Shame

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kayelkay
kayelkay Posts: 40
in Motivation and Support
I set my diary to private for the first time today. Why? Because I'm ashamed of how much I have been eating. I can eat well through most of the day, but sometimes I just get this insane hunger where I feel like I could just keep eating and eating and it's hard for me to stop. This only happens every once in a while, but it is still very discouraging and embarassing.

I'm actually embarassed about writing about it here even though nobody here knows who I am.

Does anybody ever feel the same way? What do you do to help yourself get over it?
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Replies

  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
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    Keeping an open diary is part of what motivates me to make healthy choices ! Just remind yourself before you eat something that this will be public :)
  • joanipowell
    joanipowell Posts: 30 Member
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    Of Course that is why I am on here too. But one thing I have learned is that I have to hold myself accountable! I am going to mess up sometimes. I just try harder not to and when it happens I move on, learn, and get right back up. You can do it!
  • heather1945
    heather1945 Posts: 117 Member
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    Everyone has offdays. Don't be too harsh with yourself!! :-) Take a deep breath and tell yourself that tomorrow is another day.....Whipping yourself is only going to make you feel more despondent......chin up.. :-)
  • SlimmingSarah
    SlimmingSarah Posts: 74
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    If you put your diary on private it ruins the influence. You're no longer accountable. Keep it on public and just be honest! If your accountable youre more likely to behave yourself.
  • JeanMargaret
    JeanMargaret Posts: 69
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    Yes, I feel the same way sometimes. All I can figure is, the body's like a whiny child. It's a brat. My entire life I've eaten too much, so when I don't eat the way my body is used to - it throws a temper tantrum. I have to cry through it. Sometimes I win and sometimes I lose, but I never quit battling.

    I honestly can sympathize with you. I've been there. It still happens to me. Please don't lose hope. We must keep trying. I'm right here with you, honestly.

    *hugs*

    Jean
  • dragonbug300
    dragonbug300 Posts: 760 Member
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    All the time. My eating habits are godawful. I log everything in, though, and keep my diary open to friends. Why? I don't really know. Perhaps in hopes that knowing others can view it will keep me on-track.

    You've nothing to be ashamed about. We've all been there. The important thing is to learn from mistakes. Even if you make the same mistake a thousand times, it's never too late to break the cycle. Eat too much at night? Try shifting your meals so that you're eating more earlier in the day. Then at night schedule things to do that keep you away from food.
  • lisa_ace
    lisa_ace Posts: 4
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    Don't feel ashamed, most people (Definitely me) Have felt like you before or often. Just realize that it's a problem, and try to do better the next day. Every day is a new day! Don't beat yourself up, just do something about it. Good Luck! I know you can do it!
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    I feel this way sometimes, but I always just log it and move on. My diary is public everyday and I like to get advice on some things (there is one friend on the verge of being deleted since he won't get off my back about joining him in his low carb garbage). I just feel that when it is public, I am holding myself more accountable by letting other people see what I am doing, whether good or bad. I also comment on my own diary when I do bad to let people know that I fully realize what I did, and I also like to comment about what I am going to do to improve tomorrow and make things right.

    Just hang on and keep moving forward. We're all here to help and there's no reason to feel this ashamed of yourself. It's not like you are one of those people who eats really bad and then tries to justify it all the time. Those are the people who should feel the shame because those are the ones who will never get corrected and back on track!
  • DeanneK
    DeanneK Posts: 6
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    Yes! I was actually going though the exact same craving, urges, hunger as I read this. And knowing someone else was struggling with this made me stop and reflect.

    In my personal opinion it is always okay to have a bad day or meal in the week - you have to or you will go crazy with cravings. I am also learning how to substitute food cravings with healthier options. For example - I love chocolate, and crave it a lot - I started making the fat free jello pudding mixes with chocolate soy milk, so when I need a sweet treat I don't have to feel guilty.

    The last thing you want to do is feel shame, it should be all about feeling good and making healthier decisiouns - not getting down on yourself. Allow yourself a cheat day, get it out of your system and tomorrow is another day! No one here is judging!
  • rebeccawible
    rebeccawible Posts: 87
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    don't feel bad I do the same thing. expecially at night for some reason. kinda like a binge. i like to eat vegetable soup. they have one at walmart that has 100 cals for 16 oz. taste great and fills you up too. or low fat pop corn. 15 cals per cup. lets you munch as much as you want without the large calorie intake. keep your eye on your goal! this helps me. and remember its not a failure! TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY!! :bigsmile:
  • emaybe
    emaybe Posts: 187 Member
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    A few ways I've found around that, most of which have nothing to do with each other:

    1. LOG THE BAD DAYS. It helps, I swear. When you look at it and feel shameful, that's okay... but how proud will you feel the next day if/when you meet your goal? It's great for tracking progress AND pinpointing triggers (which are a big deal if you're an emotional eater).
    2. Drink a *kitten* ton of water. If you're hungry, down a pint glass of water. If you're bored, down a pint glass of water. Not only is it great for you, but it'll help curb unwanted hunger pangs.
    3. Keep snacky food that you don't really like around. If you're eating because you're bored, having something like bland, unseasoned popcorn will not make you want to keep eating... and even if you do, it won't be all that bad for ya. This will also help eventually train you that mindless snacking ≠ reward.

    Good luck sweetie... we all have bad days, bad weeks (check out my M-S last week), et cetera. You're strong enough to get past it.
  • ahkunkel
    ahkunkel Posts: 68
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    Do not be ashamed! This is a process, there are hills, valleys, mountains and everything in between when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. We have all "fallen off the wagon" or had really bad days but that doesn't mean that you should feel ashamed. I know you mentioned that you get hunger cravings which can lead to overeating. Is there anyway you can change "what" you are eating instead of "how much"? For instance, 3 cups of icecream is completely different from 3 cups of apples, or yogurt, or pretzels, etc. If you want icecream, then eat icecream but don't do it when you are feeling those hunger pains. Maybe set aside a certain time in the day and use junk food as a treat, such as "During American Idol on Tuesday nights is my time to have that bowl of icecream" and if American Idol isn't on, then don't touch the icecream! That is my advice, it USUALLY works for me, but like I said, we all have our days in which we go over on our calories. Keep working hard and remember that this is a daily choice. Even though you messed up today, fix tomorrow. You can do this :)
  • amwind
    amwind Posts: 1 Member
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    YES! All the time! It's comforting to know I'm not alone. I usually try to get away from the kitchen/food area. Take a walk. Read a book. It helps if I involve myself in something else so that my mind stays occupied. I've also been told to drink 8-10 ounces of water quickly. You will often feel like you are hungry when you are dehydrated. Even if you drink alot of water through the day. Drinking a large amount fast fills your stomach and often kills the hunger pains. Hope that helps! Good luck!
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,238 Member
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    Most, if not all of us have been there. I don't feel like making my food diary public to everyone, but it is open to my friends, and will stay open to them regardless of what I eat. There will be days when I eat a lot. This Saturday might be one of them since we have a family event to celebrate several birthdays. I will enjoy the food, and I will try to control myself. Having said that, I may eat much more than I should, and the tasty food may encourage me to eat with little control. Following that I will chart as much as I can, and realize we all have days like that. There have been times when I have gone to one of these, and shown great self-control. Other times, not so much.
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
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    Writing it down is a good step. I found that when I was alone I would gravitate to the kitchen and binge. I don't know why I do this, just a compulsion but when I started keeping a journal of how I "felt" while I was doing this I realized that it has been a habit since I was a kid.
    I have talked about it and discussed it with my husband to get it out in the open and deal with it. Now that I have "come out" about it I feel better and am able to recognize the craving for mindless eating and keep myself busy with other things. I have also started going out with my husband when he pops out to do errands, or whatever, just so I am not left alone with the kitchen, or I log onto MFP with a big steaming cup of yummy smelling herbal tea.
  • katzba
    katzba Posts: 19 Member
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    I used to feel like this when I drank Diet Pepsi. I stopped drinking it about 2 months ago and it hasn't happened since then. I just drink water and feel like I have more control over my eating.
  • ZachyABaby
    ZachyABaby Posts: 235
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    Water FTW. I drink a TON of water.

    Plus, like everyone said, get some low cal snacks. OR just really do your research to see what fits into your specific calorie plan and choose foods that are super filling. I find that chicken leaves me hungry a little while later, whereas turkey or bison fill me up for hours.

    If this was easy everyone would do it. Getting honest is the first step to changing anything.
  • TooFine4MFP
    TooFine4MFP Posts: 134 Member
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    I have been there w/ the diary thing. Alot of times I just wouldn't even post one. But posting a diary does help you become more conscious of what and how much you eat. Don't be defeated by shame, we all mess up with our eating, sometimes more than we should. But pick yourself back up and try again, sometimes change is a process, not just instantaneous.
  • chasingskinny
    chasingskinny Posts: 54
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    I'm there with ya! I was starving today, but not physically starving. I was mentally starving. I wanted sweets, and I felt rebellious about it. I felt like stomping my foot and saying "I WANT IT!!!" I did indulge just a little, but I got back on track. You can't be perfect all the time, you'll go crazy. Make sure you get back on track though. And having my diary public is what motivates me to do better. Best of luck. :flowerforyou:
  • angelzxy321
    angelzxy321 Posts: 1,019 Member
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    I have this problem every few days also. I once gained about 4 pounds after 2 days of eating pretty much everything I wanted to eat. Even things I would never have eaten before. I figured it was binge eating and was brought on by me not eating any of the foods I liked to eat so I decided to treat myself whenever I felt like it but only with the smallest piece ever (like a tiny bite of a donut or piece of chocolate and stop there). This has worked so far and I continue to loose. I also ensure that if I do eat a bite of something sweet/fatty, I adjust what I eat for the rest of the day. If that doesn't work you can also try to do something else to take your mind off of eating.

    Best of luck.

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