was I rude?

clewliss
clewliss Posts: 640 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Okay, I've been doing really good for this first week on my journey and I'm so excited to be actually looking forward to exercising on a daily basis! Well, I get home last night and I had already made up my mind that my evening was going to be like this: walk in the door, get the supper going, throw in a load of laundry and hit the trails, come back take a shower, eat and go to church. So I had a lot going on, but taking my hike was one of the top priorities before church! I get to the point of getting my shoes on and stepped out the door and..........we had company! :sick: They had just pulled in for a visit and my hubby was talking to them, so I thought a quick "hey how are you" and I'd be on my way- they kept staying and finally my hubby says, well, I know you want to walk and politely as the company if they would like some tea- they said "no, we need to be going" and I was thinking "YES YOU DO!!!" Anyway, I wanted to get that hike in so bad and I did! I had to rush like all get out, but it got done. I felt great afterwards and I didn't mean to act "rushed" in front of the company, but once again...I have to do this for me whether folks understand or not. Was I rude? I hope not!! (My husband was helping me out, so he may have been more than me) ha. I hate the doorbell or phone ringing just when I've made my mind up to do something, but I'm ever grateful for friends! Just hope they understood.

Replies

  • clewliss
    clewliss Posts: 640 Member
    Okay, I've been doing really good for this first week on my journey and I'm so excited to be actually looking forward to exercising on a daily basis! Well, I get home last night and I had already made up my mind that my evening was going to be like this: walk in the door, get the supper going, throw in a load of laundry and hit the trails, come back take a shower, eat and go to church. So I had a lot going on, but taking my hike was one of the top priorities before church! I get to the point of getting my shoes on and stepped out the door and..........we had company! :sick: They had just pulled in for a visit and my hubby was talking to them, so I thought a quick "hey how are you" and I'd be on my way- they kept staying and finally my hubby says, well, I know you want to walk and politely as the company if they would like some tea- they said "no, we need to be going" and I was thinking "YES YOU DO!!!" Anyway, I wanted to get that hike in so bad and I did! I had to rush like all get out, but it got done. I felt great afterwards and I didn't mean to act "rushed" in front of the company, but once again...I have to do this for me whether folks understand or not. Was I rude? I hope not!! (My husband was helping me out, so he may have been more than me) ha. I hate the doorbell or phone ringing just when I've made my mind up to do something, but I'm ever grateful for friends! Just hope they understood.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Unexpected guests are rude, imho. :flowerforyou:
  • Carrie6o6
    Carrie6o6 Posts: 1,443 Member
    If they are good friends they should understand. I dont think you were rude but even if they do.. nobodies perfect! They should be understanding


    I really agree with the unexpected guests are rude. I always like to know ahead of time. But ah well
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    Unannounced visitors must know before hand that the people they're surprising may have plans, for Pete's sake-- you were gracious, in my opinion, to have stayed as long as you did. I think you're fine--
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    I think that if people pop in unexpectedly, they shouldn't expect you to change your plans to fit them.
  • Mireille
    Mireille Posts: 5,134 Member
    Unexpected guests are rude, imho. :flowerforyou:


    Next time I will call. :ohwell:
  • tsg177
    tsg177 Posts: 10
    I don't think you were rude. Especially if the company is unannounced. I never go to someones house without calling first. I just think that is the polite thing to do. You are definitely right that you have to do what is right for you first. I think that is where a lot of people have trouble. . . . YOU comes first. I find that people who do not have a weight issue do not understand but they don't have to they are not in your shoes. Next time it happens I would just say "Hi, how are you, thanks for stopping by but I am on my way out but feel free to stay and chat with Tom (my husband). I will call you and we can set up a time to get together. " This is what I would say. Who knows people may think that is rude too but stopping by unannounced is not right. When I have my mind set of things to do nothing gets in my way unless the kids need me. Hope this helps.

    Sandy :smile:
  • tsg177
    tsg177 Posts: 10
    I don't think you were rude. Especially if the company is unannounced. I never go to someones house without calling first. I just think that is the polite thing to do. You are definitely right that you have to do what is right for you first. I think that is where a lot of people have trouble. . . . YOU comes first. I find that people who do not have a weight issue do not understand but they don't have to they are not in your shoes. Next time it happens I would just say "Hi, how are you, thanks for stopping by but I am on my way out but feel free to stay and chat with Tom (my husband). I will call you and we can set up a time to get together. " This is what I would say. Who knows people may think that is rude too but stopping by unannounced is not right. When I have my mind set of things to do nothing gets in my way unless the kids need me. Hope this helps.

    Sandy :smile:
  • ChubbyBunny
    ChubbyBunny Posts: 3,523 Member
    Rudeness is in the eye of the beholder...

    I personally don't think you were any ruder then the uninvited guests, friends or not.
    Your spouse wasn't either, because he knew you had other comitments to attend to.

    However, if you are truly worried about it you could contact them and apologize for being rushed because you had so much to do. Which is honest, soothes their feelings if they were hurt, and helps settle your nerves.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    At this point in my life, I would have waved at them as I passed. " Call me, we will get together" Love YA!!!

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Unexpected guests are rude, imho. :flowerforyou:


    Next time I will call. :ohwell:

    Thanks! I thought you were my parole officer & panicked. :embarassed: Sorry about the burn. :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • connieq288
    connieq288 Posts: 1,102 Member
    I even make my kids call ahead of time if they want to go to a friends house or something like that. So no I do not think you were rude. I know how much better I feel after exercise so I would definately want to get my exercise going also.

    Connie
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    At this point in my life, I would have waved at them as I passed. " Call me, we will get together" Love YA!!!

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    :yawn:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    At this point in my life, I would have waved at them as I passed. " Call me, we will get together" Love YA!!!

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    :yawn:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • soup78
    soup78 Posts: 667 Member
    Oh man, I'm notorious for "droppin' by":blushing: ........

    But, I'm also not offended if my friends/family have a schedule that I interrupted and ask me to leave. I'd rather them be honest than just "have me" there.

    So, I don't think you were rude. You've got your life, let them go on their merry little way. :bigsmile:
  • dothompson
    dothompson Posts: 1,184 Member
    In my part of the country people who show up uninvited are rude, but I know that's not true everywhere and since you're thinking about this I have to guess that it's okay where you live.

    However, it was obvious that you were just leaving so they took the clue. I think it was fine.

    Part of this health journey is learning that you have as much value as other people and you need to take care of yourself.
  • ohthatbambi
    ohthatbambi Posts: 1,098 Member
    People should call first. PERIOD! Only exception would be some type of emergency
  • JennyGetsFit
    JennyGetsFit Posts: 263 Member
    who cares?

    You got you WO done - that's what's important!

    Hee-hee.:laugh:
  • DjBliss05
    DjBliss05 Posts: 682
    I think for some of us, learning to be assertive is a big part of this process.

    I have a big old family that loves to eat. If I don't decide to pass on some events, then I will be 800lbs by the time they are done with me! It isn't easy to say no, especially to close friends or family, but it is absolutely necessary sometimes.

    This journey takes a lot of changes and learning to put yourself first is probably the hardest part! Sounds like you did EXACTLY what you needed to do! :flowerforyou: Give your DH a little slap upside the head for not helping you get out the door, heh.
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