Single forever?!

kah02a
kah02a Posts: 9 Member
edited September 25 in Motivation and Support
I'm the " girl with a pretty face " who weighs 285 now. I've never had a real boyfriend. I'm losing weight, and am on the right track--for me, not to get a guy. But it just feels like I'll be single forever. Truth be told, I wish I could meet someone who liked me for who I am NOW, at this weight, so that I can know that no matter how much weight I lose, they won't only be with me for my body. Is that stupid to think that??

Is there even a non-creep good guy out there who would look at the heart of a woman and love her for who she is? I know there are weirdo fetish people out there who get off on liking big women--umm NOT what I'm talking about here. Loves Jesus, Loves me. That's all I'm wishing for.

Does anyone else feel this way?

How the heck to big people date?!?!?!

Replies

  • GGut
    GGut Posts: 94 Member
    theres someone out there for every one. im a big dude and my girlfriend is a tiny little thing. we just clicked. you will find someone worthy of your time. just keep on keepin on
  • marielenrdz
    marielenrdz Posts: 52 Member
    There are definetely men out there who just find that something special or spark about a woman that has nothing to do with her size. I took my sis in law for a ladies night drink. She weighs over 240lbs and about 5'2". Had her hair done up all pretty, make up and jewelry and nice clothes. The cutest dude in the club (and fit as heck!) zoned in on her and spent the whole evening chatting it up with her. I was so happy for her!! seriously, this dude was HOT! I'm married, but couldn't help but be disappointed that he didn't at least try to hit on me!! LOL He was all about my sis in law! Awesome and true story! Just happened last night!
  • NyxDominique
    NyxDominique Posts: 271 Member
    You may dwell on the fact that it is your weight preventing you from catching someone.
    1) Weight loss really needs to be for you that way you will keep it off when you do find someone special. You don't want to start dating someone and stop going to the gym or watching what you eat because they don't have to. It is a lifestyle change not just a temporary adjustment to find someone.
    2) If you are beautiful on the inside what does it matter on the outside. It alot about self-confidence. If you think your weight is stopping you from talking to that cute boy in your english class. Then it is! Becuase you are letting it be. Stop worrying so much, and be happy with yourself first. Self-confidence always makes people flock to you both men and woman.
    3) Another important factor is where are you going to meet people? Are they the type of people you want to meet? Don't hang out a bar if you are looking for someone to marry. Take up a cooking class at a college. Take up a dance class (they normally push you with a male partner) Just need to find people with similar interests
    Just please remember. You are beautiful... we are all beautiful in our own ways.
  • mdyoung6309
    mdyoung6309 Posts: 26
    I have felt the same way. Especially about the part of finding someone that likes me for me... It is hard, but I doubt you will be single for ever... truth be told, men and women think very differently. Most (not all) men our age are controlled mostly by their hormones, (they rely of visual as we rely on emotional) and in todays society 'sexy' is thin tall and beautiful, so the typical male reacts to that 'norm' after we lose weight guys are more attracted to us because their 'friend' reacts to us. Don't worry though, there are guys that once fall in love with someone they will never change their opinion and weather Fat or Skinny they will still love us for us in the end. According to what I believe, marriage is forever, so enjoy single life because hopefully you will only be single once. This is the time to take on new adventures and learn new things that you might not have the funds or time for in a serious relationship. Hopes this helps and you have a great day!!!
  • slyder432
    slyder432 Posts: 475 Member
    BUMP!!!
  • LiL_MisS_C
    LiL_MisS_C Posts: 332 Member
    Of course not. Once you exude the confidence naturally and start to believe you deserve a great guy is when the boys will be banging down your door! ;) I believe weightloss is a great stepping stone towards true confidence. :)
  • monkeybuttsmommy
    monkeybuttsmommy Posts: 343 Member
    Been there, done that, felt that way. For me it got to the point where I just stopped worrying about it. As soon as I put myself first with my education and being a good friend to my friends love found me. It also brought me my first child who was born 11 months ago. I had "dated" prior but it was usually guys with issues or fetishes but didn't know it until well into the relationship. Had to cut them loose. You man is out there, and he will be a man, not a boy. He will love you for you. And you will recognize it for what it really is. It is a beautiful thing. I am glad I didn't give up completely but just quit trying so hard. Good luck to you!
  • Lexie28
    Lexie28 Posts: 219
    I have the same problem. I was married...was!!! And the reason why I got married was because I thought this was the only guy that could love me. Big mistake...I never did love him in return and ended up getting a divorce. I am of the same mind set as you...if I lose weight maybe someone will really love me. I have never ever had men hit on me....and wonder what that would feel like. I read somewhere on this website that men treat you different when you're a size 2.....well I have a ways to go before I make it to a size 2...but I would like to test the theory.

    I am also of the opinion that a lot of other people have here...that there's someone for everyone. Don't be disheartened...you will find someone...but I wonder sometimes how much having extra weight on really has on meeting someone. Like I said, I'm in the same boat as you....but stay positive...I truly believe that good things come to those who wait :flowerforyou:
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    hang in there i married my wife when she was 400+ lbs there's a few of us that like to wrestle and not be sure we will always win ;)
  • carllama
    carllama Posts: 1
    You are probably finding it difficult to find that special someone, not because of your size, but because you subconsciously feel you're not good enough for someone. I know I've been there! I don't even know you, but I know you are a bombastic, amazing, magical human being that will make someone immensely happy. As soon as you love yourself, love with come to you before you know it! If you know you deserve someone amazing, (and not just any someone, an AMAZING someone) but know that you don't NEED that someone to be truly happy, you will exude respect for yourself, and men will realise how easy you are to love, because you love yourself. :)

    :D It's all about the positive confident thinking. Someone amazing is going to find you.
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