I'm constantly sabotaging my own efforts to diet!

talurve
talurve Posts: 3
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
Evening all. Does anyone have the same problem as me - constantly sabotaging their own efforts to lose weight? Actually, it probably doesn't really matter if anybody does, I think I just need to get this down in writing and off my chest, and maybe it will help me motivate myself. And you never know, someone might just have the answer I need! Here goes ...

I've got all the reasons in the world to lose weight but I just can't make myself do it. I'm a strong-willed person, I like to think I'm in control of my life and I know I can achieve anything if I put my mind to it ... but I can't control the food. It's not sweets and cakes - I don't have a sweet tooth in my head - but when the mood takes me (and that's most days), I can polish off a family-size bag of Doritos and a party-pack of dips, or a massive plate of chip-shop chips with beans and melted cheese on top. I'll finish whatever's on my plate, ignoring the 'I'm full' feeling. I know I can lose weight - I lost about 7 stone using lighter life, but I've put it all back on plus more since. I'm now 19 stone 6lb and I'm only 5ft 3.

I want to be fit and healthy enough to live long enough to see my 6-year old son grow up (I was a late starter - I had him when I was 42). It's bad enough being the oldest mum at the school gate, just think of the stick the poor soul's going to get as the other kids realise that I'm definitely the fattest one. I know it's a cliche but I want to be able to run around playing football with him, and go swimming, and riding a bike (sounds like a Bodyform advert!).

I've got elderly parents with their own problems (dementia, stroke, heart) and I need to be fit and strong enough to care for them but also I don't want to end up with the same kind of health problems. I'm lucky so far because I seem to have got away with anything major, although my hip and knee are giving me some gyp. But I've had a couple of panic attacks just recently which I've never suffered with before, and they scared the living daylights out of me.

I'd like to be able to wear nice clothes and to look nice in them. The group of mums that I hang around with are younger and slimmer than me, and although they're never anything other than nice and kind to me, I know they're pitying me because I'm so fat. I've got bags upon bags of clothes shoved up in the loft, none of which fit me. I've got it covered from size 12 right up to a size 24! If I buy anything, I always think 'oh I'll get a smaller size because I'm going to lose weight, and it'll be a waste to buy something nice and only get a little use out of it'.

I start each week with good intentions. I have a pot of soup for lunch each day, with some fruit to snack on during the day, and I use the FitnessPal app on my phone to keep a list of what I'm eating, but the best I've managed tiemo do is a week. I did lose about half a stone during that time but then my willpower deserted me, and I listened to the little voice in my head that said 'ah but you've done so well over the last week, you deserve to have something nice to eat'. Fatal. Yep, the whole half stone went sliding back on again like it had never been away.

I've got a right posh do to go to at the end of May - one of the mum's is having a 40th bash in a private room in a local swish restaurant and it's a black tie event, so I really want to look nice in a long dress (which is so not my style but I'm going for it!). And the day after, we're going on our first holiday abroad since my son was born (how the hell I'm going to wedge my fat butt in the plane seat, I don't know - and that's making me feel panicky too).

I just don't understand it. I feel so much better when I'm losing weight, I've got more energy, and I'm happier. I've got so many reasons to lose weight. So why can't I make myself do it?

I'm sorry for waffling on for so long. It's been cathartic though!

Replies

  • beatlemom
    beatlemom Posts: 250 Member
    I did the same thing for years! You can do it, you just have to make it your priority! One of my reasons for switching to a healthier way of eating and living is to positively influence my son. I want to teach him healthy ways so he doesn't struggle when he is an adult. Thats my main motivation. And now that I finally took the plunge- I am SO glad I did. It's SO worth it. And I feel better!
  • nnoland
    nnoland Posts: 15 Member
    I know how you feel because I am exactly the same way. I'm seeing a Nutritionist who has given me some advise. 1) eat more earlier so you arent' likely to binge later on. 2) You can't keep snacky food or whatever you are likely to binge on around the house. 3) Read the Solution, it's a good book there may be underlying emotions or some other type of thing that is causing you to soothe yourself with food. Also know that any day you try or start off is better than just giving up. Ask your friends if any of them are dieting and get receipe ideas. Make playdates that involve walking, etc. I find the more I exercise the more I don't feel like eating junk food. Good luck. Keep coming here! A lot of us are in the same boat, even though nobody really talks about it, that's why I like this site :D
  • Walt75
    Walt75 Posts: 182 Member
    I'm no doctor or nothing but it sounds like you're eating cause of stress. All the foods you mentioned are high carb comfort foods and you seem to be craving them in large numbers. Can I ask: do you smoke or have any other "vices" besides eating? Perhaps your doctor can perscribe something like buproprian.
  • nachisdoll
    nachisdoll Posts: 192 Member
    Boy do I hear you loud and clear! Im 27 and a mom of 3!!! Im currently weighing in at 200lbs (a number i swore id never go to again) I feel like sometimes i must just hate myself...cuz ill have a good day and then come home and nibble at this nibbble at that...and ruin a whole day of good work...we need to dig deep inside ourselves and tell ourselves we are better then this! we are strong women we can do ANYTHING! We will do this! We WILL lose the weight and keep it off FOR GOOD this time! Im here for you!!!! I wish I had a secret weapon to overcome this all
  • talurve
    talurve Posts: 3
    You're right - my son should be my motivation but .... it's just not working! He said to me the other day 'isn't it funny mum that I eat all the sweets but it's you that's fat'. Shut me right up, that did!

    I think you're right about the stress though - I don't smoke or drink alcohol (or even a can of coke - mostly water for me!) - but the food is definitely for comfort. I can't get rid of the stresses in my life though, I have to deal with them. But surely my brain must get the point that if I make myself ill by stuffing my face, it's just going to add to the stress!

    While I'm not glad that you're all in the same boat as me, I'm glad I'm not alone! Cheers :smile:
  • 3kidsin3years
    3kidsin3years Posts: 116 Member
    Hi there! Just wanted to let you know, people out there are reading this! =) I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who have been or are in your shoes. I myself have a tough time telling myself that I can't eat just any old thing, I've got to make it count. I've always felt I've been able to eat anything, but after "growing up" and getting a desk job, then having 3 kids in 3 years on top of it, that's not the case anymore, and it caught up to me. We all have those days where we just want to delve into the chip bag/cookie jar/cake, but we're all learning a little at a time how to curb those feelings. This is a wonderful support system on here, what if, whenever you get one of your binge feelings, you look at a list of reasons you've written down why you want to lose, and then get on here and look at some success stories with before and after pictures? You can always make a blog post like this one and get your feelings out there, then maybe the cravings will go away? Lots of ideas, hopefully you find something that works for you, but remember, we're all here if you need us! =)
  • susancelli928
    susancelli928 Posts: 190
    Well it sounds to me like you are afraid!!! You have all the right intentions and know how, but you don't follow thru! I am the opposite of you, I am the youngest granndmom I know, (46 years old with 15 grandkids aging from 12 1/2 all the way down to a year old). I am raising my oldest granddaughter and have since the day she was born. I want to be able to enjoy my grandkids to the every extent that I can for as long as possible.

    When I first started my weight loss fight I weighed over 300 lbs and am down to 216 lbs. It is an everyday struggle not to eat the chips, pretzels, nachos, etc.. I say to myself oh it will be okay I will just start again tomorrow.. But tomorrow is another fight and battle. If I don't say NO now then it will always be "tomorrow". I have had 2 heartattacks and congestive heart failure, high blood pressure and who knows what else. I don't want my grandkids watch me slowly die because I keep saying "tomorrow" You have to fight the urges and temptation and you will become so PROUD of YOU,... Do this for you!!!! Good Luck on your journey and know you are not alone
  • cathybuonantuono
    cathybuonantuono Posts: 8
    I think that losing weight is much like any changes we feel needs to be changed. You have to really want to do it for you and only you before it will work. For instance, I smoke and for years I keep saying I am going to quit. I will try but then after a couple of days I give in to the cravings and light up a cigarette. I know I need to quit as cancer runs rampant in my family and my mom and kids keep after me but I also know that until I am really ready, I will find every excuse not to.

    I struggle with staying on my diet also. I will do really good all week long and if I lose weight, I tell myself I deserve a treat so I will eat a candy bar or grab the bag of chips. Once I have eaten them, I feel really guilty and tell myself I will do better the next day. Thankfully I have lost 50 pounds so I know I can do it. For some reason I am having a really hard time with this last 30 pounds. Still trying to figure it out.

    When you are ready to do it for you (not your son, not your parents but just for you) I think you will find it much easier to stick to it. Good luck and I hope that you are successful as I can guarantee you will feel much better.
  • nachisdoll
    nachisdoll Posts: 192 Member
    Wow you guys are all so wonderful and helpful! I feel so warm and fuzzy knowing there are so many ppl out there who are going through the same thing as me! and there are ppl who have gotten over it and lost the weight! WE CAN DO THIS!:happy:
  • Lele71
    Lele71 Posts: 76
    I can understand what you are going through because I have been there myself. I have been taking care of my mom since she suffered a severe stroke 15 years ago and I have found when I am stressed that I tend to binge. I decided that it is time to change and then I found this site. Now when I get stressed instead of eating I work out. I have found that working out does help with the stress and I feel so much better. I hope that you are able to get back on track.
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