How many of us

mental, side of it for me, some physical but not much with my parents. Yep I had many girlfriends whom abused using manipulation and head games, then went onto one whom I was almost engaged to who went as far as physical abuse to me, in the end I wised up, got smarter and stopped the cycle and ended up with a great woman whom I love very much. I will not see it passed onto my children. In my opinion there is no good reason to pass on abuse because you endured it from others, its something you need to turn into a positive. I learned exactly what to avoid after I got myself healthy mentally and learned the warning flags which tell you to stay away.

Just got out of an emotionally and physically abusive relationship in December.

i suffered sexual, mental and physical abuse(started about 3 up until i was nearly 23!)...i took my abuser to trial for it and the judge said it was the worst case of child abuse(4 of my 5 siblings testified too) he'd ever seen and the abuser got LIFE(with a minimum 10yrs)

i actually went on to have one of the most loving wonderful husbands the world has ever known...he actually helped save me from my abuser

I had an abusive child hood- watching my dad verbaly and physically abuse my mother... etc etc. Then as a young teen being abused in a number of ways by a "friend of the family"... no one knew it was happening for years, and at 13 yrs old I didn't know what to do. Eventually, after years of depression and self hate I decided that there were only two choices: Let it destroy me and wallow in self pity, seeking enablement of laziness from others, OR: learn from it, rise above it, become stronger for it and make myself a better person who would never stand for that again. I chose the latter. I never had an abusive relationship as an adult, but some were borderline by neglect of my emotional wellbeing... Now though I am so very happily married to a wonderful man who does everything he can to show me how much he loves and appreciates me every day. To those that feel like they are made to be the bad person by being a victim, you CAN rise above it. You just have to want to.

Oh yeah, then domestic abuse in two of my relationships.

I am breaking the cycle.

Also, I have decided that for my own, and my child's safety, I am not going to have children. EVER.

No abuse in my childhood that I remember, but abuse in my adulthood. 2 bad marriages, the 1st physical, mental and emotional. I managed to get out of it after 2 years. The 2nd, well not physical, but I'm stuck in it.

I'm struggling to find the point in discussing the problems of my past. The abuse I suffered as a child is not why I gained weight. The reason I gained weight was I went from an active lifestyle to a sedentary one without changing my diet. My abuser is unrelated to my weight gain or anything else in my current life.

I think that we give too much weight (pun unintended) to the perils of our pasts rather than taking responsibility for our current circumstances. I don't want to detract from the severity of the abuse, but rather point out that maybe in a world of therapists we value our emotional responses to our problems too highly. In other words, rather than discussing how we got in ther war, now that we're here, let's grab a shovel, build our foxholes and start fighting.

Sorry if I've offended or upset anyone, this is just an opinion.