Please help me - binge eating

absie107 · April 2011

I really need some help, MFP.

Since December, I've gained back nearly all of the weight that I lost over the course of the summer and the previous year. I've been binge eating, sometimes every single day, even on foods that aren't that great. I've run down my meal plan money for school because I just keep getting food to eat. Cookies, cakes, muffins, scones, chocolate, cereal... generally sugary carbohydrates and breads, but sometimes I'll just eat whatever is around. It's mostly breads/grains, nuts, and sugary stuff.

I'm seeing a therapist, and I'm trying to open up with him, but it isn't helping all that much. I've bought books. I just feel horrible about myself, out of control. It's like I'm too weak to make the better decision for my body.

I think a lot of this has to do with my low self esteem. I just don't like myself. Does anybody have advice about how to build confidence or just love yourself? I think part of this overeating is because I don't fully accept or love myself the way I am... the way I've been eating is destructive and harmful, and if I really cared about my body I don't think I'd continue bashing it with food... I feel like I'm addicted or something. I exercise plenty, because I enjoy it... but I feel so terrible. I haven't cried in a long time, and I just sat for half an hour bawling my eyes out after seeing myself in a dress. I'm not horribly overweight, 5'3 and 159 pounds now... but I just feel so out of control and awful. I don't want to gain any more weight. I want to lose it, I want to get the body back that I had in October, and I want that confidence. I just don't even know where to start anymore.

If anybody has any similar experience or wisdom to share, that would be greatly appreciated.

rosepetal205 · April 2011

You probably have no desire to be around people but get away from the place where you are eating. Go outside. Just walk around in the cold air and breathe deeply and try to focus on what is causing you to seek comfort and love in food. If that is too much, just walk a little and breath the cold air and think of all the things you are grateful for, name each little thing and ask for help, just talk it into the air...help will come. You might also want to try Overeaters Anonymous online. I wish you the very best. It sounds really silly, but the air helps.

get_it_gone2012 · April 2011

I've been there sweetie, I'm still there.
All I can tell you is you have to focus on telling yourself that you are lovely and beautiful, and try to seek out the problems that are making you binge eat.
Granted, I'm not the greatest example. I moved from binge eating to smoking (DO NOT DO THIS!!!)
I'm here for you if you need support!
(I also ran out of money on my meal card buying all the cookies and pizza and chocolate... this semester I've tried to be better).

Add me as a friend, and we can try to work through this together

mwamalone · April 2011

I think scientists need to come up with some kind of shocking device that insures when we binge we get a good shock. It all boils down to psychology. When we're kids our parents say "eat everything on your plate. there are children in third world countries that don't have anything to eat." That stays with us for the rest of our lives. I get the mentality that I'm only going to live once and I deserve good food.

rblauvelt7 · April 2011

I wish I knew what to say. I've never really had a similar experience with binge eating. But I do wish you the best of luck. I realize it's not as easy as saying "just put down the snack", but if you ever need an accountability buddy, I would be happy to do that. The fact that you're admitting it's a problem is a good start and hopefully you can get back on track and down to where you want to be.

rachyrach1234 · April 2011

workout more and you wont want to eat like that...trust me...i do one hour of cardio every day and i in no way want to binge eat.....ever..try it

twooliver · April 2011

Ya know, I'm amazed at how smart you are! You've got all the answers in the words you share...the key is that you are the only one that holds the key to changing it all...your self-esteem...what you put in your mouth...how or if you move your body...your addictions...YOU CAN DO THIS!

Stop waiting for someone to rescue you...just trust your beautiful awesome unique self!!

HoopFire5602 · April 2011

You probably have no desire to be around people but get away from the place where you are eating. Go outside. Just walk around in the cold air and breathe deeply and try to focus on what is causing you to seek comfort and love in food. If that is too much, just walk a little and breath the cold air and think of all the things you are grateful for, name each little thing and ask for help, just talk it into the air...help will come. You might also want to try Overeaters Anonymous online. I wish you the very best. It sounds really silly, but the air helps.

Hit the nail on the head.

melodys_attic · April 2011

Been there done that. The thing about those carbohydrates, whether they are the sugary ones or the grainy ones, is that they boost our serotonin levels. In other words, we feel GOOD. Eating them actually makes us feel better when we are feeling down.
Do you know where your low self esteem comes from? Is there abuse in your past? Is there depression in your family? I have done things when the carb eating gets out of control like just going off carbs completely for a while. I haven't tried the South Beach Diet, but maybe it's for you? Another thing that can cause the carb/sugar cravings is a yeast imbalance. Do you get so-called yeast infections? They aren't infections at all, they are "imbalances" where the yeast in your body grows out of control. The yeast wants to be fed so you crave the sugars and refined grains.
Drinking lots and lots of water can help fill you up and wash some of the "treats" away.
When I get off track with carbs, I sometimes try to "add" rather than take away anything. I try to add 5-10 servings of vegetables a day. I'll also add a cup of clear soup (broth) at every meal and a cup of herbal tea after every meal. If you are all full of salad and veggies, there's not as much room for the grains and sugars. If you're all sloshy from the soup and tea that can deter you from wanting to stuff your face too. haha. I say these things cuz I've BEEN THERE!
It sounds possible you could benefit from some cognitive therapy. Ask your counsellors about it. Sometimes we really need to change our thinking about things. There is a book by somebody McKay called Self Esteem. It's easy to work through alone. And David Burns has written a book and related self-help handbooks called "Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy." Maybe your library has a copy?
I don't know if this will help at all, but I hope it will. Add me as a friend if you want.
xo
Melody

summerfun21 · April 2011

Wish I had a way to just hug you to pieces. That hurt my heart just reading it. I won't go into all the "it's what matters on the inside that counts" stuff because I know how you feel about yourself is just as important. I don't have any great words of wisdom, all I can do is let you know that you are not alone and you don't have to do this by yourself.

My daughter watches Disney channel and I heard this song by Selena Gomez called "Who Says"...may sound silly but if you can find a way to listen to it PLEASE do.

melodys_attic · April 2011

I love this advice! It is so much simpler than all the stuff I wrote. I agree with it though! And I forgot about Overeaters Anonymous. Self help groups rock! I'm definitely going out for air next time my cravings strike!

allanaaron · April 2011

here's a possible way to slow down and eventually stop your binge eating. DON'T STOP. That's right, don;t stop your binge eating. I'm going to give you an option that if you;re not doing this could be very helpful. If you are doing this and it doesn;t stop you then not sure what I can say. But here's what I suggest. Take responsibility for everything you eat. On Day1 (That's right now) start putting all your foods that you eat into the myfitnesspal diary. Make sure you are weighing your food or measuring it in some way. If you only use the eyeball technique of weighing your food then your eyes need help. It's called a food scale. Now plug it in and record the food. Also weigh yourself at least every second day(optional) but you have to own what you eat. If you have the guts to do just that, your weight gain will slow down. A therapist can be very helpful but they cannot help you lose weight. Own your food, weigh it, measure it and count it. I promise you slowly but surely your calorie counts will start falling and you;ll start once again making healthier choices. I know many people including myself who know the exact reason they overeat. It does not change the behavior pattern. If I overeat because of issues in my childhood the issues could be resolved but the learned behaiviour of over eating becomes so entrenched it's another issue altogether. So sure go see someone about those issues, you will grow as a person, but to shrink as a person you need to change behavior, not your mind. If you really want to stop binge eating. DON'T. Just own it. then it will be as easy as pie... oops.

monkeybuttsmommy · April 2011

At my heaviest I was 290. At my lowest as an adult I was 230. I do know how you feel as I do it too. The thing that changed for me was the passing of my father and the birth of my son. I was 36 when I had him and I was slowly killing myself with binge eating. I ate all that you mentioned. I would just eat and eat and not think twice. But something clicked when my dad dies because he had done the same thing to himself and his death could have been avoided. He was only 60 when he died. Much too young. I already had high BP and if I didn't do something about it I would not see my son grow up. I am an emotional eater. I had to start channeling those emotions and feeling to the surface and just feel them instead of trying to burry then with food becuase that is LITERALLY what your doing. ANd if your seeing a therapist I am sure you have discussed it and if you havent I would suggest finding one who will. The key is to learn how to deal with those demons inside without using food. Keep going to therapy, keep working out, don't give up. Your life truly depends on it.

mrsdowney · April 2011

I really need some help, MFP.

Since December, I've gained back nearly all of the weight that I lost over the course of the summer and the previous year. I've been binge eating, sometimes every single day, even on foods that aren't that great. I've run down my meal plan money for school because I just keep getting food to eat. Cookies, cakes, muffins, scones, chocolate, cereal... generally sugary carbohydrates and breads, but sometimes I'll just eat whatever is around. It's mostly breads/grains, nuts, and sugary stuff.

I'm seeing a therapist, and I'm trying to open up with him, but it isn't helping all that much. I've bought books. I just feel horrible about myself, out of control. It's like I'm too weak to make the better decision for my body.

I think a lot of this has to do with my low self esteem. I just don't like myself. Does anybody have advice about how to build confidence or just love yourself? I think part of this overeating is because I don't fully accept or love myself the way I am... the way I've been eating is destructive and harmful, and if I really cared about my body I don't think I'd continue bashing it with food... I feel like I'm addicted or something. I exercise plenty, because I enjoy it... but I feel so terrible. I haven't cried in a long time, and I just sat for half an hour bawling my eyes out after seeing myself in a dress. I'm not horribly overweight, 5'3 and 159 pounds now... but I just feel so out of control and awful. I don't want to gain any more weight. I want to lose it, I want to get the body back that I had in October, and I want that confidence. I just don't even know where to start anymore.

If anybody has any similar experience or wisdom to share, that would be greatly appreciated.

I have a similar problem. Allot fo time i am too lazy to make food so what ever is readily available is what i eat. I am a major sugar junky and all i ever want is sweets. The way i furgured out how to fix that is this.
But allot fo sugar free chocolate puddings fat free whipped cream and dryers 1/2 fat sugar free ice cream. Also there are these things called sinfully delicious desert sprays. you have to order them online. But if you are craving sweets you spray that in your mouth a bunch. till the cravings go away (they have no calories so it doesnt hurt) they are like 2 bucks eqach. I know that i am gonna wanna have a sweet snack all the time so i ordered online the dr's carbrite bars... they are lower fat and sugar free so you have something readily available when you are on the go. I have a major HATE for the way my body looks, but it's one of those things.. most people i think don't have the self confidence that they THINK everyone else has. But if you don't wanna blow up, also take a look at the body type diet plan.... it shows why you always want sweets. I hope this helped. I know allot of the things i mentioned above have to be ordered online or bought at a specialty store, but it helps.... it's better to pay more for the things that aren't gonna crash your diet and be prepared, than blow up and hate yourself for what you ate.

Strawberry34 · April 2011

Honey, I have had problems with binge eating since I was a teenager, and I'm now 34. I just joined this site on Monday, and I must say having to be accountable for all I eat has helped me tremendously!! I have noticed over the years that the biggest trigger for me to binge, is when I let myself get REALLY hungry, and sometimes it was everyday. I've been trying to eat right since being on here, and I haven't binged yet!! I'm eating the best breakfast, lunch, snacks, and supper that I can.

If you are seeing a therapist, maybe you can try some medication to help with it. I once was on Prozac for depression, and it helped A LOT with my binges. I actually consistently lost weight will I was taking them, along with diet and exercising regularly. The medication eventually stopped helping me though after about a year, so I stopped taking it. I have heard that there are other drugs that can help with it, but I haven't had any of them.

If you want you can add me as a friend, and I will try to help you any way that I can. If you ever want to talk. Don't give up on this!! Good luck sweetie!!

kayemme · April 2011

meditation has helped me considerably because it has taught me to be very aware of what my body is saying vs. what my mind is saying. even sometimes when i'm freaking out, now i can recognize it, even if i can't stop it. little by little.

the first thing i would do in your situation is do a real self-assessment. i would make a list of things that i'm good at. i would make an effort to really recognize my own value. this is how i overcame some of my self-esteem issues.

then i would look at other people and find things in them i admire. then i would look at other people i don't immediately admire and find something about them i can admire.

what you're doing is judging yourself. so if you do one thing it would be to learn to not judge yourself. i held an experiment over myself for a while where i aimed not to judge, good or bad. so if something good happened, i didn't recognize it as "good" just as it is. when something "bad" happened, the same: just recognize it for what it is and not try to change it.

i think it's a really good idea to see a therapist, but even better might be to find a buddhist sangha. i only mention buddhism because at its core, the point is to be satisfied with every moment and it takes a while to get it, but eventually you get there.

hth,

feel free to call on me anytime.

econn · April 2011

I'm the same way

In the fall of 2009 i lost a bunch of weight and got down to 130 pounds and now I am up to 150 and i'm 5'4" and i am struggling with the same issues as you. hating myself, trying to get binge eating under control. it's really tough!!

absie107 · April 2011

Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I sincerely appreciate it... it amazes me how kind people are, especially in this pseudo-anonymous space. It just reinforces my thought that for the most part, people willingly help other people because they are kind, empathetic.

Yesterday was kind of a wake up call for me. I re-read what I wrote... I'm currently writing a list of what I can do well, maybe the self-love will return slowly.

Thank you all again

chnkydnknmomma · April 2011

I've struggled with low self-esteem and binge eating for as long as I can remember. I know it will sound a little silly, but every day I look in the mirror and I tell myself, "damn, you're cute", or "wow, you are awesome". My 16-year-old daughter thinks I'm nuts, and I try to get her to do it also.

I also use the Serenity Prayer- substituting the word "change" for control, as I sometimes feel out of control.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not control
The courage to change the things I can
and the Wisdom to know the difference

We all have set backs, I've lost 90lbs in the past 5 years, and gained back 30 since June of 2010. I was really down on myself because of it, but have changed my attitude and try to focus on the positives in my life.

You can do it ! YOU are awesome!!!

chnkydnknmomma · April 2011

PS- I just looked at your pics--you are beautiful!

SamRu · April 2011

It sounds like you're suffering from depression. In addition to therapy, I STRONGLY recommend you see a psychiatrist (an actual MD). You may need antidepressants.

calliope_music · April 2011

girl, i've been there (and am still there). i have no advice for you but i am here to offer support. i'm working with a therapist and am on anti-depressants as well and they seem to be helping. i am just now working on the self esteem thing and it's a slow process. add me as a friend if you'd like

cowlover22 · April 2011

Well you are prob eating like that because you are not dealing with some kind of emotions or problems. If this person doesnt seem to be helping you look for someone who specializes in eating disorders. Also there are support groups out there. Now that you are aware you are doing it there are ways to help cut it back. Add me as a friend if you want I would be glad to chat..been in treatment for eating disorders for long time..I know the things to do..I just dont always do them lol dont be so hard on yourself either..that isnt going to get you any where!

donicagalek · April 2011

Simple: Use your self-hatred to your advantage.

Go to a mirror and look at your face. Take a REALLY close look. See those dark circles? The enlarged pores? The beginning of wrinkles (or perhaps full-on wrinkles)? Are your teeth discolored? Your eyebrows, how bad are they? Man. You're a mess. :-D

Now, instead of spending your money on junk carbs you better spend it on skin care. And some on teeth whitening. And you need some tweezers for those eyebrows.

Using these things also takes time away from your binging. LOTS of time. A proper facial (facial wash, a face scrub, a mask and moisturizing) can take up to an hour and should be done a couple of times a week. Take care of ex-foliating everything else while your at it - get a loofah and some body lotion. Get a make-up regime, too.

How are your nails? File them and paint them. :-)

You get the idea.

absie107 · April 2011

Again, thank you for the suggestions everyone.

I guess I never have considered myself depressed - my grades are excellent, I like seeing/talking to friends most of the time, and generally things are good that way. I've never been abused or anything like that, no traumatic experiences or skeletons in the closet.

I won't lie, I think part of this lack of self confidence comes from high school and junior high, where I had a lot of guy friends, but no particular guy in my life. Guys would kind of poke fun at me for being the only girl on the drumline, and my senior year the two other senior guys told me to my face they didn't respect me because I'm a girl. I was rejected a lot when I finally mustered the courage to ask a guy out, my prom date (who was just my friend anyway) didn't buy me flowers/ditched me during the dance, and a lot of times my friends (or people who I thought were friends) would just ditch me after we made plans, usually for something or someone more exciting/attractive.

I think through all of that and then some other factors, I started wondering, what's wrong with me? Why can't I be beautiful enough? Why is it that I'm less worthy of attention? Don't get me wrong, I have a few very close friends that I've known for a long time, and I know those friendships are here to stay. But often I fear making myself vulnerable to others, I fear getting out there, because I'm scared I won't be good enough at some point, and I'll get hurt.

Anybody else have this experience?

donicagalek · April 2011

Again, thank you for the suggestions everyone.

I guess I never have considered myself depressed - my grades are excellent, I like seeing/talking to friends most of the time, and generally things are good that way. I've never been abused or anything like that, no traumatic experiences or skeletons in the closet.

I won't lie, I think part of this lack of self confidence comes from high school and junior high, where I had a lot of guy friends, but no particular guy in my life. Guys would kind of poke fun at me for being the only girl on the drumline, and my senior year the two other senior guys told me to my face they didn't respect me because I'm a girl. I was rejected a lot when I finally mustered the courage to ask a guy out, my prom date (who was just my friend anyway) didn't buy me flowers/ditched me during the dance, and a lot of times my friends (or people who I thought were friends) would just ditch me after we made plans, usually for something or someone more exciting/attractive.

I think through all of that and then some other factors, I started wondering, what's wrong with me? Why can't I be beautiful enough? Why is it that I'm less worthy of attention? Don't get me wrong, I have a few very close friends that I've known for a long time, and I know those friendships are here to stay. But often I fear making myself vulnerable to others, I fear getting out there, because I'm scared I won't be good enough at some point, and I'll get hurt.

Anybody else have this experience?

Cover for people often? Always there to help and take care of people's problems and they don't even ask and they sure as hell don't bother thanking? Are you the one that stays to help clean up the mess? Embarrassed by compliments to the point where you jokingly call someone a liar when they pay one to you?

It's called co-dependent. Welcome to the club. X-D

Some kinds of abuse don't register to us as being abuse. Or anyone else for that matter. I've had SO many doctors ask me if I was abused because of the way I am and I laughed because I was never molested or beaten. After reading up on the causes of co-dependency I found there are other kinds of psychological abuse out there. It's usually passed down for so many generations that your parent(s) never knew it was wrong. Find it, forgive it, be the better person. It's better than any praise you could get.

krise31 · April 2011

I actually think your binge eating stems from what you actually eat. Its a proven fact processed foods especially those filled with sugar only make you more hungry. Ever eat chinese food and like 2 hours later your hungry all over again?

I bet if you cut the junk food you're eating out of your diet go cold turkey for a few days you will notice your habit of binge eating begining to curb.

Please help me - binge eating

Replies

Categories