You're Getting too Skinny?

carcar03
carcar03 Posts: 23 Member
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
Once I began my weight loss journey and my friends/family/co-workers have started to notice that I'm losing weight, I've been receiving comments such as, "you are getting too skinny", "where did your butt go?", "I think you need to start eating more" , "why are you working out so hard?" etc.

Although I try my best not to let such comments discourage me, they make me feel uncomfortable, like I am under scrutiny for trying to change my appearance, diet and lifestyle. I cannot even eat my lunch at work without someone asking, “Are you on a diet?”

Has anyone else had similar experiences?
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Replies

  • EmilyJ1979
    EmilyJ1979 Posts: 144 Member
    Only from my mum :smile:
  • ambermichk
    ambermichk Posts: 108 Member
    i have NEVER in my life heard those words, and i am pretty sure i never will......... darn it being obese
  • BobbyDaniel
    BobbyDaniel Posts: 1,459 Member
    Oh yeah...i posted a similar topic last week. You are not alone in this and it comes down to you doing what is best for your health. If you are doing things the right way, eating right and exercising, try not to let the opinions of others bother you too much.
  • namrettik
    namrettik Posts: 127
    Once I began my weight loss journey and my friends/family/co-workers have started to notice that I'm losing weight, I've been receiving comments such as, "you are getting too skinny", "where did your butt go?", "I think you need to start eating more" , "why are you working out so hard?" etc.

    Although I try my best not to let such comments discourage me, they make me feel uncomfortable, like I am under scrutiny for trying to change my appearance, diet and lifestyle. I cannot even eat my lunch at work without someone asking, “Are you on a diet?”

    Has anyone else had similar experiences?


    I think this might have to do with "normal" now being in the overweight range in the US.

    Same thing is happening with our pets; when people now see a healthy pet, they think it's starving because we overfeed anything alive over here!
  • tarazena
    tarazena Posts: 93 Member
    No because I am far from "Being too skinny". Perhaps the people saying this feel uncomfortable about their own size and feel their own guilt by watching you be healthy, changing your body and eating healthy food. Ignore their silly comments. The food part...I get comments all the time at work because I eat alot of raw/vegan food or grains and things that they don't know. I tell them what it is and how great I feel..it is annoying though. Watch them eat their unhealthy lunch and grin inside that you have made the choice for a better life.
  • bhb301
    bhb301 Posts: 338 Member
    Yes my husband hates that my butt is smaller. But I told him Its my body, and Im in a healthy weight range for my height and age
  • Jiverson1
    Jiverson1 Posts: 5 Member
    Yes, and it is annoying. Every time I lose any weight at all, my family says things like that. I lost 12 lbs last year and they all thought I was starving myself but I was just eating good and getting throwing in some jogging. I unfortunately gained it back this year, but I am determined that this is the last time I am getting into shape and staying that way! I have lost 10 lbs total (2 since joining the site).
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
    Im starting to get those comments too . . . the last one yesterday was from a co worker who asked if I was "done yet" because she felt I was small enough now.
    Most people are scared of change and only consider how it will effect them so I tend to just smile and make a noncommital response and ignore them.
  • Chantelle160
    Chantelle160 Posts: 127
    I get it all the time from lots of people. Drives me crazy. I just tell them yes I have lost alot of weight but I was extremely unhealthy. My sister is the worst for comments about my apparent saggy butt, and boobs. Just ignore them. Do what makes you happy it's your body and you have to look good for you not anyone else. Keep up the great work. In the end it's about being healthy not skinny.
  • ramius
    ramius Posts: 91
    Well I only hope to get to where I hear those comments.. but yes I do get the amazed looks about "are you on a diet" -- I say yes of course I am look at my flab :) -- what I have gotten in the past is people who for one reason or another want to sabatoge what you're doing when you try to eat and be healthy -- those are the people I try to stay away from...

    I think of it this way.. you know I'm doing this for myself and my family so I don't care what others think.. and I also think that remember regardless of what size you are or how you look there are people out there that will look at you and say that they wish they were the size or looked the way you do..

    Example :: someone that is 300lbs looks at someone 200lbs and says to themselves I wish I at least looked like that...

    So perhaps these people that you are talking to are ribbing you but really envious of your progress and lifestyle change..
  • lindsaylove07
    lindsaylove07 Posts: 444 Member
    This happened to my mom, but she really was getting to be "too skinny" and people she worked with called her anorexic, which she wasn't. She had gotten to a point in her weight loss where she started to look unhealthy, and for a time it did look like she had an eating disorder. What she did was went to her weight watchers people, and a doctor friend (people she trusted to give her a straightforward answer) and asked them what they thought, she ended up putting back on 5 more pounds and looked SO MUCH HEALTHIER!

    Some of the people that were saying these things to her, were just mean and jealous that she was changing her life and her body for the better and they could not. I think you have to look at who is saying this to you, and how they are putting it. If they are coming to you as a friend who is worried about you, then listen. If they are coming to you as an acquiantance that sees you occasionally and sounds kind of jealous, I would put it on the back burner and turn off the heat!
  • Lewzy
    Lewzy Posts: 54 Member
    Yes and I'm absolutely sick of it. I've lost 42lbs in the last few months and at first i got complimented etc but still, even when my BMI was still classed as 'overweight' people would tell me I'm getting too skinny. It's ridiculous. I am slim now i know but there's a difference between being slim and skinny. I actually find it insulting when people ask me am I eating enough/am I starving myself. It's so disrespectful. Of COURSE I am!
  • SteelersFan7
    SteelersFan7 Posts: 217 Member
    Tell me about it. I've lost close to 45 lbs total and people are always commenting on it. They act as if I'm not looking at myself more and already criticizing the way I look more because of the extra attention to detail that naturally comes with a healthier lifestyle. Unfortunately they don't see these as annoying comments. They think that it's their subtle way of joking about your weight loss. It can be discouraging, especially when certain comments sound like someone else's attempt to sabotage your attempt to build better habits. Over the past 2 years I've found that those comments never stop coming. Just try to focus on the truly positive feedback you receive from people who support your efforts completely and possibly know the challenge you've take on.

    Keep your head up.
  • mangorabbit
    mangorabbit Posts: 219 Member
    I ended up in Shanghai for 6 months for work, the last three I was there I got into a REALLY good groove and was rockin' out at the gym, some strength and a fair amount of swimming. I got a lot of positive feedback from coworkers upon my return to the states, but some kind of the same 'You are too...' from some family and the SO, which was really rough. (And O promtly stopped working out and regained all that shed weight and then some...boo.)

    I understand that there is a line between healthy and obsessed with thin, but I really think that sometimes people get a little spazzy when we are still well on the healthy side of that line.

    Sometimes it is a surprised note about the changes we have made, sometimes it is a bit of envy that we have the willpower/determination/guts to do what we want.

    Try to be honest with yourself, about where you are, but don't be afraid to call people on their crap if you are tired of it.

    'Are you on a DIET?!' Easiest answer is 'No. I am finding a healthy lifestyle.' (Or 'No, I am making the vegetable kingdom suffer.')

    Remember to laugh at yourself and others, life is too silly to be taken completely seriously.
    Do what you want for you. YOU are the boss of you, not others.

    Live the dream!

    ...Of course, there are the days when the first response to hand is often 'Nope. I gave up eating...too much time and effort!' ...apparently NOT the right answer, even in jest. Who knew?!
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
    I think people have gotten used to you being a certain size so once they see you shrinking, they comment on it. Instead of saying, you look great, they express concern. Don't take it to heart. Keep going toward your goal :)
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
    I hear that all the time now and I am about 13 lbs away from my goal. I think it has to do with people getting "used to" the way we look at the heavier weight so any substantial loss makes quite a difference. We start looking better and people see the changes then when we keep losing I think it makes them panic....like "whoa wait a minute...what are you doing? You can't change too much!" I think it literally makes people uncomfortable.

    All the "you are too skinny" comments used to annoy me but now I just kind of brush them off. If anything, I am very muscular now and very healthy so I know I am not putting myself in danger. I feel the best I have ever felt in my life.

    The only comments that aggravate me at the present time are when people say, "you are soooo pretty NOW!"...well gee thanks....I didn't realize I was ugly before. LOL

    When somone says anything like "are you on a diet?" when they see what I am eating I simply reply with, "no, I am a healthy eater and I am doing something good for my body". This kind of turns it around on them without being rude. A lot of times this will open up a conversation about nutrition with people who are looking to make a change.....or even open up a conversation about trying new foods/recipes.
  • abyssfully
    abyssfully Posts: 410 Member
    Before I became pregnant and gained this baby weight, at one point I was 128-132 at my smallest. I was very, very fit and healthy. I had tonnes of comments like the ones you're describing! And you know what? Who cares what they think. You know you're doing this for all the right reasons and you know that you're becoming more and more healthy every.single.day. Sometimes people are jealous, sometimes they don't understand why you're losing weight because they've never been in that situation, etc. Just keep trucking along! You're doing great!
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    I haven't gotten the "too skinny" comments yet but I do get a lot of diet related questions. People ask "what diet are you on?" or "can you eat that on your diet?" I know they don't mean it condescendingly but I hate the "d" word so much! I tell them I am not on a diet. I just eat what is good for me and I eat smaller portions. Its not a diet thing, its a healthy thing. Why does this baffle so many people?! I recently got made fun of because of eating turkey and bringing my own turkey burgers and sandwich thins to a picnic. I just politely said "this turkey has gotten me 37 lbs lighter and a lot healthier, keep laughing all you want but I'm the one who will have the last laugh!" Smiled, and took a big delicious bite out of my sandwich. :bigsmile:

    I am sure when I get close to my goal weight I will those comments. Its like people start to think you are getting too crazy about losing weight and they think your being unhealthy. Sometimes its not about clothes sizes but over all body health. You can be skinny and not have a good BMI or you can be skinny and not be toned. I think they make these comments because they are doubting their own bodies. Either they are too unhealthy and just want you to stay on that wagon with them or they might be jealous that you are going to look better than them if they are the skinny ones. Whatever though. Keep rocking on with your HEALTHY LIFESTYLE....you'll get the last laugh in the end.
  • thesimsisters
    thesimsisters Posts: 73 Member
    I can sooo relate to this. I have finally learned how to respond to the "you look great" type compliments as it took me a long time to be comfortable with those and sometimes I still shrug them off with a "thanks, it's a work in progress" type of response. I'm better with family and friends compliments and can proudly tell how many pound etc. But I'm not sure really how to handle these new comments of "you don't want to lose too much weight" or "you're skinny enough" or "you don't need to lose anymore weight."

    It's a totally new situation, a good one in some ways obviously, but when you get there it is a strange predicament and a tad annoying. I have a healthy goal in mind and it's even on the high end of my healthy range. My goal is 150, but I want to do about 145 to get out of the "overweight" BMI for my body type. I could possibly go lower, but truthfully I haven't been this small since I was a teen and I am just going by how happy I am with my looks kind of thing. I'm toning/strength training and changing my muscle mass so it truly is a work still in progress. I'm trying to lose fat and I'm going to focus more on that once I get to 145 than the actual number. And it does get annoying to hear that I don't want to lose too much weight because it is kind of a back-handed insult against what I've been working so hard to do all this time. So it is off-putting to say the least.
  • thesimsisters
    thesimsisters Posts: 73 Member
    I haven't gotten the "too skinny" comments yet but I do get a lot of diet related questions. People ask "what diet are you on?" or "can you eat that on your diet?" I know they don't mean it condescendingly but I hate the "d" word so much! I tell them I am not on a diet. I just eat what is good for me and I eat smaller portions. Its not a diet thing, its a healthy thing. Why does this baffle so many people?! I recently got made fun of because of eating turkey and bringing my own turkey burgers and sandwich thins to a picnic. I just politely said "this turkey has gotten me 37 lbs lighter and a lot healthier, keep laughing all you want but I'm the one who will have the last laugh!" Smiled, and took a big delicious bite out of my sandwich. :bigsmile:

    I get this all the time. The whole "can you have this/that" "what diet are you on" and even if I decided to have a higher calorie item at a work party for a treat...the whole "oh, Bridgette's falling off the wagon!" It's really amazing how people watch what you have every moment now that I've lost so much weight, it's like the same problem when I was 250 pounds. People always watching what I'm having to eat, how much, etc! Then and most coworker party's (we party too much here) they want to have a pizza party a lot for someone's b-day, so I bring my own item to eat instead of the pizza, then just something else for everyone to share. So I get a lot of comments and looks about that too.

    So I love your attitude :) I'm going to work on this and rock it out myself I think!
  • isabelk
    isabelk Posts: 153 Member
    I say it is on doctor's orders and necessary for my job, health insurance and life insurance. Blame them!
  • SheliaN1960
    SheliaN1960 Posts: 454 Member
    Yes, I know what you mean and then I have those that say....that is not on your diet!!!! You can not HAVE that!!! Isn't it amazing that all of them are such experts on it now? This is one of those times that I do the positive self talk!!! Best wishes!!!
  • dmoses
    dmoses Posts: 786 Member
    I get this all the time, and it drives me INSANE! I didn't lose this weight for anyone but myself, and I am the healthiest and happiest I have been in years. At first, when people made these comments, I would find myself justifying eating just one more slice of pie, cake, whatever. I realized that I couldn't let the words sabotage my weight loss. They will eventually stop with the skinny comments, but it still comes up every now and then. Do it for YOU!
  • ontheskinnyroad
    ontheskinnyroad Posts: 205 Member
    This happened to my mom, but she really was getting to be "too skinny" and people she worked with called her anorexic, which she wasn't. She had gotten to a point in her weight loss where she started to look unhealthy, and for a time it did look like she had an eating disorder. What she did was went to her weight watchers people, and a doctor friend (people she trusted to give her a straightforward answer) and asked them what they thought, she ended up putting back on 5 more pounds and looked SO MUCH HEALTHIER!

    Some of the people that were saying these things to her, were just mean and jealous that she was changing her life and her body for the better and they could not. I think you have to look at who is saying this to you, and how they are putting it. If they are coming to you as a friend who is worried about you, then listen. If they are coming to you as an acquiantance that sees you occasionally and sounds kind of jealous, I would put it on the back burner and turn off the heat!

    totally agree
  • DK30096
    DK30096 Posts: 59 Member
    I know some of you find that annoying and uncomfortable and I totally understand....BUT I would LOVE LOVE LOVE someone to say I'm getting to skinny :-) when I hear those words I will know I have reached my goal hahaha. BUt I do think it's rude for people to comment on your food at lunch. I mean come on how much do you have to eat for them to mind their own business!
  • alyssa83202
    alyssa83202 Posts: 334
    This happened to my mom, but she really was getting to be "too skinny" and people she worked with called her anorexic, which she wasn't. She had gotten to a point in her weight loss where she started to look unhealthy, and for a time it did look like she had an eating disorder. What she did was went to her weight watchers people, and a doctor friend (people she trusted to give her a straightforward answer) and asked them what they thought, she ended up putting back on 5 more pounds and looked SO MUCH HEALTHIER!

    Some of the people that were saying these things to her, were just mean and jealous that she was changing her life and her body for the better and they could not. I think you have to look at who is saying this to you, and how they are putting it. If they are coming to you as a friend who is worried about you, then listen. If they are coming to you as an acquiantance that sees you occasionally and sounds kind of jealous, I would put it on the back burner and turn off the heat!
    I definitely agree with this!
  • tak123
    tak123 Posts: 32 Member
    Oh my gosh I am SO GLAD this topic got started. I thought I was the only one this happened to! Aarg it annoyed me so much and even made me feel bad! People would say "Oh...you look so skinny." And it wasn't a compliment. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong. This happened last time I lost a lot of weight and unfortunately I took it personally. This time when it happens I'm going to try not to, and remember what you all said on here. You're all so right, people just freak out when you change.
  • carcar03
    carcar03 Posts: 23 Member
    Yes, I know what you mean and then I have those that say....that is not on your diet!!!! You can not HAVE that!!! Isn't it amazing that all of them are such experts on it now? This is one of those times that I do the positive self talk!!! Best wishes!!!

    This is something that I have also experienced. If I allow myself to have a treat (example: a co-worker bakes something personally for me and I would feel like a complete jerk if I did not at least taste it!), I get the comments such as "I thought you were on a diet/ I guess you're no longer on a diet".

    People can be so destructive at times without even knowing it. Although some of the time it is just innocent, I truly believe once people notice that you're changing your appearance and becoming healthier (especially the women I work with), they attempt to sabotage your confidence. They will not hesitate to tell you that you have put on some weight, but once you lose it, they're not happy with that either...

    That’s why I’m primarily focused on making myself happier and shutting out the negativity!
  • HannahPastoor
    HannahPastoor Posts: 303
    Watch them eat their unhealthy lunch and grin inside that you have made the choice for a better life.

    Haha...I do that too. I know I shouldn't but inside I just feel so good making the healthy choice that I can't help grinning. I am sure I have gotten some weird looks, sitting eating my food with a big smile on my face. Its almost like a challenge. Eat better then the person next to you : )
  • Kat120285
    Kat120285 Posts: 1,599 Member
    Only time I got these comments was when I was 108 pounds with not a lot of muscle. Now I'm safely on my way back down to 110 but have built some great muscle and get comments from guys on how toned my arms are.
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