Need some advice please.

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chrismisterx
chrismisterx Posts: 37
in Motivation and Support
Hi all and thanks for reading.

Long story short, I feel I am doing ok since I started 1 month ago but tonight is an important fund raiser for my sons football team.

They have decided to have a Horse race night, where we sit in a pub and bet on horses everyone from the team is going.

Problem is the old me was up for nights like this and I would have alot to drink and eat, tonight they have takeaway ordered for the food and expect me to join in with the drinking, I have dropped hints that I dont want to do that but they have brushed it off and put alot of pressure on me to be my "old self"

At the moment this week I am STS with regards my weight due to a family meal I couldnt avoid and I dont want to damage my progress anymore.

What do I do?

Do I go and be my oldself as these nights only happen 2-3 times a year enjoy the night and not watch what I eat or drink and try and repair the damage later on.

Do I go and end up have a not so fun night as I know the pressure will be on for me to drink anyway ( they would just buy the drinks and put them in front of me.

Find a reason to not go and be the only person from the team who doesnt show up?

Really need some advice, also if I go is there anything I can do to look as if I am in full swing, but to really control my kcals ?

thanks all, only have 5 hours to work something out!

Replies

  • jsteras
    jsteras Posts: 344 Member
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    I also have a big party to go to tonight, I just went in and entered what I am going to eat and drink. I am allowing myself what they are serving just small portions and allowing 4 michelob ultra beers. I know if I don't plan ahead I will get there and just say to heck with it and go all out. I don't want to do that, I have been working so hard, and I am going to keep that in mind. Good luck to you, hope we don't hate ourselves in the morning. LOL
  • jsteras
    jsteras Posts: 344 Member
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    Sorry forgot to put in that I definately think you should go, I think a part of losing weight and maintaining it will be to learn how to handle situations like this and come through them and move on:)
  • Ral263
    Ral263 Posts: 318 Member
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    Here's the thing--- being social and having fun with your buddies and having to eat and drink when you don't want to shouldn't be two things that go together.

    If they are truly your friends, they should understand that you don't want pressure, and that you are trying to better yourself. I'm in college-- I go out and party until 4 am with my friends, but that doesn't mean I have to chug a liter of beer or drunk-eat if I don't want to. And guess what? I still have a blast.

    Here's what I would do: Eat a sensible and healthy dinner before hand. Make it BIG so that you are stuffed and aren't tempted to have more food there. Allow yourself to have a beer or two, but REALLY enjoy them, and drink them slowly. Don't make it a big deal and others won't either.

    Most importantly-- have fun.

    :)
  • nanbab
    nanbab Posts: 1
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    every one deserves a night off now & again, go ...enjoy...start afresh tomorrow x:
  • knewbill72
    knewbill72 Posts: 133 Member
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    Wow! Glad I saw your post as I'm in the same situation tonight for a bachelor party. None of the people there have seen me since I started my journey so they would expect the OLD me to show up.

    I going to plan my day to allow the party to have 700 of my daily calories. In between drinks I can down some water to look busy, most won't notice anyway.

    Go to that party and be with your friends. Create a plan and do the best you can!!! Best of luck to you!
  • osingirl
    osingirl Posts: 5
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    you should definitely go! go running tomorrow, which helps with the hangover, anyways. You could also offer to DD
  • PudgeMuffin200
    PudgeMuffin200 Posts: 39
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    I think you should definitely go! Just try to eat small portions of the lowest cal food they have and try to avoid the worst ones. I don't drink so I dont know what drinks are low cal- but try to stick with those maybe. And if you drink too many calories or eat more than you should....o well! Tomorrows another day! Have a good time - if you slip up just make sure you get back into your diet tomorrow.
  • kkellam1
    kkellam1 Posts: 182 Member
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    I agree. You should go and just control what you eat and drink. I have only had one social event since I started this and I guess it was easier because everybody was very supportive and impressed by my progress. You are facing a tougher situation. Any chance that it's a bigger problem in your mind than it will turn out to be?

    Anyway, sometimes I think to myself about what advice we would give our children. In this case, I would teach mine about not caving in to peer pressure. It's not an easy thing, but it's something we all need to face. They can buy the drinks, but you don't need to drink them. Maybe you can kill two birds with one stone and offer to be the designated driver. After all, someone needs to stay sober enough to drive.

    Also, one of the lessons that I have faced (and am still working on it, honestly) is changing the relationship with food from a social activity to nourishment. It is possible to have social interaction and have a good time without relying on food. Enjoy the people's company and enjoy watching the race, just don't feel like you need to gorge yourself on food and drink to enjoy it.

    Just my 2 cents and I know it's a lot easier said than done, but we all need to determine for ourselves how important the weight loss journey is to us and use that to help us make the decisions. Don't pull back from your world, go out and embrace it on your own terms.
  • PudgeMuffin200
    PudgeMuffin200 Posts: 39
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    As i wrote that reply to you I thought of the time I went to lunch with my sisters. I went there intending to only eat half my meal and skip dessert. Well I couldnt do it! lol I hate my entire meal AND then ordered a brownie dessert! And it was worth it! I went back to my diet the next day and that one day of splurging didnt affect me too much. SO just go and try your best but if u find it too hard to resist and its putting a damper on your mood- then i say eat, drink and be merry!! lol
  • pineappleroo
    pineappleroo Posts: 47 Member
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    Plan how many drinks and wings or things that you are going to have in advance. I also have water between my drinks. Part of the process is learning how to handle these situations. For me, I know that sometimes I do really well.. others not so much but take those as a learning opportunity. Most of all... have fun!
  • karencalleja
    karencalleja Posts: 61 Member
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    i have a party too today and friends over tomorrow - very bad weekend for me as lots of drinking - but i will eat well before party and make my drinks last and tomorrow will eat my healthy food and have maybe 2 drinks :(

    So i think you should go, eat before and make your drinks last - enjoy we only live once :)

    get back on track tomorrow.
  • chrismisterx
    chrismisterx Posts: 37
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    Thanks for the great advice.

    I think I will eat before I go and see what food is there, if its all deep fried stuff, I will give the food a miss, hopefully theres a fish or veg option for food.

    Also I like the idea about water in between drinks and after a quicky google I found that Gin and slim Tonic isnt to bad and same color as water, so who will know if I am drinking or not hehe.

    Thanks again all, I will plan ahead and try to not over do it, its a balance and something I need to learn is not to binge just because itsa social night.

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