Hey Men, What Makes/Keeps You motivated! Ladies you'll think

vonalj
vonalj Posts: 124 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
So my fiance and I have been together for 5yrs. He is 6 3" slender/toned build, great metabolism, always worked out....until we moved last May. Since we moved it made the commute an hr and half for him for work. So by the time he gets home he says he can't get motivated to jump back in the car to go to the gym (oh and I've suggested going straight after work). So since he's not doing any sort of physical activity and still eating whatever he wants he has gained approximately 20# and lost all or most of the muscle he had. :( He keeps on saying he is gonna go back to the gym, blah blah! Well now his physique is started to affect how his clothes fit (he's claiming they all shrunk)! Can you believe it! DENIAL! I am someone who has had to watch what I eat and workout my whole life or "my clothes shrink also"! He is started to lose self confidence and I feel bad for him. He knows what he needs to do. I can't seem to help him get motivated. Any suggestions? Or should I just leave him alone?!

Replies

  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Where's that gym? Is it far away from your new place? If so, can you transfer or cancel the membership? Some of the contracts have clauses to allow for that.

    Is there a gym at his workplace? Like a corporate gym?
  • vonalj
    vonalj Posts: 124 Member
    The gym is about 10min. from our home. And works in a hospital, they don't have stuff like gyms/daycares... :(
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
    Could you do things together that don't involve another journey to the gym for him after a long day at work?

    Maybe just for starters until he gets his mojo, could you have more active weekend trips, like long bike rides outdoors together, or go hiking somewhere nice?
  • JanerZzz
    JanerZzz Posts: 276
    What if you start packing up his lunches and making sure its all healthy good stuff! Same with breakfast & dinner! And I agree with the others, do stuff together, he doesn't want to go to the gym...go hiking, rollerblading, biking, pick up rock climibing...anything else active that you two would enjoy together and it wouldn't seem like a chore to him :) Good Luck!
  • Barelmy
    Barelmy Posts: 590 Member
    The gym is about 10min. from our home. And works in a hospital, they don't have stuff like gyms/daycares... :(

    That's silly, they have McDonalds.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Well, if the gym is 10 minutes away, that's not the issue. Darn-there goes my easy answer! :sad:

    He may be bored with his workout? Maybe find a challenge that you can do together, like signing up for a race?
  • threechins
    threechins Posts: 35 Member
    Well, if the gym is 10 minutes away, that's not the issue. Darn-there goes my easy answer! :sad:

    I wouldn't be so sure, if he's anything like me then the small barriers matter. I went through a phase of cycling to work, but my wife eventually tired of the bike in the hall and moved it to the shed. The 'hassle' of unlocking the shed was enough to stop me - the two mile ride, hills and weather didn't stop me, it was the 30 seconds getting a key out and opening up the shed.

    It might be that finding a way to remove the small barrier of the ten minute trip, especially after he's come home, will be all it takes.
  • DowntimeDesigns
    DowntimeDesigns Posts: 134 Member
    Some of my motivation comes from the thought that 'if I don't get in shape, I'm never gonna get a girl who's in shape'. I'm not saying its all about that, but if you start acting disinterested in things that he wants, he may take the hint.
  • momof7withchrist
    momof7withchrist Posts: 25
    For my husband, a trip to the gym is too much too. His daily commute to and from work is 2 hours round trip. Plus he works 12 hour shifts. By the time he gets home, the last thing he wants is to go somewhere. But his clothes started "shrinking" and his arthritis is getting worse(he's only 32). So he ordered that P90X program so he could do it at home. It hasn't arrived yet, but he seems determined. Maybe it's not that he doesn't want to workout. Maybe it's just that he doesn't want to leave home to do it.
  • vonalj
    vonalj Posts: 124 Member
    THANKS FOR ALL THE SUGGESTIONS!
  • hikingmonk
    hikingmonk Posts: 134 Member
    Focus on healthy eating. He's gonna eat every day, so help him to make healthy choices, and hopefully a few calories less than normal. Hopefully a few months of that, a few pounds lost, and more energy will make things better.
  • Geordie_Girl
    Geordie_Girl Posts: 175 Member
    If you factor in the petrol getting to and from the gym, and the cost of the membership itself, how much would he be saving if he cancelled? Could you put that money towards a treadmill or other equipment for home? (If you have the space, of course)
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