I'm Sending This To DH.

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NewMK08
NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
in Chit-Chat
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to a woman and he takes his very life into his own hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Replies

  • NewMK08
    NewMK08 Posts: 399 Member
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    The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth to a woman and he takes his very life into his own hands.

    This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

    DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
    SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
    SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
    SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
    SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
    SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
    SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
    SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
    SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    :laugh: :heart: :laugh:
  • omid990
    omid990 Posts: 785 Member
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    love it!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • tookieb
    tookieb Posts: 89
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    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: OH SO TRUE!!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's so funny!
  • jimswmn
    jimswmn Posts: 1,350 Member
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    So funny yet so true.:happy:
  • Livi_Loves_Pink
    Livi_Loves_Pink Posts: 754
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    :laugh: :laugh: Great!
  • Girlmom282109
    Girlmom282109 Posts: 2,643 Member
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    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
    ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    My husband said this o me last night. I had 150 calories left and I had a bowl of cereal that put me over 25 calories and I just got so upset at him. I was like heaven forbid I went over for the first time with out exercising. I was sooo mad. he was like I'm just trying to help.
  • Jackie_W
    Jackie_W Posts: 1,676 Member
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    barmy.gif
  • tretoptreece
    tretoptreece Posts: 425 Member
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    2008?! Wow!
  • Dadof3bbg40
    Dadof3bbg40 Posts: 148 Member
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    What's the big deal about getting your period? Even having to put on makeup and blow dry your hair for 90 minutes every morning?? Or carrying a baby for 40 weeks and pushing that thing out??? Big deal.
  • tretoptreece
    tretoptreece Posts: 425 Member
    edited July 2015
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    Yeah for real, I totally nailed that 3 times! Yawn. (Baby pushing out)
  • Dadof3bbg40
    Dadof3bbg40 Posts: 148 Member
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    Haha! Sorry! Was just being silly! Haha
    Props to you all!
  • tretoptreece
    tretoptreece Posts: 425 Member
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    Actually that list up there, doesn't speak for me. Some women are just vindictive and feel entitled or something. 6 out of nine of these posters including the OP are inactive. Maybe they o.d. On chocolate. Sorry not sorry.
  • Shreshy
    Shreshy Posts: 1,263 Member
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    Should this to my next man
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I like to think that I'm intelligent enough to not let a bodily function turn me into an azzhat
  • JudithNYC
    JudithNYC Posts: 80 Member
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    Some people have no sense of humor and are riding a mighty high horse.
  • tretoptreece
    tretoptreece Posts: 425 Member
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    Some people constantly have PMS and need chocolate thrown at them

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