Why do people feel the need to comment?

jr1985
jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
I went out to dinner the other night with some friends... and maybe its just me, but it seems like everyone pays more attention to what the fat girl decides to eat... I had looked up the caloric information online beforehand, and stated that it was only like 800 calories... which for a meal out is pretty reasonable actually... and some of the skinnier ones blurt out OH... MY... GOSH!!! YOU WOULD EAT SOMETHING WITH 800 CALORIES IN IT! THAT IS SOOOOOOO FATTY!... mean while they are scarfing down something worth 1400 calories... yeah I looked that up too, which does not include the three very large non-diet sodas that they are drinking... not to mention I had worked out for an hour that morning and had only eaten fruit, yogurt and a salad all day before that.

Seriously... why do people feel the need to comment on what other people are eating unless you have specifically asked them to help you keep track? I Don't, but hypothetically, if I wanted to down a whole medium pizza by myself one day, who's business is that but mine anyways.

Anyone else frustrated with the food police? Thanks for listening to my rant for the day! what are some things that gets under your skin that other people do when you are dieting?

Replies

  • karilynn27
    karilynn27 Posts: 190 Member
    Girls are *****es. And they are insecure. End of story, I am sorry that happened, its really annoying.
    I hate in when, someone tells me I don't need to loose "too" much weight that I am fine just the way I am.
    First of all, I am not doing it for you, I am doing it for myself, and secondly, its none of your damn business!!
    Sorry, needed to get that out! Thanks for the post!:bigsmile:
  • aunfire82
    aunfire82 Posts: 30 Member
    It's like they are looking for you to fail- and they feel better about themselves when they point out what you are eating instead of paying attention to what goes into their own mouths.

    No point in arguing with someone when you know you are doing right. Congrats for planning a head of time and sticking with it.
  • ejb245
    ejb245 Posts: 195 Member
    I get the same thing, by one of my guy friends who's twice my size. (and I'm not a small girl!) The constant questions of why aren't you drinking? A salad, really? It's like, come on. I'm not talking about your cheesesteak. Don't talk about my salad. You all know I'm trying to be healthy. Not looking for support, just looking for silence on the subject...
  • oreyna49
    oreyna49 Posts: 152
    That is too funny...it's like having broke friends give you financial advise...lol. I say to each his own. Stick with your game plan and smile. Remember...opinons are just that...everyone has them...lol
  • hamiltonba
    hamiltonba Posts: 474 Member
    I hope my response doesn't come across wrong, but I by commenting to the others how much you are eating, you are bringing attention to yourself. When I go out to eat, I don't bring it up. My friends and family don't pay attention to what the fat girl is eating - you might be a little self conscious. If, indeed, your friends are doing this to you - are they really your friends? My friends back me up and cheer me on! Your friends should be too!
  • runnermel
    runnermel Posts: 278
    AMEN! my pet peeve
    when I am making healthy choices and trying (struggling) to eat healthy
    and all the skinny (not healthy-just skinny) people around me rub it in about how wonderful the good stuff tastes, and tell me to just eat it, it will be fine! ugh--no it won't!!! grrrrrrrr........makes me want to say, " come run my half marathon with me this weekend, it will be fine!!!!!" knowing they would fall over at mile 1 because they have no endurance.
  • LosingTheWeight2014
    LosingTheWeight2014 Posts: 173
    My ex did that to me when we were together. It annoyed me to no end and yet here he was eating 10 times more calories than I was...but he was thin and I am not.

    I think it makes some people feel superior to someone if they can point out that you are eating something high in calories and that must be why we are fat.

    I finally got to a point where I told him and my friends that would do that to me..."I've preplanned what I'm eating, I know exactly what's going into my mouth and body, do you?" That usually shuts them up in a hurry!

    Sorry to hear your friends are doing that to you...just stay strong and know you are doing the right thing for yourself and your body!
  • SweetBeth
    SweetBeth Posts: 87 Member
    The skinny girl in my office offers me my favorite Reese's pb cups ALL THE TIME! And she brings in Dunkin Donuts regularly. I mean I know she's trying to be nice, but c'mon!!! It's not considered thoughtful when you KNOW I'm trying hard to make a lifestyle change and that I have the WORST sugar cravings.
  • coyote1002
    coyote1002 Posts: 1
    I agree so wholeheartedly. Being overweight seems to be the whole worlds business.. I think you need a new group of friends.. Maybe you should have come back with every 12 oz can of soda has 90 calories..

    You have to do what is best for you.. no one else period. My new life motto never apologize for life.. never explain why you do something if it is best for you;

    coyote
  • terrijean04
    terrijean04 Posts: 37 Member
    It's ignorance...They probably have no idea how many calories they are consuming maybe next time you should tell em let choke on the tid bit of info :) Chin up you did great!!! I'm not as well behaved as you I would of told em the facts... :)
  • GooBeGone
    GooBeGone Posts: 439 Member
    funny. none of my friends have ever commented on my foods. but i've heard ppl comment on others. i do the same thing, check out the calorie content b4 i go out 2 eat.

    but i'm also the type of person that says in return "yeah, it's a lot of calories but the one u're eatin has more" (if i know the calorie content of what they're eatin i'll actually say what it is).

    also a friend of mine does police me but i police her as well. we support each other b/c we're both gettin rid of this excess weight. & i don't mind that she police's me either b/c we don't take it 2 the extreme with that. :smile:
  • bonnienm
    bonnienm Posts: 329 Member
    If someone does that to me its usually someone who is overweight and I just tell them, "When you get to your ideal weight, then you can comment on what and how much I eat!" I don't remember any skinny people commenting on what I ate so either I'm lucky or I have overweight or borderline overweight friends and family:)

    Eat what you know you can and ignore them. You're not doing it for them anyway.
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
    That is so catty. It's like in high school when the size 2 girl would complain that she was fat and I would say then I must be a whale (At size 14) and then she would so oh no you're not fat, when what she was thinking is man that girl is fat.

    I don't get a lot of those comment b/c I don't go out with the girls a lot. But what i hate is at parties when some says are you sure you want that cake. Or when my husbands cousins wife said oh you better get soem crabs now before Matt eats them all. Meanwhile matt was on he 3rd of 4 small blue crabs and his other cousin was on her 8th.

    I would have told tyour freinds exactally how many calorie were in their dinner and told htem they should look up their food bewfore going out and before commenting on your dinner. If they are real freinds you shold be able to dish it back at them.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
    I HATE that !! And what makes it worse, is that even when you are not with judgemental people, you still feel like you are being watched! When I first started MFP and during the many times I went to WW, I held off on telling people. I waited until the comments were " Wow, you look great. What are you doing?" instead of " you are going to eat that?"
  • sauza
    sauza Posts: 159 Member
    OMG!!! Am I frustrated? Understatement. But....it is from the years and years and countless hours I had to listen to people talk about my consumption - when I was thin. I have never been able to wrap my mind around how anyone could be interested in what anyone else ate. I thought it was just me. Just on and on about every forkful. And there they were making such unhealthy choices, which I wouldn't have even noticed if they hadn't been bringing up my food choices. It used to get ugly. I can hardly wait until I am attractive enough to have other women comment on my eating habits LOL. I say other women, because no man has ever said a word about my food :)
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    I understand what your saying. Just on piece of advise, don't bring it up. If you don't mention the 800 calories then they have nothing to comment on. We should be able to discuss things like this with our friends but sometimes our friends are not always as supportive as we wish they were...
  • MakingAChoice
    MakingAChoice Posts: 481 Member
    Maybe next time you should tell them you workout out X number of minutes to prepare for this meal. Than turn and ask them what they did to prepare for the insane amount of calories they are about to eat. That should shut them up. :laugh:

    Truth being told, even 800 is high for a meal. I would put 1/2 of that thing in a to-go box for later. That is just what I would do though. I am not trying to tell anyone what they should do, just an idea tossed out there.
  • JPRobocker
    JPRobocker Posts: 74 Member
    They are just rude. Good for you for trying to make a lifestyle chage. It is especially hard when eatting out and still trying to maintain a social life.

    Something that gets under my skin with dieting is that I'm not really that big, so no one seems to understand why I'm dieting.

    I started on MFP at 5'6" 150 lbs. Not outragous, but I gained 15 lbs after college and I figured I might as well take care of it before it got out of hand. I was tired of not being able to jog a mile and panting when I would climb the 3 flights of stairs at work. I moved from working a food services job in college where I was constantly on my feet to a desk job where I'm at 10 hours a day. I knew I needed to make a life style change to inculde exercise and eatting healthier.

    For me, this isn't a diet. I know it sounds corny, but I really want this to be a lifestyle change for me. To include eatting healthier, exercising regularly, and maintaining my weight. When I go out with friends they seem to be enablers. If I ask if I can exchange fries for a salad or if I order something off the "low cal" menu, they give me crap about it. Or if I don't eat all the food on my plate.

    No one else I know is dieting. I feel like I'm going at it alone a lot of the time. Good thing we have the people on this site to encourage us! Don't let people like that get you down. The impotant thing is that you are doing this for yourself. For a healthier you. Keep your head up.
  • MakingAChoice
    MakingAChoice Posts: 481 Member
    OMG!!! Am I frustrated? Understatement. But....it is from the years and years and countless hours I had to listen to people talk about my consumption - when I was thin. I have never been able to wrap my mind around how anyone could be interested in what anyone else ate. I thought it was just me. Just on and on about every forkful. And there they were making such unhealthy choices, which I wouldn't have even noticed if they hadn't been bringing up my food choices. It used to get ugly. I can hardly wait until I am attractive enough to have other women comment on my eating habits LOL. I say other women, because no man has ever said a word about my food :)

    Because guys are all about tasty food. :laugh: Sadly once my activity level dropped that tasty food also added to my girth.:sad: MFP has helped me learn how to keep the food tasty while making it healthier too. Re-evaluating my relationship with food is one of the best things I have ever done. Never really had people comment on my food choices, but they would comment about my weight (until I jumped down their throat :laugh: ).
  • cocobeenie
    cocobeenie Posts: 98
    Friends are supposed to be supportive and understanding. You did your research and clearly made an educated decision so dont let them make you feel bad about it. I go through the same thing when I'm told that eating an orange at night is going to make me gain weight by someone who is eating a cookie at the same time. So, you're not alone. Just take it at noise. That's really all it is.

    I hate being told what to eat and how to eat it by people who have never successfully dieted themselves. It makes me feel misunderstood because they apparently have no idea what I'm going through. And like I said before, its just noise and It's annoying to have to keep tuning it out...
  • cast59
    cast59 Posts: 77 Member
    I feel if you dont have something positive to say don't say anything at all. If someone asks for my opinion i will give it and try to help. But other then that keep your negative opinions and thoughts to yourself. If you were perfest you shouldnt be on this site anyway!!!!
    Thats my rant
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    People police what thin people are eating too. I think it happens most when people know you are watching what you eat. Then they also watch what you eat. That's why I try hard to act like I'm not concerned about it so people will just leave me alone. Either way, it's annoying.
  • rockabyesarojane
    rockabyesarojane Posts: 471
    you should have just bursted their bubble and told them the amount of calories in their food. i guess its not the most classy way to handle it but they'd probably think twice before criticizing your food choice again.
  • dreamgirl12
    dreamgirl12 Posts: 1
    :wink: Well Gang, I am afraid to jump on here, I think I have been one of those people who ALWAYS has 5 pounds to lose, but it is now 10!!! One of those people, who everyone would say" you do not look like you need to lose weight", but I REALLY meant it and MEAN it now, we all have different comfort numbers, and now for me, not for you maybe, this 10 pounds is eating my lunch. Plese don't be mad at me, MY weight has never been an issue until I hit menopause and now I cannot even get off 10 pounds!!! So, what I want to say is forgive those of us who have our own seemingly small minds, I have nothing but love and TOTAL respect for the GOOD FIGHT, you are all doing so well!! I am not as deciplined as you are. P.S. The biggest loser is such a good inspiration for all of us, I LOVE THAT SHOW!!!!!
  • Rubie81
    Rubie81 Posts: 720 Member
    Very, very rude.
    At work, before my weight loss, my boss was always telling everyone, even the new people, that if they ever got hungry I always had snacks, goodies and munchies at my desk. Also, whenever they ordered cake or chocolate bars she would announce, 'hurry and grab yours before Rubie eats it all.' Then, once I started trying to lose the weight and eat better she would leave me chocolate cakes on my chair.
    Anyway, I stopped working for a few months because I'm more of a freelancer at this point, and when I came back to work, a week ago, their jaws literally hit the floor. They couldn't stop saying how skinny I looked. And in all honesty, I think I'm the skinniest one in the office now and that is saying a lot considering that they are all fairly healthy and active.
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