getting past the psychological issues of weight loss

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vegasmellie
vegasmellie Posts: 118 Member
in Motivation and Support
It seems every time I get close to a mini goal, such as getting to the lower decade on the scale, I end up sabotaging myself. :ohwell:

I know I have issues about being thinner. does that sound stupid? who fears that? mostly, they have to do with attention. most people want it, I prefer to be anonymous. weight loss gets you noticed. however, I HATE feeling fat in my clothes.

add to this a new job where I'm traveling a lot. I can usually find places to work out, it's the eating that messes me up. I know for certain I have a food addiction.

I know it sounds like a bunch of excuses as to why I haven't lost weight. I really want to, but it's like something is stopping me. I wish I could put blinders on and JUST DO IT.

so if you're going through or have gone through the same thing, what helped you?

I don't know what's wrong with me and why I can't do this...:cry:

Replies

  • vegasmellie
    vegasmellie Posts: 118 Member
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    It seems every time I get close to a mini goal, such as getting to the lower decade on the scale, I end up sabotaging myself. :ohwell:

    I know I have issues about being thinner. does that sound stupid? who fears that? mostly, they have to do with attention. most people want it, I prefer to be anonymous. weight loss gets you noticed. however, I HATE feeling fat in my clothes.

    add to this a new job where I'm traveling a lot. I can usually find places to work out, it's the eating that messes me up. I know for certain I have a food addiction.

    I know it sounds like a bunch of excuses as to why I haven't lost weight. I really want to, but it's like something is stopping me. I wish I could put blinders on and JUST DO IT.

    so if you're going through or have gone through the same thing, what helped you?

    I don't know what's wrong with me and why I can't do this...:cry:
  • DjBliss05
    DjBliss05 Posts: 682
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    I hear you completely on this. You just wrote out exactly how I feel.

    I don't know that I have it all figured out, but this is what I have learned so far...

    I think therapy is a great tool on this journey. I like having someone to bounce things off of and keep my head straight about it. Not all people want to take that step, but it helps.

    Journals are also great for keeping your head in it and getting past the road blocks.

    Even when you think you might have figured out how to move forward, the old stuff will come back again to bite you. Use the support you have and keep going.

    I have been trying really hard to just stop thinking about it! I count my calories and try to exercise.... then I try to shut down about all of it. When I feel myself getting consumed, it might be time for a day off (which I tried last week and it did help).

    Theoretically, staying away from the scale would help, too. I don't do that b/c I am totally unable, lol. I think it would help keep me from wanting to lose my mind though.

    As I am losing, I am starting to realize that people don't see my weight loss hardly at all. I thought at this point, people around me would start noticing. In a way, it helped to know that the extra attention was all in my head.

    Take care of yourself! Find some things that you can be really proud about and build up that confidence. Just don't give up! This is for you and for your health. Hang in there! :flowerforyou:
  • pbjsand
    pbjsand Posts: 58
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    You have to tell yourself that you CAN do this. Only YOU can make the changes necessary to achieve your weight loss and goals. Dig deep, and pull yourself up by the bootstraps. it ain't easy, but I've learned nothing worth having or doing comes easy. I've been heavy my whole life and really didn't think I could do this either. My doctor challenged me and I wanted to prove to her that I couldn't lose weight with counting calories and working out. Well, I'm proof you can. If I can do it anyone can. I have to force myself to go to the gym every single night, except Thursday's cause I have choir practice. If I give in to my old ways and don't go, I feel so guilty. So, I go and I feel better once I've worked out. I have to watch everything and I mean everything I put in my mouth and I count it, every bit of it. It's been over a year and I'm on the right path, but it isn't easy. It's a struggle every day to make the right choices, but I'm doing it and I feel so much better because I'm doing it. I still have a long way to go and I'm in a slump right now, not losing, but not gaining either, but I am determined to keep eating right and keep exercising and have faith that eventually I'll start losing again. This is not a diet for me, it is a Lifestyle quest. Hang in there You CAN do this.
  • amunet07
    amunet07 Posts: 1,245 Member
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    I can't really tell you anything that helps... I haven't figured it out myself... but I can relate! and I wanted you to know you are not alone. Today I had an extra snack because work got too intense for me and I've been losing weight for me but the extra attention from my boyfriend makes me uncomfortable.
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I know just what you mean. Sometimes I think I am afraid of success! Try to take it one day at a time, and not focus on the end goal. If you don't want to be noticed, you can always dress in a way that doesn't emphasize it as much... eventually, you may want to show off a little more! :wink: But seriously... it is a tough question. I think a lot of us with weight problems have psychological 'weight' to go along with them, and shedding one doesn't automatically mean we shed the other. Be kind to yourself. Try and change your relationship with food. Plan ahead so that you are less likely to be tempted, and also try to think about why you are eating. Eat to fuel your body so it can do great things - not to soothe your emotions. If the unwanted attention makes you feel uncomfortable, that's fair. But you can only control what YOU do - not how others react to you. It's not just about getting to a certain goal weight... but learning how to deal with food and your body in a healthier way, for life! :flowerforyou:
  • jtodd28
    jtodd28 Posts: 2
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    Its so much harder when your eating for emotional reasons. I think that there is more than excercise and heathy eating to weight loss. If your struggling with these things, maybe its time to talk to someone that can help you work through it. Its one more hurdle but after that will come success!
  • Sunibc22
    Sunibc22 Posts: 330
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    I don't think anything we say can really get you past this part of your journey.
    I agree that talking with someone and journaling can be great tools.
    Dr. Phil's weight loss book talks about the self sabatoge and people who keep themselves fat to protect themselves. I think it helped me work out some issues and I definitely recommend reading it. I was the queen of excuses...and still have my moments....but I am now taking responsibility for my actions. You can't change them if you don't take responsibility for them. Any how .... just my 2 cents. :flowerforyou:
  • tag0829
    tag0829 Posts: 40 Member
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    Wow, I thought I was the only one that was afraid to lose weight and be thin. I also don't like attention focused on me and am hiding behind my fat. I have always used that as an excuse why I couldn't do anything - like going out, riding rides or just plain having fun. Never let anyone take pictures and boy does my dad and brother love taking pictures. I started this journey on August 31st with my friend. We started walking just to get us motivated but they have turned into therapy sessions, which has helped me realize that I deserve to be healthy. This time I have looked at the weight loss as not to get thin but to get healthy for myself. You can do this, just remember you deserve it and people really aren't focusing on you just glad that you are getting healthy. Good luck with your journey to be healthy in 2009!!!! :flowerforyou:

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