The White Knuckled Life Change

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callipygianchronicle
callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
in Motivation and Support
[I have been thinking about this for a while, and today I have just decided to write it down and share it here.]

Are you white knuckling your life change?

What does that mean?

White knuckling is when we do something that scares us. When we go through the motions, even though we don’t believe we our safe.

It’s when you take a flight, but are afraid of flying. You spend the entire time up in the air, not enjoying the view, but tightly gripping your armrest until all the blood drains from your knuckles.

Your weight-loss journey is a flight to a new destination. Are holding onto it tightly with both hands—obsessing over every calorie, and workout, running in fear from food?

Are you afraid of what would happen if you let go of the armrest? Have you looked out the window and seen how high you’ve flown? Have taken a second to enjoy the miracle of your flight?

What if you decided it was okay to enjoy this ride? What if you decided that it was okay that you were once afraid to fly, while acknowledging that you’re flying? Could you talk openly about your starting weight? Could you take a photograph that showed your stretch marks?

What would happen if you didn’t jump on that scale every day? Or even every week? If you didn’t punish yourself with a workout, simply because you ate a meal you enjoyed? What if you chose to do exercise that made you feel free and happy, regardless of how many calories it burned?

What would you receive, if you opened your hands to the possibility of being Enough?

If you believed you were okay, right now, Today? What if you decided that you could be imperfect and still be successful? If you didn’t endlessly analyze exercise calories? If you didn’t hate yourself for having belly fat? If you didn’t fear lose skin, smaller breasts, or more wrinkles on your face? What if you didn’t feel guilt over anything you ate? What if you ate more than 1200 calories?

What would this journey look like if you could let it be?

Would you be able to open your hands?

Would you be able to take flight?
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Replies

  • mmilloy
    mmilloy Posts: 2
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    Beautiful!!! How I wish I could get to that place...but alas I am still white knuckling it.
  • alliecore
    alliecore Posts: 446 Member
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    Very beautifully said!!!!!
    Thank you!:flowerforyou:
  • deannarey13
    deannarey13 Posts: 452
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    Great post!
  • xlacijeanx
    xlacijeanx Posts: 232 Member
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    Thank you for sharing this! Beautifully said!
  • pandafoo
    pandafoo Posts: 367 Member
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    very beautifully written, yolanda! thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! i've always thought of you as a poet, by the way. :)
  • 1FitMomof4Girls
    1FitMomof4Girls Posts: 202 Member
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    Bravo!
  • mamafoofer
    mamafoofer Posts: 60
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    Perfectly stated, thank you! I'm prettty much white knuckling everything these days. My white knuckling makes me have mini breakdowns, where I eat poorly or skip exercise because I get afraid that I am doing well! I'm also making a huge change, getting ready to start my pre'req's for a degree program at an "older age" and in program that I really want but am not sure I can accomplish. I am "going through the mothions even though I don't feel safe" about it. Thank you for writing this :flowerforyou:
  • Newfiedan
    Newfiedan Posts: 1,517 Member
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    great post.
  • Raynamama
    Raynamama Posts: 480 Member
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    Wow thanks for posting =):flowerforyou:
  • ccaym
    ccaym Posts: 86
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    Have you looked out the window and seen how high you’ve flown? Have taken a second to enjoy the miracle of your flight?

    Love this. Thank you!
  • labgirl3
    labgirl3 Posts: 171 Member
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    Yolanda, as usual, your posts have a way of resounding with me. There is something about the way you write that manages to capture my thoughts or to ask the questions I'm too afraid to ask myself.

    I'm putting this on my iPhone so I can read it until I feel comfortable letting go and flying. Thank you, my friend! :flowerforyou:
  • ProudMomoftwo
    ProudMomoftwo Posts: 525
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    :flowerforyou: wonderful post
    Still flapping my wings but haven't taken off yet
  • florange323
    florange323 Posts: 50 Member
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    Very creative and beautifully written. I'm still white knocking but I upgraded from coach to 1st class.=)
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    Love it!
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    On the same page, we are. Understandably, since we're on each other's respective FL. Haha. Great perspective. I approve. :flowerforyou:
  • NotAllWhoWanderAreLost
    NotAllWhoWanderAreLost Posts: 615 Member
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    :heart: :heart: :heart: I love it! And i have to say, for the most part, i am flying free! I love this journey and all of its twists and turns. I find that my HEAD is getting to a healthy place along with my body :)


    BUT, I'm not sure i am ready to SHARE the photos i took that show my stretch marks though l:laugh:
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Thought-provoking. I'm a little stressed right now because I'm taking two of my kiddos out to eat and to a concert and they haven't chosen a restaurant yet. I want to be able to start mentally preparing for the menu. But, I'm just going to fly. Thank-you.
  • spackham
    spackham Posts: 252 Member
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    I am half white-knuckled and half free. I love it when I feel free. Weight loss IS fun, super fun. Exercise is a joy. Staying within calories is easy. A meal out is enjoyed and appreciated. I feel that it IS my lifestyle and not something I am trying to live. And when I feel white-knuckled... I don't want to think about the lose skin and more wrinkles. But I don't care because I want to be FREE!
  • cmw9696
    cmw9696 Posts: 123
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    very nicely written! thanks so much!
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
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    Thanks guys. I’m glad it’s resonating. I am still a very clumsy bird. Some days every one of my feathers fall out and my wings won’t lift off the ground.

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