Do I really want to commit to this?

So this is post number 502 for me on MFP. What have I done in those last 500 posts? Well, not as much as I would have wanted to, that's for sure.

It's easy to be hard on myself, but it's also easy to take it as a learning experience. It's a lot of little things that combine to make the bigger things. I wrote a blog about this earlier on today, so I won't go into all the explicit details of what I discovered about myself. I will however ask the question - do I really want to take this to the next level?

I think I'm doing okay with the exercise component, and have found something I can stick with. But what about food? That's what is really sticking out for me right now. I know I can do this, I know it. I did it before. So why is it so damn hard now?

I know what I have to do, because foods are starting to affect me differently now then they did 10 years ago. I don't want to say that I'm getting old, because I'm not, but the days of downing half a dozen beers and a whole pizza before crashing and sleeping in until noon before doing it all over again are NOT what they used to be.

I'm seriously considering taking things to the next level. I don't mean cutting out fats and carbs and sugars and things like that (which I will pay close attention to anyways) but REALLY getting down to the nitty gritty. I'm talking about making vegetable juices that carry maximum nutritional properties for breakfast or planning my meals so that I get the most out of each food. I want to eat for health and vitality.

The thing is, I live with my mom, and I know she's not so much onto this. I'm absolutely sure she would have no problem with me cooking dinner each night, so I'm okay there. The thing is, I don't know if I want to make this my lifestyle 100% of the time, or if I'm okay with sticking around 90%. Either way, 90% is much better than the 30% I'm currently sitting at.

So let's do the math. I'm a mathy by nature, so I tend to see things more clearly when they are in number form. Let's say I eat 6 times a day. That's 42 meals a week. Therefore, to reach the 90%, 37.8 of my meals would have to be clean/healthy. So even if I couldn't get everyone on board to eat healthy with me, the meals I do have on my own (5 out of 6) could be impeccably clean and healthy, and that would put me at 83%. If I only cooked two healthy dinners a week that both of us would enjoy, that would shoot up the percentage to 88%.

It doesn't look so hard now!

So I'm either going to make the commitment to do this, to live optimally, to really PAY attention to what I put into my body, or I'm just going to be happy with the way I am. I'm either going to complain about feeling crummy and not having energy, or I'm going to do something about it. I need to make this change, I really do. I WANT to make this change.

I'll need all the support I can get....