Feeling rude :(

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2

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  • NikkiDerrig386
    NikkiDerrig386 Posts: 1,096 Member
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    I say stand your ground. It's not that you couldn't eat. It's that you chose not to eat. Big differnce. Rude?? Time for new boyfriend...

    My bf is great. If I felt he was being a jerk or rude I would say something. I wouldnt dump someone for calling me out if i was really being rude.

    Sorry I've got little respect for anyone who's in my face about my sh1t and just assume others feel the same way. Life is too short to stay with mean people. Today it's this next it will be something else. But sorry for butting in. :flowerforyou:

    No your not butting in you just dont know my relationship so no hard feelings. I more wrote this for people who diet with naturally skinny partners and the things you have to deal with while staying healthy. :drinker:
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    I don't have inlaws. WOOT!
  • NikkiDerrig386
    NikkiDerrig386 Posts: 1,096 Member
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    I don't have inlaws. WOOT!

    LMAO!! I can not compain what so ever. I wouldnt trade them for the world!! She never butts in our business and she is the nicest woman I have ever met. His whole family treats me with respect. Also when I am not dieting, her food is amazing!!! I mean I can not even eat cookies anymore bc she has spoiled me so bad with her baking!

    X-mas Cookies + winter = 10 lbs this winter lol
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    I usually just say something really gross and kill everybodys appetite.

    It never gets old.
  • NikkiDerrig386
    NikkiDerrig386 Posts: 1,096 Member
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    I usually just say something really gross and kill everybodys appetite.

    It never gets old.

    lol I bet the inlaws lovvvvve you! jk :blushing:
  • amyvic4686
    amyvic4686 Posts: 13
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    Ugh, that's a tough one. Guess you'll need to learn to set limits with his mom/family regarding what you will eat. No one should be able to "force" you to put food in to your mouth.

    I have dated him for 11 years she/they arent rude. Actually thats why I eat more bc she is so freaking nice and persistant that I feel bad. She takes pride in her meals so saying no would make her think it wasnt good or I didnt like it. If she knows I am coming she will make veggies for me but she wasnt expecting me so it was not a good day to eat dinner there. They just dont eat as healthy as my family so even if there are veggies she makes a butter sauce to go with it.

    I'd say it's fine to refuse. They obviously know that your trying to lose weight and they respect that, and your boyfriend should respect that too, by making you a healthier(?) option when they know you're going. I'm totally with you, because I'm the same. I would feel even ruder staying and then leaving the food in case they were offended.
  • ka_42
    ka_42 Posts: 720 Member
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    I'm such a planner... so if someone wants to mess up the dinner plans that I made for myself the night before... I get annoyed. If I were in your spot I would assume since you didn't have "plans" to have dinner there already your saying no shouldn't bother him. For all they knew you could have already had dinner. Sometimes a little white lie is necessary in those situations. He/ his parents might not understand how strict you feel you need to be and take it as your feeling too good for their food or something :)
  • annameeks00
    annameeks00 Posts: 46
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    I would have to say I am with ya on this one. While i dont let my diet affect going out with others and such, I get a little grrr'd when it upsets the plans I have and food i have prepared. If I am going to loose the weight i wanna loose then I plan every meal ahead of time. So I dont truely have the left over calories to spend if someone up and surprises me.

    Same way with the gym. If I plan to go to the gym and people get mad at me for not doing something else then oh well :)
  • sunnny218
    sunnny218 Posts: 16
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    Thats a tough one. Is his family aware of your fitness and diet goals? If so, then its not unreasonable to want them to support you in your efforts.
    I have similar disputes with my husband from time to time. He wants pizza hut every Friday.......ewww! He is super in shape, and is even training for an ironman this fall. Since this is his one vice, I usually let him get what he wants and I try my best to eat something else. Its hard to maintain when he brings it home though!
  • hamiltonba
    hamiltonba Posts: 474 Member
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    Could you lie and tell them that you already ate dinner?
  • ladyshills
    ladyshills Posts: 58
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    It's all about portion control. I had the same issue with my hubby (who is a chef) when I first started Weight Watchers 8 months ago. He would get mad if I didn't want to eat what he had cooked.. We worked through it, he now cooks healthier & I eat whatever he cooks, just alot less of it. Depriving yourself is not the answer. Good luck!
  • Kjarlune
    Kjarlune Posts: 178
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    I would say that your best friend does not understand what you are trying to do. It all depends how you said no but from the sounds of it you were entitled to eat or not eat and you chose not to eat. Yes she can eat steak and potatoes but the point here is that she didn't want to eat!....Isn't this a big part of our learning..Not well we could have sat down and ate...One meal isn't going to hurt, pick up the slack. What was wrong with the supper...


    I think you did a great job and you have to have that your BF will get over it. Good job hun...
  • AKFatBoy
    AKFatBoy Posts: 14 Member
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    I get a little grrr'd when it upsets the plans I have... If people get mad at me for not doing something else then oh well :)

    Great answer! People for the most part get that. The ones that don't, well, if you have to explain it they wouldn't understand.
  • AKFatBoy
    AKFatBoy Posts: 14 Member
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    I would say that your best friend does not understand what you are trying to do. It all depends how you said no but from the sounds of it you were entitled to eat or not eat and you chose not to eat. Yes she can eat steak and potatoes but the point here is that she didn't want to eat!....Isn't this a big part of our learning..Not well we could have sat down and ate...One meal isn't going to hurt, pick up the slack. What was wrong with the supper...


    I think you did a great job and you have to have that your BF will get over it. Good job hun...

    Yep. :glasses:
  • astovey
    astovey Posts: 578 Member
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    My husband is one of those meat and potato men that have never even had to weigh themselves. He eats out at least 8 times a week...yeah, I know. This means I eat out with him sometimes. I don't always like watching him and our friends eating all the yummy food, but I order something small and healthy and I can still be social. If we are going to a friends house and they are BBQing, I bring Chicken (sometimes the others want to eat it too) and ask for no sauce, or jsut get smaller portion sizes.
  • NikkiDerrig386
    NikkiDerrig386 Posts: 1,096 Member
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    I would say that your best friend does not understand what you are trying to do. It all depends how you said no but from the sounds of it you were entitled to eat or not eat and you chose not to eat. Yes she can eat steak and potatoes but the point here is that she didn't want to eat!....Isn't this a big part of our learning..Not well we could have sat down and ate...One meal isn't going to hurt, pick up the slack. What was wrong with the supper...


    I think you did a great job and you have to have that your BF will get over it. Good job hun...

    Yep. :glasses:

    BF - Boyfriend (though he is my best friend too ;) )
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
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    i dont think you were being rude at all! they should be aware of your weight loss goals and it shouldnt offend them/or your boyfriend if you turn down a dinner that you wern't even suppose to attend to begin with lol.

    stand your ground. you go girl! ♥
  • wewon
    wewon Posts: 838 Member
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    I don't think that you were rude at all.

    This isn't about weight loss, its about the fact that you didn't want to eat. Would it have been considered rude if you were just coming by after eating yourself? What if you were on your way to meet a friend for dinner?

    Your bf made a mountain out of a molehill. People should be able to hear 'no' without it being a problem.
  • edryer123
    edryer123 Posts: 502 Member
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    Don't feel rude. My fiance and I have been together nearly 8years. I love his family dearly, but the love greasy fatty salty foods. They love pizza and pasta. Once in a while its fine, but we go there nearly every weekend or they come here. I have made it known that I'm cutting back on how much food I'm eating and my future mother-in-law has tried to make sure she buys whole wheat instead of white bread and stuff, but sometimes my stomach hurts just looking at the food. She always has salad fixings, so I will have a salad and a tiny bit of whatever meat she's made.

    If you do eat with them, and they want you to eat more. Just tell her that the food was fantastic but that you are full. Drink a lot of water with the meal to help you feel full so its not a lie.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    I don't have inlaws. WOOT!

    LMAO!! I can not compain what so ever. I wouldnt trade them for the world!! She never butts in our business and she is the nicest woman I have ever met. His whole family treats me with respect. Also when I am not dieting, her food is amazing!!! I mean I can not even eat cookies anymore bc she has spoiled me so bad with her baking!

    X-mas Cookies + winter = 10 lbs this winter lol

    That's awesome. :smile: I'm still happy I don't have inlaws LOLOL!

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