not bieng heard

I get it. I TOTALLY get it. Or when the opposite kind of happens. Sometimes I'll pass on certain desserts or food because a) I'm not hungry at the time b) I really don't fee like it or c) because it's going to screw me over for the rest of the day and everyone assumes that "She's one a diet. OF COURSE she's on a diet. She should be" and give you that look. That look that says "She's acknowledging she's fat" look. I need the support, not the judgement.

Hi 1aggie,

I might suggest that you tell your coworkers that you're on a diet. It IS relevant, and because eating together is so closely related to hospitality, it would probably help minimize offense or hurt feelings. Most people understand dieting, and are willing to help support you, even if that just means offering you a piece of cake only twice, instead of 17 times.

I'm sorry that no one's noticed your weight loss. I know for myself, I can lose up to twenty pounds before it starts to become obvious, because I'm tall and I have a big frame. The nice side of that is that I can GAIN about the same amount before people start to notice! But you have to keep in mind that no one is paying as much attention to how you look as YOU! It's just human nature. So try to cut them some slack. Keep working. You're doing this for YOU anyway; not for them. Eventually they'll be able to see it, too (maybe when you start buying clothes in a smaller size; those baggy clothes can hide a lot of weight loss!). Consider it delayed gratification. And keep up the good work!!

I hate having attention. I actually don't say anything to friends and family. I guess you can say I shy away from the spotlight. I'm more of the quiet one in the background. if people compliment me on getting thin, I thank them and keep going on. I don't know what it is but I have a hard time getting praised by others.

Some people are really dense and just don't get it. Tell them no the first time. If they keep badgering you, tell them you are very picky about what you eat and would prefer not to try what they are offering. I know this is easier said than done, but if you give in to their demands to eat, you are not doing yourself any favors. Hence the guilt. Someday these people will take the hint and not ask anymore. Just remember to say no with a smile on your face.

I sometimes feel, that on some level, likely subconscious, they want to see you fail. Who knows why, maybe they have tried and failed, or know someone else who has. Maybe it's envy, for a commitment they don't have and wish for. I have to tell myself, repeatedly, that this is for ME, what others think or say, is their problem.:glasses:

I totally get what you are saying. Although you have a right to privacy and don't like to announce to your workplace you are on a diet (I'm like that too), you'll either need to say something about being on a special eating plan for health or just stand your ground and say "no" without an explanation. Eventually those people who push food will get the message. I'm a Type II diabetic and my friend knows it, but she always brings me a container of frosting (because I love it) after she bakes a cake for someone's birthday. As much as I love frosting I don't want it given to me. She was just trying to give me something I liked but on the other hand I was offended that she didn't respect my situation regarding eating sugar. Recently I told her not to bring it to me anymore. We'll see if she respects that when someone has a birthday next month.

If in the past you may have been perceived as someone at work that enjoyed the treats or potluck, your coworkers may see you as someone they expect to eat the food they bring. Even though you are changing they all don't know that about you. Sometimes even when people are aware of a person's diet, they subconsciously attempt to sabotage it so they still have someone to eat and snack with them. It will be a challenge for us to stand our ground and say "no thank you" but we'll feel better about ourselves at the end of the day for doing so.

My pet peeve at work is when people do know that I'm trying to eat healthy and when I put my lunch on the table I get drilled about what I'm eating, what's in it, etc. I know they are curious but I don't like that kind of attention and I just want to eat in peace! Some days I'm more accepting of it than others. It's when each person that sits at the table asks the same questions and I have to repeat myself over and over again!

Well stick to your plan, you're doing great to have been at it for 7 months, and you will get to your goal!:flowerforyou:

Just a suggestion, if you are uncomfortable with saying that you are on a diet, then how about saying 'no thank you, I am trying to make some healthy choices right now' or how about ' I would usually, but I am going out for a meal tonight and don't want to be full' or something like that?

I lost quite a lot before people noticed, I think also that if you are sensitive about your weight (I am making an assumption, but from your post that is what I felt) then maybe people are reluctanat to say anything about you losing weight in case they upset you? As when you mention to someone about there weght it implies that you have noticed their weight....if that makes sense.

Good luck, and keep it up the great work. And maybe worry less about what people think :flowerforyou:

I just say no. Repeatedly. Luckily I don't have the kind of friends who push things, but if I did the answer would still be no. If I don't eat as much as everyone else, my mother comments that I am "starving myself", but as she spends the rest of the time telling me that I am dangerously overweight (148lbs at 5'5"), I don't pay any attention.

It sucks when people can't respect your choices regardless of the reason. I have elected to go in the complete opposite direction and I post my exercise and weight-loss updates on my facebook page. Screw everyone if they think it's too much info, or don't want to know. Don't look at my page. It's for my benefit, not theirs.

I know exactly how you feel.

I've lsot over 40 lbs so far and not one compliment in real life.

like wow.

Yesterday someone told me I looked the same as always. Which kinda hurt. :S

first attempt - "No thank you"

second attempt - "mmmm it does looks great - let me have a taste"

third attempt - 'it's so good that if I eat any more I won't be able to stop. thank you anyway"

fourth attempt - (with much more emphasis) - "thank you, I want to, but I REALLY can't"

fifth attempt - "I said no"

after that - just walk away - they went way way overboard