Ideas for Walmart....sounds fun teehee :)

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany

her on her trips to Wal-mart.. Unfortunately, like

most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to

get in and get out.


Equally unfortunately, my wife

is like most women - - she loved to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter

from the local Wal-Mart.


Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been

causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot

tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban

both of you from the store. Our complaints against

Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our

video surveillance cameras.





1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

carts when they weren't looking.





2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares

to go off at 5-minute intervals.





3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor

leading to the women's restroom.





4. July 19:

Walked up to an employee and told her in

an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it

right away'





5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to

put a bag of M&M's on layaway.





6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to

a carpeted area.





7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping

department and told other shoppers he'd invite them

in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the

bedding department.





8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help

him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you

people just leave me alone?'





9. September 4: Looked right into the security

camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his

nose.



10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting

department,

he asked the clerk where the

antidepressants were.





11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously

while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.





12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced

his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of

funnels.







13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when

people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'





14. October 21: When an announcement came over the

loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and

screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'





And last, but not least.



15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the

door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!

There's no toilet paper in here.'



Regards,

Tom Richards

:bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :noway: :bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh:

A long time ago I found a little girl just standing there in womans shoes. She was about 3 yrs old. I asked her name, she told me in spanish a whole lot of things, non of which I understand.

This happened about a week after a child had been abducted from a department store, so no way I was going to walk away.

But for the same reason I didnt want to take her by the hand and lead her ANYWHERE! I could just see the police tackling me to the floor and throwing handcuffs on me!

So there I stood with 2 fingers on the little girls head, waving my other hand in the air:

"THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL IN SHOES.....MOMMY YOUR LITTLE GIRL IS IN THE WOMANS SHOES.....!! " I yelled.

After about 5 minutes a store clerk and sweet little crying mommy came running up...She was bewildered why I didnt take her to the counter and call for her mom, but I couldnt explain due to the language barrier.

I laughed all the way home. And thanked God he put ME in that place, at that time!:flowerforyou:

:laugh: You're just too funny :laugh: :flowerforyou: :smooched:

So anyway....

Lets all promise to go in the changing room and yell for TP this weekend!

We can count the extra calories burned while running from the security guards!!

:laugh: They say ya gotta switch up the exercises...new routines???? hmmmmm...this would be new...:laugh: :bigsmile:

Not sure Walmart is ready for the Pit Gang to do a high stepping routine yet? :laugh:

No but that would be an AWESOME thing to watch...:bigsmile: :drinker: :laugh: :laugh: