Why I hate facebook, account officially deactivated.

michlingle
michlingle Posts: 797 Member
edited September 25 in Chit-Chat
So I deactivated my facebook, and here is the last time I will comment or reference anything about the site. I need to vent, and I am not a blogger. So here it goes....

I am tired of reading about people in a way that is so narcissistic. I find myself feeling envious and jealous of certain people, or of their baby stories, and all those damn workouts that people feel the need to post daily. It's almost as if when I don't post updates about the above topics, then they don't exist in my life. But they do! They do exist, but I just don't feel the need to put it out there on a daily basis to all my "friends." I know that mfp has similar characteristics to facebook. But at least here, I really only know one person in my "real" life, and I don't feel the need to prove anything to that person. But on facebook, there are many people I feel the need to continuously prove myself to. There are the cousins I barely see, or the friend from high school that I haven't seen in years but was only added as my friend so we could snoop on each other's life progression.....I kinda just hate it. I find myself thinking about what a good status update my latest thoughts would be. But honestly, why do I think that anyone cares? Do I have to share that I spent the day in my pajamas or that I'm really enjoying a glass of red? Because at the end of the day, no on really cares, we're all just in it for the same reasons. To compare ourselves to others and to use others as a gague for our own lives. I know it serves a purpose, like keeping in touch with family who live far away, but do I really need to see photos of my niece "posing" and making the cute frowny face, or the cute ugly face, or the cute kissy face a hundred different ways, but they all end up looking the same? Maybe it's the list of friends I have, but it really is a part of my life I no longer want. And NO, I wasn't a facebook addict, probably 10-15 minutes a day, but I never logged off the site and had a good feeling, but when I log off mfp I do have a good feeling. I am spending time doing something that is healthy, I think facebook is very unhealthy. Thanks for listening. :smile:
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Replies

  • ambie35
    ambie35 Posts: 853 Member
    I hear ya,I still have mine going to at current,but I don't spend more then 1-15 mins a day on it. Just leaves me feeling yuck.
  • TheNewDanielle
    TheNewDanielle Posts: 87
    I completely agree with you on facebook.. I find myself envious of others in my life, as if my life is actually worth less because I haven't succeeded similarly. Good job deactivating... I'm not quite that strong because it's a source of mindless, game entertainment while at work lol
  • DowntimeDesigns
    DowntimeDesigns Posts: 134 Member
    Facebook makes me feel like I don't have a life. Everyone seems to be out living their lives - drinking, getting engaged, getting married, having kids., etc. and here I sit... alone... counting calories.
  • 3ur3ka
    3ur3ka Posts: 230 Member
    I wish I had people who didn't ***** about their lives on my friends list. 90% of the posts I see on facebook is a complaint of some sort. I probably won't deactivate my account because I really do use it to communicate with my huge family. We all live in different time zones and have hectic lives so it is hard to be able to call at a decent time.


    I did delete my old myspace account for the reasons you did away with your facebook though. and people stealing pictures of my son.
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
    And this is why I never joined Facebook to begin with. The people in my life who care about me already know what I'm up to. The rest don't matter.
  • WarmDontBurn
    WarmDontBurn Posts: 1,253 Member
    Never had FB and never will. I don't care enough to post about my every minute. I think if I was on it I would be a lot like you....always trying to prove myself...eek. It would be like being back in high school...NO THANK YOU!....lol.

    To each their own though...I know people who post every detail and I worry for those people....random stangers know too much sometimes and to me that is plain freaky.
  • simplexserenity
    simplexserenity Posts: 116 Member
    Totally, completely, utterly 100% agree with you. THANK YOU for making me feel like I'm not the only person who feels this way.

    Downtime Designs: You're TOTALLY not alone staying in counting calories. We're working towards having a better future, nothing
    to be ashamed of =)
  • michlingle
    michlingle Posts: 797 Member
    Facebook makes me feel like I don't have a life. Everyone seems to be out living their lives - drinking, getting engaged, getting married, having kids., etc. and here I sit... alone... counting calories.

    Ha ha you snarky fella :wink: But I get your drift, I think you would agree though that sitting on one's *kitten* counting calories after a good workout is better than sitting on one's *kitten* reading about other people's boring day...we are not regressing on mfp!!!!!
  • mandamama
    mandamama Posts: 250
    Guess I am the opposite, I enjoy facebook, I enjoy seeing my friends children that I wouldn't normally see through pictures, I enjoy connecting with my friends, who are all in one little convinent spot.
    When I post something its becuase I am actually proud of it (like working out) not becuase I am in competition with anyone, I don't view it that way at all, I see it as a quick way of sharing whats going on in everyones lives.
    That being said, I only have people on mine that I do actually give a flying crap to know whats going on with them, and the people who feed off drama. boom deleted. its just facebook I have no qualms with deleting people or not adding people I don't care to talk to in real life :)
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    I think part of what you’re touching on is the way that social media has the ability to make us constantly feel as though we are missing out. And if we struggle with emptiness, with not feeling enough, seeing the microscopic details of other’s lives just increases that feeling. I just read an article by one of the founders of Flickr that touches on this subject. You might find it interesting, or not: http://caterina.net/wp-archives/71
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
    And this is why I never joined Facebook to begin with. The people in my life who care about me already know what I'm up to. The rest don't matter.
    Agreed!:drinker: :smokin: :ohwell:
  • DowntimeDesigns
    DowntimeDesigns Posts: 134 Member
    Downtime Designs: You're TOTALLY not alone staying in counting calories. We're working towards having a better future, nothing to be ashamed of =)
    Well thats good, because my Friday/Saturday nights are LAME! I just hope my "better future" gets here soon, because I'm bored...

    Ha ha you snarky fella :wink: But I get your drift, I think you would agree though that sitting on one's *kitten* counting calories after a good workout is better than sitting on one's *kitten* reading about other people's boring day...we are not regressing on mfp!!!!!
    Oh I'm bitter, lol. I try not to sit on my *kitten* and do either, but when my choices are "go out drinking" because thats all my single friends do. Or sit home and not do anything, I often choose the latter to preserve my workouts.
  • Levedi
    Levedi Posts: 290 Member
    Lol! I like facebook, but I get the same way. If I see one more "isn't my baby cute" update I may unfriend certain people. No - really, your baby isn't cute. She's a spoiled brat. And you are in total denial. This is why I turn down friend requests even from people I know.

    Guy I didn't really like in college who's now married and probably trolling for dates - denied!
    douchy racist cousin who thinks he's smarter than everyone because he has a law degree - denied!

    On the other hand I found my best friend from second grade on FB. Turns out she's still a pretty cool person.
  • fullofhope
    fullofhope Posts: 78 Member
    I only have one thing to say, a quote by Elenor Roosevelt. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Think about it.
  • amjmomma
    amjmomma Posts: 41
    Facebook makes me feel like I don't have a life. Everyone seems to be out living their lives - drinking, getting engaged, getting married, having kids., etc. and here I sit... alone... counting calories.
    Ohhh, sad! For what it's worth, you have a great smile! =)
  • cklbrown
    cklbrown Posts: 4,696 Member
    Facebook makes me feel like I don't have a life. Everyone seems to be out living their lives - drinking, getting engaged, getting married, having kids., etc. and here I sit... alone... counting calories.

    Sitting counting calories seems to be working for you. You look great and you have made such good progress!
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    I am with you. No Facebook, or twitter, your space ( or my space). Except for MFP no other social network in my life. Guess what? I AM HAPPY!!
  • LexieSweetheart
    LexieSweetheart Posts: 793 Member
    Facebook makes me feel like I don't have a life. Everyone seems to be out living their lives - drinking, getting engaged, getting married, having kids., etc. and here I sit... alone... counting calories.


    OMG I feel the exact same way!! everyone is out loving and living life. while i sit at home playing farmville
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,571 Member
    Guess I am the opposite, I enjoy facebook, I enjoy seeing my friends children that I wouldn't normally see through pictures, I enjoy connecting with my friends, who are all in one little convinent spot.
    When I post something its becuase I am actually proud of it (like working out) not becuase I am in competition with anyone, I don't view it that way at all, I see it as a quick way of sharing whats going on in everyones lives.
    That being said, I only have people on mine that I do actually give a flying crap to know whats going on with them, and the people who feed off drama. boom deleted. its just facebook I have no qualms with deleting people or not adding people I don't care to talk to in real life :)

    I'm with mandamama. I enjoy facebook but there are a few folks on there I just ignore. I also have teenagers and that is why I initially opened an account, just to make certain they weren't posting things they shouldn't. Then I started finding old friends, hearing about family members who live far away, planning my high school reunion and playing those darn games and now I'm on it more than my kids! I don't post anything about my workouts, weight loss or even our vacations on FB. I'm a somewhat private person so don't tell my real life friends how much I weigh or what I've eaten -that's what my MFP friends are for (aren't they lucky!). But boy, between the two sites, I spend waaaayyy too much time on the computer.
  • samcee
    samcee Posts: 307
    My first fb account was deleted due to an unpleasant stalking incident. Also found out that my ex has cheated on me via fb when someone I didn't know sent me pictures of him being intimate with another girl. So I guess I'm glad I had it at the time because I don't think I would of found out otherwise and he would of wasted even more of my time and life.

    I had every imaginable person on there and it's ridiculous because I'll never talk to these old school friends and acquaintances. It does become somewhat of a popularity contest with bragging rights. I've reopened a new account since than and keeping only limited amount of close friends that I currently talk to and care about. It's good when we go out and one of us brings a camera who will uploads it for all to see too. I've moved away from my friends and its nice to share pictures and stories when I don't have time to meet them.
  • DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo
    DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo Posts: 296
    I dont mind social networking, but I think people spend so much time updating statuses that they neglect face to face interactions... I got rid of my FB because I found myself spending more time chatting with folks that Id much rather hang out with face to face.... for everyone else, there is email...

    I LOATHE those minute by minute, hour by hour updates.... I don't need to know you are going to pick lil Jimmy up from Day Care and then heading to Pizza Hut....

    and worse are the self-righteous who need to post a "motivating" piece everyday... Puh-LEEZE!!

    and then the ones who suffer from TMI-Syndrome... everyone isnt meant to know every detail between you & your mate, or lack thereof... we don't need to know what bodily functions kept you up all night....

    but after ALL of that, FB doesn't make me feel inadequate... and it has helped me get re-acquainted with some folks I miss and also made me realize why I left some folks in the past....
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I like FB, it serves a purpose (my little sister lives in Africa and I only see her 3 times a year, so it's great to be able to see her photos and she can see my children). I have a few close friends I live a long way from and rarely see, and I like keeping up with them, but I get the life gauge thing. But then most of the people I know in real life have so much more than I do, I find myself envying them more than my facebook friends.
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
    I like facebook. I like seeing what my friends and thier families are up to.My friends and I use it to arrange playdates, mommy night outs, find out if a certain place was worththe trip, you name it. I have never once thought to think that someone else life was better than mine because of the things they do. Everyone is different, waht may be or may not be exciting to one may not be to another. That doesnt mean that what I do isnt as "cool" or exciting as someone else's. I am happy with my life the way it is so someone else could be buying a mansion and getting married to a prince and I still wouldnt feel like my life sucks. I think the OP was reading way more into FB than its intention and if others people lives made the OP feel insignificant then thats a whole nother problem aside from FB
  • michlingle
    michlingle Posts: 797 Member
    Oh never mind....I give up. I'm glad to see most people get my drift. I don't feel bad about my feelings about facebook. I don't have issues, I don't need a shrink. Was just sharing a thought. I think sometimes we jump on the bandwagon of certain things that become popular and don't see them for what they really are because everyone's doing it.
  • diverchic73
    diverchic73 Posts: 314 Member
    Guess I am the opposite, I enjoy facebook, I enjoy seeing my friends children that I wouldn't normally see through pictures, I enjoy connecting with my friends, who are all in one little convinent spot.
    When I post something its becuase I am actually proud of it (like working out) not becuase I am in competition with anyone, I don't view it that way at all, I see it as a quick way of sharing whats going on in everyones lives.
    That being said, I only have people on mine that I do actually give a flying crap to know whats going on with them, and the people who feed off drama. boom deleted. its just facebook I have no qualms with deleting people or not adding people I don't care to talk to in real life :)

    I agree with that. When I'm down I can feel like others are leading better lives than me but then I remind myself that I am making myself feel that way... not my friends.
    I love seeing my friends babies, houses, lives as we are spread out around the world and cannot always afford to call or manage time zones well enough to stay in touch. Some of us are just not good at writing letters so little updates on fb keep us in touch.

    It is whatever you make of it I think. Some friends of mine choose not to use it and I respect that. Me, I prefer to use it.

    Congrats on deleting your account and focusing on other means of staying in touch though :-)
  • tsgaddy
    tsgaddy Posts: 96 Member
    Guess I am the opposite, I enjoy facebook, I enjoy seeing my friends children that I wouldn't normally see through pictures, I enjoy connecting with my friends, who are all in one little convinent spot.
    When I post something its becuase I am actually proud of it (like working out) not becuase I am in competition with anyone, I don't view it that way at all, I see it as a quick way of sharing whats going on in everyones lives.
    That being said, I only have people on mine that I do actually give a flying crap to know whats going on with them, and the people who feed off drama. boom deleted. its just facebook I have no qualms with deleting people or not adding people I don't care to talk to in real life :)

    Ditto. I mean, sure sometimes the updates hit hard when I think about wanting children and not having them yet etc, but I'm SUPER happy for other people's successes, just as I hope they'll be/are happy for mine.

    Are we becoming a society that sees positivity as just "showing off"? I hope not, because I don't want to live in that world. Furthermore, I wonder when the OP will start to give up on MFP because of all of the positive updates we have on here? I can see it now: "I'm leaving MFP because I'm sick of people who post that they burned a hella lotta calories on the elliptical or that they lost another 4 pounds. What show offs..."

    I'm being a bit facetious (I hope), but my God it must be sad to want to live that way.
  • erinnmcpherson
    erinnmcpherson Posts: 27
    I amost deleted mine for the SAME reason last week, but didn't bc there ARE a few friend's profiles I like to look at and get updates from. I "hide" all of the annoying people, and I also went into my settings and blocked certain people from seeing my posts. I deleted 300 ppl from my page, and I rarely log on. I get push notifications to my phone and mostly just do that so I can see if someone I DO care to hear from sends me a message or wall post. Don't let it trouble you, you'll figure it out ;)
  • michlingle
    michlingle Posts: 797 Member
    If you read my post a little more closely you would have seen that this has nothing to do with mfp.....forget it.
  • tsgaddy
    tsgaddy Posts: 96 Member
    If you read my post a little more closely you would have seen that this has nothing to do with mfp.....forget it.

    I did read it - actually twice before I commented. Please don't take this as an attack. You are certainly entitled to your feelings about Facebook and/or the seemingly successful lives of old acquaintances. What I took from it was that it's only a matter of time before you start hating everyone who has lost weight and/or had a great workout on MFP too (IMHO).

    You are more than welcomed to disagree. That's why they're called opinions. Everyone has one. Just like - well you get my drift.
  • michlingle
    michlingle Posts: 797 Member
    And I think everyone knows what happens when you assume....darn it, I couldn't resist.
This discussion has been closed.

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