I feel so fat and ugly :(

IWillWinSkinny
IWillWinSkinny Posts: 46 Member
edited September 25 in Introduce Yourself
Hi there people!

Today is my first day in the forums. I'm new to this and really want to make friends for support!

My starting weight was 186lbs :( today I'm 183.4.

I'm desperate to lose at the very least 20lbs by summer.

I don't really have any mates who will help me. Well I dud have a mate (not a virtual one lol) who was dieting with me, until she got so competitive and turned into a right ***** about it all :( I had one set back and had something bad to eat and she basically said I'll never lose weight because I'm not as comitted as her and made herself out to be do perfect! :( then I lost my motivation and just thought I should settle for being fat forever :(

But I don't want to be! I want to prove her wrong! And above all I want to be a healthy weight and feel happy about myself. I could do with making some REAL friends

Sarah :) x

Replies

  • carrie_lebel
    carrie_lebel Posts: 135
    Welcome. This is the place for you. Join a group and be held accountable. You will get good support and great advice here. I will send you a friend request.
  • emiya
    emiya Posts: 8 Member
    I think your focus is the wrong place if you accepted being "fat and ugly" over a friends comment.

    Try to evaluate your values, and self worth.
    Once you get your self worth in check, and learn that you don't only WANT a fit body, but DESERVE IT.
    You deserve a fit and healthy body, you're entitled to it.

    You need to feel beautiful at 186 to feel beautiful at your goal weight.
    You wont get there with self loathing.

    Trust!

    Love yourself and you will treat your body better.
    Then, your body will treat you better.

    I wish you the best of luck! Because I've been there, and it's really a bad place. But it will get better.
  • kps1104
    kps1104 Posts: 58
    Hi!

    welcome! I hope you do great on your weight loss journey! We ALL have setbacks! No one is here to judge, we are all here for the same reason :) No need to be so hard on yourself, easier to say than do unfortunately. Good luck!

    feel free to add me on your friends list, we can help each other lose weight!
  • 1113cw
    1113cw Posts: 830 Member
    Welcome!
    This place is wonderful.. full of kind, supportive, motivating people that all have the same goals as you. It's helped me so much in staying on track. You're already making progress so that's great! Just take it one step at a time! 20lbs by summer is completely reasonable and healthy.. you CAN do it!

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like.. good luck!
  • Sallerina84
    Sallerina84 Posts: 138 Member
    Welcome :)

    You won't find anyone like that here, don't worry...we're all in the same boat!

    Good for you for getting your motivation back! x
  • fuzzymel
    fuzzymel Posts: 400 Member
    Please don't put yourself down.

    You look really pretty in your picture.

    If you stick to MFP you can lose the weight. Don't get discouraged by bad days. Those of us who have been around a while have had plenty of them trust me.

    Welcome and I hope you can change your life.
  • ultimategar
    ultimategar Posts: 96 Member
    Hey welcome.
    Ignore the friend, weightloss is about making sustainable changes to your lifestyle, not going on a strict-short term diet.
    Feel free to add me as a friend.
  • NyxDominique
    NyxDominique Posts: 271 Member
    Welcome! Good Luck!

    Please don't let her get you down. We each have our reasons and ways to do things. Your goals do not have to be her goals. It is important to realize why you are doing this and how you want to go about doing it.
  • bunnysone
    bunnysone Posts: 486 Member
    when I read that you felt fat and ugly I expected to see a very large, possibly older woman staring back at me.

    How can you say you are fat and ugly - you have a beautiful face and obviously a lot of potential here with the motivational support available!

    Stick with us - we will guide you and help on your way - i call on my MFP friends here now just as much as my "regular" friends - and many of my MFP friends call on their MFP friends MORE than their "regular" friends!

    The future is bright for you!

    Dianne
  • IWillWinSkinny
    IWillWinSkinny Posts: 46 Member
    Ah thank you very much. I've separated myself from her now because I found that I was trying to lose weight for the wrong reasons. I know if I carry on being around her she will carry on making me feel low about myself. She's very clever in how she dies it, only using subtle hints etc

    Now that I won't be seeing her much anymore I can concentrate on myself and try to value myself more, rather than feeling like "the failure" next to "miss perfect".

    Sarah
  • savvynurse
    savvynurse Posts: 292
    Welcome!! And don't worry what others think!!! Just remember the weight didn't creep on overnight and its not going to go away over night. I think that's where a lot of people fail... thinking that its going to happen over night. Add me if you want I am currently down 29 lbs since I first started my weight loss journey and it has been a journey of ups and downs... but within 4 months with 30 lbs gone I can say I am healthier and happier than I have been in a while... Now I need to buy some new clothes lol.
  • millymoozie
    millymoozie Posts: 150
    your by no means ugly !!! i started my goal for the wrong reasons & am still coming to terms with some issues ,but hey all i can say is its hard going to get going & even harder if your doing for the wrong reasons ,try & think why you want this ,for your friend or for you ,i think youll find eventually it is for you !!
    good luck & wishing you all the best xx
  • Jit7
    Jit7 Posts: 75
    Welcome! Your friend isn't a friend at all if she was like that with you. Its great that you've joined this site as there are loads of people that will inspire you to reach your goal on here.

    I'm pretty new to this site too so feel free to add me

    Good luck x
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
    Welcome to MFP.

    You will get loads of support here - during your good days and your bad days!

    Some start up advice

    - Log everything, good and bad - and open your diary to everyone (its in your settings).

    - The first few weeks is always the hardest: your body is getting used to eating less and you will not yet have a fridge full of things which are healthy & fun... watch the cooking forums - some amazing low fat meals & snacks in there.

    - Get a tape measure - you will often loose inches whilst your weight stays the same - especially if you start exercising: Muscle is much denser than fat.

    - A lot of people have weeks where their weight stays the same, even though they are doing everything right. For me this happened in weeks 3 & 4. Part of this is that in the first couple of weeks you may loose a lot - and some of this is water retention: healthy food contains a lot less salt! when your body finish this major adjustment the rate of change decreases. This combined with the muscle comment above means you stay the same: Don't worry about it!!! you will start loosing again soon.

    - Post your 'New Small Victories' (NSV) - we love them.

    - Personally I have a motto 'Happy & healthy' - make sure you enjoy the process rather than making it a chore: Example - I love chocolate so instead of making this a 'No-Go' I give myself a chocolate allowance: double win - I feel good because I only eat a sensible amount AND I get to enjoy the chocolate.

    Best of luck - feel free to friend me.

    Mike
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
    Your friend sounds like a right *****.
    She was proberlly just jealouse that u weren't eating as healthy but u where still looseing some weight.
    Even if it was very slowly.
    I dont have anyone who i can diet with iver,
    infact my fionce is trying to get his weight from unhealthy to a healthy weight,
    so theres always junk food and chocolate everywhere!
    It makes it really difficult to stick to my diet.
    But at the end of the day ur doing this for u and no one else.
    And if she doesnt like how u diet, stuff her!
    So what if you want to treat ur self every so often, thats just human.
    I dont no what else to say lol, but i'd of told her where to shove it..
  • JoshandChris
    JoshandChris Posts: 22 Member
    183 POUNDS?!! COR BLIMEY YOU ARE A FAT COW!
  • cherrieruns
    cherrieruns Posts: 342 Member
    welcome. You've already gotten some great feedback from others here so I won't say much but you really should try to reframe how you see yourself. You (and us ) are a work in progress. No one is perfect. I think one thing that helped me was to change my focus from "I have to lose XX pounds or I am a failure" to "I want to be healthy and strong". I have now run a 1/2 marathon, can lift heavy weights, work out hard and I feel great about that. Do I need to lose more weight - sure - and I will but I am really happy with my physical abilities now!!!!!
  • Natalie0506
    Natalie0506 Posts: 163
    Welcome Sarah!! I too have found renewed motivation, and it's for the RIGHT reasons this time. You'll do well here!!!
  • Brewz
    Brewz Posts: 10 Member
    Hi there...welcome to MFP :)

    I can't say any more than everyone else has said.....what i would say is that you are now surrounding yourself with the right people and you do it for YOU! Not to prove a point to anyone.

    By the sounds of it, you could be world class and your friend could have something to pick holes in, so do it for you.

    Looking forward to following your progress.

    Calv.
  • TwiFan5
    TwiFan5 Posts: 419 Member
    Welcome, don't worry about been judged like that on here, My fitness pal is full of awesome people and we are all united because we all have the goal, you can add me as a friend and I had a friend just like yours and she ended up losing a fair bit of weight but she went about it the wrong way and I don't see her much any more because she puts her boy friends first and is a real cow to me so I have decided that I don't need her in my life, well I wont after she pays me my money back. :)
  • vanfox23
    vanfox23 Posts: 110

    Now that I won't be seeing her much anymore I can concentrate on myself and try to value myself more, rather than feeling like "the failure" next to "miss perfect".

    This is another thing that I believe we can all relate to. I have one friend who, every time she leaves the house has to be perfect. Her kids are always dressed perfect yada yada yada. Even though I have lost 22 lbs, I still feel like a fatty around her. So welcome to MFP and I hope that you find the support that you need here. It has been a great addition to my lifestyle change!
  • IWillWinSkinny
    IWillWinSkinny Posts: 46 Member
    Thank you for all your tips and advice (with the exception of one :(). I'm really proud to have made the first steps.

    I know I have a lot of issues to deal with, not just weight but my appearance in general. This is the first day in a long time where someone has not put me down, and it feels nice.

    I now know I'm definitely in the right place at the right time :)
  • Annerea
    Annerea Posts: 104
    Hi Sarah and welcome to MFP.

    Your friend sounds like a $%^&*. Ditch her and make some new, supportive friends on MFP!!

    The support really is great and everyone will rejoice in your victories and be sympathetic if you're having a bad one.

    Add me as a friend if you want. And you look beautiful in your profile pic!!

    Anne
  • merzback
    merzback Posts: 453 Member
    Sarah- I think you need new friends! That "mate" who judged you had no right to do so at all. We aren't looking for perfection, just slow and steady- talk to yourself as YOU would a friend, and you would never tell a friend they were fat and ugly! Good luck on your healthy journey!
  • samantharae121205
    samantharae121205 Posts: 185
    oh honey. you are beautiful :):) ill be your bff. lol.
  • Annerea
    Annerea Posts: 104
    - Post your 'New Small Victories' (NSV) - we love them.

    I thought NSV = Non Scale Victories???
  • samantharae121205
    samantharae121205 Posts: 185
    - Post your 'New Small Victories' (NSV) - we love them.

    I thought NSV = Non Scale Victories???

    yeaa me 2?. lol
  • WVJERSEYGIRL
    WVJERSEYGIRL Posts: 5 Member
    Hi Sarah....

    Sorry you're feeling bad.....wanted to say good luck on your weight loss journey....I'm new to MFP also and find the people on the boards are friendly and helpful...

    Nobody can make you feel bad unless you let them...everybody has set backs...
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