Sad and Disappointed

jconner491
jconner491 Posts: 22
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm so frustrated with myself. I consider myself to be a pretty capable woman in general- I can handle a husband, four children, being in school full time...none of that is a problem! Heck, I even trained for and ran a half marathon, with several more races coming up. I can do it! Food is my problem. I just yo yo and yo yo, and some days I'm just so proud of myself and then other days I eat my family out of house and home. Then, of course, I'm always terribly upset when I didn't lose weight for that week. When I'm doing it, eating right, tracking calories, it all seems so simple and easy. But I feel powerless to stop it when that mental switch flips and all of a sudden success and being healthy is the farthest thing from my mind. I work very hard for my weight loss...the problem is that I always go right back behind myself and undo it. Why am I my own worst enemy??

Replies

  • susancelli928
    susancelli928 Posts: 190
    You and everyone else included. I just did the same thing last night eating doughnuts, chips, pretzels, etc. I beat myself up so bad. But then I realized that it is no one's fault by my own. I did this to myself I am the one who binged and I am the one who controls what I put in my mouth. I am my own destiny and only I can change it. So stop beating yourself up and realize you are human. It happens, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and move on
  • ladybug2020
    ladybug2020 Posts: 83 Member
    Don't have any advise but I am my own worst enemy too. I feel for you. Good Luck!
  • trish31769
    trish31769 Posts: 1
    I find that it helps if I don't have a lot of stuff I shouldn't eat in the house to begin with and have some healthier alternatives on hand. There are so many sensible "treats" out there now that will satisfy a quick craving and I make it a point to put them on the grocery list.

    My worst times for cravings is when I'm stressed out and/or depressed. I tend to "self-medicate" with food, especially chocolate. If I'm not getting what I need in other areas of my life, I try to use food to fill that void and it never works; I feel worse after than I did before. For me, being more social & spending time with people helps. If I'm alone at home too long & get to feeling low, I'll be looking for something to snack on before you know it.
  • McBoBo
    McBoBo Posts: 87
    We are all our worst enemy at some point in something in our lives. Try to stay ahead of yourself....throw away all the unhealthy food in your house!! I don't let it into mine...and if someone brings it and doesn't leave with it, I throw it away. I hang pictures of skinny me on my fridge...people say don't be so down on myself about my weight when I make lil fat jokes about myself--well FOR ME anyways, this works as a reminder that I can't stop! I look at my kids and think how horrible it would be if I had a bad health issue or stroke or heart attack in say 10 yrs if I didn't make a lifestyle change now..who would they stay with and how I would miss them. I know it's extreme and a little bit morbid..but if I don't this this seriously for myself then who will do it for me? That's what works for me. I also try not to reward myself until I have hit a major goal..don't ge me wrong..Peanut butter sneaks in more than it should but that is the worst thing I eat...b/c there is nothing else around my house! Hang in there...you're not alone.
  • tobitude
    tobitude Posts: 89 Member
    I have the exact same problems, sometimes it is hard to say no. If you ever need some extra support let me know.
  • McBoBo
    McBoBo Posts: 87
    I also forgot to say...I also look at my kids and am terrified of raising overweight/obese/fat kids. It's really up to me right now and until they can go shopping at the store themselves...I control what they eat and drink...no sodas...only watered down juices...no sweets (nilla wafers is the WORST thing they eat as far as sweets go)...I was an overweight kid and our country has such a weight problem that is effecting the kids younger and younger...no more than 1 happy meal a week..no fries sub apples w/ no CARAMEL sauce...What's the point of skipping the fries if you are going to coat the apples in caramel?!! It's infuriating how much outside sources effect us...So anyways..I don't buy anything at the store with the excuse that it's for the kids (not saying you do..I used to) so I will buy it...then I would end up eating the pop tarts too! We are all on a lifestyle change....diets end.
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    One of my most grounded MFP pals wrote a post today about binging that I think nails the heart of this issue. I’m sharing the link with you here, and hope you find something to connect with: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/sophiajackson99/view/the-binge-86705 .

    You know what you are capable of. You have tremendous power. And you can feel powerful over each and everything you put in your mouth. I know this. And when you know this in your core—not just think it—you will be unleashed.
  • SuperKatie
    SuperKatie Posts: 94 Member
    What I have found that really helps me, is to only keep food in the house that I can eat! So instead of that bag of potato chips, I'll eat some dried figs or prunes. . . if you only keep what you can eat around you, I promise it will help you succeed. Plus, I spend way less on groceries.
  • KTNemo
    KTNemo Posts: 100
    Why am I my own worst enemy??

    If only we had the answer to this particular question. Up until I met and married my husband, I was always active and thin. Shortly after getting married, I gained back the 40 lbs that I had lost when we were dating. I lost 20, gained it back, lost it again. Then I got pregnant. I was 40 lbs overweight when I got pregnant and gained 30 more during the pregnancy. I lost that all really fast, and then another 25. As soon as I stopped breastfeeding, I gained that 25 back in what seemed like a matter of a couple weeks. I was defeated, deflated, embarassed, and ashamed of myself.

    Why couldn't I make this work? Why couldn't I flip that switch back to eating balanced meals? Why could I not get off my butt and exercise? My baby is almost 2. Why am I still chubby?

    I would say that making it a point to log EVERYTHING, even if I massively binge has been really helpful. Taking the mindlessness out of eating has helped me to flip the switch. I still have days where I go way over my calorie allotment, but I log it. Then I take a good look at the numbers. And then I vow that tomorrow is another day. I have not let myself fall off the wagon for more than one day. It has been 35 days now. I am down 14 lbs. I have 21 more to go. I am going to do this, and so are you! Just take it one step at a time. Don't beat yourself up for your weakness. Instead, learn from it and move on. It is easier said than done, but you can and will succeed with the support here and with the support of your family! You've already lost 8 lbs. Jump back on the horse and keep it up!!
  • Sueboo31
    Sueboo31 Posts: 128
    I'm my own worst enemy too. I think most of us who find comfort in food when we are depressed or stressed have a hard time changing our habits. Obviously it would be better to go for a walk or pop in an exercise tape to deal but all I've ever done is turn to food. I don't expect to change over night but I'm working on it. The best advice I can give is get right back on track the next day. That is KEY!!!! You can do this!! :smile:
  • michelegbowman
    michelegbowman Posts: 195
    Is there a way for you to limit the food in your house?

    For example, tell the kids mom's on a diet and this is a good time for them to only have pretzels -- so you can keep non-fattening food around?

    Is it possible for you to cook "just enough" so that your family eats dinner and has no leftovers to tempt you?

    I swear i keep my kids' snacks in the trunk of my car.

    It helps. Outta sight outta mind.
  • JulieF11
    JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
    Dear Sad and Disappointed,
    I am so with you! I have found, however, that I am really hard on myself, too hard. I had a ritual of standing, just staring in the cabinet and then feeding myself comforting choices, my fall backs, when I didn't want to "feel" anything. I had heard people say that I must be emotional eating, but I disagreed. "I just want that comfort food cause it tastes so darn good" I thought to myself. I couldn't pinpoint what I was thinking about since I got hyper-focused on finding the right thing to eat, and then eating it... then I was so guilty feeling after eating, that I couldn't focus finding the problem or issue either. Lately, I've been praying that I recognize my "hyper-focus" and relax, try to figure out what the underlining thing I'm thinking about is...

    At first, I had to make something up that "might" be bothering me, now, after practice, I know right away. I can "feel" these uncomfortable feelings without turning to food for comfort. It's not as bad as I thought, actually facing my cruel thoughts. I'm way to hard on myself. What other people say doesn't hurt me so much anymore... and feeling discouraged about my choices from time to time is okay, I'm still me, I'm still trying and I'm proud of my progress. I no longer "binge" because I'm no longer packing away my frustrations. That's why I used to only be able to diet for short time periods... Eventually, my emotions got the best of me... I couldn't hold all that baggage without exploding. Now, I recognize myself as being okay. The choices I make are pretty good for the most part, and sure I'm make mistakes, but I am okay with being me. I am a giving, loving person who does the best I can.

    I hope this helps. I wish you success... and success will come when you are willing to face and "feel" your own harsh, critical thoughts that you may be hiding and packing away while hyper-focusing on "giving" to others (I am the ultimate volunteer), or "standing in front of the cabinet staring" or eating high carb and/or fat foods that give comfort. We naturally turn from pain, including painful thoughts. Allow yourself to "feel" uncomfortable feelings and you'll learn they aren't as bad as you may have thought.

    BTW - I was 60 pounds heavier at one time in my life... even though I have only lost 15 pounds since I joined MFP. It's been a long journey.
  • kdiamond
    kdiamond Posts: 3,329 Member
    I agree with the others - don't even keep it in the house - chances are you aren't going to go running out at 9pm to buy ice cream, but if its right in your kitchen you could easily make a bowl...it is pretty hard to binge on apples after all ;) And you know, we all get times where we feel like eating a ton for whatever reason, but if you have the right foods in the house maybe you can indulge a little without too much damage. This afternoon I was feeling hungry so I had a couple of kamut (like rice) cakes with pb, a greek yogurt and a package of almonds. It satisfed me and ended up only being a 300 calorie snack which I can definitely afford. :)
  • AllegraWilliams
    AllegraWilliams Posts: 34
    I used to do this: Starve myself for 3 days, then eat (LITERALLY) everything edible in the cupboards.

    It was a combination of emotional instability (with punishing myself for over eating by eating too little), and then finally breaking down and trying to be satisfied by eating too much. (When really I wasn't satisfied with my life, and food became my crutch of choice.) It didn't help at all that I was also insatiably hungry from eating too little the days before.

    1.) I still lack the self control to not eat a whole tub of icecream
    2.) I go out when I want an icecream cone, instead of buying a box that won't make it to the freezer.

    I think we all have our reasons for our eating habits, but you have to find little tricks around it. Trick yourself where you must, remember out-of-sight=out of mind, and DO NOT punish yourself by eating too little the next day. Keeping your blood sugar levels even might help you, being conscious of it has really helped me not eat too little... and in turn I don't binge eat nearly as often. ; )

    Good luck, and no matter what remember ... you are NOT the enemy.
  • B140
    B140 Posts: 56
    At first, I had to make something up that "might" be bothering me, now, after practice, I know right away. I can "feel" these uncomfortable feelings without turning to food for comfort. It's not as bad as I thought, actually facing my cruel thoughts. I'm way to hard on myself. What other people say doesn't hurt me so much anymore... and feeling discouraged about my choices from time to time is okay, I'm still me, I'm still trying and I'm proud of my progress. I no longer "binge" because I'm no longer packing away my frustrations. That's why I used to only be able to diet for short time periods... Eventually, my emotions got the best of me... I couldn't hold all that baggage without exploding. Now, I recognize myself as being okay. The choices I make are pretty good for the most part, and sure I'm make mistakes, but I am okay with being me. I am a giving, loving person who does the best I can.

    This is so true for me, too. It took a lot of emotional introspection to start loving myself enough to make the changes stick. One of my favorite things to think is "I'm doing the best me I can in each moment." (This thought frees me from the constant self-judgement and harsh self-criticism I used to practice.)
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