Deprivation....not for me!

Debbisue52
Debbisue52 Posts: 87 Member
edited September 25 in Health and Weight Loss
Today a fellow member at my weekly weight loss group, and previous leader, gave a short presentation about "Imagine, Believe, and Achieve." It was a great presentation until she got to the end when she stated that,,,,while we are on our weight loss journey, we should NOT eat anything like cake or cookies, ice cream, pop, etc. She said that we should NEVER have those things until we have reached our weight loss goal and then we can slowly incorporate them back into our diet. Seriously? I am sorry but...I do not believe in that at all! That would make this just another "diet" to me and I would eventually feel deprived and want to just give up. This is a "Lifestyle change" for me. That means learning to live in a style I can actually live with....for the rest of my life...which to me means....yes, I can have those "goodies" if I want, once in a while....in MODERATION". If I only had 10 or 20 lbs to lose then I suppose I could live without the "goodies" long enough for that. But....my journey is going to take at least another 10-12 months....I can't imagine never having anything sweet, or salty and crunchy, or my Margaritas or beer, or french fries, or nachos, in that time...or for the rest of my life! I know quite a few others in the group agreed with me because we were all looking at each other like "Yeah...right...ok." Lol! If that's what she believes and it works for her then great. But....it won't work for me. I won't deprive myself...I will learn moderation and live my life the healthiest way I know how and still enjoy a few good things! Hello...it's called "reality"! I don't think we should live on junky, crappy foods, but I don't believe we have to completely cut them out. It's all about learning moderation. I don't want to be "on a diet"....and I think she actually used the word "diet" too. Being on a "diet" means that, eventually, you will go off the diet. It's about lifestyle and learning balance for the rest of your life. But, that's just my opinion.
Now, if I could learn to incorporate some of the "goodies" into my daily life....instead of using one day as a "cheat day" to try to get them all in...I'll actually be living a lifestyle I can live with....lol. Because the way it is right now I guess I am "on a diet" all week and then "off my diet" on the day I weigh in! But, then again....maybe my lifestyle revolves around eating sensibly most of the time to lose or maintain a weight loss....and then over indulging on weekends or special occasions....and then getting back on the healthy eating train. I think it is different for everyone and we all need to find what fits us.
It's just weird to hear someone say that we need to deprive ourselves when, during my over 25 years of being a member of another nationally known weight loss group we constantly heard "You can eat anything you want!"
Sorry...just thinking out loud here. LOL

Replies

  • eates
    eates Posts: 334 Member
    Yeah....I'm not into deprivation either. As soon as someone tells me I CAN'T have something I start thinking about nothing but that. I'm in this for the long haul so it has to be done within my terms!
  • Debbisue52
    Debbisue52 Posts: 87 Member
    PS....I LOVE MFP! Being able to actually see what I am eating, in terms of calories and nutrition, in front of me...is a real wake up call and helps keep me on track! (Knock on wood here), I have gone 6 weeks now without a gain...for me that is a record! Thank you MFP!
  • Mairgheal
    Mairgheal Posts: 385 Member
    I fully agree with you. Treats are part of any diet, even a skinny person's diet.

    The only thing I would say is, that if you find it hard to control yourself (and I do find this hard) once you eat one sweet/biscuit, it might be better to go cold turkey and cut everything out. It will be hard at first, but the cravings will be a lot less eventually. The longer I eat healthy, the easier I find it to stick to it.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Amen sistah! That' is the difference for me this time around and so far it's working! There are some things I don't keep in my cupboards (only eat them when I can buy one reasonalbe portion - like one ice cream cone instead of a whole half gallon) because I know I don't have great control but there are plenty of things that I can keep having in moderation and still lose weight.

    I've tried the "avoid all of these things until you lose the weight" thing and guess what? That's why I gained all the weight back!
  • berniemay
    berniemay Posts: 78 Member
    Yeah....I'm not into deprivation either. As soon as someone tells me I CAN'T have something I start thinking about nothing but that. I'm in this for the long haul so it has to be done within my terms!


    I agree with you on this. I think this is the first time in my life that I have attempted to lose weight the correct way. I don't deny myself anything - everything in moderation and portion control is what has worked for me.
  • jojoworks
    jojoworks Posts: 315 Member
    well.....I don't keep any of those "no-no" foods in my house so they're not in my regular food rotation anyway. I've chosen to lose weight by changing my lifestyle to incorporate healthy foods. My reasoning is this: if I am limiting the number of calories I consume in a day shouldn't those few calories be as dense in nutrients as possible? This means that I have very little room if any in those limited calories to allow for the "no-no" category. I don't feel deprived at all. I feel like I'm making healthy choices to support my efforts and that if I live the rest of my life this way I'll be fine with it.

    I do allow for wine and beer and a few "no-no's" on the weekend. I also will eat whatever is being offered to me when I eat at a friend's house or at family gatherings. But my day-in and day-out choices do not include "no-no's".

    good luck and happy eating!!!
    JoJo
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
    Im a bit on the fence on this one myself . . . I don't have "cheat" days . . . that just feels like WAY to much of a "diet" to me. I have slowly completely changed how I view food, how we shop, prepare, and eat even.
    When we go out I make the choice between either a light beet, or the french fries . . . NEVER both. I have actually only had fries once in the last year because I will typically always go for the light beer myself.
    I also don't deprive myself, but I won't go out and consume a craving when I have it . . . I will actually try to wait it out for at least 5 to 7 days. If Im still craving it I will have a very small portion, or sometimes even just one bite.

    For me, allowing a weekly "cheat" is not a healthy way to view food. Food is ONLY for nourishing our bodies to perform at their best, not to enhance or add more enjoyment to your life. My husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last fall and stayed at home and made chicken breasts with steamed broccoli for dinner as usual that night. The day was about celebrating our love and commitment to each other, not how many calories we could consume in a big meal. Occassions are about the celebration now, not about the food.

    Once you take the "power" away from food and only view it as fuel for your body a lot of the old "treats" now seem so useless.
  • givprayz
    givprayz Posts: 328
    I have never understood the "all or nothing" philosophy. I have something "unhealthy" every day, sometimes twice (occassionally 3 or 4 times!) I try to keep it small, I log it, and for the most part, I eat really well otherwise. I have given up pop, mostly because I wanted to see if I could, but I can't imagine giving up chocolate, and never will.

    Moderation, control, a focus on healthy living: those are the things this is about for me. I love chocolate, but I never need 3 brownies in an evening! That's the life I am willing to live from here on. I also won't give up Splenda and Stevia, though I'd be happy to give up aspartame if it weren't in so daggone many things! I don't use enough of them to cause a problem, and I believe they are basically safe for the majority of people anyway. I don't think eating healthy means never tasting sweets.

    I think it is wonderful that some people can give up all sweets, and get past the cravings. I can't. I've tried, and the failures tend to be monumental, so better in this case to control than to conquer. Everyone is different and no one "diet" is right for everyone. If you are healthy, getting the nutrients you need, and comfortable with your eating plan, then I'm not going to criticize your choices. I expect the same from others.
  • seers
    seers Posts: 7 Member
    It is definitely a life time battle when it comes to the snacks that you love. I'm not kidding myself. If there is a bag of chips in front of me. I may start out measuring a certain amount...but by the end of the day I have eaten the whole bag. I have no moderation for chips and popcorn. I am not really sure how to adjust that part of my life. Not fair to never buy chips again since it does affect the rest of the family. Now I can have as many cookies, ice cream and chocolate in the house and I won't care. I guess that is a saving grace that my cravings are a bit limited.

    I have been following MFP for 45 days so far and have had two binges of chips/popcorn. I guess my goal is to only break down every 3 weeks. But boy, I can't wait for April 29th!!!!
  • Debbisue52
    Debbisue52 Posts: 87 Member
    As I read the comments here I can see that it is indeed different for everyone, as I stated. I am still learning my "Lifestlyle" and everything everyone has said here makes perfect sense to me! So, perhaps including "goodies" in my daily calorie intake is not something I need to learn...I lean more towards having those not-so-nutritious choices, in moderation, once in a while. We have a boat we recreate on all summer long at a marina...so our weekends include quite a bit of partying. My big test will be learning to "party not so hardy" on the weekends and blowing all my hard work. I have already scoped out the route I will take in my daily walk/jog workout while there. Previous years I have just sat on the boat and watched others walk or run by on their morning workouts while I sipped on my Bloody Mary....lol! I am hoping the Wifi at the marina works this year so i will still be able to log in here every day!
  • jojoworks
    jojoworks Posts: 315 Member
    As I read the comments here I can see that it is indeed different for everyone, as I stated. I am still learning my "Lifestlyle" and everything everyone has said here makes perfect sense to me! So, perhaps including "goodies" in my daily calorie intake is not something I need to learn...I lean more towards having those not-so-nutritious choices, in moderation, once in a while. We have a boat we recreate on all summer long at a marina...so our weekends include quite a bit of partying. My big test will be learning to "party not so hardy" on the weekends and blowing all my hard work. I have already scoped out the route I will take in my daily walk/jog workout while there. Previous years I have just sat on the boat and watched others walk or run by on their morning workouts while I sipped on my Bloody Mary....lol! I am hoping the Wifi at the marina works this year so i will still be able to log in here every day!

    Sounds like you're on the right track. I hope you have an awesome summer!!!! Its hard to go from the "party-hardy" to the "party-healthy" routine, but you have a plan and you already know you're gonna have some partytime in there, so enjoy it!!!

    I wish I was kicking back on the boat with ya!!!
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