Have to VENT/Encouragment PLEASE

Well, your weight is about you and no one else. I think your husband is just trying to share and be polite. Maybe he feels guilty eating in front of you and figures he has a pass to do what he wants if he's asked you first. Saying know is up to you. Life throws options it's up to you to make the right choice. Be proud of yourself. That's what matters. Not what other people think or notice.

dmb0174;

I think you are doing great this is from someone who was around 250lbs in the summer of 2008 after college peaked out weight wise at a nice 190, now back to 230lbs after getting that full-time job LOL ;-(. When I was the avereage un-employed college student I was in the gym ALL DAY lol, but now I'm facing the beast all over again. I don't have any kids, just engaged so your progress is great. It's hard for me to find time with working out now so I give you credit with a child and living married life. I do agree I work out with my fiancee so that is a big help, but you also have to be selfish and just worry about yourslef because you can fall into the trap. As far as people noticing me when I lost it the first time I didn't get "WOWs" until I got down to about 205-210lbs which was 40lbs for me, because by that time i had to by small clothes which fit me better because they weren't big looking so if your wearing the same clothing that may be it. When you lose that next 20 you will have to buy new gear which will force eyes on your new figure so just hang in there!!! You have my support.

I think a lot of people need a "buddy" to justify their own snacking, hence all the offers. You don't need that stuff! As long as you can say no they'll learn to stop asking.

I think this might absolutely be true for your hubby. I know that I am MUCH more likely to splurge on unhealthy stuff if I have someone who will "split it with me". Maybe your hubby wants it and he just doesn't want to feel like a hog, but he doesn't even realize how hard he's making it for you. As for those friends and whatnot, there are all types. But I've found that I really just have to focus on me, and when I need it, my MFP community. If you can sustain a healthy lifestyle on your own, you probably won't be able to make it last. But, still, it sucks. *hugs*

Keep up the fantastic work, and congrats on the amazing loss so far!!

Just my 2 cents! First I have 2 small children that have bedtime snacks every night or they are up at midnight starved. So every night I have to make the choice not to eat whatever it is they are having. Sometimes dad makes them popcorn, or there is muffins, cookies, you name it for them to choose from. Most the time I have to use a little mental trick and tell myself that I can have those treats just not so late at night, so if I still want it, I give myself permission to have it the next day for one of my normal snacks. By then I normal don't want to have it anyway . Sometimes I just eat it and log it if I just can't seem to get it out of my head afterall I am a living breathing chocolate loving human being! I also stash hershey's kisses in the cupboard (in the top out of sight) to have one if I just can't seem to get the need for a chocolatey snack out of my head, one of those and I am usually good

As for the friend always trying to bake for you, I am sometimes guilty of that too, but only because I love to bake and know that me nor my family need to eat an entire pan of brownies or cake. I know sometimes they don't like it, but I hate to throw it away. Just keep saying no thanks or if that doesn't work, take it and give it to someone else or throw it away if it is too tempting.

Keep at it, eventually everyone will see you are serious about changing your life and will hopefully want to support you or even join you!

It's been 12 years since I adopted a healthier lifestyle (and 60lbs down!), and only now are the people around me finally starting to understand. I think it's more the society we grew up in: every event/activity/celebration has centered around food, so people are conditioned to believe that food is the way to say "thanks", or "good job", or even "I love you". They're not doing it on purpose or to be mean (and I honestly don't believe it's a jealousy thing when it comes to family and friends; these people love you!), I think they just don't realize the effort it takes to change. My biggest issue is when everyone says "go ahead and have some: it's Christmas". You know what? It's always something! Birthday, Christmas, Summer Vacation, Easter - you name it and people have an excuse to eat! Just keep focusing on you and stay strong. It may take another decade, but eventually the people around you will realize this is the new you and not some phase you are going through! Good Luck!!

It can be very frustrating when your spouse isn't on the same page as you when it comes to losing weight/eating healthy. I'm trying to lose pregnancy weight and I'm 40 and it's hard! My husband is a thin guy and can eat just about anything (and does) and doesn't gain weight. I can work out daily and eat healthy and drop a few pounds here and there, but he never works out and eats junk all the time and stays thin. Fortunately he doesn't offer me junk to eat, but his idea to lose weight is to eat chicken and broccoli every day Have you sat your husband down and told him you need his support, that you're really trying hard and need him to back off on pushing food on you? As long as you're not limiting what he eats, he shouldn't care what you eat, as long as you are eating. Explain to him that you aren't happy with yourself the way you are and you're doing this for YOU and if you're happier, he'll be happier too!

As for your friend, it sounds like she isn't ready to do this yet and she's jealous that you are and wants to make herself feel better by having you join her rather than her joining you.

Your husband may not notice the loss as much because he sees you daily. Maybe look at some pics with him when you were heavier and I'm sure he'll notice the difference. Good luck to you! You're doing great! And if you need support, come here and get it. Some people are just not capable of supporting others, especially if they haven't struggled with it themselves.

I think the explanation is actually very simple. When people go on very restrictive diets, it basically puts everyone around them on a very restrictive diet that they didn't sign up for. My friend's wife, who is a healthy weight, exclaimed to me the other day, "Ugh, I don't think I'll eat a burger ever again!" She's frustrated because she's been forced to be put on a diet to be supportive and can't have some of the tastier things in life that she enjoys responsibly (because she's obviously a healthy weight).

I know that it kind of sucks to make food or go out to eat with people on the Atkins Diet or vegetarian/vegan. You have to go out of your way to make sure they have something that fits in your diet, and it may not be something you want. Normally, people won't complain about it here and there, but when people feel deprived for months I think some resentment could set in. Even I hate when people on diets or crazy workout plans try to make you feel guilty for skipping a days workout or making a bad choice in your diet here and there.

Personally, that's the biggest reason that I'm not having a super restrictive diet. I'll have ice cream, just a small portion size within my diet. I'll have a brownie, just a small piece within my diet. I'll have the kolaches at work for breakfast, but just one and I'll make up for it somewhere else. I'll go out to eat at work for lunch and get a healthy option or only eat half of my unhealthy choice. You talk about this not being a diet and being a lifestyle -- isn't that what a lifestyle is? Eating the things you like, but responsibly? You're never going to eat ice cream again in your life? You're never going to have pizza again in your life? In my opinion, that's unrealistic and that's what leads to binges and to setbacks.

My caveat here is that I'm a very big people-pleaser and I'm always overly-worried about how I'm affecting people. I may be over-stating some things -- but, at the same time you didn't marry your husband because he was some selfish or unsupportive person. Maybe he is everything that you signed up for and you haven't been meeting him half way.

Hey i know how u feel!!!! your not alone!!! i live home with my mother and she buys nothing but junk food and she knows im tryin to eat healthy! and as goes for my brother he brings home junk food too...its hard not to eat it but...i pick at it but NOT alot of it!!! i just had a baby 2 1/2 years ago and i been since january tryin to work it off its coming off slowly...but thats what u want the slower it come off the better... cuz if u loose to much in a short period of time you'll gain it back really quick!!! I WANt to get back to my skinny jeans back to my high school weight!!! lol.... BTW 20 lbs is alot for someone thats beenn wanting too loose weight for awhile so IM PROUD OF U!!! :-) i wanna loose atleast 25-30 more i work out on the ellipitical almost every night i love it!!!. not alotta ppl say anythin to me either except "its looks like you lost weight in the face" thats all



don't worry ur not winning!!! :-)

I love all the advice on here. It's reminded me, it's okay to be a little self-focused because you are the one that has to live in your body and your life. Also, sometimes you just have to have "the talk" with your loved ones and they realize that what you are doing is making you happier and healthier and that's exactly what they want you to be. And it's also a reminder that what other people do doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you or your goals, it's just what they are doing, just like the stuff you do isn't always focused on everyone else (right?). I'm the worst for forgetting to focus on myself and putting my unhappiness at other people's feet. It's good to to have reminders that you are responsible for your own happiness. Sometimes it's just a matter of looking a little closer at your plans and seeing where you can be flexible and still reach your goals.

..... last time my fiancée brought home croissants I burst into tears and ran out of the room! I truly don’t' think he ever got how hard it was for me until that moment, he's never done it again!

That's awesome. Sometimes you really have to send a direct message and it looks like that one worked!