Eye Opener On Body Perceptions

WillPillageYourVillageForFood
WillPillageYourVillageForFood Posts: 777 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Earlier my 17 year old daughter was trying on an outfit to wear tomorrow and she looked in the mirror and said to me "I like this outfit cause I don't look uber-skinny, I actually look normal". It made me realize that for all the obsessing that I do about being skinny that even the skinny ones aren't always happy with the way they look. My daughter is very thin, but healthy, she plays soccer year round and is blessed with a high metabolism, but she does not like people commenting on how thin she is. After hearing her say she finally felt normal looking, I realized how hurtful "skinny" comments can be. It is just as devasting to be labeled the scrawny kid as being labeled the fat kid. I guess the point I am trying to make is that she opened my eyes to the fact that the quest for skinniness is not what I should be seeking but rather to be healthy looking.

Replies

  • WillPillageYourVillageForFood
    WillPillageYourVillageForFood Posts: 777 Member
    Earlier my 17 year old daughter was trying on an outfit to wear tomorrow and she looked in the mirror and said to me "I like this outfit cause I don't look uber-skinny, I actually look normal". It made me realize that for all the obsessing that I do about being skinny that even the skinny ones aren't always happy with the way they look. My daughter is very thin, but healthy, she plays soccer year round and is blessed with a high metabolism, but she does not like people commenting on how thin she is. After hearing her say she finally felt normal looking, I realized how hurtful "skinny" comments can be. It is just as devasting to be labeled the scrawny kid as being labeled the fat kid. I guess the point I am trying to make is that she opened my eyes to the fact that the quest for skinniness is not what I should be seeking but rather to be healthy looking.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    AWESOME.

    I can't tell you how much that has helped me with my body image. I used to want to be skinnnnnnnny...didn't want a butt, didn't want my thighs to touch, wanted my arms to be the same diameter from my wrist to my shoulder...teeny. But after realizing that being a waif doesn't equate to health or athleticism, I decided that I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be fit. I want to be strong and muscular and have endurance and speed and just an all-around athlete. Will a lower body fat come with that? Sure. But is that my first priority? No. I just want performance. Saying "I ran a marathon" sounds cooler to me than "I can fit my hands all the way around my waist." :smile:

    When you feel good about your body, your daughter will do the same, and it will save her a lot of heartache in the future. :flowerforyou:
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    AWESOME.

    I can't tell you how much that has helped me with my body image. I used to want to be skinnnnnnnny...didn't want a butt, didn't want my thighs to touch, wanted my arms to be the same diameter from my wrist to my shoulder...teeny. But after realizing that being a waif doesn't equate to health or athleticism, I decided that I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be fit. I want to be strong and muscular and have endurance and speed and just an all-around athlete. Will a lower body fat come with that? Sure. But is that my first priority? No. I just want performance. Saying "I ran a marathon" sounds cooler to me than "I can fit my hands all the way around my waist." :smile:

    When you feel good about your body, your daughter will do the same, and it will save her a lot of heartache in the future. :flowerforyou:

    You can fit your hands around your waist? :noway: :noway: :noway:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    AWESOME.

    I can't tell you how much that has helped me with my body image. I used to want to be skinnnnnnnny...didn't want a butt, didn't want my thighs to touch, wanted my arms to be the same diameter from my wrist to my shoulder...teeny. But after realizing that being a waif doesn't equate to health or athleticism, I decided that I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be fit. I want to be strong and muscular and have endurance and speed and just an all-around athlete. Will a lower body fat come with that? Sure. But is that my first priority? No. I just want performance. Saying "I ran a marathon" sounds cooler to me than "I can fit my hands all the way around my waist." :smile:

    When you feel good about your body, your daughter will do the same, and it will save her a lot of heartache in the future. :flowerforyou:

    You can fit your hands around your waist? :noway: :noway: :noway:

    'Saying "I ran a marathon" sounds cooler to me than
    "I can fit my hands all the way around my waist."
    :flowerforyou:
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    AWESOME.

    I can't tell you how much that has helped me with my body image. I used to want to be skinnnnnnnny...didn't want a butt, didn't want my thighs to touch, wanted my arms to be the same diameter from my wrist to my shoulder...teeny. But after realizing that being a waif doesn't equate to health or athleticism, I decided that I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be fit. I want to be strong and muscular and have endurance and speed and just an all-around athlete. Will a lower body fat come with that? Sure. But is that my first priority? No. I just want performance. Saying "I ran a marathon" sounds cooler to me than "I can fit my hands all the way around my waist." :smile:

    When you feel good about your body, your daughter will do the same, and it will save her a lot of heartache in the future. :flowerforyou:

    You can fit your hands around your waist? :noway: :noway: :noway:

    ROTFLMBO:laugh:

    Heck no!!! I mean that I'd rather be able to run a marathon than be able to do that! I have known some girls almost small enough though, and I used to think my waist was big just because there were room for organs in there. :tongue:
  • mstoni04
    mstoni04 Posts: 35
    :flowerforyou: So true. In my teens I purposely gained weight to be more voluptuous because that's what guys around here like. These last 15 or 20lbs came on there own, but I digress. It's about excepting yourself
  • elliott062907
    elliott062907 Posts: 1,508 Member
    Man I tell ya, in high school, I ran, swam, played soft ball and hiked all the time.
    I was a active tomboy. Weighed under 105 lbs freshman to senior years.

    I was actually told a few times I was fat because I has muscle.

    It startes at a early age. The whole body image thing. It is tough with peers around all the time for teenagers.

    But it's great that some teens actually are happy with the way they are.
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
    AWESOME.

    I can't tell you how much that has helped me with my body image. I used to want to be skinnnnnnnny...didn't want a butt, didn't want my thighs to touch, wanted my arms to be the same diameter from my wrist to my shoulder...teeny. But after realizing that being a waif doesn't equate to health or athleticism, I decided that I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be fit. I want to be strong and muscular and have endurance and speed and just an all-around athlete. Will a lower body fat come with that? Sure. But is that my first priority? No. I just want performance. Saying "I ran a marathon" sounds cooler to me than "I can fit my hands all the way around my waist." :smile:

    When you feel good about your body, your daughter will do the same, and it will save her a lot of heartache in the future. :flowerforyou:

    You can fit your hands around your waist? :noway: :noway: :noway:

    ROTFLMBO:laugh:

    Heck no!!! I mean that I'd rather be able to run a marathon than be able to do that! I have known some girls almost small enough though, and I used to think my waist was big just because there were room for organs in there. :tongue:

    Ohhhhhh-- whew-- I was scratchin' my head over that one-- 89.gif
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    AWESOME.

    I can't tell you how much that has helped me with my body image. I used to want to be skinnnnnnnny...didn't want a butt, didn't want my thighs to touch, wanted my arms to be the same diameter from my wrist to my shoulder...teeny. But after realizing that being a waif doesn't equate to health or athleticism, I decided that I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be fit. I want to be strong and muscular and have endurance and speed and just an all-around athlete. Will a lower body fat come with that? Sure. But is that my first priority? No. I just want performance. Saying "I ran a marathon" sounds cooler to me than "I can fit my hands all the way around my waist." :smile:

    When you feel good about your body, your daughter will do the same, and it will save her a lot of heartache in the future. :flowerforyou:
    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • frithir
    frithir Posts: 179 Member
    Unfortunately, even folks that are "to tall for their weight" (my husband says he's not under-weight, he's over-tall) are not excempt from what can sometimes be way beyond rude comments. One day at the store, some old biddy made a rude comment to my husband about "needing to lay off the crystal meth" :explode: Fortunately, I wasn't there at the time! Blanket assumptions are one of my most major pet peeves and when this woman looked at a very thin man with long hair and assumed that he was a junkie..............GRRRRRRR!!!!!:mad: :angry: :explode: He just laughed it off and walked off, which is even more proof that he's a better person than I am.
  • mariethai
    mariethai Posts: 85 Member
    Yes! My boyfriend too! My family is all big boned and to be honest a little overweight, but my boyfriend is slight of frame and over 6 foot. It drives me nuts when they say he's too skinny, or he needs to gain some weight, (or in the case of my mother 'he looks like a druggie :grumble: ).... Needless to say, he gets really self-conscious about it.

    He's superfit and literally he doesnt gain weight, doesnt seem to matter what he eats (which is annoying, especially when we go out for dinner and he eats italian pizza while I eat salad - I put on quite a bit of weight when we first got together just eating similar stuff!)

    I posted a link awhile got to body mass index that takes account of your body frame, he did it and came up in the 'normal' weight range, the normal BMI always has in underweight. It doesnt make any difference of course, but sometimes things like that are nice to know
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
    this post really hits home for me as well..thanks for the perspective!

    I, like songbyrd, spent my whole 'growing up' obsessing over being skinny, leading to a devastating eating disorder that landed me in the hospital during 9th grade. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way, and this post has helped me kind of 'reset' my adult perception of myself as well.

    My fianceé helps to remind me all the time, that stick thin is A) not attractive to him and B) is not something that my particular body will ever be. Ever. Even back when i was in the hospital as skin and bones 10 years ago, i weighed 125, which i STILL thought was fat then! I am much happier at a muscular 155 now that i finally figured out how to do this the right way. AND that skin and bones is neither healthy nor cute!
  • Renae_Nae
    Renae_Nae Posts: 935 Member
    I understand. Going through nursing school I was jealous of a friend how could eat everything and not gain a pound. Then she started complaining about how hard it was to find "adult" clothes because she always ended up in the kids section.
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