Lack of family support...

I understand, though my very skinny (never had an ounce of fat on her body) navy sister is a bit more supportive than your brother. Though when she comes to town to visit I may sing a different story because she's currently in nursing school and plans to do a work up on our parents and myself and I'm sure she'll tell me everything I'm doing wrong.

I look at the phrase "do it for yourself" differently. To me it's not shallow. I'm not doing this to get a guy or to impress family or friends or anyone. I'm doing this for myself to feel better about me. I'm doing this for myself to become healthier so that I can stick around for my children.

I'm doing this for myself so I can find my self confidence. I had self confidence and self esteem once upon a time. I want it back...

Whatever works for you is the right way to do things. You've lost 23 lbs and that's awesome.... your way seems to working so far, which is super.

Do it your way and don't listen to anyone else. Tell them thanks for your concern but my way is working so far and guess what is my flipping body, so ya know thanks but no thanks.

My mother can be a naysayer as well. I complained at my father and so she's eased up a bit, but she was pretty bad. If I was going to the kitchen multiple times she'd be like "You're eating again?" Or if my plate seemed too big to her she sit there and tell me that a meat portion was only supposed to be so big.

There for awhile before I joined here and really wanted to truly give this weight loss thing a try I was working out. I went occasionally at night to a 24 hr gym and occasionally during the day to the YMCA. I'm doing all this working out and mom tells me that exercising is all fine and good but if I don't learn portion control then I won't lose anything. My mother is smaller than me but she's also a lot shorter. She's got some extra weight on herself, so truthfully she's not one to be handing advice.

Even now I get the feeling from my mom when I say I've lost 12 lbs that she rolls her eyes as if it's not true....

I won't even get into the troubles of cooking family meals for myself, my parents and my children. Talk about frustration.

Missy spoke well,

Take the Do it for yourself not with vanity in mind. Think of it like you would putting on a seat belt in your car, the actions you take today will return dividends down the road. And I think wanting to surprise your family come summer is an acceptable motivator, who wouldn't enjoy seeing your family's faces light up with surprise.

As for the naysayers just ignore em, do what you gotta do. Keep your chin up and keep on truckin and don't get down because your not doing it "the right way".

And GOOD JOB with the 23 pounds gone!!

Missy spoke well,

Take the Do it for yourself not with vanity in mind. Think of it like you would putting on a seat belt in your car, the actions you take today will return dividends down the road. And I think wanting to surprise your family come summer is an acceptable motivator, who wouldn't enjoy seeing your family's faces light up with surprise.

As for the naysayers just ignore em, do what you gotta do. Keep your chin up and keep on truckin and don't get down because your not doing it "the right way".

And GOOD JOB with the 23 pounds gone!!

I see your point but at the same time I have to say that losing weight to look better, weather u say it is because u want to look good in a bikini, or because u want more confidence, really goes hand in hand doesn't it? I mean, u feel more confident when u look good.

Both my brothers used to be very fit, and now it seems like they get angry that I'm working out. They ask me "how long is it going to last now" and criticize my salad for not having enough protein whilst their munching on Pizza. I've lost 10lbs and they have yet to comment on my weight loss. It's weird really, whenever they ask what I've done and for.ex I told them, I ran 5k in 25min the other morning, my other brother goes "hey I'll race u any day, and besides i bet u ran on a treadmill right? That doesn't count, treadmills are for p*****"
Right, thanks for the support!

I know what all of you mean but I have gotten to the stage of life where I feel free to tell the negative types to mind their own business and will ask "what the F is it to you, anyway?" :explode:

@Mac- so I take it that your brothers aren't so fit now? if so race him- why Not-? if you don't beat his a-- into submission you can have it as a training goal- and if you do beat him you can tell him that he should consider using MFP bevause he is clearly out of shape :laugh:

Lol! haha you are right! it's more of bullying, in my fam the guys have always been very macho, so when I step up they feel a need to push me down. I'm doing it for me though so the only thing they are doing is unknowingly motivating me more :P There are always going to be people around that react negatively. That's life! Maybe me racing him would motivate him enough to start working out again lol :P

oh i can feel u..i have a brother who is not so fit n criticize me all the time...and then i have my mom who encourages me even after .5lb loss... i have just strtd n im gonna do it for my self....dnt listen to wht others say..sometimes its just because u r doing something they shld've been doing:P

Family members and friends do have great difficulty when we step out of our role for any reason. Change is very scary to people. Especially if they feel you are somehow leaving them behind. Trying to improve your health, attitude , and self image can be very intimidating. If you fail then you stay the "same " comfortable person they are accustomed to. Hang in there! Change is good! I do it for me because I won't succeed any other way. I take responsibility for me. I can't control what other people think, say or do. You are probably looking for some positive support from the people you love but, you may not get it. Stay confident and calm about where you are going and what you are doing. Be a rock! They'll come around or not but ,you'll be stronger and feel better if you succeed.

hey Steve,

it seems like you're in it for the right reasons.....for YOU and for your HEALTH! you don't need to justify it to anyone else (nor do they need to defend their choices to you....ahem).

learning about diet and nutrition and how your body uses what you feed it is a fascinating journey. I'm sure you have plenty of information to digest to keep your mind occupied. Don't let others get under your skin.

Someone in my life won't even eat food I make lest she come to look like me (she hasn't noticed that I've lost 45 lbs, LOL). I try to limit my exposure to her and in the end, I'm not doing this so she'll eat the food I make. I'm doing this for my good health and state of mind.

good luck and happy eating Steve!

If your brother wants to spend his time and money listening to Tony Robbins and going to seminars, so what? What does that have to do with YOU or your goals? If that is his path, that he has chosen for himself, then accept it and move on. If he has his way of thing things and they work for him, then why should it bother you? Why should it affect you and the way you want to do things?

I'm not trying to be harsh here, but to me it sounds like you're doing yourself a disservice by letting other people, even if they are family, affect your mindset when it comes to achieving your goals.

Oh ya good job on your weight loss! Keep it up!:happy:

Both my brothers used to be very fit, and now it seems like they get angry that I'm working out. They ask me "how long is it going to last now" and criticize my salad for not having enough protein whilst their munching on Pizza. I've lost 10lbs and they have yet to comment on my weight loss. It's weird really, whenever they ask what I've done and for.ex I told them, I ran 5k in 25min the other morning, my other brother goes "hey I'll race u any day, and besides i bet u ran on a treadmill right? That doesn't count, treadmills are for p*****"
Right, thanks for the support!

I know what all of you mean but I have gotten to the stage of life where I feel free to tell the negative types to mind their own business and will ask "what the F is it to you, anyway?" :explode:

My little brother doesn't think he's being negative. He's been to so many Tony Robbin's seminars (some at $6K) and has been completely brainwashed on how to think, and how to reply to those who disagree. He won't accept that there's any other way than his, and won't accept that what he's paid thousands of dollars for a little pop-psychology, some recycled behaviorism and genius marketing. A big part of Tony's program is making sure those who were dumb enough to pay for this seminar come to the next one, and the next one, and so on. Both of my brothers have way more confidence and self-importance than me, more than is healthy, I think. I don't want to be ANYTHING like them. Ever. Except for health wise. Why can't it be simple? I get way more motivation from the girls who make my coffee.

I don't think your brothers suffer from self-confidence so much as it sounds like they have an over-inflated ego or egomaniac. Or even perhaps a Godlike complex!! They think (merely in their heads) that they are the gods gift to everything under the sun. This is the impression that Tony Robbins has always given me when I see him on television, total egomaniac. I guess he just passes it along to his cult of followers.


You seem very grounded in reality and your own earthly limitations, whatever confidence you build up I do not believe you will end up as an egomaniac drinking the same kool-aid as your brothers.

Just think of it this way, your brothers are sheep being led by the nose by Mr. Robbins. Cult like followers at the altar of Mr. Robbins. I think you are much stronger than that, you don't have to follow anyone merely do what your heart and head tell you.

Family is never simple. I wish I could get my parents involved in this weightloss adventure with me. My mom is diabetic and my father has a pacemaker / defibrillator in his chest and is bordering on 300lbs. I bought a recumbent bike and have offered it up to my father to use any time he wants. Mom is iron deficient I made a salad full of leafy greens, which included spinach (high in iron) and what does she do? She makes her own salad with just regular lettuce and cherry tomatoes, which had nothing high in iron about it.... and she complains that the doctor is making her take iron supplements. *sigh* family!!

You know I feel you! You just posted a link to this thread on my thread about the same ****! I have no idea what to do. The consensus on my thread seems to be to talk to my sister, but we don't have a normal sister/sister relationship. She judges the ever-loving hell out of me on all fronts and I would never get anywhere with her, or someone like her. I don't know what else to say here but that I giggled at your brothers priorities, because they are likely totally accurate, and well, they're so unlike your own. Who knows. I guess we just keep truckin' down our own path, even if that means going "solo" as far as family goes. Good luck to you. I'm adding you.