PLEASE can someone help me. I am losing the will ...... :-(

charlottehaworth
charlottehaworth Posts: 4 Member
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi,

I am a 32 year old 5 feet 3 inches woman who is on the verge of packing it all in.

I started a couple of months back on here and took on a Personal Trainer (who is ACE). I want to lose weight and get fitter - these being the main goals. I weighed 12 stone 11 on my wedding day last September and since then I have gained nearly a stone. I know 12 stone 11 isn't an ideal weight but I felt good and better about myself.

Since coming back from our Christmas honeymoon were i put some weight on, I have been battling to get the weight off.

I started running again and working once a week with my PT. I joined MFP etc.

Over the last couple of months I have shifted NOTHING. These are the things I have tried and things that have happened:

1. Start cals were 1500 and was hungry so upped them to 1900 but don't include any cals gained from exercise. This was also done as 1500 cals weren't working and my PT thouight I may need more cals for the exercise I am doing.
2. Decreased cals from 1900 to 1700 as nothing was happening
3. Increase exercise - I run between 2-3 times a week, cycle to work on occasions and see PT for intense session once a week. I run between 7-10km when I do go running. 10km takes me about 1 hour 6 mins at the mo.
4. Lowered carb intake and increased protein intake (just this week so far)
5. Weight seems to go between 13 stone 5 and 13 stone 10 (this morning) but nothing stays off and there are NO consistent drops in weight
6. One day I can weigh one thing and the next have put 3 or 4 pounds on
7. I am teacher. I am knackered. I am fed up. I want to be slim. I have even stopped drinking booze.

It is UTTERLY depressing - I do not know what to do. I can't get anything right and no weight seems to come off - it just comes off and goes on and comes off and goes on. I float between two weights all the time.

I am so desperate - please help.

:-(

Replies

  • Wightvixen
    Wightvixen Posts: 117
    I'm not a personal trainer, or a nutritionist, so take nothing I say as gospel. However...it seems to me that for your height and the amount of exercise you are doing 1700 calories a day is more of a maintenance amount than a weight-loss amount.

    What does MFP suggest as a daily calorie intake to lose 1lb a week? 1500? If I was in your position I would go back to that, maybe even a little less. At just one inch shorter than you I was on 1200 a day when I was still losing, so even 1500 could be a little excessive.

    If you find yourself constantly hungry try to have 5 or 6 small meals or snacks a day instead of just 3 meals, so you don't have to go too long between eating - that's what kept me sane on 1200 calories.

    And good luck, I hope you manage to crack it soon!
  • catcrazy
    catcrazy Posts: 1,740 Member
    I agree with Wightvixen , those calories look more like maintenance calories to me. Input your details in mfp and see what calories they give you. Unless you are a PE teacher choose lightly active,as you will be entering your exercise separately, i'd also think about investing in a HRM to get a more accurate calorie burn.

    If you don't have food scales get some, very easy to underestimate calories and double check any entries you see on here...if you don't have the nutritional label in your hand double/triple check on google! Also add EVERYTHING, that sweet, those few mouthfuls that you managed to snaffle before the bell went etc. Fruit and veg count as do your drinks...yes you probably do know this but there have been the odd few that thought they didn't.
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
    Don't quit you CAN do this !

    i'm 5' 4 i'm set to lose 1/2 week i eat back my exersie calorie and its comming off slowly which is great!

    Are you eating to much?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/10589-for-those-confused-or-questioning-eating-your-exercise-calo

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/61706-guide-to-calorie-deficit


    This is just a part of it! please read the link above


    Generally someone with a BMI over 32 can do a 1000 calorie a day (2 lbs a week) deficit
    With a BMI of 30 to 32 a deficit of 750 calories is generally correct (about 1.5 lbs a week)
    With a BMI of 28 to 30 a deficit of 500 calories is about right (about 1 lb a week)
    With a BMI of 26 to 28 a deficit of about 300 calories is perfect (about 1/2 lb a week)
    and below 26... well this is where we get fuzzy. See now you're no longer talking about being overweight, so while it's still ok to have a small deficit, you really should shift your focus more towards muscle tone, and reducing fat. This means is EXTRA important to eat your exercise calories as your body needs to KNOW it's ok to burn fat stores, and the only way it will know is if you keep giving it the calories it needs to not enter the famine response (starvation mode)


    Also this might be helpful http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/00trayn/view/how-to-bust-a-3-month-plateau-87677



    Good luck on your journey
    Edited by morganadk2 on Thu 04/07/11 03:09 PM
  • TeenaMarina
    TeenaMarina Posts: 420 Member
    Hate to state the obvious but I've been told on here over and over that you're supposed to eat back your exercise calories. Because if you don't your body goes into "starvation mode" and stores everything. My goal is 1200 calories, so if I exercise and burn 250 calories then I need to eat 1450 that day. It's taken me a while to get my head around this but there are enough people on here saying they were stuck in a rut before they figured this out, that I'm convinced. Do a search on the message boards of "net calories". Good luck, and hang in there. It will happen. x
  • Vicky14174
    Vicky14174 Posts: 715 Member
    you need to open your diary so we can see everything. we can't help you much if we are blind. your diary is our eyes to seeing what you may be doing that is causing the problem.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Hmmm, opinions differ on exercise calories!

    I'd keep focussing on lowering your carbs, which you've just started doing this week. That was my first "step" - halving the amount I normally ate. So you dont feel you're cutting them out completely, but it's quite easy to have one piece of toast instead of 2, one small spoonful of rice instead of a whole plateful, half a bun with the burger. Try that for a few weeks and see if it makes a difference.

    And please hang on in there - it's a long journey, we all know how frustrating it can be at times, but you will get there!
  • Lovesparklesandcupcakes
    Lovesparklesandcupcakes Posts: 50 Member
    Sorry to say it, but I think your calories per day are too high. I am also 5'3" and my daily calorie intake is 1200, but I do eat back my exercise calories when I have them. My calorie intake was calculated via MFP and I am slowly but surely loosing the weight. Try lower your calorie intake.
  • charlottehaworth
    charlottehaworth Posts: 4 Member
    Hi all,
    Thanks for all your help, advice and concern. I still feel a bit fuzzy about it all......

    I think the general consensus is to decrease cals.

    If I run 10km, I reckon I burn about 700-800 cals. Should I eat back some of these?

    I will stick with the lower carbs too though it makes me feel a bit weird.

    Getting there.....
    :-/
  • charlottehaworth
    charlottehaworth Posts: 4 Member
    Also... I like a drink and the summer months are coming - how can I manage this?
    ARGH!

    :-s
  • Wightvixen
    Wightvixen Posts: 117
    If I run 10km, I reckon I burn about 700-800 cals. Should I eat back some of these?

    I think you may be overestimating here, especially if you are an experienced runner. I should say no more than 400-500 calories for 10k, but the best way to be sure is to invest in an HRM.
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
    when you say low carbs,how low ? i have been changing my ratio's around and for me its 40/30/30 and it sems to be working (carbs/protien/fat) if low carbs is making you feel weird, change it!


    read these and don't be afraid to ask for help!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/10665-newbies-please-read-me-2nd-edition
  • MarcelaBella
    MarcelaBella Posts: 11
    I wasn't losing anything for the longest time. Since Jan. 1st, I've been slowing shedding the pounds...thank goodness!

    I keep calories between 1200 and 1500 a day, and occasionally go over up to 1850, but only if I exercise and burn off some of those extra calories. It is important to stay active, but to also get around 1400 calories a day.

    Drink plenty of water--more than 8 glasses a day. I'm losing 1 to 2 lbs. a week (healthiest way to lose it, but it sure is a slow process,) and for the first time in a long time am feeling happy with myself and the progress I've made.

    Also, I find it helpful to eat healthy, raw foods. My naturopath helped me discover food allergies and sensitivities, so I've also cut out soy, gluten and am a vegetarian for the first time in my life. Eating soy makes me swell up and easily gain 3 or 4 lbs. overnight. Do you have food allergies or sensitivities?

    Keep up the great job of working on you, and you'll be so happy that you did. Best to you on your journey ~ Remember you are worth the effort! It gets easier. This is coming from the fat girl who gained 50 lbs. in about a year, and is desperately trying to get back down to a non-fat size... Hang in there! Oh, and it's definitely O.K. to ask for support when you need it. :)
  • MarcelaBella
    MarcelaBella Posts: 11
    Another helpful tip is to keep meals to around 400 calories each, and always eat a fat/carb/protein each meal to help your body burn the calories better. Best!
  • ybba12490
    ybba12490 Posts: 252
    hmm, I eat SOME of my exercise calories back but not all. My doctor told me that eating them back is somewhat beneficial but it differs for everyone. I usually can't eat them all because I've already had breakfast, lunch and snacks so I don't want to eat if I'm not hungry. Maybe play around with your goals a little? Are you set to lose 1/2 or 2 lbs per week? drink lots of water also!
  • dylanco
    dylanco Posts: 15 Member
    At 5'11 my daily calories for losing one pound a week are 1790. At 5'3 my mother's is 1000. I expect your calorie goal should be closer to my mothers than mine, since you're her height.

    Decide on a weekly weight loss goal at mfp and adhere maniacally to the suggested calorie intake. Be consistent.

    Drink more water.

    Get more sleep. At least 7 hours a day.

    No fruit juice or other drinks sweetened with sugar, HFCS, or any other sweetener with more than 1 calorie per serving. Use lemon or lime for flavor if you get sick of water or unsweetened tea, etc.

    Eat no white carbs or fruit or alcohol or other empty calories within 6 hours of bedtime.

    Follow ALL recommendations of mfp and your nutritionist.

    Count all calories consumed, including alcohol, fruit juices, sugared drinks, added sugar or sweetener, and condiments.

    Account for calories burned during exercise, and eat more to compensate. Again follow mfp's recommendations.

    Buy a food scale and weigh or measure everything before you eat it so you know exactly how much and your calorie counts are accurate.

    Be rigorously honest.

    Exercise more days per week. 2 to 3 times a week is a minimum. If time is an issue just do 1/2 hour. The 1/2 hour is actual time at heart rate, not time tying shoes or stretching afterwards. Your 10k time is good!

    Expect your daily weight to vary by as much as 3-5 pounds due to variations in water retention, waste elimination, and recent meals.

    Weigh yourself at the same time every day. I recommend weigh-in upon waking before breakfast, which tends to be a low point of the day before you've eaten meals or had anything to drink. This can be a good psychic boost because you'll see lows or near-lows consistently if you're eating right. Regardless, don't expect to see a new low every day.

    You can do it!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    Also... I like a drink and the summer months are coming - how can I manage this?
    ARGH!

    :-s
    If you deprive yourself of everything you love you'll never stick with it. Drink modest amounts on no more than a couple of days a week and not only record any drinks but plan them - if you think you'll have three glasses of Chardonnay in the evening, say, put them in at breakfast.
  • charlottehaworth
    charlottehaworth Posts: 4 Member
    Wow people - all your advice is good (if a lot to take in!)

    This is my plan of action:

    1. Keep going!
    2. Increase water intake (I drink about 2-3litres a day at the mo)
    3. Decrease cals to 1500
    4. Carbs set at 118g, protein at 177g and fat at 44g - May change this.
    5. Exercise as much as poss (this is often dictated by my job and how tired I am)


    I will try!

    :-)
  • cherrieruns
    cherrieruns Posts: 342 Member
    no new advice other than to stick at it. Eventually you will find your fit and the weight will come off.
  • blobby10
    blobby10 Posts: 357 Member
    Charlotte, I'm in the same boat as you - not losing despite increasing my exercise! How much effort do you put into your runs? For example I run a 10 minute mile, my sister runs at 14 minute mile. She can talk all the way round, I can't talk after the first half mile! You could try varying the pace of your runs for example, pick a tree or lamppost and sprint as fast as you can to the next one then go back to your normal pace. Do this half a dozen times in a 30 minute run (or your PT should be able to suggest more structured routines!). Try doing shorter bursts of exercise with more intensity occasionally which may shock your body into burning the fat!

    Listen to me - giving advice as though I know what I'm talking about!! But these are things people have suggested to me although I haven't had chance to try them out yet due to injury and illness

    B x
  • mom22nteaching
    mom22nteaching Posts: 32 Member
    I too am a teacher who has not been losing weight.

    I am striving to find a balance so that I am not wiped out at work.
    Yesterday I ate a sensible breakfast, brought my lunch and then found
    myself at the bake sale STARVING. I bought a bagel with the intention of
    eating half. (BTW I live in NY so the bagels are HUGE). Half way into the
    bagel I found myself needing the other half.

    Carbs, stress and teaching all are related. I have found that a drink at night
    hinders my ability to lose weight and to have energy for teaching and working
    out the next day. A good nights sleep is slowly becoming my best friend for health.

    I would love to work with you to figure out what is holding you back. I know what I
    do wrong and I am trying to figure out how to change.

    Hang in there with me!:wink::wink:
  • kpbearden
    kpbearden Posts: 3
    NO MATTER WHAT....DONT QUIT YOU CAN WIN THIS BATTLE.........WATER, WATER,WATER. REDUCE CARBS, WATCH YOUR CALORIE INTAKE......I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU......ANOTHER THING THAT MAY BE HELPFUL IS TO WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN IN YOUR FOOD DIARY....I AM SPEAKING TO ME AS WELL.......YOU MAY ALSO WANT TO TRY HAVING YOUR LAST MEAL OF THE DAY NO LATER THAN 7PM. HANG IN THERE.....YOU CAN DO THIS!
  • tracywba
    tracywba Posts: 21
    I try not to eat after my dinner in the evening, as I find that if I snack at night I seem to always be hungry. My other enemy is bread. If I eat more than 2 slices of this a day I end up bloated, so I limit myself to just the 2 slices and if I can go without I will. Maybe try and eat more veggies, you can always pad out a meal with veggies, as most of them (not all) are low in calories. Also I think the tip about eating 6 small meals a day is a good one. I make sure and have a healthy snack mid morning and one mid afternoon, so I am not trying to go 5 hours in a morning between my breakfast and lunch and again between my lunch and dinner. Last of all keep going....you can do this and you will do this
  • zoereese
    zoereese Posts: 5 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/173853-an-objective-look-at-eating-exercise-calories Take a look at this topic. I know it's a long topic but people discuss different ideas, and the original poster seems to be a trainer. Maybe this will help to explain some things. I wasn't sure if this would come up as a link so I just copied the address for you to copy into your browser. I am not an expert but it made sense to me. At 5' 2", I am only allowed 1200 calories per day and eat several small meals or "snacks" throughout the day. We know you can figure this out. Good Luck on your journey.
  • LG61820
    LG61820 Posts: 372 Member
    As a longtime veteran of the diet wars I think I have finally learned a few things. One thing I've learned is that it is mostly mental-if you think you can do it you will. The other thing is that I will never lose weight as quickly as I want to or think I should. Another thing is that impatience is my biggest enemy=getting discouraged if I'm not losing weight every week.

    I have been stuck for weeks at a time at the same weight, but slowly it's coming off. One thing I started doing is monitoring my sodium intake. You can edit your diary to monitor this for you. I try to keep it under 1500 per day. I have had some success with this.

    I only weigh once a week-daily fluctuations are discouraging. I tell myself before getting on the scale that I'm in this for the long haul and that I will not get discouraged at what the scale says. So far, I'm hanging in there. I've lost +/- 20 pounds since the beginning of January. It seems very slow to me, but coworkers have started to comment that I'm losing weight so quickly!

    You can do this if you really want to.
  • curleesam
    curleesam Posts: 462 Member
    WOW I also think your calories are too high. Let MFP calculate them for you automatically. I am 5ft 9" and MFP tells me to eat 1500 calories to lose 1lb a week. I was on 1200 calories to lose 2lbs per week.

    Exercise calories debate will never ever go away. I eat half of them back just to be on the safe side so maybe try that. I am a firm believer of different things work for different people though.

    Also, make sure you are eating sensibly. Sounds stupid but sticking to 1200 calories is all well and good but if they all come from pre packaged, sugary foods you are going nowhere.

    Good luck! Dont give up! Think of how amazing you will feel when you do it!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories