Entertain Me...

Just_Dot
Just_Dot Posts: 2,283 Member
edited September 25 in Chit-Chat
Seriously.

I'm home from work with the plague. The kids are at the grandparents house for the night, and Hubs is at work and then grad school until 8:30 (at least) so I have 11 hours to kill...

I'm boooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred.

What'cha got?:wink:

Replies

  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    There was once a man from Boston,
    Who drove an American Austin.

    He had enough room for his *kitten*, and a gallon of gas,
    But his balls fell out and he lost'em.



    Note: The four legged *kitten*, and tennis balls.
  • barbosa22
    barbosa22 Posts: 178 Member
    11 hours. Wow that's a long time to be bored
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,283 Member
    11 hours. Wow that's a long time to be bored

    Yeah. I know. I have a movie to watch and a book to read, but I bet the book will be finished in 2 hours. I don't really watch tv, so I'm looking to the internet to keep me entertained.

    Love the limerick!!
  • HollyRutledge
    HollyRutledge Posts: 250 Member
    There was once a man from Boston,
    Who drove an American Austin.

    He had enough room for his *kitten*, and a gallon of gas,
    But his balls fell out and he lost'em.



    Note: The four legged *kitten*, and tennis balls.



    :laugh: That made my day a lil better too!!! LOL
  • JanerZzz
    JanerZzz Posts: 276
    Want to research plumbing permit requirements for me? City of Quincy, MA.

    Thanks!
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
    Well, I learned something this a.m. If you color your hair like I do, don't get distracted and forget to watch the clock. :ohwell:
  • barbosa22
    barbosa22 Posts: 178 Member
    Many people spend hours on YouTube looking at videos. Maybe that can help. I am bored here at work also, but I have limited internet access.
  • sbwood888
    sbwood888 Posts: 953 Member
    Eleven hours all alone with no expectations from anyone???? I want the plague! :love:
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    Who's your daddy on Maury is always entertaining.
  • zydratethief
    zydratethief Posts: 171
    A limerick!

    There was once a lady from nantucket
    She hopped on the train whilst in a bucket
    When the conductor asked her "Where's your ticket?"
    She opened her legs and said "**k it"
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
    I cant remember the last time I had 11 hours completely alone. Sounds like heaven...except for that whole plague thing you've got going on.
  • JoyceJoanne
    JoyceJoanne Posts: 760 Member
    OK. This is horrible!! I know!! Don't shoot the messenger!!! :devil: I usually HATE these kinds of things. I couldn't stop laughing... just put me in front of the firing squad already! The reaction from the anchors is funnier than the act. I laughed out loud...

    I hope I didn't build it up too much.. :tongue:


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm9hs0J1eyg

    Enjoy.

    ps. I LOVE these kinds of posts, but they keep me on my computer all freaking day!!! :bigsmile:
  • JoyceJoanne
    JoyceJoanne Posts: 760 Member
    Other internet time wasters:

    crazythingsparentstext.com

    fyouautocorrect.com

    www.****mykidsruined.com/


    You'll be wishing you had more than that measly 11 hours!!
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    I can offer all the interesting things I find on Stumble...

    ...and to start things off here you go (unless you get offended easily)

    http://9gag.com/gag/96796/
  • ashleyplus3
    ashleyplus3 Posts: 284 Member
    Here is something that is going to keep me entertained for way too long now that I've discovered it. Actually, my 15 year old daughter found this site due to my mother wondering what she would look like with grey hair. (the color her hair would actually be if she quit dying it!) Of course, I had way too much fun making my mom into a senior citizen prostitute!!

    Hope you feel better soon! :flowerforyou:

    http://www.taaz.com/
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,283 Member
    These are all awesome!! I love the "sex is no accident" ones...
    And the anchorman...

    Thanks everyone!! Keep 'em coming!!

    I just finished "Whip It" (and of course, now I want to go buy a pair of skates and kick some a$s) and I'm going to finish my book...
  • Voncreepy2
    Voncreepy2 Posts: 1,450 Member
    I am so immature sometimes but this still makes me crack up!!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBFfqcdLQck
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    http://blog.krisatomic.com/?p=1617
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    *tap dances*

    TaaDaa!
  • AdoraK
    AdoraK Posts: 724 Member
    Here is another limerick for you..

    There was a young man from Kildare,
    Who was having his girl on the stair,
    On the forty-fourth stroke,
    The banister broke,
    And he finished her off in mid-air!
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    Why Parents get Gray Hair

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
    urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the
    employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered,
    "Hello?"

    Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster
    the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

    "Yes", whispered the small voice.

    "May I talk with him?" the man asked.

    To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

    Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

    "Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?"

    Again the small voice whispered, "No".

    Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home
    alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person
    who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone there
    besides you?", the boss asked the child.

    "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman."

    Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
    asked, "May I speak with the policeman"?

    "No, he's busy", whispered the child.

    "Busy doing what?, asked the boss.

    "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered
    answer.

    Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
    helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is
    that noise?"

    "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.

    "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed.

    In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
    landed the hello-copper."

    Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss
    asked, "Why are they there"?

    Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle,
    "They're looking for me!"
  • Just_Dot
    Just_Dot Posts: 2,283 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Oh, and excellent tap dancing!!
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    Thanks! I have never had even one lesson!
  • JoyceJoanne
    JoyceJoanne Posts: 760 Member
    I can offer all the interesting things I find on Stumble...

    ...and to start things off here you go (unless you get offended easily)

    http://9gag.com/gag/96796/

    Really?? How can you NOT visit a site with "unless you get offended easily"??!!! :bigsmile:

    Pretty funny stuff. Gotta love Stumble! The stair limerick made me laugh too, thanks.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    http://www.cybersalt.org/images/stories/cleanlaugh/o/oldvsyoungworkers.jpg


    ...and I have to include the warning because I find lots of stuff funny that many don't.
  • zave
    zave Posts: 238
    Want to research plumbing permit requirements for me? City of Quincy, MA.

    Thanks!

    That made me really laugh and gave me an idea!

    Soccerdot - Can do my Federal and State taxes, when you finish getting the plumbing permit?

    p.s. I'd love a BIG refund! Thanks.
  • Triquetra
    Triquetra Posts: 270 Member
    I can't post the link because work won't let me on the site, but the site I think is www.peopleofwalmart.com (or google people of walmart) there are very amusing pictures on there taken in real stores as well as stories from people and there is also a link to a bunch of other fun sites (you drive what? you boss rants, worst food to eat pics, etc, etc). I kill quite a bit of time on this at home when I'm bored.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    http://www.techpaparazzi.com/top-10-facebook-fails/
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Why Parents get Gray Hair

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an
    urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the
    employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered,
    "Hello?"

    Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster
    the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

    "Yes", whispered the small voice.

    "May I talk with him?" the man asked.

    To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."

    Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

    "Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?"

    Again the small voice whispered, "No".

    Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home
    alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person
    who should be there watching over the child. "Is there anyone there
    besides you?", the boss asked the child.

    "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman."

    Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
    asked, "May I speak with the policeman"?

    "No, he's busy", whispered the child.

    "Busy doing what?, asked the boss.

    "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered
    answer.

    Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
    helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is
    that noise?"

    "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.

    "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed.

    In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
    landed the hello-copper."

    Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the bossio
    asked, "Why are they there"?

    Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle,
    "They're looking for me!"

    This wins first prize!
  • AdoraK
    AdoraK Posts: 724 Member
    Old muther Hubbard
    Went to the cupboard
    To get her old dog a bone

    When she bent over
    Rover took over
    And gave her a bone of his own

    :smokin:
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