Picking Friends

LareishaH
LareishaH Posts: 205 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
My question to all, "How do you choose your MFP friends?" I have friended (made up word) almost 100 people and I would say that only a hand full of them communicate with me. How do you actually find people who provide words of encouragement and push you when you need it the most? It seems like a lot of people have a strong support system on here. I have been here a while, and I am looking for the same thing. Thanks

SN: No offense to the people who are currently my friend, especially if you are part of the hand full!

Replies

  • MaryDreamer
    MaryDreamer Posts: 439
    You gotta keep weeding them out until you eventually end up with all supporters :)
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    at first i jus t posted a topic saying i was new and people added me then i started looking for people in the city/state ( thats how i found you :) ) now i dont make requests but i get quite a few so usually i add them..
  • catherinern
    catherinern Posts: 36
    I added people as I saw that they supported others or had the same goals as me. Love reading everyones posts. Love making new friends :) So far I have lucked out. :)

    Cat
  • My3Rayz
    My3Rayz Posts: 373
    You just kind of friend everyone and then weed out the ones that aren't there for you every day cheering you on...you gotta do the same for them though or they'll weed you out :)
  • My3Rayz
    My3Rayz Posts: 373
    You just kind of friend everyone and then weed out the ones that aren't there for you every day cheering you on...you gotta do the same for them though or they'll weed you out :)
  • ladonne73
    ladonne73 Posts: 93 Member
    I found a lot of my MFP friends on these message boards. I request people who seem to give encouraging and positive words! :smile:
  • carrie145
    carrie145 Posts: 297
    I have weeded mine out once, and I think it's time to do it again. I have a few who never sign on, and who only log their accomplishments, and NEVER offer anyone else any support. You can look at their activity on their profile to see if they are or are not supportive.
  • pdcarrell
    pdcarrell Posts: 101
    I agree I'only 21 Days in and I've requested friends of friends until I have almost to many to keep up with but when I see a comment I reply and like to return the favor you soon see who's watching you closer and you start to watch them closer and badaboom there is your support group an occasional weeding won't hurt some ppl just aren't as determined I almost always accept friend requests but a month or two don't the road if I see they aren't trying I'm probably going to defriend them! ;) Hope it helps only you know whats right for you! :)
  • NoExcuseTina
    NoExcuseTina Posts: 506 Member
    I request people based on what they say in their comments and blogs...if we are responding to the same post, we might have similar goals and interests (depending on their response)!

    Good luck!
  • sweetfeet320
    sweetfeet320 Posts: 34 Member
    I look at the message boards and try to add people who are encouraging, and who have or had (the HAD category is the one I'm trying to get to;) similar weight loss goals. I also look at the last time they logged in, because you can't be a good support when you rarely log in. I don't have many friends, but the ones I do have are really really good!
  • Sasha_Bear
    Sasha_Bear Posts: 625 Member
    I like to keep my friends list small when I first started I had almost 50 friends then realized out of that 50 I only seen about 8 on a regular basis so I deleted the ones who never return the support or encouragement, deleted people who hadn't logged on in while and I'll delete people who have to many friends to offer support to me. Now I'll add anyone but when your not returning the support I give to you I have no problem defriending folks!!
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    Hmm, I'll start commenting on you. I didn't know motivation on here was that important so forgive me for not doing so thus far (even though we're new friends). I'll definitely be more aware. I'm officially not clueless anymore. LOL
  • Corinne_Bruce
    Corinne_Bruce Posts: 206
    I love all my friends, they are supportive and encouraging. If they don't comment for awhile they update their status to say "sorry for not responding to everyone, but you all are doing awesome." They are great! The key is what everyone has previously stated before; befriend people with similar goals/interest and who consistently logs in (if that's what you desire). I'm a runner and I normally befriend runners or those with similar weight loss goals. I also only have 32 friends because I don't use this site like I would facebook, so I don't need a large group of friends. Also, I can't keep up with more than about 50 people like I want to, so I keep my list small. If I get a notice that someone hasn't logged in for a long time, then I remove them. I hope you find your support group soon because it makes this journey so much better. Good luck :smile:
  • Corinne_Bruce
    Corinne_Bruce Posts: 206
    You just kind of friend everyone and then weed out the ones that aren't there for you every day cheering you on...you gotta do the same for them though or they'll weed you out :)

    Great advice :smile:
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    I look for people who have some success behind them or seem positive in their comments to others. I also look at their quotes in thier siggy line.
  • rschmmidt
    rschmmidt Posts: 296
    I went the opposite route. I intentionally limited myself to only having 12 friends because I wanted to make a personal connection with them, and I want to support them regularly. I looked for folks with whom I had something in common.
    Later the number grew to 20, but I stopped there. I really feel like I'm getting to know my pals, and they are super people! It's a good feeling when they support me back.
    I think you have to give support to get it back. Who can give support to over 100 friends?? I say "start small!":flowerforyou:
  • SeattleLady
    SeattleLady Posts: 70
    I added people as I saw that they supported others or had the same goals as me. Love reading everyones posts. Love making new friends :) So far I have lucked out. :)

    Cat

    That is how I grabbed the supportive friends I have too! I only really added people based on things they wrote to encourage others or vise versa. I have added a few extras just in case they needed encouragement from me, but I rarely go out and "seek" freinds.
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
    Most of my friends who are the really active "encouragers" are the triathletes, runners, cyclists and lifters among them, basically the regular training crowd, and well all comment on each other's schedules etc. It's great.

    I've also had people ask to be friends but then they never comment or anything?! I guess maybe they just made friends to see how you eat and train or something? I'm tempted to do a clear out and only keep those that are regularly active and encouraging.
  • barbarajean3
    barbarajean3 Posts: 132 Member
    Just like changing the foods you eat if you aren't getting what you need you should have no problem using the delete button. Just make sure you are giving what you want to receive from others:smile:
  • ChristiI87
    ChristiI87 Posts: 5
    I'm new to MFP and struggline with the same issue. Lots of people have replied with some great ideas for me and you to build our support system. Good luck and be strong!

    Christi
  • Bockety
    Bockety Posts: 21
    I picked a few who were positive and encouraging in the message boards. I read their status updates and see who is leaving positive and encouraging messages there, and friend those folks, too. Usually the folks leaving supportive messages are folks who log in regularly.
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