The sabotagger

Sasha_Bear
Sasha_Bear Posts: 625 Member
edited September 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
What would make a person who knows your dieting go to the bakery 3 times in one week and bring you stuff back each time? WTF:noway: Why is this man trying to sabotage my weight loss effort? I even asked why do you keep bringing me all this crap, his reply was to tempt me with! :grumble: Seriously dude? I have developed some great will power living in the same house with this man so most of the time I am able to dodge the urge indulge in the sweets, but just having them there staring at me makes this a lot more harder then it has to be!

I mean how do you handle someone who seems to be doing every thing they can to discourage your efforts? Is anyone else dealing with a sabotager, discourager or someone who seems to clearly want you to fail?

Replies

  • bootoou
    bootoou Posts: 22
    he must feel threatened that your going to loose weight and kick him to the curb..... just tell him please stop cause it is pushing you away.... he needs to be on your support team...
  • franvas819
    franvas819 Posts: 1
    Everytime he brings you something say thank you very much and then toss it in the garbage. He will get the drift that he is wasting his time and money!!! Stay focused and dont let anyone bring you down :) He is drinking tall glasses of Hater -ade ! Keep your head up !
  • mapinkerton
    mapinkerton Posts: 147
    I would dump the stuff out of the bag/wrapper into the garbage can or garbage disposal and tell him THAT is what I think of the GARBAGE he is bringing home! I would also tell him that is were all junk non-healthy stuff will go when he brings it home.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    I agree. Throw it out and make sure he knows where it is going.
  • DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo
    DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo Posts: 296
    myhusband does this..but he isnt intentionally trying to sabotage me.... he says he doesnt know if I will want it or not and he is happy to eat it if I dont.... he just hasnt got used to my new lifestyle
  • Pandorian
    Pandorian Posts: 2,055 Member
    Yeah thank him and toss it, he'll get the point in a hurry. Once he realizes that he's not going to tempt you into it, the money spent on the stuff hitting the trash could be buying you more of the healthy items you actually want ;)
  • pelleld
    pelleld Posts: 363 Member
    I think its time for a serious converstaion with him about this. He may feel threatened by the new you, afraid what it means for him when you've reached goal, etc. You need to talk to him about how important he and his support are to you and make him understand why sabatoging you is dangerous to your relationship. Just throwing the stuff in the trash won't get to the root of the problem, IMHO.
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
    I agree throw it out... but first pour water over it!! that way it just looks unappetizing.

    And tell him exactly how it is making you feel, and how it is distancing him from you. Also tell him that the food that he is bringin home is bad for you, but its not the only thing, his attitude is just as bad and detrimental to your over all well being.

    That is completely evil of him to do to you.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    My husband does it with cheese, knowing that's the one thing I can't resist, but he's not doing it spitefully, he buys it because he knows I love it, and always buys me things I like. He just hasn't quite put 2 and 2 together yet.
  • Sasha_Bear
    Sasha_Bear Posts: 625 Member
    Maybe I'm being a little unfair to say that he is trying to sabotage me, I really don't know what his purpose is because when I wanted the Jillian Michael dvd he went out and got it for me, When I needed weights he went the very next day and bought me weights? I had to have Zumba for the Wii he also got that one.

    Throwing the sweets out was my first thought but knowing how he loves sweets I figured eventually he would eat them up anyway once he noticed I haven't touched it. Maybe he just don't want to be fat by himself?
  • Sasha_Bear
    Sasha_Bear Posts: 625 Member
    My husband does it with cheese, knowing that's the one thing I can't resist, but he's not doing it spitefully, he buys it because he knows I love it, and always buys me things I like. He just hasn't quite put 2 and 2 together yet.


    I think you may be right because before I started this we use to love food together so maybe he is just still in a habit of buying me the things I once loved.
  • sam363
    sam363 Posts: 204 Member
    What would make a person who knows your dieting go to the bakery 3 times in one week and bring you stuff back each time? WTF:noway: Why is this man trying to sabotage my weight loss effort? I even asked why do you keep bringing me all this crap, his reply was to tempt me with! :grumble: Seriously dude? I have developed some great will power living in the same house with this man so most of the time I am able to dodge the urge indulge in the sweets, but just having them there staring at me makes this a lot more harder then it has to be!

    I mean how do you handle someone who seems to be doing every thing they can to discourage your efforts? Is anyone else dealing with a sabotager, discourager or someone who seems to clearly want you to fail?

    I would throw it in the garbage right in front of his face. If he can see that he's wasting his money he will stop. It's not easy but you know that your point will be taken seriously.
  • sam363
    sam363 Posts: 204 Member
    Maybe I'm being a little unfair to say that he is trying to sabotage me, I really don't know what his purpose is because when I wanted the Jillian Michael dvd he went out and got it for me, When I needed weights he went the very next day and bought me weights? I had to have Zumba for the Wii he also got that one.

    Throwing the sweets out was my first thought but knowing how he loves sweets I figured eventually he would eat them up anyway once he noticed I haven't touched it. Maybe he just don't want to be fat by himself?

    In this case, maybe you need to tell him how it makes you feel before he does it again. It sounds like he is trying to be supportive and also be thoughful by bringing something home for you. If he really wants to bring you something then let him know what you would like beforehand that way you are sure to get something you are comfortable eating.
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
    I think its time for a serious converstaion with him about this. He may feel threatened by the new you, afraid what it means for him when you've reached goal, etc. You need to talk to him about how important he and his support are to you and make him understand why sabatoging you is dangerous to your relationship. Just throwing the stuff in the trash won't get to the root of the problem, IMHO.

    I agree with this.
  • Sasha_Bear
    Sasha_Bear Posts: 625 Member
    Thanks everyone for all your input!
  • Sasha_Bear
    Sasha_Bear Posts: 625 Member
    Maybe I'm being a little unfair to say that he is trying to sabotage me, I really don't know what his purpose is because when I wanted the Jillian Michael dvd he went out and got it for me, When I needed weights he went the very next day and bought me weights? I had to have Zumba for the Wii he also got that one.

    Throwing the sweets out was my first thought but knowing how he loves sweets I figured eventually he would eat them up anyway once he noticed I haven't touched it. Maybe he just don't want to be fat by himself?

    In this case, maybe you need to tell him how it makes you feel before he does it again. It sounds like he is trying to be supportive and also be thoughful by bringing something home for you. If he really wants to bring you something then let him know what you would like beforehand that way you are sure to get something you are comfortable eating.


    I think I will give this a try!
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