics, part environment. I enjoy a pint or two, or wine on the weekends, but never to the point of oblivion. Now in college, that was a different matter! But, it is not the first thing I turn to when stressed, I enjoy it as part of dinner or for a night out. My dad and his dad both died because of alcohol related mental illness, so I have seen the ugly side. My mother does not drink, which I think was a huge influence on how I view alcohol (her dad, brother, grandmother...were/are alccoholics also). So, I am genetically prone to becoming an alcoholic, but because of my mothers influence, I feel that I dodged a bullet...if that makes any sense. Granted, having to scream at your father to stop drinking and go to bed when you are 9 probably was a major aspect in my not becoming an alcoholic.
    Thank you for your post. I'm happy to hear that you feel your mother not drinking has been a help to you. I very rarely drink and never around my kids. I am hoping to break this terrible cycle of alcoholism that is so prevailant in my husbands family. I hoped that what they've gone through with their father combined with my example of not having to drink to have fun, that they will never drink. It's assuring to hear that with the help of your mother you have dodged the bullet. I do hope my girls will be so lucky.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    people are way to sensitive which leads to the early demise of many interesting threads.

    Hey, I just sent you a PM! LOL! Yeah, some people SUCK!:laugh:


    I never got a pm
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    people are way to sensitive which leads to the early demise of many interesting threads.

    Hey, I just sent you a PM! LOL! Yeah, some people SUCK!:laugh:


    I never got a pm

    Oh, that's strange. I'll resend it.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Almost everyone in my family are alcoholics...i was just commenting yesterday to my husband on how i was so sick of calling my mother at night and hearing her drunk . She was doing soo well until she lost her job... it was the first time ive seen her sober for a week at a time in my entire life. Now shes back at it... my sisters are alcoholics b/c they cant do anything or go anywhere to have fun without drinking. They drink every weekend. It's upsetting b/c i would like to do things with my family sober but they always want to drink so i only go see them like once a month or every other month if i feel like drinking. I stay away from alcohol b/c i know when i start drinking i dont want to stop... i once went on a 4 day drinking binge with my uncle and sister and didnt even call my husband to tell him i was alive... we almost got a divorce over that but I've never done it since (it was my 21st bday which was why he didnt divorce me over it)


    Its the same way with drugs,it was so hard to figure out how to have fun without being high,or to learn how to motivate myself with out it.
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