Ideas for Walmart....sounds fun teehee :)
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kellch
Posts: 7,849 Member
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany
her on her trips to Wal-mart.. Unfortunately, like
most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife
is like most women - - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
right away'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them
in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his
nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department,
he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and
screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here.'
Regards,
Tom Richards
:bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :noway: :bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh:
her on her trips to Wal-mart.. Unfortunately, like
most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife
is like most women - - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
right away'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them
in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his
nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department,
he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and
screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here.'
Regards,
Tom Richards
:bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :noway: :bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh:
0
Replies
-
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany
her on her trips to Wal-mart.. Unfortunately, like
most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, my wife
is like most women - - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
right away'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them
in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his
nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department,
he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and
screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least.
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
There's no toilet paper in here.'
Regards,
Tom Richards
:bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :noway: :bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh:0 -
To funny... that one had me laughing.
Connie0 -
I've done the last one.......:laugh:
And we tried to hide in the clothing racks before....didn't work....0 -
I've hid in the clothing racks before. When I was younger. When someone would try to pull something off the rack I'd yank on it and pull it away from them. :laugh: :bigsmile: :drinker: :devil:0
-
I've hid in the clothing racks before. When I was younger. When someone would try to pull something off the rack I'd yank on it and pull it away from them. :laugh: :bigsmile: :drinker: :devil:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
HA HA HA0
-
A long time ago I found a little girl just standing there in womans shoes. She was about 3 yrs old. I asked her name, she told me in spanish a whole lot of things, non of which I understand.
This happened about a week after a child had been abducted from a department store, so no way I was going to walk away.
But for the same reason I didnt want to take her by the hand and lead her ANYWHERE! I could just see the police tackling me to the floor and throwing handcuffs on me!
So there I stood with 2 fingers on the little girls head, waving my other hand in the air:
"THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL IN SHOES.....MOMMY YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS IN THE WOMANS SHOES.....!! " I yelled.
After about 5 minutes a store clerk and sweet little crying mommy came running up...She was bewildered why I didnt take her to the counter and call for her mom, but I couldnt explain due to the language barrier.
I laughed all the way home. And thanked God he put ME in that place, at that time!:flowerforyou:0 -
I found a little girl in womans shoes, just standing there. She was about 3 yrs old. I asked her name, she told me in spanish a whole lot of things I didnt understand.
It was a week after a child had been abducted from a department store so no way I was going to walk away. But for the same reason I didnt want to take her by the hand and lead her ANYWHERE!
Isn't is sad that we have gotten to that point. Where we don't feel like we can help someone because it might be taken the wrong way. It's just sad...:noway:0 -
too funny, :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
-
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That one is a keeper! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
-
A long time ago I found a little girl just standing there in womans shoes. She was about 3 yrs old. I asked her name, she told me in spanish a whole lot of things, non of which I understand.
This happened about a week after a child had been abducted from a department store, so no way I was going to walk away.
But for the same reason I didnt want to take her by the hand and lead her ANYWHERE! I could just see the police tackling me to the floor and throwing handcuffs on me!
So there I stood with 2 fingers on the little girls head, waving my other hand in the air:
"THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL IN SHOES.....MOMMY YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS IN THE WOMANS SHOES.....!! " I yelled.
After about 5 minutes a store clerk and sweet little crying mommy came running up...She was bewildered why I didnt take her to the counter and call for her mom, but I couldnt explain due to the language barrier.
I laughed all the way home. And thanked God he put ME in that place, at that time!:flowerforyou:
:laugh: You're just too funny :laugh: :flowerforyou: :smooched:0 -
*grabs pen and paper* Ok ummmmmmm #1 and #2 sound like fun today..........*dips out for lunch* :laugh: :bigsmile: :devil: :smokin:0
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A long time ago I found a little girl just standing there in womans shoes. She was about 3 yrs old. I asked her name, she told me in spanish a whole lot of things, non of which I understand.
This happened about a week after a child had been abducted from a department store, so no way I was going to walk away.
But for the same reason I didnt want to take her by the hand and lead her ANYWHERE! I could just see the police tackling me to the floor and throwing handcuffs on me!
So there I stood with 2 fingers on the little girls head, waving my other hand in the air:
"THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL IN SHOES.....MOMMY YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS IN THE WOMANS SHOES.....!! " I yelled.
After about 5 minutes a store clerk and sweet little crying mommy came running up...She was bewildered why I didnt take her to the counter and call for her mom, but I couldnt explain due to the language barrier.
I laughed all the way home. And thanked God he put ME in that place, at that time!:flowerforyou:
I was in walmart in florida last december and they had a code adam come on and I swear the description they gave was just like my son. The only difference is my son had on navy blue shorts and the other kid had on black shorts. And I think my son was about a year older. They were both red heads and everything. People started to look at me and I was like this is my kid. Good thing I had 2 other red headed kids with me also.
Connie0 -
A long time ago I found a little girl just standing there in womans shoes. She was about 3 yrs old. I asked her name, she told me in spanish a whole lot of things, non of which I understand.
This happened about a week after a child had been abducted from a department store, so no way I was going to walk away.
But for the same reason I didnt want to take her by the hand and lead her ANYWHERE! I could just see the police tackling me to the floor and throwing handcuffs on me!
So there I stood with 2 fingers on the little girls head, waving my other hand in the air:
"THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL IN SHOES.....MOMMY YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS IN THE WOMANS SHOES.....!! " I yelled.
After about 5 minutes a store clerk and sweet little crying mommy came running up...She was bewildered why I didnt take her to the counter and call for her mom, but I couldnt explain due to the language barrier.
I laughed all the way home. And thanked God he put ME in that place, at that time!:flowerforyou:
I was in walmart in florida last december and they had a code adam come on and I swear the description they gave was just like my son. The only difference is my son had on navy blue shorts and the other kid had on black shorts. And I think my son was about a year older. They were both red heads and everything. People started to look at me and I was like this is my kid. Good thing I had 2 other red headed kids with me also.
Connie
O my gosh.....0 -
I would have freaked.
Code Adam started here in south florida (Hollywood), and is the abduction I was referring to. Adam Walsh was abducted from a mall ( think it was sears) His mom and dad pushed for the legislation because they could not get anyone to cooperate. broward with dade.....dade with palm beach...it was nuts.
So anyway....
Lets all promise to go in the changing room and yell for TP this weekend!
We can count the extra calories burned while running from the security guards!!0 -
So anyway....
Lets all promise to go in the changing room and yell for TP this weekend!
We can count the extra calories burned while running from the security guards!!
:laugh: They say ya gotta switch up the exercises...new routines???? hmmmmm...this would be new...:laugh: :bigsmile:0 -
Not sure Walmart is ready for the Pit Gang to do a high stepping routine yet? :laugh:So anyway....
Lets all promise to go in the changing room and yell for TP this weekend!
We can count the extra calories burned while running from the security guards!!
:laugh: They say ya gotta switch up the exercises...new routines???? hmmmmm...this would be new...:laugh: :bigsmile:0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Not sure Walmart is ready for the Pit Gang to do a high stepping routine yet? :laugh:So anyway....
Lets all promise to go in the changing room and yell for TP this weekend!
We can count the extra calories burned while running from the security guards!!
:laugh: They say ya gotta switch up the exercises...new routines???? hmmmmm...this would be new...:laugh: :bigsmile:0 -
Not sure Walmart is ready for the Pit Gang to do a high stepping routine yet? :laugh:So anyway....
Lets all promise to go in the changing room and yell for TP this weekend!
We can count the extra calories burned while running from the security guards!!
:laugh: They say ya gotta switch up the exercises...new routines???? hmmmmm...this would be new...:laugh: :bigsmile:
No but that would be an AWESOME thing to watch...:bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
OMG that is just too funny.0
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