How do you deal with Family who isn't also trying to loose w

MGleason2010
MGleason2010 Posts: 105 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
I very new here but have already felt really supported by everyone on MFP and I feel very inspired to try to reach my goals. The hardest part has been dealing with my husband who is not also trying to eat healthier or loose weight. He seems to remain fortunate that he can pretty much eat whatever he wants and has a very active job physical job.

So far I think i've done fairly well. Seeing what I put in my mouth everyday and what the calories add up to is eye opening. I quickly have learned where I used to sabatoge all of my previous diets. The easy part for me has been breakfast, lunch and working out (when i'm alone w/o the hubby) but then dinner comes around. I am the only one who prepares dinner, so that's also been ok, since I can decide what we are having, but it's AFTER dinner when he pulls out the snacks (doritos, cinnamon bread, alcohol ect.). So far I have resisted. I have just been getting on my laptop and logging into MFP lol. But this morning he suggests McDonalds for breakfast....reluctantly I go along and get the smallest mcmuffin and plan to workout really hard this afternoon. I know I need to allow myself some splurges and I have. It's just still frustrating to live with someone who is not trying to change their lifestyle as well.

I don't mean to make him sound unsupportive, because he has been. But that's where it ends, he's supportive of me but isn't going to change what he eats because he doesn't have too. I'm not looking for Husband bashing, just wondering if others were having the same struggles as well and what did you/are you doing to get through them?

Replies

  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
    when you do go out to eat just try to make the most practical choice. Mcdonalds has a fruit and nut plate, get a yogurt parfiet with out the granola, and a coffee and you will still be on track and you got to enjoy a quick meal ot with the hubby
  • cocoavery20
    cocoavery20 Posts: 24
    You have to eat smaller portions or just eat different food but sit down as a family at the table. I have to do this at the fire house and they don't care at all, some of them even support and encourage me for doing it.
  • barneygoogle
    barneygoogle Posts: 20
    Dump him, there's a quick 200 lbs right there.



    j/k

    :)
  • fivezero15
    fivezero15 Posts: 9 Member
    My husband, who DOES need to lose weight just keeps saying, that's great! you're doing great! and "I wish I could lose weight!" And I say, well we could do it together but he just wants to eat whatever he wants. He eats ALL evening long, chips, crackers, ice cream, everything. I just have to ask him nicely to put the food away where I can't see it, but it is difficult! And I throw away produce every week because he refuses to eat vegetables. So it's difficult, but I work at home and I stay logged into MFP all day for reminders. And I am seeing results, and that is very gratifying. So I don't have any solutions, but I am in the same boat.:ohwell:
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    My husband was the same with previously when I've tried to lose weight. But since I've started and stuck to MFP and actually started to lose weight and eat healthier, he's actually starting to change his eating habits too and help me make better choices when I waiver. I hope yours starts to see that he isn't helping and that just because HE doesn't NEED to eat better, that he should because it is a good choice. Even if he doesn't, you are doing great. Keep up the good work. Maybe he'll come around. But if not, you have us!
  • susancelli928
    susancelli928 Posts: 190
    Are you losing weight for you or your family? Not everyone wants or needs to lose weight so you can't ask them to go on this trip with you.. When you need extra support log on here and talk to the friends who know what you are dealing with. Good Luck
  • emsibun
    emsibun Posts: 208
    I know exactly where you are coming from. My husband is sooo skinny - at times I've worried he's underweight. He eats whatever he likes and has never worried.

    Sympathy here :smile:
  • MGleason2010
    MGleason2010 Posts: 105 Member
    Dump him, there's a quick 200 lbs right there.



    j/k

    :)

    LoL he's not even 200lbs! He's such a little guy at only 170! :smile:

    We've been together since we were 15. I've probably had to watch what I eat since that age. If he ever wants to loose weight, he could just go run around the block and have lost 5lbs. It makes me so mad!
  • tobitude
    tobitude Posts: 89 Member
    I have the exact same problem, with all the stuff i dont want to eat in the house. I have to remain my best at being able to resist all he brings in, especially being addicted to food. I just have to resign myself to behaving no matter what, the best part is being accountable on MFP. I dont want to have to explain why I ate a box of cookies to my pals LOL.
  • cdl8
    cdl8 Posts: 164 Member
    My husband isn't looking into losing either. But when I make dinners, he eats what I make. He doesn't always like it, but if he's hungry still, he'll find something else to eat b/c I have explained to himthat this is what I need to do for me. Just make the best choices for you if you eat out. Talk to him about it too. It took a couple of months, but now that I have lost 20 lbs and there is a noticable difference in me, he's all for it!!! LOL
  • johnny51981
    johnny51981 Posts: 24
    All you can control is what you eat. You don't have to change the location of where the two of you eat, but you can control what it is you order. Most places do have healthy(ish) options, so try your best to work with that.

    In addition to that, I know with me, if I am too strict with my diet...I will eventually give up. So having a treat is just that, a treat. I can easily fit a treat into my daily calories from time to time, which makes it a lot easier to stick to.

    Your husband, as you stated, is being supportive of your efforts. Maybe as he sees you doing so well, he will eventually come around and join in with you. :o)
  • lyndyb88
    lyndyb88 Posts: 123 Member
    I completely understand what you're going through. I don't have a husband, but I do live with my mother who is not trying to lose weight at all. It is hard when she keeps bringing snacks into the house. I see them sitting there and I REALLY want them. I've resisted :) I usually have some alternative snack that is healthy for when she starts eating her snacks. For example, she'll get out the cookies and I'll go for a hundred calorie pack. Therefore I'm still technically getting cookies but I'm not going to go overboard and eat the whole package like I've done in the past. There have been times where I've had to tell her that I just really need the support and not to offer me any of her snack, and she's been very understanding. I've told her that I'm committed to seeing this thing through for the first time in my life :) I guess what I'm saying here is try having some alternative snack when your hubby is eating his, or you could also splurge every once in a while and set aside a portion of his snack that ONLY amounts to one serving and make that be yours. Tell yourself you don't have to finish it even if he does. I hope this has helped you out some. This is just what I've been trying to do with my family.
  • pixie17857
    pixie17857 Posts: 7
    I stock my cupboards with "better" choices. I love my husband very much, but his snacking isn't going to be my undoing this time. He has ice cream, I have a Edy's sugar free fruit pop(25 calories). He has pringles, I have my whole grain sun chips(16 are 140 calories). He has a cupcake, I have my Keebler mini pack of brownies(100 calories). When we go grocery shopping I make sure I have an answer to his "snack".
    :happy:
  • ladybug91254
    ladybug91254 Posts: 232 Member
    Unfortunately you just have to learn ways to deal with it. Fortunately you can easily control breakfast, lunch and dinner. My husband (who doesn't need to lose weight) would normally be super supportive but he has Alzheimer's so he doesn't always realize what he is doing. He keeps bringing in candy and snack foods. I just try to make sure I have my snacks to eat when he drags out his. He is known to just say "want a bite" and all but shoving it in my mouth LOL...but I know he can't help it. So my daughter and I just laugh about it. Like I said I think key is having snacks available that you like and can eat. As far as the McDonalds you can have that occasionally and just count it. Choose smart like the egg mcmuffin (ask them to hold the butter) or oatmeal. Hang in there...you will do it and find ways around all the obstacles!
  • whiskey9890
    whiskey9890 Posts: 652 Member
    you're other half sounds very much like mine, but he needs to loose a bit of weight himself, he even has an account on here but wants me to log everything for him and just laughs when he is 500 cals over so i've stopped doing it for him. i am also the one the does all the food stuff in our house (except for the occaisional sunday where he cooks and blows my diet everytime) and it is very difficult especially as i work shifts so have to cook food that he will enjoy that we can both reheat so i feel your pain.
  • p_cakes
    p_cakes Posts: 282
    Dont deprive yourself of the things you want, just eat smaller portions.
    With me if I told myself I was on a diet, I'd stop eating things I loved and inevitably I'd fail.

    I've changed my lifestyle. I no longer eat heaping piles of ice cream (I eat froyo instead actually) I don't drink 3-4 cokes a day (instead I have 1-2 a week) I don't eat an entire bag of chocolate in a day BUT I do eat the portion size, sometimes every day and I've still lost 15lbs)


    If you tell yourself you can't have those little splurges you'll end up giving in and eating entirely too much, but if you allow yourself something like that once a week, or 2 times a week it's still keeps you sane while keeping on track.
    My boyfriend and his family go out to eat contantly and DO NOT eat or cook healthy. I plan ahead when I know I'll be with them while eating. I'll look up the restaurant nutrition info, and figure out everything I want and add it to my log. Then I go to the restaurant knowing what I'll have, sometimes I even add in half of a dessert and share with someone.

    I've realized that since I've allowed myself to have those "treats" but in a moderate portion, or the correct portion, I've stuck with this lifestyle change much longer than I normally would have, and I've still lost 15lbs (and still loosing)
  • MGleason2010
    MGleason2010 Posts: 105 Member
    Thanks! I'm glad i'm not the only one in this situation. I'm definitely only doing this for myself and I realize I can't force my husband to change. I'm hoping he'll see light and starting wanting to eat healthier for himself as well, just to be more healthy. For now, i'm going to use blinders and pull up MFP when he starts snacking!
  • BeGreat25
    BeGreat25 Posts: 78
    First of all you know what you're doing, props to you!!! That sounds like my routine as well. Don't beat yourself up you can get the less fattening foods. Research, research, research! That's all you need to do! Quickly jump on line to check the nutritional value in foods depending what place you're eating at. Also, men are the men of the house I get that....but if you prepare food at home and take care of the family your guy should listen to you when you slide in a better suggestion. Such as staying and saving a few bucks and eating a healthier meal. I know I always jump in and say well I'm still on my diet so I would rather stay in or I'd rather eat here and then go pick up food where you'd like to go.
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
    My husband is mostly doing this with me; not to lose weight but just to set a good example for our daughter. HOWEVER, there are a few snacks he gets that I don't (Ruffles, I'm looking at you), and some low-cal snacks I don't want him getting into so I have for "emergencies". :happy:

    Our solution: my snacks are in the back on a low shelf, his are in the back on a high shelf (I'm 5'4", he's 6'1")... and he does try to be considerate about eating the high cal snacks around me , especially when he knows I haven't had a huge workout burn.
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    At least he supports you I get bashed by everyone even girls that say my body looks great but I just leave that out of my head. I just keep on doing what is mine to do :)
  • clpolk1
    clpolk1 Posts: 27
    OMG!! My husband eats the same way! Be strong girl, you can do this!!! My husband is military so he is in good shape but also has the attitude that if I am going to stuff the fridge with low fat this and that. for me..I better equally stuff it with regular food cause he is not eating the low fat crap...LOL Hang in there!!
  • BeGreat25
    BeGreat25 Posts: 78
    And as for him eating healthier he'll get it sooner or later. If you're making meals at home I'm sure they're healthier than what's out there in restaurants. I usually get the healthier snacks and make my own desserts at home so when I see my guy munching I won't stress over it good luck friend!
  • donicagalek
    donicagalek Posts: 526
    Make his evening snack time your "You" time. While he's camped out in front of the TV with garbage, give yourself a pedi/mani/facial/whatever. If it upsets him tell him kindly but firmly that you have a food addiction, that you're not going to dictate what he does but that you can't be around it. If he wants to spend time with you at night he has to respect the fact that you're trying to overcome a health problem.

    (P.S. After a while you'll enjoy the time pampering yourself so much that you'll be making sure that his junk food makes it into the cart every week. :-D )
  • barefootbeautiful
    barefootbeautiful Posts: 144
    My husband is a postman - who walks 10 miles a day - so weightloss is NOT an issue for him. Having said that, we've come to an agreement. He can eat what he wants, but he can't offer me any, and if it's REALLY tempting, he has to eat it in another room. He's actually been great about it - he'll cook my paleo dinners when I'm working out, and then if he wants extras, they only go on his plate. He's even started having my shakes for breakfast. I'm NOT saying he's quit eating foods that I - at least temporarily - can't have, like buttered toast, but he is AWARE of it now.

    And I've just gotten to a point where it's almost like showing off. "Oh, I feel SO good after that workout!" "That's day X of this diet, and I feel fantastic..." I've decided to make it a little mini-challenge, and it seems to work.

    Just know that he really IS supporting you, even if he doesn't necessarily share your goal!
  • knowmydestiny
    knowmydestiny Posts: 104 Member
    bump, to read and answer to later :)
  • 702GRACECITY
    702GRACECITY Posts: 46
    I stock my cupboards with "better" choices. I love my husband very much, but his snacking isn't going to be my undoing this time. He has ice cream, I have a Edy's sugar free fruit pop(25 calories). He has pringles, I have my whole grain sun chips(16 are 140 calories). He has a cupcake, I have my Keebler mini pack of brownies(100 calories). When we go grocery shopping I make sure I have an answer to his "snack".
    :happy:

    Have you tried "POP CHIPS" OMG they are soooo good! Here is a Link for them, i buy the 100-Calorie Packs ONLINE, they are my "Fave Treat", my Biggest Snack Weekness has always been Chips & Dip and w/"POP CHIPS" i can get the Flavored Chips and curb my Craving w/out going nuts on reg Chips & Dip!!!!

    http://bit.ly/3Ytll5

    :glasses:
  • Therapist_mama
    Therapist_mama Posts: 135 Member
    I totally relate! My husband can eat anything and burn it off! I have to work very hard at it! The key for me is staying connected on MFP and giving myself positive pep talks of how I can do anything I put my mind to and that this is for my joy and happiness that
    I stay with my commitments.

    Stay strong and stay connected you have friends here! You are welcome to check out my profile and friend me if you like.

    :flowerforyou:
  • Ashtrizzle
    Ashtrizzle Posts: 24
    I absolutely know the feeling. My boyfriend gets on the scale all the time but won't stop eating taco bell AFTER dinner at nights.
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