Family support (or lack thereof)...

EricJonrosh
EricJonrosh Posts: 823 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
My family has hurt my weight loss goals so much that now I don't even share with them what I'm doing. Whether they're fat and enabling, or skinny and condescending, my family drives me nuts and I knew I would have to confront this sooner or later. My little brother (6 pack) has a completely different view of life. His priorities in life are: penis, self, mirror, and Tony Robbins. Even though I've lost 23 pounds on my own, I'm doing it all wrong. "What's your anchor? What's your leverage?" I told him I'm not talking about my goals because I want to surprise family this summer when I see them. Whoops! I walked into that one. "That's not a good reason. You shouldn't do it for other people. Do it for yourself (penis, mirror, Tony Robbins). We've had this exact same conversation 3 years ago (remember, when you failed?). Now share your goals with me (so I can pick them apart)." SHUT UP!!!! God, make it stop!
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Weight loss is fun. It's challenging. I've never been so curious about glycogen, lipids and omega 3 fatty acids in my life. But I'm doing it my way. My family can seriously kiss my *kitten* if they don't like my method or goals. Maybe it works for other people to "do it for yourself" but I'm just not that shallow. I don't want to lose weight just to look better and get girls. There is more to life than that.

Does anyone hear me on this?
Do you struggle with family?
Do you have a parent that you can't visit for more than one day or you'll fall into old patterns with them?
Do you have a sibling, who has never been fat, who's armed with a history of your false starts, preaching at you?

I get way more motivation from the girls at It's a Grind than my own family.

Replies

  • katcena
    katcena Posts: 326 Member
    All I can say is "Good for You"! And I totally understand. My sister can eat everything in sight and is a size 4! I did not inherit those genes in my family....lucky me! lol
    It sounds to me like you are right in the head on this and you are heading in the right direction. I'm glad you found MFP....it's a great site! LOVE IT!
  • Galathea
    Galathea Posts: 420 Member
    Oh boy, I soooo hear ya on this.
    Two stepbrothers (bodybuilders) who tell me I do it all wrong all the time and it can't work my way.
    Yeah, sure, that's why I lost 80 lbs, you $%&/()§. Grrrrr, makes me wanna scream now and then.
    But I think in this lack of motivation and support actually you can find your own motivation. You prove them they are wrong. Personally I stopped paying attention to certain family members regarding my journey here. It's easier for me to do it on my own without all the "family help".
  • marielenrdz
    marielenrdz Posts: 52 Member
    I hear ya! I get the same lack of support from family and friends. I like to post about my diet woes on FaceBook and my sister is always commenting negatively..."You're obsessed. We're tired of hearing about your calories and exercises!" " Someone needs to get a life and stop dieting!" "Intervention, please....she's out of control!"

    Once she put as her status "Hoping today I won't have to read anything about my sister's calories or exercise!"

    UGH!!!

    Meanwhile, she does HCG shots (I think that's what they're called) and joined a gym. She's always been the smallest sister of my parents' three girls (and the middle one).....I believe that I'm starting to become a threat to her, thus her negative response to my dieting. I also have family members (namely Mom and Grandma plus a couple of co-workers) telling me that I'm looking old and need to stop dieting or that I look sick.

    I can't eat with one of my friends (she's a small girl, too) anymore, because she gets all negative on me:

    "Why do we even go out to eat? You're just gonna order lettuce!" or "You're just going to eat soup? That's all??? Why did we even go out to eat?" or "I should've remembered that all you would eat is a child's plate...I could've stayed home and saved some money!".....WTH? I usually tell her, "It's not supposed to the food, but the company that is enjoyable. I can enjoy spending time with you while eating soup. What's wrong with that??"

    And she's always offering me candy or little snacks while saying"Puleez.....one or two won't hurt!"

    UGH!! UGH!!

    I've learned to let it roll off my back and just do me. Either they're with me or against me and I'm not going to waste my time worrying about it. This doesn't apply to Mom and Grandma who are just old-fashioned and like me a little plump in the face! Gotta luv Momma and Gramms, no matter what they say!!
  • xlacijeanx
    xlacijeanx Posts: 232 Member
    We all have people in our lives that are enablers, or the preachy ones that love nitpicking and trying to tell us we failed before why even keep trying. But you SHOULD be doing this for yourself. Your HEALTH should be your #1 priority. It is selfish, but it's the best thing you could ever do for yourself and even better your family- because you'll be alive much longer. You'll be healthier, and wiser than your vain brother, because you know how hard it was to get there. Hang in there- once you do this for YOU- everyone else will notice your positiveness and confidence and stop being such non supporters- You're doing it- keep proving em wrong! :)
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