support not coming from "best friend"

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  • nehushtan
    nehushtan Posts: 566 Member
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    honestly, i don't know how linking this to FB works...but if every time you update your workout or calories it shows up in your FB feed as it does here...that would be pretty irritating. especially since FB is not a weightloss community like this is. i think that kind of stuff belongs here, not there, not publicly to people that don't care. I think she did it tactlessly, but she has a point.

    This was my thought as well. FB updates are pretty trivial but I would think if all my MFP updates were going to my FB wall it would seem like I was flaunting my program by posting every tiny little thing. Probably your friend does not understand that your MFP posts are automatically sent to FB and so she may imagine that you are shoving your weight loss & exercise & calories burned in everyone's face night and day.

    Hopefully you can both talk it out. All the best....
  • aset132
    aset132 Posts: 91
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    honestly, i don't know how linking this to FB works...but if every time you update your workout or calories it shows up in your FB feed as it does here...that would be pretty irritating. especially since FB is not a weightloss community like this is. i think that kind of stuff belongs here, not there, not publicly to people that don't care. I think she did it tactlessly, but she has a point.

    You can set it for different info to be posted. I link it. Only my total calories burned and whether or not I'm over or under my food goal post at the end of the day. Not so bad and I get tons of encouragement.
  • doodles80
    doodles80 Posts: 59
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    You can reply to her by saying, "Please stop being a b*tch. P.S. I still love you, but please stop."

    Love this option too! Hahaha!
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
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    Wow, jealousy and guilt may have taken over your best friend's common sense. I link my FB to MFP, but only a couple of updates like weight loss and exercise log. I did feel that too many things were going over to FB and could see that it could get annoying.

    I've actually gotten some messages and comments on my FB that I have inspired and motivated some of my friends too...that in itself makes linking them so worth it!!

    If your friend is annoyed by your mfp updates showing on fb, she doesn't have to block you....she can simply block the mfp posts. On one of your MFP posts, there will be a little "X" on the top right corner of that post. (It will only appear if you hover your mouse there). When she clicks on that "X" she will have the option to block all of your posts from her newsfeed, or just those coming through the MFP feed.

    Sorry she's not supportive of your new lifestyle! Maybe she'll come around! Good luck!
  • annacataldo
    annacataldo Posts: 872 Member
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    I havent linked the two sites cuz id get irritated at someone else for posting alot about a certain topic.. like one of my friends posts everyday, or every couple days, several posts about politics. I dont care about politics! It drives me nuts!

    If im making good progress, I go on FB and post "lost 10pounds and counting", but I dont think that all my friends would appreciate seeing every time I excercised, or everytime i weighed in, or everytime I did anything, everyday, all day long.

    Its not that she doesnt support you Im sure, shes just getting annoyed that there are so many posts about the same thing, over and over again, day after day after day with no break.

    I think she has a reason to be annoyed! Although she couldve gone around this a lil bit better way, I completely agree with her.

    She did not say "I dont support you" so dont change her words.
  • girlruns
    girlruns Posts: 344
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    I used to use the Nike + and had that website linked to facebook. It started to irritate ME to see my status all the time. Especially since it was always "Sarah ran x number of miles, in this time, with this pace, at this time in the morning". I felt like people didn't need to know that I was waking up at 5am to do something most don't do no matter what time of day it was. AND like someone else mentioned, I don't think a lot of people knew that that was automatically done by Nike + and I wasn't going on and posting that myself. I eventually unlinked them.

    That being said, it really sucks what she did. I recently had my 'best friend' say "I'm going to punch you in the face, you are so thin". Nice, huh? I agree with others that you need to talk to her in person and find out what the deal is.

    But here on MFP, we all say WAY TO GO!!!!
  • karimiller
    karimiller Posts: 22
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    Thank you all so much for the words of wisdom! It's sad that I get more support from my pals on MFP than I do from my best friend of 12 years. There's no way I'm going to stop posting about my weight loss because I'm damn proud of what I've accomplished! I've also been told by several nutritionists and health experts that it's good to make your weight loss goals public. It helps keep you accountable and motivated!

    This is what I posted on her status:

    "I've been working my *kitten* off the past two months, and I'm really proud of myself. I have a lot of friends on here who have been supporting me through the fitness challenge. I'm sorry that I couldn't count on your support as my best friend."
  • doodles80
    doodles80 Posts: 59
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    Good for you for standing up for yourself.

    Now await her reaction - if she apologises all good but if she starts getting angry I would advocate not rising to an arguement.
  • lizvanb
    lizvanb Posts: 66 Member
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    This is what I posted on her status:

    "I've been working my *kitten* off the past two months, and I'm really proud of myself. I have a lot of friends on here who have been supporting me through the fitness challenge. I'm sorry that I couldn't count on your support as my best friend."

    Very mature, well said. Good for you!
  • karimiller
    karimiller Posts: 22
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    I do agree with some of you about the frequency of MFP postings on FB. I only had it linked so that calories burned and pounds lost showed up, but I changed the setting today to only show when I lose weight, which should only be once or twice a week at most.

    Any time I post a status update about my fitness challenge (which is only once or twice a week at most anyway), I have a lot of friends comment with encouraging thoughts, which keep me motivated. I've also had friends mention that my posts have helped motivate them as well.

    I like the recommendation to let people know how to block the MFP feeds, but in my opinion, I have every right to continue to post (occasionally as I've been doing) about the fitness challenge and the work I've done. I never do it in a bragging way, and I'm proud of myself for what I've achieved. And plus...it's MY page, and no one is obligated to be my FB friend. I just never thought my best friend would put me down the way she did.

    Thank you again for all your feedback! Regardless of which side you're on, it's helpful to hear your opinions!
  • beckymike36
    beckymike36 Posts: 105 Member
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    personally I feel that you can post whatever you want on facebook, I hate when ppl make fun or discourage us from posting things on FB.....if you don't want to read ppls updates then don't look!!!! Or unfriend them.....simple as that!!! That is a total pet peeve of mine!
  • aset132
    aset132 Posts: 91
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    Your fb page is about you and you do have every right to post whatever you want. Keep it up and congrats for doing such a great job!

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