My stomach is nasty, freaky, disgusting...

JulieF11
JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
edited September 25 in Chit-Chat
Oh, how exciting it was to think of myself having lost over a hundred pounds... I imagined myself in a bikini like when I was in my teens. But after losing over 60 pounds, reality strikes!

Granted I have about 40 pounds to go yet, but I already have hanging skin around my abdomen. What?!? Oh my gosh, I look like a melting candle, like I'm wearing a baggy potato sack, my stomach looks like a HUGE mass of yeast dough that was just deflated. I don't look human. Will it ever go away? Will it look better after I lose more weight, or will it just get worse? Oh, heavens, I'm looking like a freak show character. Please tell me, someone, that it will get better.

I've had two c-sections, one classical and one vertical... one baby was 2 feet tall and 11 pounds... and in the process my abs were ripped (not in a good way). So my stomach stuck out like I was still pregnant for years. I told a personal trainer I had something weird going on with my abs. She asked me to do a crunch while she watched. When she watched the weird uneven protrusion of nasty bulge out to one side on my stomach, her eyes got wide and she had a look on her face like I was a freak of nature. Then she suggested I not do any crunches and go to the doctor... to check for a hernia. The doctor said it was my muscles torn in pregnancy. After losing all that weight, it still protrudes.

Another trainer embarrassing moment.... I had a different trainer tell me to lie down on the hamstring machine (the one where you kick backward). When I did, I was pinching some of my lose skin, but too embarrassed to let her know. I bit my lip and did the exercises. I was bruised and sore for days. I don't go to trainers anymore.

Some people have a bad body image, others like me, just acknowledge the ugly truth. I like myself, I really do, but my body doesn't reflect who I am inside. I remember the days when I was normal looking. I wonder if I'll ever look normal again.

I can't believe I did this to myself... My body is disgusting. Unless I wear a long shirt, down past my hips, I can't even cover the drooping. Is there any hope of being normal?

Replies

  • AdoreZel
    AdoreZel Posts: 63
    I feel like this also. Although I haven't lost as much as you but since having a baby I have done everything to lose my gut. It sags and sticks out it just won't go anywhere. It really messes with my self esteem. I'm doing turbo fire now I hope it helps but if it doesn't I just give up. :(
  • luckyinlife
    luckyinlife Posts: 81 Member
    Don't be too hard on yourself! Makes me sad :(
    I hope you get the answers that youre looking for but in the meantime, Don't be too hard on yourself :)
  • missy1970eb
    missy1970eb Posts: 1,209 Member
    how about trying swimming, will give u all over toning:flowerforyou:
  • darrenham
    darrenham Posts: 110 Member
    There's no such thing as toning, in an exercise sense.

    Yes over-stretched skin "can" improve. But not always. If it's really getting you down, speak to your doctor about it.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Self Hate is evident. Sounds like you are describing something that is so in-human that it does not deserve to live...OMG! But that's what years of Obesity and self hate will do, EVEN AFTER one has accomplished so much. Yes, most likely the excess skin will remain even after hard years of exercise, you will have to have surgery more than likely to get some definition. Learn to Love, Respect, Accept and Value Yourself Just As You Are - Right Now.
  • babytmarie27
    babytmarie27 Posts: 161
    OMG I have the exact same problem I too gave birth through c-sarean to a 11lb 23in boy and my belly has not been right since. I have a bulge that may not go away and loose sagging skin...the more I lose the worse it looks. It just depends on how much skin u have and how loose as to whether it will tighten up. Its very likely that it wont and will have to be corrected with surgery. My stomach is so hideous it has served as birth control since I had my son lol. Sorry this is probably not encouraging but at least I can relate.
  • DizzieLittleLifter
    DizzieLittleLifter Posts: 1,020 Member
    :heart: This seems like a vent of frustration to me. :heart: First of all, it's not freaky, disgusting or nasty; it's common after having children to have muscle separation! !There ARE some exercises you can do to help with the separation, but sometimes the only thing that will help is surgery. I had a pretty good size separation (more than 2 fingers) and two c-sections (BUT both were low bikini incisions). I now have about a finger's width. But hun, your body has done amazing things! It nutured and carried children; brought them to life. You've lost an incredible amount of weight. :flowerforyou: You've made a change to live a healthy lifestyle. Those are things to be proud of. :smile:
  • JaneDeere1975
    JaneDeere1975 Posts: 21
    I am with you in this boat...mine is very similar, although is due to child bearing.... I think it looks like it's been mauled by a bear or put through a meat grinder!! Totally disgusting...I hope you find some answers. I sure would like to know what to do also! :)

    Have a great weekend and chin-up...answers are out there somewhere! :)
  • 36jessica
    36jessica Posts: 319 Member
    Wow, I am so sorry you're feeling this way. I have the exact same problem AND I still have my 55lbs to lose. It appeared after my first child (almost 18 years ago). Since then I've had two other children and have been up and down the scale many times before, it's never gone away, it shrinks a little--a very little--but it doesn't go away. It's got to the point where I don't let my husband touch my belly and GOD FORBID I get naked in front of anyone, so, as you can see, I feel your pain. Have you tried wearing support panties, hose, girdles (whatever they're called)? They're uncomfortable, but they do offer support -- it's kind of like you're continuously sucking your stomach in. I really don't know about the torn muscle issue but there MUST be a way to fix the problem. Maybe you should see a specialist. As for me, I'm kind of playing with the idea of plastic surgery ater I've finally lost the weight (and if I can afford it :wink: ). Please don't feel so down and disgusted with yourself because you have come a very long way and are a true inspiration.
  • JulieF11
    JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
    Hmmm.... I really don't hate myself at all. I love who I am, but I do hate my saggy skin. It doesn't feel like it's part of me. I would definitely have it surgically removed if I could do so safely and I could afford it. I can easily say that I love my spirit, my creativeness, my thoughtfulness, my generosity, and other abilities I have. I can even tell you things I love about my body (not my stomach, mind you) but I do love my eyes, my feet, my ears, and smile. I don't think I hate myself at all. But I DO hate that skin, and was hoping someone out there had the same issue and found non-surgical solutions.
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