Does anyone else hate......

fteale
fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
when people come up to you and say "You've lost loads of weight!" in a surprised tone. Maybe they are trying to be flattering, but it always sounds to me like "You were such a fat heifer before." Especially as I have only lost 4 lbs, so actually, I HAVEN'T lost weight. I have toned up, but I wasn't THAT big before (UK12/US8 at 5'5").

I am probably weird, but it always offends me.

Replies

  • ceebs9
    ceebs9 Posts: 511 Member
    Oh hell no. I love it. And I always make sure I comment when I notice someone else has lost. Not in a surprised tone, but in a "Dang you've worked hard and it shows" tone. I don't *think* I've ever offended anyone since they've always seemed pleased that someone has noticed their hard work. Be proud of what you've accomplished!
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I am only the same size/weight I was before I had children, so I don't feel like I have achieved anything. I am just back to being me-shaped again. I am quite upset that people have thought of/seen me as fat for the past 6 years!
  • pajamaacademy
    pajamaacademy Posts: 1 Member
    I have alot to lose and this isn't my first go at it. When I get about 30lbs down I start hearing those comments and it drives me nuts! I'm ashamed of how I let myself get and its like they put a great big microscope on me, I just want to crawl under a rock. I appreciate when some one tells me I'm looking good but I would like to talk about something besides how much I've lost or what I'm doing to lose "so much"! Ugh I'm with ya.
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    when people come up to you and say "You've lost loads of weight!" in a surprised tone. Maybe they are trying to be flattering, but it always sounds to me like "You were such a fat heifer before." Especially as I have only lost 4 lbs, so actually, I HAVEN'T lost weight. I have toned up, but I wasn't THAT big before (UK12/US8 at 5'5").

    I am probably weird, but it always offends me.

    Why do feel uncomfortable accepting a compliment or hearing an observation? That's the real issue here.

    You said it yourself--you don't feel like you have achieved anything. I don't see how that's possible, as you exercise regularly and try to eat a good diet, and somehow work that around young kids. That is an achievement!

    Try not to be so hard on yourself.
  • ClarkMer
    ClarkMer Posts: 206 Member
    Depending on my mood sometimes I hate it. I get in depressed moods and it feels like an insult, but when I am in a good mood and have had a really good day exercising and havent eaten anything bad I love it. It kinda helps me see my results.
  • ceebs9
    ceebs9 Posts: 511 Member
    I am only the same size/weight I was before I had children, so I don't feel like I have achieved anything. I am just back to being me-shaped again. I am quite upset that people have thought of/seen me as fat for the past 6 years!

    Well you're obviously doing something right if people are noticing! It's your choice to be upset at what you *think* other people have thought of you or be proud that you're taking the steps to be healthy and fit. I'm sure those people aren't thinking that....you're projecting it. My advice? Give them your biggest smile and say "Thank you." And then be proud that you're doing it right!
  • Hinto
    Hinto Posts: 52
    It's nice when people notice I guess, but there's some people I know that tell me that every time they see me, even when I've gained weight, so for them it's just something to say...
  • thrsubcon3
    thrsubcon3 Posts: 7
    Don't worry it's completely normal to not like flattery, heck I don't either. When you are working out you don't see the changes because you see yourself every day. That's why some workouts do before and after pictures. The key is to not give up until you reach your personal goals no matter what they may be. One thing to think about is that if you are feeling blah now, imagine how you would feel if you were doing nothing.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    I have lost 30 pounds in the last year. I KNOW I was fat, I KNOW I still have more to go, I KNOW i look much better than I used to. I have received very few comments about my weight loss. I want to scream "HELLO, ARE YOU ALL BLIND!!!!" I think a lot of people are afriad of offending others so they don't say anything....I'd love to hear a "wow"....
  • perrytyra
    perrytyra Posts: 357 Member
    I get what you are saying. I would be offended too if they said it in a surprised tone.

    Sometimes when someone tells me I look nice at church, I think, "OK, so I normally don't look nice." It is totally different then saying "I like your outfit", or "I like you shoe" makeup, hair etc..... That I like.

    Of course totally different then my husband telling me I look nice. That never bothers me.

    What I find funny is when someone asks me if I have lost weight, and I haven't. No, still fat. LOL. Just a more flattering outfit I guess. But that was before MFP. I will be getting smaller from now on. And will be happy with any compliment.
  • KidP
    KidP Posts: 247 Member
    Think of it this way: if you get all dressed up to go out & someone tells you that you look great, they're not trying to say "you look awful the rest of the time". They're just noticing that you've put some extra effort into your appearance. It's kind of the same with weight loss/getting in shape. It takes extra work to get in better shape & to eat well, and that's what people are really acknowledging (whether they know it or not). I had people telling me i'd lost weight a year or so back when i did a round of P90x. I hadn't - i'd actually gained weight while doing it, but got more trim & was in better shape (if i'd known about MFP, i'd have lost weight as well). I chose to take it as a compliment.
  • cheangela
    cheangela Posts: 173
    You're not alone on that one... I went on a really awesome eating plan, lost 14 pounds, felt great. NO ONE said anything. I gained 8 lbs of it back (combo of depression triggered eating and quitting smoking) and all of a sudden my muffin top is getting pointed at whilst people proclaim "oooh, look how much weight you've lost!!!"

    Another thing that bothers me is the fact that people feel the need to comment on the fact that all I snack on are fruit and veg. I eat 2 pounds of produce a day and I feel awesome... but someone had the audacity to insinuate that I'm showing signs of an eating disorder. Never new a carrot was such a gateway drug.

    Sorry, I'll end my rant now :-).
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Never new a carrot was such a gateway drug.

    Ha!
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    I am only the same size/weight I was before I had children, so I don't feel like I have achieved anything. I am just back to being me-shaped again. I am quite upset that people have thought of/seen me as fat for the past 6 years!

    Well you're obviously doing something right if people are noticing! It's your choice to be upset at what you *think* other people have thought of you or be proud that you're taking the steps to be healthy and fit. I'm sure those people aren't thinking that....you're projecting it. My advice? Give them your biggest smile and say "Thank you." And then be proud that you're doing it right!

    I agree. I think their intentions are good. If they weren't, they just wouldn't tell you that they notice. Keep up the good work and enjoy the compliments!
  • Zaggytiddies
    Zaggytiddies Posts: 326 Member
    I can't friggin wait for someone to notice and say something about the weight I've lost. It will seriously make my day. I know I was/am fat. They have eyes. They see it too.
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