Your Most Hillarious "Fat" Story....
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eHarris
Posts: 160
Ok...so this can be anything you want it to be but I'm gonna start with this one...
Two days before my wedding, (in Tennessee) we stopped in to a local Super Walmart to get some snacks and lunch. Making our way back to the deli counter, I tell the lady working that I'd like to have some chicken wings. I order a dozen of one kind and a dozen of another. 24 chicken wings in all AND my husband was with me. (Now I'd like to preface the funny part by saying this...I was wearing and empire waist shirt that was somewhat low cut and I have fairly large chesticles lol) The woman looks at me and says "A dozen chicken wings, ok, that baby must be hungry huh?"
I stopped for a second and looked at my husband who was laughing his butt off. My next move was to try to pretend that I hadn't heard and get the heck outta there as quick as possible. As she's handing my food to me she asks......"How far along are you? Is this your first?" I almost died. My husband is rolling. I grabbed those chicken wings....put on my nicest smile....and said .
"Thanks......its our first..." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Two days before my wedding, (in Tennessee) we stopped in to a local Super Walmart to get some snacks and lunch. Making our way back to the deli counter, I tell the lady working that I'd like to have some chicken wings. I order a dozen of one kind and a dozen of another. 24 chicken wings in all AND my husband was with me. (Now I'd like to preface the funny part by saying this...I was wearing and empire waist shirt that was somewhat low cut and I have fairly large chesticles lol) The woman looks at me and says "A dozen chicken wings, ok, that baby must be hungry huh?"
I stopped for a second and looked at my husband who was laughing his butt off. My next move was to try to pretend that I hadn't heard and get the heck outta there as quick as possible. As she's handing my food to me she asks......"How far along are you? Is this your first?" I almost died. My husband is rolling. I grabbed those chicken wings....put on my nicest smile....and said .
"Thanks......its our first..." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Replies
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Ok...so this can be anything you want it to be but I'm gonna start with this one...
Two days before my wedding, (in Tennessee) we stopped in to a local Super Walmart to get some snacks and lunch. Making our way back to the deli counter, I tell the lady working that I'd like to have some chicken wings. I order a dozen of one kind and a dozen of another. 24 chicken wings in all AND my husband was with me. (Now I'd like to preface the funny part by saying this...I was wearing and empire waist shirt that was somewhat low cut and I have fairly large chesticles lol) The woman looks at me and says "A dozen chicken wings, ok, that baby must be hungry huh?"
I stopped for a second and looked at my husband who was laughing his butt off. My next move was to try to pretend that I hadn't heard and get the heck outta there as quick as possible. As she's handing my food to me she asks......"How far along are you? Is this your first?" I almost died. My husband is rolling. I grabbed those chicken wings....put on my nicest smile....and said .
"Thanks......its our first..." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Ouch, that is my worst fear! I totally carry all my weight in my belly, so I figure it is only a matter of time.
So for me, it was a big family barbeque. I actually think it was a company barbeque, so not only was half my family there, but everyone that works for my dad. I am sure there was a lot of food involved and of course, a pool! (EEK!) I'm sitting around minding my own business and all of a sudden the rusty old chair I am sitting on totally gives out from under my butt. I crash down in front of everyone.
Luckily, I was pretty young then, so when I took off crying no one thought I had lost my mind (well, I hope). My family was pretty amused, but I definitely wasn't!
I'm doing my best to make sure that the next time I fall through a chair (hey, it will probably happen again at some point) no one will think it is because I ate too much!0 -
OMG I would have been mortified!! But talk about an eye-opener....
but that right there my friend is why i stay as fas away from Emprie Waisted shirts, dresses etc for that simple reason~ I don't care how big or little you are they make you look prego!!0 -
my BF and i met some friends at a wing place for dinner a few months ago. and when the waiter asked if i wanted ranch or blue cheese i said, "sweetie, in case you havent noticed... i am a fat girl. i want BOTH! do i LOOK like i choose between sauces?????"
he, and everyone else at the table about choked on their laughter.0 -
Mine happened this morning...so I don't think it's funny yet..but my husband did!!!!
I put on a pair of jeans that had a very small hole near the pocket (weak spot!
) well I didn't worry because I was wearing a hoodie and it's just around the house. So I go to sit down and I can hear it RIP! I stand up and my whole cheek is just hanging out there (THANK GOD THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN SOMEWHERE ELSE!) and my husband starts laughing!
Well I'm ticked off because now I only have 2 pairs left that I can fit into and he manages to ask me "So MFP is really working? Hun?"0 -
awww you poor thing! I worked with a lady once who was very large....and had no intention of trying to loose weight. Every night she worked she would bring in dinner to eat when she got there, and she also ate at least $40 of sushi on her own that she would order later. And she only worked an 8-10 hour shift. One day she came in and kinda fell down into the chair, and the arms just fell off. Bolts went rolling everywhere. I know I shouldn't have laughed but...ohhh man was it funny. I will say ...I'm not cold hearted....this woman was awful....
She would stuff her mouth with sushi and answer the phone and spit fish all over it. :frown:
She openly and unabbashedly raised up to one side (IN THE OFFICE) and farted. :sick:
And when she got fired for what ever reason ...she sued the business for never getting a lunch break. :noway:0 -
I was at Supercuts, being sheared by a woman who admited she started out grooming dogs (I should have got up and ran at that point......) and this was around the time those "lingere" inspired tops were in and I was about 185 and no muscle tone....
We're sitting there, I'm 19....and she asks THE question. At first I didn't understand. "Due?? huh?" Then she asked again. I catch on, but I'm trying to let her figure out what she's asking.....is insane. Eventually, when she started to ask it in different words, I had to fill her in that I was just fat, not pregnant!!! Good lord! She tryed to tell me that when I stood up I didn't look preggers at all, just when I sat :noway: :grumble:
Yea, I went on a diet that day! (lost 30 pounsd....but they found me again...:grumble: )0 -
One day I had to pick up my grandson from Kindergarten. He came running out all excited and said, “Mimi, I know how to spell FAT. F-A-T,... Just like you. I was stunned, embarrassed & mortified because I was standing with many Moms & Dads. When I got to the car with my grandson I told him that was not a very nice thing to say . He sat back , put his hands up in the air, and said “Mimi just look at you.” …I had all I could do not to laugh. He was right! He is now 10 years old and I don’t want to be fat anymore.
:explode:0 -
awww you poor thing! I worked with a lady once who was very large....and had no intention of trying to loose weight. Every night she worked she would bring in dinner to eat when she got there, and she also ate at least $40 of sushi on her own that she would order later. And she only worked an 8-10 hour shift. One day she came in and kinda fell down into the chair, and the arms just fell off. Bolts went rolling everywhere. I know I shouldn't have laughed but...ohhh man was it funny. I will say ...I'm not cold hearted....this woman was awful....
She would stuff her mouth with sushi and answer the phone and spit fish all over it. :frown:
She openly and unabbashedly raised up to one side (IN THE OFFICE) and farted. :sick:
And when she got fired for what ever reason ...she sued the business for never getting a lunch break. :noway:
Good lord, that sounds like a woman I work with now!!
She's sweet, really, maybe a bit simple and well...I'm not going to bash her....
But what erks me is that she is diabetic. Has been, for a long time. So, by now, she should understand what foods she can/cannot eat, right? Every Monday, and I mean EVERY Monday, she calls in sick because she ate "something" that made her sick. And then she totes around McDonalds bags every day......
I pray that she will see the light before she hurts herself....:frown:0 -
Maybe I should have titled this your most hillarious "Are you pregnant?" story lol0
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few months ago....i was going to this BBQ for my husbands fire dept.
and i wore a halter dress/swimsuit cover up
and the captains wife...walks over to me and says oh your husband didnt tell us you guys were expecting baby number 4 and actually reaches out to touch my stomach....omg i was mortified!
i said well thats cause were not!!! she turns red and didnt say a word all night!0 -
I was photographing a wedding last summer and the groom's mother PATTED MY BELLY and said "Oh my goodness...when is this little sweetie due?" I was mortified! Everyone looked at me quizzically , waiting for my answer and the groom chimed in " MOTHER! She's not pregnant! Just leave her alone."
So the mom got huffy with her son and there was some tension. The worst part was that I was stuck there all day. No running away from that one. I cried a little in the bathroom and then sucked it up. Not really a funny story, but one I will never forget!:blushing:0 -
Maybe I should have titled this your most hillarious "Are you pregnant?" story lol
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
You know, when I was a little girl, I remember my mom coming home in tears because the pharmacist told her she couldn't take her meds when she was pregnant....which, of course, she wasn't. My father laughed. :grumble: :noway:
I guess if you're a woman with any weight in the "area", you're pregnant....0 -
I remeber hearing a comedian say once, that unless you see the baby's head coming out, you should never ask somebody if they're pregnant.0
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I remeber hearing a comedian say once, that unless you see the baby's head coming out, you should never ask somebody if they're pregnant.
So true!!!
This isn't my story, but my best friend was watching her new born niece during a wedding (walking the stroller around the reception area while her brother and sister-in-law mingled), and she was also wearing the dreaded empire-waist shirt. An old lady came up to her, rubbed my friend's belly and said "Is this where this little precious bundle came from?" :noway: My friend looked her straight in the eye, pointed to her sister-in-law across the room, and said, "No, this little bundle came from THAT stomach over there." The old lady hobbled outta there as quick as she could! :laugh:0 -
Going with the pregnancy motif...
After emergency stomach surgery, I went out for Chinese with my husband. (Yes, I know how illogical that is, but I did, so oh well!)
My incision was along the middle of my stomach, under my breast bone, down to my belly button. My stomach was still poofy from the surgery (retention of water for about 3 weeks). I instinctively held my stomach.
The guy comes to seat us. He looks around the full restaurant and says, "I think all we have is smoking, but you don't want that. Lemme see if we have something in non-smoking, since you are pregnant." He smiled.
He was trying to be nice. I choked back the tears and sobs and smiled graciously. He meant to be kind, not soul-crushing.0 -
One day I had to pick up my grandson from Kindergarten. He came running out all excited and said, “Mimi, I know how to spell FAT. F-A-T,... Just like you. I was stunned, embarrassed & mortified because I was standing with many Moms & Dads. When I got to the car with my grandson I told him that was not a very nice thing to say . He sat back , put his hands up in the air, and said “Mimi just look at you.” …I had all I could do not to laugh. He was right! He is now 10 years old and I don’t want to be fat anymore.
:explode:
I used to nanny for a 2 yr old and a 4yr old. The little ones loved how cuddly I was compared to their mom, lol. Kids have no censors yet, lol.0 -
Yep, I never ask unless I'm very, very sure.. I was bar tending once and has a shirt on that was way too big, and I have kind of a big chest and so I probably did look a little prego. But this guy said he would buy me a drink, but he didn't think I should be drinking in my condition. I said "my condition?" And he said "we'll your expecting right?". I politely told him no that I was just fat. And the buger didn't even tip me. I did toss that shirt though.0
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Ya know ...I've never understood why it is people think just because your pregnant they have a right to touch you. I mean...if I'm walkin down the sidewalk or through the mall...I've never had someone come up and rub my belly. Why would they feel its ok just because I would be pregnant? :grumble:0
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I am sorry, butawww you poor thing! I worked with a lady once who was very large....and had no intention of trying to loose weight. Every night she worked she would bring in dinner to eat when she got there, and she also ate at least $40 of sushi on her own that she would order later. And she only worked an 8-10 hour shift. One day she came in and kinda fell down into the chair, and the arms just fell off. Bolts went rolling everywhere. I know I shouldn't have laughed but...ohhh man was it funny. I will say ...I'm not cold hearted....this woman was awful....
She would stuff her mouth with sushi and answer the phone and spit fish all over it. :frown:
She openly and unabbashedly raised up to one side (IN THE OFFICE) and farted. :sick:
And when she got fired for what ever reason ...she sued the business for never getting a lunch break. :noway:
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